I lost my patience some time ago. I used to blame it on close minded professors. Now I blame it on work. I have all the patience in the world while I'm at work, so by the time I get home, I am done. I found myself being snippy and snotty for no reason. I have been praying for more patience for awhile now. I prayed for patience during the 8 months we tried to conceive. I prayed for patience during the pregnancy. I prayed for A LOT of patience during week 41 of the pregnancy. I now have patience. It could be due to the fact that I'm off work, but I think God's plan finally matched up with my wishes. I prayed for patience and got a baby.
You have to be patient with a baby. They can't tell you what is wrong. They don't automatically fall asleep when you want them too. They don't cooperate when you are changing their diaper.
The moral of this blog? Be careful what you pray for! I prayed for patience and got a child. Just kidding. I wouldn't trade him for anything....or would I??? Naa, I'll keep him. For now anyways. Hehe.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
Moving On
I know it sounds cliche, but I'm moving on. Being a parent has put some things into perspective for me. I know, I've been a mom for all of two weeks, but that was all it took. I've been struggling and grasping for things that I now realize I don't need nor do I want in my life. I was struggling (before TJ was here) to just let them go. Now I can. I don't know what suddenly changed, but I have been giving it over to God repeatedly and I think I finally handed over the last bit.
It feels good to be free of those burdens and pains. It's great to know that the negative energy those things brought to my life will be gone and now I can focus on the positive aspects in my life.
It wasn't easy though. Part of me still wonders, "Did I 'give up' too soon?" 95% of me knows what I did was right and I will be better for it, but that other 5% feels some sort of connection still with what I gave up. Guess I really haven't handed ALL of it over to Him have I? Darn, I have a lot to learn. Guess it's time to go do some more prayer journal/drawing (If Taylor stays asleep that is).
It feels good to be free of those burdens and pains. It's great to know that the negative energy those things brought to my life will be gone and now I can focus on the positive aspects in my life.
It wasn't easy though. Part of me still wonders, "Did I 'give up' too soon?" 95% of me knows what I did was right and I will be better for it, but that other 5% feels some sort of connection still with what I gave up. Guess I really haven't handed ALL of it over to Him have I? Darn, I have a lot to learn. Guess it's time to go do some more prayer journal/drawing (If Taylor stays asleep that is).
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Things the books leave out
I read a lot of books to prepare myself for pregnancy, labor, and parenthood. After being a member of the mommy club for all of 12 days now, I have come to the realization that most books leave some valuable information out. These things might be written in a book that I didn’t read, but I feel that these things should be included in all the books. Why leave new parents in the dark when it comes to the whole process? Please understand that this post is intended to be sarcastic and humorous. I really do love motherhood and wouldn’t trade it for the world.
1. Breaking of your water (might not be for the faint of heart)
Ahh, sure the books mention it, but they don’t tell you how it feels or sounds. People always asked me, “What will you do if your water breaks and your out in public?” Well, I never had to experience that. I was “lucky” enough to have it broken for me. You would think that will all the medical advances we have, the tool used for this procedure would look like a high tech gadget. Nope. It looked like an extra pair of chop sticks left over from lunch. It didn’t hurt, let me clarify that now. It’s just odd. You are laying there in bed, knowing what will happen, but still unsure of how the whole thing will feel. Someone told me it would feel like I wet myself. Well, having been accident free since, oh I don’t know 3 or 4, I had forgotten that feeling. The actual feeling is no where close. You’d think they would move you to a tub or over some basin or at least out of your bed, nope. It did feel like I wet myself, but to the tenth degree. I had no clue my body had that much “water” in it! I’d compare it to Adam Sandler’s “World’s Longest Pee” skit. Just when you think it’s done, you slightly shift your body and the water works begin again. Finally, they get you all cleaned up and put your bed back together and you think, “Ahh, maybe I’ll feel a little less pregnant since I just lost 10 lbs. of water.” Nope. You still feel just as big.
2. When vacuum extraction fails
I am proud to say that I broke my nurse mid-wife’s record. Taylor was birth number 560something and her first vacuum extraction. Too bad her attempt failed. They (CNM) are trained to use the tool, but don’t. Well, TJ left her no choice. He had his umbilical cord in his hand and his hand up by his face. This caused him to become stuck in the canal (yeah, it’s as pleasant as it sounds) and his heart rate to drop. I have heard different numbers here, so I’ll pick an average heart rate and say that TJ dropped down to 50 and gave everyone a scare. The vacuum doesn’t feel weird or hurt, what feels odd is when the vacuum extraction fails and pops off the baby’s head. I swore the nurse had just pulled off my baby’s head. I thought I was about to give birth to the headless baby. Actually, at this point, I was terrified and pleading with God. I was beginning to realize the seriousness of the situation and even did one of those “save him, take me” prayers. I don’t think it got to that point, but it felt like it to me. The 3 failed extraction attempts left Taylor with a lovely cone head! He was lucky though, his swelling went down by morning and he never bruised!
3. When there is no time for a c-section
Things can get tense in a delivery room. Problems arise and natural child birth may not be possible, the next step, a c-section. Sometimes c-sections aren’t an option due to time. I remember the OBGYN (he was called in to do my c-section since TJ was stuck) walking in, looking at me, and simply stating, “Not enough time, he has to come out now.” So you are wondering, how can you get the baby out if he is stuck and there isn’t enough time for a c-section? Let me tell you that when a 200lb doctor decides to push on your stomach and basically shoot the baby out, you are helpless. It’s an odd alternative to a c-section, but at least the recovery time is shorter!
4. The lovely post delivery underwear.
I really should take a picture because I don’t know if I can accurately describe them. Those of you who have delivered should know what I’m talking about. They finally got me out of bed around midnight and ushered me into the bathroom. Let me tell you, after having several people “up in your business” for 16 hours and pushing out a “stuck” baby, the last thing you want to do is take those 10 steps to the bathroom. Never the less, nurse Becky made me. At this point, you don’t care who sees what, heck they’d already seen it all during delivery. They get you all situation on the toilet and hand you a spray bottle (to ease the pain of the urine on your stitches). They then hand you what looks like something I’d use to scrub my dishes. When I questioned Becky about what the object in my hand was she simply replied, “Underwear.” I laughed. She was serious. They are mesh “shorts” that amazingly enough stretch to fit anyone of any size. They have a blue band at the top and my sister laughed and called them “little bo peep lingerie.” Oh, and for added detail, they have fringe on the side! Basically, you are wearing a fishing net. I’m sure they serve a purpose (air flow?) but they can also be a literal pain in the butt. Imagine having the waffle weave pattern stamped into your legs, or worse, your butt.
5. The sleepless nights
Sure, the books tell you that life will never be the same and your ability to sleep through the night will disappear for awhile. What they fail to mention is the sleepless nights you give yourself. I don’t know how many times I have gotten Taylor to sleep and have been dead tired myself, but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to put him in his cradle and go to bed. I find myself just marveling and the whole thing. That child was once inside of me. The entire process from conception to birth astounds me. God is truly awesome. Who else could have designed such a process? It starts out as some cell division and then 9 months later you have a child. A child that can steal your heart from the moment they place him on your chest. A child that can aggravate yet astound you at the same time. A child that can make you stop and thank God for His mighty deeds.
I am sure there are many more things I have yet to learn and I welcome those opportunities. I look forward to all things Taylor will bring into my life. We have already had a taste of the “sickly child” his first three days home. We were in and out of the hospital due to his white blood cell count and his jaundice, but thankfully those are cleared up and he is growing and putting back on the weight (he grew 1 ½ inches in a week) thanks to the supplemental goats milk my brother in law is providing us.
I know that I always said, “no more.” Several times during this pregnancy, but just like many predicted, I have changed my mind. I have changed my mind about a couple of things. While I do not wish to become pregnant any time soon, I now know that I could handle it. It wasn’t easy, but looking at Taylor as he sleeps in his pack and play reminds me that every sleepless night, every rushed trip to the bathroom, and all the pain of childbirth was well worth it. I have also decided that when/if there is a next time (we really do want to adopt and will look into that option) I will not be afraid of the needle. Sounds silly doesn’t it? In the past year I’ve had so many needles poked in me you’d think I’d be used to it. There was one needle I turned down. I didn’t have an epidural. I did have some pain medicine through an IV, but I asked them to stop it because it was speeding things along way to quickly. I was afraid of inserting a needle in my back, but when and if there is a next time, I won’t be so afraid.
They say that you should sleep when your baby sleeps. Well, it’s currently 2pm and Taylor is zonked out yet here I am, typing away. Maybe I’ll take their advice and go catch a nap; then again, the dishes need to be done…..
***************************
I talked to my sister yesterday and she said that she read this post to some of her friends and they found it hysterical. Let me tell you that I have plenty more, but haven't had the time to type them all out. Maybe I'll get to that this weekend (yeah right) and have some more hilarious thoughts to share with everyone next week.
1. Breaking of your water (might not be for the faint of heart)
Ahh, sure the books mention it, but they don’t tell you how it feels or sounds. People always asked me, “What will you do if your water breaks and your out in public?” Well, I never had to experience that. I was “lucky” enough to have it broken for me. You would think that will all the medical advances we have, the tool used for this procedure would look like a high tech gadget. Nope. It looked like an extra pair of chop sticks left over from lunch. It didn’t hurt, let me clarify that now. It’s just odd. You are laying there in bed, knowing what will happen, but still unsure of how the whole thing will feel. Someone told me it would feel like I wet myself. Well, having been accident free since, oh I don’t know 3 or 4, I had forgotten that feeling. The actual feeling is no where close. You’d think they would move you to a tub or over some basin or at least out of your bed, nope. It did feel like I wet myself, but to the tenth degree. I had no clue my body had that much “water” in it! I’d compare it to Adam Sandler’s “World’s Longest Pee” skit. Just when you think it’s done, you slightly shift your body and the water works begin again. Finally, they get you all cleaned up and put your bed back together and you think, “Ahh, maybe I’ll feel a little less pregnant since I just lost 10 lbs. of water.” Nope. You still feel just as big.
2. When vacuum extraction fails
I am proud to say that I broke my nurse mid-wife’s record. Taylor was birth number 560something and her first vacuum extraction. Too bad her attempt failed. They (CNM) are trained to use the tool, but don’t. Well, TJ left her no choice. He had his umbilical cord in his hand and his hand up by his face. This caused him to become stuck in the canal (yeah, it’s as pleasant as it sounds) and his heart rate to drop. I have heard different numbers here, so I’ll pick an average heart rate and say that TJ dropped down to 50 and gave everyone a scare. The vacuum doesn’t feel weird or hurt, what feels odd is when the vacuum extraction fails and pops off the baby’s head. I swore the nurse had just pulled off my baby’s head. I thought I was about to give birth to the headless baby. Actually, at this point, I was terrified and pleading with God. I was beginning to realize the seriousness of the situation and even did one of those “save him, take me” prayers. I don’t think it got to that point, but it felt like it to me. The 3 failed extraction attempts left Taylor with a lovely cone head! He was lucky though, his swelling went down by morning and he never bruised!
3. When there is no time for a c-section
Things can get tense in a delivery room. Problems arise and natural child birth may not be possible, the next step, a c-section. Sometimes c-sections aren’t an option due to time. I remember the OBGYN (he was called in to do my c-section since TJ was stuck) walking in, looking at me, and simply stating, “Not enough time, he has to come out now.” So you are wondering, how can you get the baby out if he is stuck and there isn’t enough time for a c-section? Let me tell you that when a 200lb doctor decides to push on your stomach and basically shoot the baby out, you are helpless. It’s an odd alternative to a c-section, but at least the recovery time is shorter!
4. The lovely post delivery underwear.
I really should take a picture because I don’t know if I can accurately describe them. Those of you who have delivered should know what I’m talking about. They finally got me out of bed around midnight and ushered me into the bathroom. Let me tell you, after having several people “up in your business” for 16 hours and pushing out a “stuck” baby, the last thing you want to do is take those 10 steps to the bathroom. Never the less, nurse Becky made me. At this point, you don’t care who sees what, heck they’d already seen it all during delivery. They get you all situation on the toilet and hand you a spray bottle (to ease the pain of the urine on your stitches). They then hand you what looks like something I’d use to scrub my dishes. When I questioned Becky about what the object in my hand was she simply replied, “Underwear.” I laughed. She was serious. They are mesh “shorts” that amazingly enough stretch to fit anyone of any size. They have a blue band at the top and my sister laughed and called them “little bo peep lingerie.” Oh, and for added detail, they have fringe on the side! Basically, you are wearing a fishing net. I’m sure they serve a purpose (air flow?) but they can also be a literal pain in the butt. Imagine having the waffle weave pattern stamped into your legs, or worse, your butt.
5. The sleepless nights
Sure, the books tell you that life will never be the same and your ability to sleep through the night will disappear for awhile. What they fail to mention is the sleepless nights you give yourself. I don’t know how many times I have gotten Taylor to sleep and have been dead tired myself, but for some reason I couldn’t bring myself to put him in his cradle and go to bed. I find myself just marveling and the whole thing. That child was once inside of me. The entire process from conception to birth astounds me. God is truly awesome. Who else could have designed such a process? It starts out as some cell division and then 9 months later you have a child. A child that can steal your heart from the moment they place him on your chest. A child that can aggravate yet astound you at the same time. A child that can make you stop and thank God for His mighty deeds.
I am sure there are many more things I have yet to learn and I welcome those opportunities. I look forward to all things Taylor will bring into my life. We have already had a taste of the “sickly child” his first three days home. We were in and out of the hospital due to his white blood cell count and his jaundice, but thankfully those are cleared up and he is growing and putting back on the weight (he grew 1 ½ inches in a week) thanks to the supplemental goats milk my brother in law is providing us.
I know that I always said, “no more.” Several times during this pregnancy, but just like many predicted, I have changed my mind. I have changed my mind about a couple of things. While I do not wish to become pregnant any time soon, I now know that I could handle it. It wasn’t easy, but looking at Taylor as he sleeps in his pack and play reminds me that every sleepless night, every rushed trip to the bathroom, and all the pain of childbirth was well worth it. I have also decided that when/if there is a next time (we really do want to adopt and will look into that option) I will not be afraid of the needle. Sounds silly doesn’t it? In the past year I’ve had so many needles poked in me you’d think I’d be used to it. There was one needle I turned down. I didn’t have an epidural. I did have some pain medicine through an IV, but I asked them to stop it because it was speeding things along way to quickly. I was afraid of inserting a needle in my back, but when and if there is a next time, I won’t be so afraid.
They say that you should sleep when your baby sleeps. Well, it’s currently 2pm and Taylor is zonked out yet here I am, typing away. Maybe I’ll take their advice and go catch a nap; then again, the dishes need to be done…..
***************************
I talked to my sister yesterday and she said that she read this post to some of her friends and they found it hysterical. Let me tell you that I have plenty more, but haven't had the time to type them all out. Maybe I'll get to that this weekend (yeah right) and have some more hilarious thoughts to share with everyone next week.
More Pictures
Here is a link to some new pictures I've finally managed to upload to my facebook account.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=10309&l=d80e8&id=790068782
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=10309&l=d80e8&id=790068782
Friday, March 28, 2008
Tater Monkey's First Pictures
Right after Taylor was born. I was so exhausted, yet amazed that this little life came out of me. 
You can see the black eye he gave himself. Labor was complicated because he had a hold of his cord and had his hand up by his face, causing him to get stuck and his heart rate to drop. The black eye went away within hours and he no longer looks like an alien child. He looks very much like Ayron did at 3 weeks old.
Proud daddy and child.
Taylor Josiah Reeves
7lbs 14 1/2 ounces
21 1/2 inches long
Nickname(s): TJ or Tater Monkey. TJ after Ayron's grandfather. Tater Monkey came about because he has freakishly long toes and we started calling him a monkey. Aunt Natalee decided to call him Tater, we combined the two and now we call him Tater Monkey.
Here are some pictures that Natalee took right after the delivery.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Taylor Josiah Reeves
Just wanted to write a "short" blog letting everyone know that Taylor Josiah is here.
He arrived on March 26, 2008 at 9:36pm after 16 hours of labor. Towards the end it was scary. He was "stuck" in the birth canal and was holding his umbilical cord against his right cheek. This was causing unsafe drops in his heart rate. The CNM had just decided that a c-section was going to be the safest route when the dr over her came in, evaluated and announced, "There isn't anytime, we have to get him out now." Luckily, I was out of it so I don't remember that or I really would have panicked. The dr and a nurse pushed on my stomach as I gave my last ditch effort at a push and they were able to get him out. I will say that after over 550 births, Taylor is the first child that my CNM has ever used the vacuum on. She came in this morning all apologetic, but I reassured her that I was happy and apologized for anything I might have told her the night before.
Yeah, I was a bit mouth. At one point I told Ayron his breath stunk and to get out my face. I kicked my mom out because she wasn't rubbing my back hard enough. I am proud (and thankful) to say that my sister stepped in as my back rubber and was in the room the ENTIRE TIME. Yes folks, my weak stomached sister watched the whole thing and I am very grateful she was there.
I do have some pictures to post, but it's been a crazy day and I should try to get some shut eye. They are thinking that the dr will stop in tonight and do the circumcision tonight. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.
He arrived on March 26, 2008 at 9:36pm after 16 hours of labor. Towards the end it was scary. He was "stuck" in the birth canal and was holding his umbilical cord against his right cheek. This was causing unsafe drops in his heart rate. The CNM had just decided that a c-section was going to be the safest route when the dr over her came in, evaluated and announced, "There isn't anytime, we have to get him out now." Luckily, I was out of it so I don't remember that or I really would have panicked. The dr and a nurse pushed on my stomach as I gave my last ditch effort at a push and they were able to get him out. I will say that after over 550 births, Taylor is the first child that my CNM has ever used the vacuum on. She came in this morning all apologetic, but I reassured her that I was happy and apologized for anything I might have told her the night before.
Yeah, I was a bit mouth. At one point I told Ayron his breath stunk and to get out my face. I kicked my mom out because she wasn't rubbing my back hard enough. I am proud (and thankful) to say that my sister stepped in as my back rubber and was in the room the ENTIRE TIME. Yes folks, my weak stomached sister watched the whole thing and I am very grateful she was there.
I do have some pictures to post, but it's been a crazy day and I should try to get some shut eye. They are thinking that the dr will stop in tonight and do the circumcision tonight. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers.
Monday, March 24, 2008
One of those mornings
I decided to actually venture out of the house this morning. I got around and came up to the coffee shop for some wireless access and hot chocolate.
After blogging about feeling attacked I started to feel better. Then the phone rang. Someone that Ayron works with committed suicide yesterday leaving behind a wife and two small children. My heart broke. I didn't really know the person because he was an Auburn store employee, but I had met him and had a conversation with him at the Christmas party. He seemed like a cool person to get to know.
I was blown away, no one even thought this person was capable of taking his own life. Then again, how many people like him fall through the cracks? I know several. It just really makes me think and puts things into perspective.
Yeah, I'm having a crumby morning trying to think through friendship issues, but my life is not so bad that I would take it. It sucks that it takes someone losing their life to make your life come into perspective.
My thoughts, prayers, and heart goes out to the family. I hope in time they find answers and healing.
After blogging about feeling attacked I started to feel better. Then the phone rang. Someone that Ayron works with committed suicide yesterday leaving behind a wife and two small children. My heart broke. I didn't really know the person because he was an Auburn store employee, but I had met him and had a conversation with him at the Christmas party. He seemed like a cool person to get to know.
I was blown away, no one even thought this person was capable of taking his own life. Then again, how many people like him fall through the cracks? I know several. It just really makes me think and puts things into perspective.
Yeah, I'm having a crumby morning trying to think through friendship issues, but my life is not so bad that I would take it. It sucks that it takes someone losing their life to make your life come into perspective.
My thoughts, prayers, and heart goes out to the family. I hope in time they find answers and healing.
Feeling Attacked Yet Loved
Wow, two attacks in one day is a bit much for one persons ego. Someone posted a semi attacking comment on my last blog. I have no clue who the person is, but I did apologize for how they felt and how my actions caused them to feel that way. Then I read a friends blog to find I had been attacked again for not returning a phone call. I AM SORRY PEOPLE. How many times can I apologize.
I really wanted to lash out at the second person, but then it hit me. They don't get it. They are at a different place in their life than I am . I am a married home body who even if she weren't married, would still be a home body. So I sent an email explaining my pain and view on the situation. Hopefully all is well and we can get on with our lives.
My sister came to my aid after someone (I really have no clue who you are, so email me please so I am not in the dark. The attack out of left field is not my favorite) posted their comment on my blog. She has come to my aid a lot lately. She knows how to concerned and not overly protective like my mothers can be. It's nice to know she cares and extra nice to know that she gets me and checks in every other day.
I've come to realize that friends see things differently. I have one (the one I thought would be the most supportive) friend who is suddenly changing. She has several married friends and two of us are pregnant and since we are pregnant, we talk about pregnancy things. I'm sorry. It just happens. So she feels hurt and etc. My other really good friend (the one I thought who really would just drift away) calls or texts me everyday to check in and see how I am doing. After I sent her sad text about not being induced last week she sent such a loving text back. She is proof that you can be in different places and still be friends. We haven't acknowledged the fact we are in different places in life, but we both accept it. We know that if we go for weeks without talking it's not because one is harboring secret hate towards the other, we are just busy people. Her text caught me off guard and showed me that you can be friends long after high school. Heck, we met in 6th grade when her curly hair blocked my view of the chalk board.
So can people be friends and still be a different stages in their lives? Sure, a lot of my friends are married. Some have kids, some are trying, some don't, some just got married. But we all get along. Why is that? Is it because we all acknowledge we are in different places and are willing to be genuinely happy for everyone? Do I just abandon my friend who doesn't get it because I have plenty that do? I am willing to put forth the effort, but what if she isn't? I don't think it's an age issue, I think it's a maturity and place in life issue. 98% of my friends are married, or soon to be, so we have that is common. Several are pregnant or trying, so we have that in common. So if I have so many friends that do understand, why am I letting my own friends "attack" hurt me so deeply? I have other things I should be focusing on today, yet I just keep sitting here feeling hurt. Blogging has helped, but until she returns the ball to my court I don't know if I can completely push it to the back of my mind.
I really wanted to lash out at the second person, but then it hit me. They don't get it. They are at a different place in their life than I am . I am a married home body who even if she weren't married, would still be a home body. So I sent an email explaining my pain and view on the situation. Hopefully all is well and we can get on with our lives.
My sister came to my aid after someone (I really have no clue who you are, so email me please so I am not in the dark. The attack out of left field is not my favorite) posted their comment on my blog. She has come to my aid a lot lately. She knows how to concerned and not overly protective like my mothers can be. It's nice to know she cares and extra nice to know that she gets me and checks in every other day.
I've come to realize that friends see things differently. I have one (the one I thought would be the most supportive) friend who is suddenly changing. She has several married friends and two of us are pregnant and since we are pregnant, we talk about pregnancy things. I'm sorry. It just happens. So she feels hurt and etc. My other really good friend (the one I thought who really would just drift away) calls or texts me everyday to check in and see how I am doing. After I sent her sad text about not being induced last week she sent such a loving text back. She is proof that you can be in different places and still be friends. We haven't acknowledged the fact we are in different places in life, but we both accept it. We know that if we go for weeks without talking it's not because one is harboring secret hate towards the other, we are just busy people. Her text caught me off guard and showed me that you can be friends long after high school. Heck, we met in 6th grade when her curly hair blocked my view of the chalk board.
So can people be friends and still be a different stages in their lives? Sure, a lot of my friends are married. Some have kids, some are trying, some don't, some just got married. But we all get along. Why is that? Is it because we all acknowledge we are in different places and are willing to be genuinely happy for everyone? Do I just abandon my friend who doesn't get it because I have plenty that do? I am willing to put forth the effort, but what if she isn't? I don't think it's an age issue, I think it's a maturity and place in life issue. 98% of my friends are married, or soon to be, so we have that is common. Several are pregnant or trying, so we have that in common. So if I have so many friends that do understand, why am I letting my own friends "attack" hurt me so deeply? I have other things I should be focusing on today, yet I just keep sitting here feeling hurt. Blogging has helped, but until she returns the ball to my court I don't know if I can completely push it to the back of my mind.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
No One Told...
Taylor that I like things to be early or at least on time.
We had another doctor's visit yesterday. They were concerned with my health and wouldn't even let me walk to the lab. They brought the lab to me. I had some blood drawn, and some other work done (not pleasant to recall). They told me they would call back in the afternoon and set up a time for me to come in to be induced that evening.
I'm still pregnant. Apparently my labs contradicted what my body signs were, so they decided against it. It was an emotional blow, I'm not going to lie. I cried for an hour. I just want to have him here. People kept telling us, "Well, enjoy the peace and quiet, you're life will never be the same." I know that. We didn't go into this whole experience thinking things would ever be the same. It's just really frustrating. I know people are trying to be comforting, but why won't more people be say things like, "THAT SUCKS!" We all know we are thinking it, so why doesn't anyone say it? Not like you're going to offend me.
I go back in on Friday for more tests and hopefully by then they will induce or he'll decide to come on his own. I thought he was going to come on his own last night at Ayron's soccer game, but after I decided, "Ok, if this doesn't calm down/stop by 11, I'll page the doctor." I fell asleep at 10:30 and did manage to sleep through the night. They are concerned because I don't feel the contractions. Actually, the only reason I know I'm having one now is because I tired to scoot closer to my desk and felt my rock hard tummy hit the desk.
So I've been doing a lot of thinking about "natural" inducing techniques and here are my thoughts.
Intercourse: Isn't that how we got in this situation in the first place?
Spicy Food: Doesn't help. I tried it Saturday night with Erin and as far as I know, we are both still pregnant. Heck, I didn't even get heartburn.
Bean and Bacon Soup: My mom swears that two cans of the soup made with milk will do the trick. Mom thought the soup gave her gas, nope, out came my sister. My dad reminded me, "Yes but the arrival of your sister was preceded by hours of your mother vomiting up the soup." I'm not that desperate yet.
Walking: Doesn't work for me. I started using long walks as a way to slowly get into shape before we conceived. While they are great for tuckering Scooter out, they don't do much for me.
EPO (Evening Prim Rose Oil): I've been on it for almost a month now. It does a great job at softening your cervix, but it's not going to sent me into labor.
Caster Oil: I always picture motor oil, I don't know why. I have people that swear by this, but I'm a bit skeptical. It's just a natural laxative. Maybe having diarrhea from taking it will stimulate your stomach muscles into contractions??
Massage: I am seriously looking into this one. I know there are pressure points and there are several people in my area that are certified in pre-natal massage so I might just try to schedule an appointment for tomorrow.
I'm sure there are many more out there, but these are the one's people keep bringing up to me. Hopefully Taylor decides to come on his own, and soon.
We had another doctor's visit yesterday. They were concerned with my health and wouldn't even let me walk to the lab. They brought the lab to me. I had some blood drawn, and some other work done (not pleasant to recall). They told me they would call back in the afternoon and set up a time for me to come in to be induced that evening.
I'm still pregnant. Apparently my labs contradicted what my body signs were, so they decided against it. It was an emotional blow, I'm not going to lie. I cried for an hour. I just want to have him here. People kept telling us, "Well, enjoy the peace and quiet, you're life will never be the same." I know that. We didn't go into this whole experience thinking things would ever be the same. It's just really frustrating. I know people are trying to be comforting, but why won't more people be say things like, "THAT SUCKS!" We all know we are thinking it, so why doesn't anyone say it? Not like you're going to offend me.
I go back in on Friday for more tests and hopefully by then they will induce or he'll decide to come on his own. I thought he was going to come on his own last night at Ayron's soccer game, but after I decided, "Ok, if this doesn't calm down/stop by 11, I'll page the doctor." I fell asleep at 10:30 and did manage to sleep through the night. They are concerned because I don't feel the contractions. Actually, the only reason I know I'm having one now is because I tired to scoot closer to my desk and felt my rock hard tummy hit the desk.
So I've been doing a lot of thinking about "natural" inducing techniques and here are my thoughts.
Intercourse: Isn't that how we got in this situation in the first place?
Spicy Food: Doesn't help. I tried it Saturday night with Erin and as far as I know, we are both still pregnant. Heck, I didn't even get heartburn.
Bean and Bacon Soup: My mom swears that two cans of the soup made with milk will do the trick. Mom thought the soup gave her gas, nope, out came my sister. My dad reminded me, "Yes but the arrival of your sister was preceded by hours of your mother vomiting up the soup." I'm not that desperate yet.
Walking: Doesn't work for me. I started using long walks as a way to slowly get into shape before we conceived. While they are great for tuckering Scooter out, they don't do much for me.
EPO (Evening Prim Rose Oil): I've been on it for almost a month now. It does a great job at softening your cervix, but it's not going to sent me into labor.
Caster Oil: I always picture motor oil, I don't know why. I have people that swear by this, but I'm a bit skeptical. It's just a natural laxative. Maybe having diarrhea from taking it will stimulate your stomach muscles into contractions??
Massage: I am seriously looking into this one. I know there are pressure points and there are several people in my area that are certified in pre-natal massage so I might just try to schedule an appointment for tomorrow.
I'm sure there are many more out there, but these are the one's people keep bringing up to me. Hopefully Taylor decides to come on his own, and soon.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Ayron's New Favorite Song
Ayron and I heard this song the other day and now his favorite line is, "I'm still a guy" anytime he does something goofy.
When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnics
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You're probably thinking that you're gonna change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up aww but no matter what
Remember, I'm still a guy
When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that ridin' a wild bull sounds crazy
And I'd like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I'm still a guy
And I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by
I can hear you now talkin' to your friends
Saying, "Yeah girls he's come a long way"
From draggin' his knuckles and carryin' a club
And buildin' a fire in a cave
But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well now, what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I'm still a guy
And I'll pour out my heart
Hold your hand in the car
Write a love song that makes you cry
Then turn right around knock some jerk to the ground
'Cause he copped a feel as you walked by
These days there's dudes gettin' facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can't grip a tacklebox
Yeah with all of these men linin' up to get neutered
It's hip now to be feminized
I don't highlight my hair
I've still got a pair
Yeah honey, I'm still a guy
Oh my eyebrows ain't plucked
There's a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I'm still a guy
Goofy Thought
When I wake up, I'm not always awake. I manage to stumble to the bathroom and I often brush my teeth first (morning breath is gross, prego morning breath is much worse). This morning as I was squirting my trust Crest toothpaste onto my new Colgate "cross motion" toothbrush, I had a thought.
Why do I always start brushing on the lower right side of my mouth first? By the time I make my way around to the upper left side, is there enough toothpaste left to do any good? Are my teeth on the right side of my mouth cleaner than the left because they get the toothpaste first? Does it even matter? When the dentist looks in my mouth can he tell? Are those teeth whiter? Should I reapply some toothpaste before moving onto the left side of my mouth?
My final thought....."Why in the world am I putting so much thought into this stupid idea?"
Why do I always start brushing on the lower right side of my mouth first? By the time I make my way around to the upper left side, is there enough toothpaste left to do any good? Are my teeth on the right side of my mouth cleaner than the left because they get the toothpaste first? Does it even matter? When the dentist looks in my mouth can he tell? Are those teeth whiter? Should I reapply some toothpaste before moving onto the left side of my mouth?
My final thought....."Why in the world am I putting so much thought into this stupid idea?"
Ready, Set, Wait.....
It's now a waiting game. The nursery is completely finished. I went home early yesterday and finished washing the baby clothes and putting them away. We got the rocking chair all set and in place, the night table, etc. It looks so darn stinking cute! I've taken some pictures, but I haven't taken the time to load them into the computer.
Ayron helped me slightly rearrange (if you count shifting everything on one wall 3 feet to the left) our bedroom. Ayron's dad brought over the cradle he and my brother in law built and it is GORGEOUS! I took some pictures, but I haven't taken the time to load those either. I don't know why, but I really wanted a hand made cradle for some reason. I think it's because I know that if my grandfather were around he would have made one. This way there is a new family heirloom and two people (plus some nieces) were involved in building it.
So now it's a waiting game. Everything is set, so now I sit. It's hard because we all know patience is a virtue I lack. I have a ton when it comes to students, but in my own life, I am lacking. I've prayed for more patience (that is a double edged sword) so for now, here I sit and wait and watch the clock.
My nieces are really experiencing birth. My middle niece became the proud mother to 10 New Zealand bunnies yesterday. Their goat (Banana) had her baby about a week ago. Being that it was the goat's first kid, some assistance was needed and my nieces were allowed to watch. They now wonder why my youngest niece (see some previous posts about her theories on birth and babies) is afraid to come see me when I go into the hospital. She is afraid that there will be several people in my room pulling a baby out of my "end" (she thinks that's where they come out). This whole experience has been a nightmare for her. After all in her world, babies only take 6 weeks to get here (rabbit breeding time) and then 3 adults have to help pull the baby out (goat birthing), and then her daddy will put a band around Taylor's boy parts so that Taylor can't make babies (goats). Once Taylor is a little bit bigger, her mommy will tattoo Taylor's name and registration number inside Taylor's ear (rabbits). Oh the stories this child will tell when she hits kindergarten.
Ayron helped me slightly rearrange (if you count shifting everything on one wall 3 feet to the left) our bedroom. Ayron's dad brought over the cradle he and my brother in law built and it is GORGEOUS! I took some pictures, but I haven't taken the time to load those either. I don't know why, but I really wanted a hand made cradle for some reason. I think it's because I know that if my grandfather were around he would have made one. This way there is a new family heirloom and two people (plus some nieces) were involved in building it.
So now it's a waiting game. Everything is set, so now I sit. It's hard because we all know patience is a virtue I lack. I have a ton when it comes to students, but in my own life, I am lacking. I've prayed for more patience (that is a double edged sword) so for now, here I sit and wait and watch the clock.
My nieces are really experiencing birth. My middle niece became the proud mother to 10 New Zealand bunnies yesterday. Their goat (Banana) had her baby about a week ago. Being that it was the goat's first kid, some assistance was needed and my nieces were allowed to watch. They now wonder why my youngest niece (see some previous posts about her theories on birth and babies) is afraid to come see me when I go into the hospital. She is afraid that there will be several people in my room pulling a baby out of my "end" (she thinks that's where they come out). This whole experience has been a nightmare for her. After all in her world, babies only take 6 weeks to get here (rabbit breeding time) and then 3 adults have to help pull the baby out (goat birthing), and then her daddy will put a band around Taylor's boy parts so that Taylor can't make babies (goats). Once Taylor is a little bit bigger, her mommy will tattoo Taylor's name and registration number inside Taylor's ear (rabbits). Oh the stories this child will tell when she hits kindergarten.
Monday, March 10, 2008
New Sins?
I'm not catholic. Never have been, probably never will be. Catholicisms confuses me. I'm not afraid to admit that I haven't really tried to understand it either. Just throwing that out there for you catholics (I know who you are).
I read this article on yahoo this morning.
I'm confused. If I am not supposed to "cause environmental blight" and I decide to throw away the yogurt container instead of recycling it, did I just sin? I guess you could say yes, because I was probably too lazy (one of the seven deadly sins) to rinse it out, put it in the plastics bin, and then on the appropriate day, drag the bin to the curb.
I understand the Vatican opposing stem cell research, but I am wondering how much they know about the research. Do they know that a life does not have to be lost to get the cells? Do they know that you can get the cells from an umbilical cord right after birth? What do they have against someone trying to discover a cure for a painful disease? I understand that they may feel that God issues what is needed to each of us, but if we were truly meant to have that disease, wouldn't He make sure that the medicine won't work on us?
The article also comments on the declining number of people who are going to confession. While flipping through the radio stations one morning, the cast on Bob and Tom were talking about it as well. The lone catholic in the group offered her opinion as to why. She thought that since the church was slowly taking away the confessional and confessions were taking place face to face, many people stopped going. They felt uncomfortable confessing face to face. I have a problem with this logic.
If you can't confess your sins to your church leader, how on earth do you think you'll be able to confess your sins to Him? If you can't look another human in the eye and admit you did something wrong, how are you going to look HIM in the eye and fess up. We know He already knows, but that's not the point. If you can't confess to the sin, shouldn't you think about that before you go back out and sin again?
Maybe my ignorance is due to my lack of knowledge in Catholicism. Maybe I'm just in a grouchy mood because I'm still pregnant, who knows. All I can hope is that if I confess my laziness about the yogurt container to Pastor Diehl, I'll be forgiven.
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The last sentence was not meant to be mean or harmful. It is just my sick sense of sarcasm showing through today.
I read this article on yahoo this morning.
I'm confused. If I am not supposed to "cause environmental blight" and I decide to throw away the yogurt container instead of recycling it, did I just sin? I guess you could say yes, because I was probably too lazy (one of the seven deadly sins) to rinse it out, put it in the plastics bin, and then on the appropriate day, drag the bin to the curb.
I understand the Vatican opposing stem cell research, but I am wondering how much they know about the research. Do they know that a life does not have to be lost to get the cells? Do they know that you can get the cells from an umbilical cord right after birth? What do they have against someone trying to discover a cure for a painful disease? I understand that they may feel that God issues what is needed to each of us, but if we were truly meant to have that disease, wouldn't He make sure that the medicine won't work on us?
The article also comments on the declining number of people who are going to confession. While flipping through the radio stations one morning, the cast on Bob and Tom were talking about it as well. The lone catholic in the group offered her opinion as to why. She thought that since the church was slowly taking away the confessional and confessions were taking place face to face, many people stopped going. They felt uncomfortable confessing face to face. I have a problem with this logic.
If you can't confess your sins to your church leader, how on earth do you think you'll be able to confess your sins to Him? If you can't look another human in the eye and admit you did something wrong, how are you going to look HIM in the eye and fess up. We know He already knows, but that's not the point. If you can't confess to the sin, shouldn't you think about that before you go back out and sin again?
Maybe my ignorance is due to my lack of knowledge in Catholicism. Maybe I'm just in a grouchy mood because I'm still pregnant, who knows. All I can hope is that if I confess my laziness about the yogurt container to Pastor Diehl, I'll be forgiven.
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The last sentence was not meant to be mean or harmful. It is just my sick sense of sarcasm showing through today.
Why Lie?
Why lie? What benefit does it give the teller? They may think, "Oh I got away with it." But come on now, I don't have "stupid" stamped across my forehead. I'll figure it out.
I tell things like they are. I am sorry if it offends you (you meaning one of my students), but I'm not going to lie to you and tell you life is roses when you are running the risk of being placed. These students are used to being lied to, but they know that I won't. I establish that from day one. I tell them (in front of their parents), "I will not lie to you and I ask that you give me the same courtesy." To the kids, someone being that honest is refreshing for them. I may start the conversation with, "You may not like this, but keep in mind WE WILL FIGURE IT OUT TOGETHER...." I let them know they are not alone in their fight. I just ask for some respect and honesty in return.
What really gets me is when the parents are in on the lie. Why do they think that will help their child? All it does is make them look dumb. Do people not think that I can communicate with other people and discover the truth? Oh, and when I do discover the truth, don't try to hide. I know you have caller id, I know you are screening your calls. I know that you know I caught you in your lie. Own up to it. It will look better in court than if you keep trying to play dumb.
Like usual, this is brought on by an incident at work, but it got me thinking. Sure, the truth can hurt the teller and the listener, but finding out later that it wasn't the truth hurts more. I think even sugar coating something can be considered a lie (in some situations). Be upfront. I'm not saying to be rude about telling the truth. Have some tact, but you don't need to himhaw around the truth or try to manipulate your wording. When the truth is figured out, the liar looks really pathetic. Why not own up to your mistakes and tell the truth?
Is it really that hard for some people to tell the truth?
On the other end of the spectrum. If you ask for the truth you have to be willing to accept the truth and not hate the person that was willing to tell you the truth. That can be a bitter pill to swallow.
I tell things like they are. I am sorry if it offends you (you meaning one of my students), but I'm not going to lie to you and tell you life is roses when you are running the risk of being placed. These students are used to being lied to, but they know that I won't. I establish that from day one. I tell them (in front of their parents), "I will not lie to you and I ask that you give me the same courtesy." To the kids, someone being that honest is refreshing for them. I may start the conversation with, "You may not like this, but keep in mind WE WILL FIGURE IT OUT TOGETHER...." I let them know they are not alone in their fight. I just ask for some respect and honesty in return.
What really gets me is when the parents are in on the lie. Why do they think that will help their child? All it does is make them look dumb. Do people not think that I can communicate with other people and discover the truth? Oh, and when I do discover the truth, don't try to hide. I know you have caller id, I know you are screening your calls. I know that you know I caught you in your lie. Own up to it. It will look better in court than if you keep trying to play dumb.
Like usual, this is brought on by an incident at work, but it got me thinking. Sure, the truth can hurt the teller and the listener, but finding out later that it wasn't the truth hurts more. I think even sugar coating something can be considered a lie (in some situations). Be upfront. I'm not saying to be rude about telling the truth. Have some tact, but you don't need to himhaw around the truth or try to manipulate your wording. When the truth is figured out, the liar looks really pathetic. Why not own up to your mistakes and tell the truth?
Is it really that hard for some people to tell the truth?
On the other end of the spectrum. If you ask for the truth you have to be willing to accept the truth and not hate the person that was willing to tell you the truth. That can be a bitter pill to swallow.
Friday, March 07, 2008
Come On Now
What is the big deal? Please tell me if I am missing something.
My program is a "school" for students who have been suspended or expelled from the local schools. Upon enrollment the family is informed that we do random drug screens as a part of our program. Signing the handbook and the rule sheets grants us permission to do the screens. If they refuse to sign, they their child never begins my program. I have never had anyone refuse to sign because they are usually court ordered into the program. They will do anything to keep their kid in school and in the county so they sign. It's not a big deal.
We decided to drug screen everyone today due to some erratic behavior. When it came time for a particular student, a fit was thrown. I simply explained, "When you were enrolled your guardians as well as yourself signed this form and the form says right here that you will submit to random drug screens." They became upset and called their guardian. I then got an earful from him. Long story short, guardian threatened to sue me. The student then walked out of the program. They just threw their education away.
So my question is, if you signed the form, and you knew I could drug screen you, and you are clean, they why pitch a fit? Probably because they were afraid they'd test dirty. But testing dirty and facing those consequences is a heck of a lot easier than throwing away your education. Is there something I'm not seeing here?
My program is a "school" for students who have been suspended or expelled from the local schools. Upon enrollment the family is informed that we do random drug screens as a part of our program. Signing the handbook and the rule sheets grants us permission to do the screens. If they refuse to sign, they their child never begins my program. I have never had anyone refuse to sign because they are usually court ordered into the program. They will do anything to keep their kid in school and in the county so they sign. It's not a big deal.
We decided to drug screen everyone today due to some erratic behavior. When it came time for a particular student, a fit was thrown. I simply explained, "When you were enrolled your guardians as well as yourself signed this form and the form says right here that you will submit to random drug screens." They became upset and called their guardian. I then got an earful from him. Long story short, guardian threatened to sue me. The student then walked out of the program. They just threw their education away.
So my question is, if you signed the form, and you knew I could drug screen you, and you are clean, they why pitch a fit? Probably because they were afraid they'd test dirty. But testing dirty and facing those consequences is a heck of a lot easier than throwing away your education. Is there something I'm not seeing here?
Not Sure How I Feel
Yesterday was our weekly check up with the nurse midwife. No new news on that front. Still just waiting. Ayron could tell I was disappointed. I wanted her to say something like, "Oh! We better admit you" or "I wouldn't make any plans for tomorrow night."
When we got home Ayron asked if I was disappointed. I couldn't answer him. I didn't know how I felt. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't terribly upset. Sure, I'm tired of being uncomfortable, but at least we don't have the gestation period of elephants (two years). Have I become numb or am I finally willing to let His timing take over my wishful timing?
Earlier this week I had an emotional break through. Pregnancy comes with mega hormones. I like to think that I can keep my emotions in control but the last two weeks have been hard. I've tried to suppress, but the emotions broke through. I guess it really scared Ayron. After all it did come out of left field.
So after my breakdown and yesterdays news, Ayron asked me last night if it was safe to leave me at home alone. He was afraid I'd try to break my own water. I looked at him and said, "How would I even do that?" He replied, "I dunno, a chop stick or something." I started laughing my head off. Nice to know he's concerned, but scary to think that he thinks I'm that far gone that I'd try to break my own water.
When we got home Ayron asked if I was disappointed. I couldn't answer him. I didn't know how I felt. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't terribly upset. Sure, I'm tired of being uncomfortable, but at least we don't have the gestation period of elephants (two years). Have I become numb or am I finally willing to let His timing take over my wishful timing?
Earlier this week I had an emotional break through. Pregnancy comes with mega hormones. I like to think that I can keep my emotions in control but the last two weeks have been hard. I've tried to suppress, but the emotions broke through. I guess it really scared Ayron. After all it did come out of left field.
So after my breakdown and yesterdays news, Ayron asked me last night if it was safe to leave me at home alone. He was afraid I'd try to break my own water. I looked at him and said, "How would I even do that?" He replied, "I dunno, a chop stick or something." I started laughing my head off. Nice to know he's concerned, but scary to think that he thinks I'm that far gone that I'd try to break my own water.
In the middle and confused
So once again I am in the middle. I don't think I put myself here, I think I was put here. Not that the person knew they were doing it, but it has been done. I am not sure how to react.
Back in middle school and high school I was best friends with the same group of girls. Up until my senior year I was great friends with one of them in particular. Then she started drifting away. She became engaged to a guy from another school. At the start of the second semester we became good friends again. The reason? I had started to date her fiances best friend (yes, Ayron). Then I left for college and we (the couples) drifted apart. They got married, Ayron and I continued to date. Fast forward like 5 years.
The couple divorces due to a sticky situation. Ayron and I become friends with the guy again. Ayron is happy to have his best friend back (and re call the dumb stuff they used to do) and I'm amazed to learn that he is a different guy now that he is no longer married to my former best friend. Turned out he was married to someone that they went to high school with (an older woman at that...haha. had to through that one in).
We become friends and have started hanging out and talking, etc. Now they are the God parents for our son. I love having this relationship with them and getting to know a different side of the guy I never knew when he was dating/married to my former friend.
Then the former friend finds me on facebook. I added her as a friend this morning, but I am unsure what to say to her. It's not like I have to tell her everything, "Um...I'm now really good friends with your ex and his new wife and they are the God parents of my child........" But I know that this person needs some friends. She burned many bridges during the divorce and I think she is slowly realizing all that she lost.
I know the whole thing about "hate the sin, not the sinner" but I still can't wrap my mind around the circumstances of the divorce. I talked to the "new wife" this morning and told her what I was feeling and she thinks I'm silly for stressing out over it. Maybe I am. I am just trying to figure out how to make the old world work with the new world. I'd like to be friends with my former friend, but right now I am not sure if I could keep my mouth shut and not offer my opinion about her past.
Lord,
Grant me the ability to know what to say and how to say it. Allow me to get over the past. Everyone else has. I was directly affected, and she didn't hurt me, so why am I hung up on it? Allow me to forgive her and open up my life to her again.
Amen.
Back in middle school and high school I was best friends with the same group of girls. Up until my senior year I was great friends with one of them in particular. Then she started drifting away. She became engaged to a guy from another school. At the start of the second semester we became good friends again. The reason? I had started to date her fiances best friend (yes, Ayron). Then I left for college and we (the couples) drifted apart. They got married, Ayron and I continued to date. Fast forward like 5 years.
The couple divorces due to a sticky situation. Ayron and I become friends with the guy again. Ayron is happy to have his best friend back (and re call the dumb stuff they used to do) and I'm amazed to learn that he is a different guy now that he is no longer married to my former best friend. Turned out he was married to someone that they went to high school with (an older woman at that...haha. had to through that one in).
We become friends and have started hanging out and talking, etc. Now they are the God parents for our son. I love having this relationship with them and getting to know a different side of the guy I never knew when he was dating/married to my former friend.
Then the former friend finds me on facebook. I added her as a friend this morning, but I am unsure what to say to her. It's not like I have to tell her everything, "Um...I'm now really good friends with your ex and his new wife and they are the God parents of my child........" But I know that this person needs some friends. She burned many bridges during the divorce and I think she is slowly realizing all that she lost.
I know the whole thing about "hate the sin, not the sinner" but I still can't wrap my mind around the circumstances of the divorce. I talked to the "new wife" this morning and told her what I was feeling and she thinks I'm silly for stressing out over it. Maybe I am. I am just trying to figure out how to make the old world work with the new world. I'd like to be friends with my former friend, but right now I am not sure if I could keep my mouth shut and not offer my opinion about her past.
Lord,
Grant me the ability to know what to say and how to say it. Allow me to get over the past. Everyone else has. I was directly affected, and she didn't hurt me, so why am I hung up on it? Allow me to forgive her and open up my life to her again.
Amen.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
I WON!!!
I just got some happy news. Back in October I signed up for Froggy's Free Lunch Friday drawing. My office, Community Corrections, finally won! They are bringing us lunch for all 10 people on Friday. Yeah for me!! Nothing like scoring brownie points with the boss through food! And our name will be on the radio so that's always good!
Extensive Vocabulary
I like to think that while I work with the "troubled" students, that I also work with some highly intelligent students. They are often misunderstood and cannot function in a traditional school setting. This morning I was taught a vocabulary lesson by a new student. Today makes day number 2 in my program for this particular student. Yesterday was fine and dandy. The student was here alone. I also have the student's best friend in my program. They were told that during "working" time they were to work at opposite ends of the room and are not allowed to talk.
So 10:00 rolls around and my aide asks the two to separate and the new student goes into a blind rage. I have never heard such lovely (insert your sarasm here) adjectives to describe my co-worker. The student strung them together like she was writing a descriptive paragraph.
I walked through the house (my program is run out of a converted house) and ask the new student, "What has gotten you so upset?" After listening to the response, I reply, "You were told yesterday that when your friend returned that you two would not be allowed to work next to each other. I need one of you to please move. The friend got up and started to move when the new girl described me in 2 words. I can honestly say that I have never been called these two words (to my face) by anyone, let alone a student. I was caught off guard, but quickly recalled a conversation I had with one of the probation officers shortly after taking this job.
"You'll be called a lot of things, but you have to let it slide off your back. You haven't made it in this career [meaning working with juvenile delinquents] until you have been called a 'F&#$ing B@$#%."
So I guess I have finally "made it" in my career. And all because I asked a student to move.
So 10:00 rolls around and my aide asks the two to separate and the new student goes into a blind rage. I have never heard such lovely (insert your sarasm here) adjectives to describe my co-worker. The student strung them together like she was writing a descriptive paragraph.
I walked through the house (my program is run out of a converted house) and ask the new student, "What has gotten you so upset?" After listening to the response, I reply, "You were told yesterday that when your friend returned that you two would not be allowed to work next to each other. I need one of you to please move. The friend got up and started to move when the new girl described me in 2 words. I can honestly say that I have never been called these two words (to my face) by anyone, let alone a student. I was caught off guard, but quickly recalled a conversation I had with one of the probation officers shortly after taking this job.
"You'll be called a lot of things, but you have to let it slide off your back. You haven't made it in this career [meaning working with juvenile delinquents] until you have been called a 'F&#$ing B@$#%."
So I guess I have finally "made it" in my career. And all because I asked a student to move.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Daring or Stupidity?
I have recently updated all of the "student" computers at work. We have Internet blocking software so that certain sites are not accessible by the students. I just walked into the other classroom (I walked, making noise the whole way) and caught a student on myspace. She didn't even try to hide it. Did she think she was being sly? Like I wouldn't notice? Did she think I wouldn't say anything? Or did she just honestly think she could get away with it? Come on now. I took away her computer privileges for the rest of the week and now I have to figure out why our site blocker software didn't work (my boss set it up.
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