Bank Woes

Awhile back my bank was bought out. Soon after the buy out, all of the original staff was gone (some say they left, some say they were fired). Ever since the take over I haven't been happy.

Two weeks ago, Ayron's paycheck was deposited into the wrong account. After some phone calls, they corrected their mistake. Last week they removed $800 from our checking account without a valid reason. We are in the middle of a debate with them as to why. They say it was automatically deposited twice. I don't see how since it was a paper check (Ayron's last pay check from Taylor Rental) that I physically took to the bank. We have contacted Taylor Rental and they are working their bank to investigate it and they claim no one from their bank called our bank. Our bank swears someone from Taylor Rental called and told them about it. Well, lets think this through. Taylor Rental says no one called. Taylor Rental's bank says it wasn't withdrawn from their account twice. Our bank claims this check was from July 3. Why are they just now getting around to "fixing" this "mistake?"

Ayron is talking with KRUSE attorney today and Taylor Rental is on our side and they feel that money should be given back to us. Needless to say, we are playing it VERY TIGHTLY till this whole thing is figured out.

When Ayron was on the phone with the bank he was a bit grouchy (understandably). The lady said, "If you are going to talk to me like that I will refuse to help you." Hello?? Those phone conversations are recorded and you better believe I will be filing a complaint with the head bank. Ayron caught the lady in so many lies when talking to her it's not even funny.

So we are changing banks. I only wish we would have changed banks after the first incident. Please pray this all works out. We really need that money back to pay off some bills, etc.

I have been a wreck all weekend. Although I am a bit frantic about the whole thing (just sitting her typing about it has my hands shaking) I do have a sense of calm deep down within. I know it is Him asking me to trust Him. I do. I decided this morning I was giving it up to Him and letting His will be done. I still decided blog about it in hopes the blogging would allow me to really pass it all unto Him and pray that it all works out. Please keep us in your prayers. This could get messy, but I hope not.

Photos

I know many of you have facebook pages and many of you have seen this photos before, but I have family who do not have facebook pages and they like to see pictures of T. Monk (Taylor's new gangster name compliments of Auntie Dawn) so here are some links to newly updated photo albums on my facebook page.

Taylor Album II http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=41722&l=065f9&id=790068782

Taylor Album III http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=61631&l=2475e&id=790068782

Fair Pics (there are several of T. Monk) http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=60801&l=a7ea5&id=790068782

Child Stickers

** I know that I thought about blogging about this in the past, but I don't think I actually did. If I did, ignore this post. I will blame the memory relapse on lack of sleep due to a teething 6 month old.

After Taylor was born we decided we were going to put a "Tot Finder" sticker on his bedroom windows. I am paranoid about fire. It scares me. I have all the respect for my brother in law (Phil) and other fire fighters who rush into fires. THANK GOD FOR THEM!

So we decided to ask Phil about where to get a sticker. They don't make them anymore and they recommend you take them off your child's bedroom windows. Wanna know why? Child abductions. The stickers tell those perverts what room to go to. I think it is so sad that our society has gotten so far down the tubes that perverts use fire safety stickers to abduct children. If you have these stickers on your windows, please remove them. Instead, we were told to put reflective stickers on Taylor's bedroom door. One in the middle of the door and three across the bottom of the door.

I know those stickers might clash with your decor, but seriously, I'd rather it clash with my decor (wait, do I even have decor?) than have a firefighter unable to find my child.

I also thought having a fire plan was kind of cheesy, but now being a parent of a child and a dog I realized that I had no clue what we would do if the house caught on fire. I had a horrible dream and woke up one night and made Ayron help me figure out a plan. I get Taylor and the diaper bag, Ayron grabs the leash and Scooter and we meet in the Sheriff's driveway (I live in very safe neighborhood!).

I know it sounds corny, but still, it gave me piece of mind.

Seat Belts

Seat Belts are required in our state. While I don't know the extent of the law, I do know that in the front seat, regardless of vehicle, age, or weight, seat belts are required. I am a personal believer in seat belts. They have saved my life once (way back in fifth grade) and my sister in law's life. That being said.

If you are a police, sheriff, fire fighter, etc and you are in a parade WEAR A SEAT BELT! I get it, you are driving slow, you're not going to wreck. But keep in mind that you are driving slow enough that the kids watching the parade can see you. They can see that the police man isn't wearing a seat belt. What kind of example are you setting? I was appalled at how many police and fire fighters weren't wearing seat belts in the DeKalb County Free Fall Fair parade on Saturday.

Little kids looks up to people in uniform. I don't care if you like it or not, but they usually view people in uniform as heroes (as many of them are!) and they will mimic what their hero's do. SO WEAR A STINKING SEAT BELT!!

Lady Antebellum

Yesterday afternoon I was in no mood for crowds so I wasn't looking forward to going to the fair concert. But I am glad that I went. It was very cool. At first the music was so loud it was shaking my teeth, I kid you not!

I do wish that Kelly could have been there, but oh well. I did take some pictures and videos (on my phone so the quality isn't stellar) for those who couldn't be there (cough..kelly..cough...audrey).

I will say that the back up electric guitarist for Lady A had the coolest set of braids ever! When I saw the band setting up I thought it was a girl with Pocahontas style braids, then the lights came on! Opps. When he got to playing those braids got to swinging!

Ok, so they are pretty poor quality photos, but I used my phone people, what do you expect. Oh, and to the extremly short cowboy wannabe who sat in front of me, YOU HAVE A FREAKISHLY LARGE HEAD FOR SUCH A LITTLE MAN!

Out of Nowhere

I have been looking forward to the concert at the fair tonight for some time now. It was fun to discover a new band that I hadn't heard of before. Heck, I have the lyrics memorized. I think I wore out my cd.

I was sitting at my desk taking a break from grant writing (my favorite thing ever...sarcasm at its finest folks) and surfing the net and all the sudden I didn't want to go tonight. Heck, I still don't. I don't know what brought on this feeling.

Could it be the afternoon sleepies? Nothing happened to trigger this emotion, so where did it come from? I just don't want to go all the sudden. Will I go, yeah. Am I looking forward to my "Baked Tater Boat" from Stan's Icy Delights, you betcha. So what's my deal?

Maybe my 30 minute drive home filled with a loud stereo and rolled down windows will help me feel better. I just feel icky and grouchy and don't really want to be around people. If only I had an elephant ear stand in my backyard.

You can hear the fair from my backyard. Last night I heard them announcing things in the 4-H ring. I wonder if I can just hang out by our fire pit and listen to the band.

Will I go, yes. I just hope my funky attitude is gone by then.

I Caved

Here is our theory on shoes. Why by shoes for a child who doesn't walk or who isn't even attempting to walk?

Based on that theory, we hadn't bought TJ any shoes, until today. I went to Wal-Mart on my lunch break to grab a few things and I thought, "He is having pictures done Sunday, he should have shoes."

Here is his first pair of shoes.

Nothing fancy. No "designer" logo. They are a simple size 3 leather shoe. Heck, he'll fit in them for all of 2 months, so why spend a lot of $$ on them?

HELP!!!

Ok, so Taylor will have his 6th month pictures take this Sunday. Our photographer is an "on site" photographer and our house isn't a very cool place to have pictures taken. So I am asking all of you for suggestions. Where in Auburn or the surrounding area would be a good place with pretty backgrounds for pictures. I would like to do one family shot someplace cool too. Any ideas? Any at all? Really? Now I'm starting to panic....what is he going to wear? What should we wear? Crap, we should get some new clothes on Saturday after the parade......so much to do....I gotta go!

Here is a link to our photographers page. She is the coolest!! http://www.stephanilynnphotography.com/

Communication Skills

I have to wonder how now having free unlimited texting has effected my communication skills. I used to love talking on the phone, now I hate it. I have to do so many phone calls for work that by the time I get home, I usually just put my phone on vibrate and ignore it.

I was raised without a cell phone and I do remember the days before text messaging, but what about the generation of kids that have grown up with a cell phone attached to their hands. Do they have different communication skills than the rest of us?

There are many people I hardly actually talk to on the phone, but I text message all day. It doesn't mean I like them any less, but texting is easier. I can send the message when I have time and I can respond when I have a spare moment. Has my use of texting messed with my verbal communication skills? Personally, I don't think it has, but I do wonder about the younger generations.

Goats

So yesterday was goat judging at the DeKalb County Free Fall Fair. My nieces have joined the goat family this year and we were all excited since summer judging went so well. They show the female dairy goats in the summer (lack of space in the barn) and my middle niece, Madison, took grand champion. My oldest niece, McKenna, took reserve.

Last night they showed their two dairy meat (confusing for you? They are a dairy goat, but since they are males, they will be slaughtered. Before you freak out, do you eat Taco Bell? You eat goat, get over it) goats. In the showman ship judging neither once placed. Not a big surprise since this is their first year with goats.

Tootsie Pop and Herc were in the "Heavy Weight" category of goats (between 95-126 lbs). There were a total of 3 goats, so we thought we had the market cornered. Well, Madison won reserve grand champion!!! Then they bring in all the winning goats and pick a winner from the winners. Madison won reserve again!!

We were all so happy and proud, but my mind went to McKenna. You could tell she was heartbroken. My mother in law and I admitted it was cool to see Madison beat McKenna. McKenna always wins at the rabbits and it was cool to see Madison beaming from ear to ear.

We had to reassure McKenna that she will get better and that Madison did have the bigger goat (126lbs will make a lot of tacos at Taco Bell!). McKenna did bring 4 rabbits to the fair and Madison only brought 1, so her odds of winning over Madison in rabbits is pretty good.

I couldn't have been any prouder of my girls last night!!

Didn't We All Know??

So I was watching the news ticker on Good Morning America this morning as I was putting on my shoes. It seems that Clay Aiken is finally admitting he is gay. I didn't think this was big news? Didn't we all know? Weren't we just waiting for him to figure it out/announce it? Why does it matter? It won't change his singing voice? WHO CARES!?!?! Is this really news ticker worthy news? Is there nothing else going on in the world?

New Theory

I have a new theory. The professional female dancers on "Dancing With The Stars" do not have butt cracks. Ayron and I have been watching the show the past two nights (I can't dance, he wishes I would just try. I keep telling him I have been banned from dancing in 48 states and 3 countries in Europe) and we have been amazed at how low cut (in the back) some of the dresses are. Seriously? Do those ladies not have the same anatomy as the rest of us? Have they had them surgically removed?

Josh Groban

I am a Josh Groban fan. I think his voice is amazing. Last night's Emmy's showed a different side of Josh. It was hysterical to watch. It was like he was on crack! Check it out!

Airing Out Clean Laundry

Our dryer has been broken for some time now. We aren't in any hurry to fix it since the weather has been nice and we (by we I mean me) can utilize our clothes line.

Ayron hates when I hang laundry outside to dry for two reasons: "It's all stiff." "Everyone can see my underwear."

I solved the first complaint and started using fabric softener (I am in love with the scent of Snuggle Ayron brought!).

He is still upset about his underwear being outside. Unless you are in our backyard you aren't going to see our underwear drying. Why is it such a big deal? We all wear underwear and hopefully we all wash them regularly (after ONE wear), so why is it odd to see underwear hanging on a line to dry? It's not like we have odd underwear, so why does it matter?

Finding Balance

I love my job, I truly do. It does have its drawbacks. It is very hard to be in the Criminal Justice field for any length of time and not become jaded.

This morning I arranged to have a student removed from my program (effective 3:30pm today) and taken to court for a placement. While I can't legally go into details, lets just say this isn't a shocker to anyone.

Part of me was relieved when her caseworker finally saw all that I did and agreed with me that we couldn't provide the services needed. I caught myself thinking, "Good, now I don't have to mess with her anymore." I instantly felt guilty.

99.9% of the students I work with just need someone who cares about them and who is willing to vocalize their concern. This is a double edges sword. Sometimes your care and concern blocks you from seeing your inabilities to truly help them.

Knowing that someone will be placed is heartbreaking and stomach wrenching. I know that I will be in court for the decision and I know how the family will react and I know that I will feel guilty. Did we really try everything? Will the family blame me for the judges decision?

After the decision was made this morning I literally became sick to my stomach. I wish I could help this student, but there are so many issues I am not qualified to address.

So how do I find the balance needed to stay in this job? How can I stay "jaded" enough to know when it is beyond my control, yet care enough to show these students that someone does care? The problem comes when the caring becomes so much that placement (even when you know it is the right thing) makes you physically ill. I cannot be ill all the time, but the fact is I do place students and it does hurt, emotionally and mentally.

Can You Say "Redneck?"

Yes, that is a real cow. I'm surprised the guy doesn't have a confederate flag painted on the hood of his car (seriously, those of you who do: GET OVER IT, YOU LOST! MOVE ON!).

Parenting

Ayron and I are parents of a teething almost 6 month old. When everyone asks how we stay "sane" they are amazed when I tell them we split the duties. They tell me I am lucky to have a husband who helps out. This confuses me.

Ayron and I take turns when it comes to nights (if TJ wakes up). Lately it has been rough because he is teething and sick and just plain grouchy and wakes himself up. We always ask for help from each other if we need it. If it is "your" night, you are the one responsibly for getting him up, fed, and dressed in the morning.

We take turns feeding, bathing, diapering, etc. Everyone is amazed that Ayron helps out. They are also shocked when I tell them that I expect his help just like he can expect my help. They are taken aback that I "expect" him to help. Why wouldn't I? Shouldn't the dad want to help? Afterall, he helped create the life, he can help nurture, feed, bathe, diaper, etc.

Is it really an odd thing to have a father who is willing to help take care of an infant? Am I really lucky? Are my expectations too high?

We are both working parents and we both log 35-40 hours a week. Even if I were a stay at home mother (I sometimes wish I could and I acknowledge the difficulty of this job) I would still expect Ayron to help out. I think/know that if/when baby #2 arrives (we are talking about adoption) we are both going to have to pitch in more. Why is it such a shock that Ayron helps me with Taylor? I just don't get it.

Yet Another Gray's Quote

"Seriously?"

I have been doing some "window" shopping on line. Ayron and I are taking Saturday to ourselves and shopping. Taylor needs some new clothes for the upcoming chilly weather and I have discovered two things.

1.) My child is FREAKISHLY LONG! Ok, I knew going into the pregnancy that Taylor wouldn't be a small child, look at his daddy! I didn't think he would be this "tall" already. Ayron didn't shoot up till middle school. TJ is already wearing 12 month (some 18) onesies because he is so long from shoulder to crotch!

2.) People pay a ridiculous amount of money for "baby/infant" clothing. Seriously, why do people pay so much money for something your child is going to:spit on, puke on, pee on, and grow out of. I am all about clearance items and "gently used." So my child may not be wearing the latest season of Carter's clothing line, WHO CARES! HE'S JUST GOING TO DROOL ON IT! He doesn't know any different!

Quote of the Day

"Don't wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don't. In face of what we can lose in a day, in an instant, wonder what the hell it is that make us hold it together." - Gray's Anatomy

I was half awake watching the Gray's rerun last night and I love the things that Meredith's character says. They always make me think.

What holds you together? To be honest, I am not sure I could pin point the one thing that holds me together. I know that mental issues run in my family and for some reason it appears that I am one of the lucky ones who has not had battles with any diseases. I know that my life is still young and the probability is good, but for now I am grateful. But I have to wonder, what does keep me from going crazy at the end of the day.

I think time, or the lack of, is part of what allows me to hold it together. I simply don't have the time for a mental breakdown. I have a son, husband, dog, students, family, employees, church family, friends, etc.

Faith is another "glue" that helps me hold it all together. I don't know how people make it thought the day without a belief in something. I am not going to use this as a soapbox to promote my faith, I am just stating, without a belief in someone higher and an after life, how do you make it through this life? How can someone make it through a day, let alone a lifetime not believing in an afterlife? Wouldn't it be depressing to think "I die and that's it."? It is so much more rewarding and encouraging to think, "One day I will leave these problems behind and walk the streets of gold."

What keeps you from going crazy?

Friday Morning Funny

I have seen this before but it still cracks me up!

Generic Store Brand Items

This picture was sent (via text message) to me from my sister. It cracked me up. Her caption? "I don't know, you tell me!"
Well, if the container says that it is 70% vegetable oil spread and real butter should contain more than 30% dairy product...I'm gonna say this IS NOT butter.

Interview Questions

I am compiling a list of interview questions to use in the future. I decided to search some websites to see if there were any questions I would like to use in my interview tomorrow. Check out the link and then tell me how you would answer #11.

Please read the link before proceeding to the rest of the post.

***************************************************************************************
Nathan's comment made me think too...so what did I do? I googled the question, "Why is there fuzz on a tennis ball?" and go the following answer.

The fuzz, more properly called felt, is usually made of wool treated with various additives to make it last longer and resist staining.

http://tennis.about.com/od/tennisballfaq/f/faqballs019.htm

The tennis ball cover is rough but not like sandpaper. Looking closely at the felt you can see that air flows through those raised fabric filaments - better known as fuzz. So the surface of a tennis ball is a "porous surface." It's more like dealing with the wind blowing through leaves on a tree and just as complicated. The fuzz filaments act like tiny cylinders each having their own drag component. In addition to the skin friction drag from the cover itself, drag is created from the airflow over these fuzz fibers interacting with all the other fibers behind it. Rabi Mehta dubbed this phenomenon "fuzz drag."Experiments Mehta conducted also showed that as the ball speed increases the fuzz filaments lay down on the ball and the fuzz drag declines. Here are two pictures from the wind tunnel test. You can see in the picture on the right that the fuzz is closer to the ball's surface. The air passing over the ball on the left is about 45 mph, while on the ball on the right the air is 135 mph.

http://www.tennisserver.com/set/set_01_10.html

Researcher Rabi Mehta, working with students, discovered that the "fuzz" on a tennis ball created more drag than was previously believed, since each individual fuzz filament contributes to drag. In addition, he found that fuzz drag is particularly interesting since the fuzz filaments can change orientation during play and gradually wear off.

http://www.nasaexplores.com/show2_articlea.php

I am still wondering why you would ask this question in an interview? To test someones ability to formulate an answer on the spot? What other odd questions have YOU been asked during an interview?

Reason #354

I have a joke about a running list of reasons why I do not want my child to attend Eastside High School. This "joke" has lived so long for various reasons. I married and Eastside Grad. My brother in law and I are DeKalb grads while my husband and sister in law are former Blazers. Here are some of my reasons (Please keep in mind this is for fun. My nieces attend Eastside and I really don't have anything against the school, its teachers, or administrators).

1.) A cafetorium....really...seriously.....a cafeteria/gym/auditorium? This one is null and void now that the Millie Hansen Auditorium (and it is very cool) is now built.

2.) Have you ever been to Butler? That is all that needs to be said on that one!

3.) Ayron's driver's ed teacher feel asleep in the car while on the south side of Ft. Wayne....seriously? This man used to be a teacher at the school..."And today's lesson will focus on ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."

4.) All of the crap Ayron and Josh got away with while attending Eastside. Seriously, they have some stories, many they will tell you more than once (I know Kelly is secretly agreeing with me).

I could go on but here is my latest reason.....

While driving through Butler on Saturday I noticed the McDonald's sign. I wish I would have taken a picture with my phone, but alas, I didn't. The sign read: All Drinks 1$. Yeah, I would bet it was an Eastside grad that put that sign up!

When it rains it pours...

or in my case.....when it gets dark, it gets REALLY dark.

Yesterday I had 5 light bulbs burn out at home and one at work. Do you think I have any replacement bulbs? NOPE!

It reminds me of the one day this summer when all of the smoke detectors at work decided to have low batteries. They were all beeping their annoying, yet life saving, warning tones at different times driving me nuts. I kept running from room to room waiting to hear a beep, only to hear it come from the other end of my office. It took me all day to figure out that all of the batteries needed replaced!

Perfect Prayer?

Last night was a rough night. Taylor has been easily sleeping from 9:30pm till 7:30am for a month now. Last night, that didn't happen. We fed him carrots for dinner and 10:15, anything he had eaten all day came flying out of his mouth and down my back and all over his pink carpet (yes he has pink carpet..big deal...he doesn't realize it). Ayron and I were up with him all night. He would fall asleep in our arms and as soon as his head would hit anything other than our chests, he would wake up screaming. I have never heard him scream like he did last night. Ayron and I took turns holding him and we each got very little sleep. I took the 4am-6am shift and while I was lying awake watching the red and blue lights dance around our living room (a police officer pulled someone over in front of our house) I started to pray.

I am not an eloquent prayer by any means. I don't think He expects us to be. Do I wish I could be the one with the confidence to say prayer before a big family meal? Yes, but I don't. I stumble, I repeat, I just plain sound silly.

So as I was praying for patience (for myself and Ayron), motherly wisdom, and wellness I found myself repeating things in my head before I "spoke" them. I was trying to "write" the perfect prayer in my head before I whispered the words. I had to laugh at myself. He knows my thoughts! He knew that I was thinking the same things over and over before vocalizing them. Why was I stressing out about making my words sound pretty. All He cares about is the fact that I brought my concerns to Him.

I think my yearning to be a "perfect prayer" has inhibited my prayer life. I will be the first to admit that I don't have a prayer schedule. I pray at the silliest times and the oddest places. I have prayed at the top of the Alps, I have prayed in the depths of the Grand Canyon (for energy to make the hike back up to the top!). I usually pray in the car. So why do I stress myself out over being an eloquent prayer. He knows my needs and He knows my heart. Maybe it is time to pick back up with my praying through drawing.

Feeling Old

So today I am feeling old. Maybe it's due to lack of sleep. I was up sick all night (insert side blog here).
How come when a woman of childbearing age is sick and vomiting everyone asks her if she
is pregnant? Come on people, I just had a child. Let me get TJ potty trained before we
even attempt a second child. Between TJ, Scooter and Ayron I have my hands full.

Back to my point...I woke up and today I feel old. Here is why I feel old today.

1.) My youngest niece turns 5 at 9:30am. I remember the day she was born. My mom was actually in on the c-section. I remember holding her for the first time and how small and quiet she was. That is no longer. She has the wise cracking mouth of a trucker! She is hysterical and will always crack me up.

2.) My oldest niece just turned 12. Next year she will be a teenager! I don't think I am ready for that. She is already calculating that when she is 16, Taylor will be 4 and she will take him to football games and show him off....slow down sister, lets get through 13, 14, and 15 first! She has outgrown the High School Musical stage and I no longer know what to get her. Her present? A day of shopping with us (She likes to hang out with us, but she LOVES to hang out with TJ) in Ft. Wayne. Heck, she would be happy if we handed her TJ for a day!

3.) My husband turned 27 on Sunday. 27...I can't imagine turning 27. Ok, just kidding. I like to tease him because he is older.

4.) I have a husband. That fact alone makes me feel old. I got married young, and don't get me wrong I do not regret it. But I never thought I would get married. If you ask any of my high school friends I had decided to become a Bavarian nun and run around and sing like in The Sound of Music. I could SO pull of the dress made out of curtain look!

5.) I have a child. I am responsible for another human being. The big Man upstairs thought I was responsible enough to care for another life!

6.) My taste in music makes my students laugh. I usually play music during our breaks as a way to break up the boredom and create discussion. I recently put in a cd that came with my senior year book and the kids were laughing and calling the music "old." OLD? I graduated high school in 2001...then again, that was 7 years ago.

7.) I find myself saying, "Remember when..." like I am an old lady in a nursing home talking to my imaginary friend. Remember when we rushed inside from playing on Friday nights to catch Full House. Remember when we could play kickball in the cul-de-sac all evening.

8.) I see former students in court. While that is not always a pleasant occasion, I have seen two former students in court.

9.) Friends siblings are starting college this year. I remember when LW (if you are his older sibling you'll know who/what I am talking about) was a baby and we used to get in trouble because the walkie talkies interfered with the baby monitors.

Yeah, the more I write, the older I feel. I'm done writing!

*********************************************
From an email from LW's older brother....

"I've got another one you can add to your list - getting sick after 1 ride on the Gravitron. Christy and I went to the fair last week and decided to ride some rides. First thing we got on was the gravitron - which was my favorite ride in Auburn at the fair. I used to ride it 10 times a day on wristband nights. After one ride, I was feeling pretty green. That made me feel really old."

4 please

This afternoon I dove into my mini fridge to discover that I left my lunch sitting on the counter at home. Bummer. I thought I could last all day with no lunch, but alas, George (that is what my stomach is named) made his anger known, so I headed to Burger King.

I ordered my sandwich and then decided to treat my students and employee with a piece of pie. I politely asked the lady if I could add 4 pieces of the Hershey Sundae pie to my order. She looked at me like I was crazy. Then it hit me, she thought I was going to eat all 4 pieces myself! I suddenly felt the need to justify my purchase, "I have some hungry co-workers." That seemed to change her attitude and she was more than willing to recalculate my order. I chuckled to myself on my way back to work. We all sat and ate our pie together (this is the closest thing these kids get to a family meal where everyone sits down at once) and chat. I couldn't even eat half of my piece. The pie was so rich. No wonder the lady looked at me funny when she thought I was going to eat all 4 pieces myself.

I am now patiently waiting for my sugar buzz to kick in!

No One Is Perfect

**This is not intended to start a political debate about what side is better. I am not the type of talk politics and frankly I can't wait till the elections are over!

McCain chose his running mate, Sarah Palin. That has been all over the news all weekend. Being in politics your life is scrutinized. Every detail from your schooling down to what ply of toilet paper you use (ok, so maybe not that drastic). I am getting fet up with the media. Before I start my rant, I will say that I do not know much about Palin or her family, that being said...

I heard the media glamorize Palin because while pregnant with her 5th child she and her husband learned their son would be down syndrome and they chose not to abort. Good for them. The media made them appear as to be godlike because they choose life. How many other couples who learn the same news get praised for their decision to carry the pregnancy full term and raise their child? Heck, they thought I was going to be down syndrome and they choose to keep me. Does that mean my parents should get a medal and standing ovation? How about the couple that knows their child will have Tae Sacks disease but decides to go ahead with the pregnancy and care for that child no matter what the problems? No one does a news story about the struggles they will face. Yes, I am grateful that they chose life and that child is lucky. He was born into a family that has the financial and emotional means to properly care for him.

This morning I heard that Palin is being criticized because her 17 year old daughter is pregnant by her 18 year old boyfriend. Ok, so I am not going to promote out of wedlock pregnancy but I do acknowledge that Palin was probably not in the bedroom prompting her daughter to have premarital sex. Point is, we can instill our values in our children and we can try our hardest to lead them down the path we feel is best, but we all have free will. We all make mistakes. How can we judge someone because a family member has made a decision we feel is wrong? If that were the case, I would have been damned a long time ago. We all would have!

Case and point....NO ONE IS PERFECT! How can be judge each other by acts committed by other people?

Don't Wanna Work

After going through my usual Monday morning routine at work this morning (yes I know it's a Tuesday, but yesterday was a holiday) I decided to cruise facebook to see what was new. I was surprised how many statuses (is that the correct pluralization??) mentioned not wanting to go to work.

Do THAT many people dislike their job? If you truly dislike your job, why do you still work there? How does your attitude about going to work effect your performance at work?

I'll admit, I have my days when I would rather stay at home, but it's not because I don't like my job. I love my job. I know it is difficult and I know that I have complained in the past, but I will admit that I have a cool job! I am basically my own boss and the principal of my own school which I help create. I get to met some very interesting students and while many of them are misunderstood and troublemakers, they are just seeking someone to connect with. I get to hear so many interesting stories and learn so many things from these kids (lets just say that TJ will not be able to get away with anything when he grows up!) On the days I want to stay home it is to be with TJ or Ayron or heck, even just chill with Scooter!

I hope I never get to the point that I dread getting up and going to work. That would be a shame.

I wonder...

...how many grapes you would have to eat to balance yourself out if you ate the statue?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0bQh2ipARI

Going Green

We are slowly going green at our house. Over the summer we have done 4 "green" projects. While they may not seem like much, I like to think that we are trying to put forth an effort.

We have started to fix some repairs in our bathroom and while the finishing touches are going slow, we will be piling in 3 times the insulation that was in the wall. We also found and fixed the leak and thus our water bill is lower (a plus!).

We have also stopped using our dryer (although we were forced to since it has recently grown a mind of its own and won't properly work). Everything gets hung up in the clothes line. While Ayron is embarrassed to see his underoos flapping in the wind I say, "We all wear underwear [I hope] so why is it a big deal to see it out flying in the wind?"

We recently decided to put in a fire pit. Instead of buying new bricks (call me thrifty) we dug up an old "patio" and used those bricks to ring our pit. So maybe that was an effort to be more thrifty on my part, but it turned into a green project! We recycled didn't we?

Yesterday we started our landscaping project. Well, we started it a long time ago when we had to replace our waterline, but that is a past post. We started placing mulch around our trees and up by our house (where the bushes used to be before we tore into the yard). Instead of buying mulch (that can be expensive) we went to the county compost pile and brought home a large trailer full for.....FREE!!! Once again, the thriftiness on my part could be to blame, but why not used a recycled tree for free?

Do Feed the Monkey!

Last night we bought a high chair and I used my master abilities to assemble the chair. I began to think that I should have been an engineer...yeah, that wouldn't have ever happened.




We decided that we might as well break in the chair with Taylor's first cereal feeding. In his bed time bottle we mix in some rice cereal but he's never really had any off of a spoon. As you can see by the pictures I didn't use a bib. Some might call me stupid but he ate all of the cereal and never got any on his clothes!!

He loves to sit in his new high chair!

Ayron was trying to get him to laugh so I would be sprayed with cereal spit. Didn't work!

Open wide!!

As a reward I let him play with two spoons once he was done. TJ will be a drummer!

Since the dog patiently waited underneath the high chair for something to drop (nothing ever did) we decided to let him lick out the bowl.

It's a Cow!!

Let Me Fall

It's October again
Leaves are comin' down
One more year's come and gone
And nothing's changed at all
Wasn't I supposed to be someone
Who can face the things that I've been runnin' from

Let me feel I don't care if I break down
Let me fall
Even if I hit the ground
And if I
Cry a little
Die a little
At least I know I lived
Just a little

I become much too good
At being invincible
I'm an expert
At play at safe and keep it cool
But I swear
This isn't who I meant to be
I refuse to let my life Roll all over me

Let me feel
I don't care if I break down
Let me fall E
ven if I hit the ground
And if I
Cry a little
Die a little
At least I know I lived
Just a little

I wanna be somebody I,
I wanna be somebody
I wanna be somebody I,
I wanna be
Somebody
Who can face the things that I've been
Runnin' from

Let me feel
I don't care if I break down
Let me fall
Even if I hit the ground
And if I
Cry a little
Die a little
At least I know I lived... I

t's October again Leaves are comin' down
One more year's come and gone
And nothing's changed at all...

Ever Wonder

Do you ever wonder how you got where you are? I find myself trying to figure that out lately. How does someone with an education degree become a home detention employee? How did my days becoming a battle to stay sane while dealing with stupid people? What did I do to "deserve" the threatening voicemails from a former student's parent? Who put the sign on my back that says, "Ask me stupid questions, I love it!"?

I also wonder how my students got where they are. In the past month I have ran into or reconnected with several students from my student teaching days (ahh, public school memories.) How did one end up in handcuffs in court? How did they grow up enough to get married? How/why did they trash everything that has been handed to them and end up in court for minor consumption? What allowed some to succeed while others failed?

Just another evening at our house

I took the video with my phone so that is why it is grainy and sideways. Taylor is actually cracking up laughing. It sounds like he is crying, but trust me he was having a blast. We can never get him on film laughing. Once we pull out the camera he just stops so this was a rare occasion.

I Respect You!!

To all of you adminstrative assistants, I offer you my respect!

This past week our administrative assistant has been on a well deserved vacation. I have been filling in for her and let me tell you, this is not an easy task. Let me explain. In the summer I split my time between my comfy house office for the Youth Improvement Program (the program is run out of a semi-converted house) and the Community Corrections office. I know just enough about Home Detention to be mainly useful. I am not skilled at the multi-line telephone system. I am very proud that so far this week I haven't hung up on person nor have I accidentally pushed the panic button (you should have seen what happened when I accidentally hit it last time!). We currently have over 45 people on Home Detention and Thursday and Fridays are appointment days. I am answering the phone and since I sound like our administrative assistant people don't bother to tell me who they are, they just assume I know who they are!

So to all of you administrative assistants who not only keep us co-workers organized but everyone else who may come into the office, my hat is off to you!

Summer So Far

Here is a link to some pictures from this summer. The last couple shots are of Ayron's ankle injury from softball on Monday night. FYI, it's not broken just badly sprained.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=49634&l=568ec&id=790068782

Maybe we are related after all

I stole this from my sister's blog

Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

So, me being full of quick wit (can you sense my sarcasm here?) called Natty up today and said "we have a lot of seagulls her in Angola so are they called 'angulls' (meaning it to sound like angles"? To which she replied, "Are they obtuse or acute?"

Dang, she wins the quick wit contest again. Guess that's why she is the OLD, oh I mean older sister.

Sleeping Scooter

As if him sleeping with his eyes open isn't creepy enough, he insisted on stealing my pillow and drooling on it!

My Husband...

is as graceful as an elephant tripping over a toothpick. That is how I would describe last nights softball game. Before I begin my tale, let me fill you in on some details.

1.) My husband usually hurts himself MAJORLY at least once a year. We thought it odd we passed the one year mark this year without any major injuries.

2.) Ayron was the pitcher for New Hope's church league softball team. We play for fun. We didn't win a game this season but we always had fun.

So last night was no exception to rule #2. We were behind by A LOT and Ayron knew it was going to be the last out of the game and season so he went for it. I didn't actually see him running from 3rd to home, but I did managed to catch a glimpse of him tripping over a hole by home plate (the other team was digging it for when they batted), tucking, and rolling.

IMMEDIATELY his ankle started to swell. We got him home and in the shower (he rolled in the dust) and called our doctor (other's don't like him, but he always answers when we page him). He told Ayron to wrap it, ice it, and keep it elevated. I managed to get him and Taylor to bed around 11pm. At midnight Ayron decided he wasn't comfortable so I helped him hop to the living room and I got him situated on the couch. I checked on Taylor and crawled back into the bed (I'll admit I was thrilled to have the WHOLE bed to myself). Apparently right after I fell asleep Ayron decided he needed to go to the restroom. Instead of calling my name and waking me up, the giant (If you haven't met my husband, he is ever bit of 6'9" and 340lbs) decided to crawl to the bathroom. This would have worked had he not gotten a cramp. He won't tell me how long he laid on the bathroom floor.

This morning he wouldn't let me help him to the bathroom so Taylor and I watched Daddy crawl to the bathroom and Taylor found this hilarious!

I had to call my mom to come babysit Ayron and Taylor today while I am at work. He goes to see the doctor and get x-rays at 1:15. At least he still has insurance!!

I'm in the news!!

Apparently I am running for president....check out the link my sister sent me. http://www.news3online.com/index.php?code=401lZS7Wyr25E89S39VG

Moving On

Changes are in store for Ayron and I. In two weeks Ayron will no longer be employed by Taylor Rental. Ayron has accepted a marketing position at KRUSE. This is exciting for several reasons. I will finally have my husband back! He currently leaves for work at 7am and I am lucky if he is home by 6pm. With this new job he will work 8-5 and only Monday thru Friday!

In the 7 1/2 years we have been together Ayron has never had a job where he has only worked Monday thru Friday. I will have my husband on weekends. It could be interesting. This job provides the same pay, better hours, and will give me a happier husband!!

I Want to Ride My Bicycle...

I want to ride my bike. Yesterday Ayron and I purchased bikes. I have been with Ayron for 7 1/2 years and I have never seen him ride a bike. It was funny to watch him try to ride different bikes in the store.

We went to Summit City Bicycles first and YIKES! I knew that bikes could be expensive, but I saw a bike for over 7k. Ok, now if you are like friends of ours and bike EVERYWHERE and are using a bike to replace a car, then I guess I understand. For a bike that expensive, do you get a bike loan like a car loan? Do they have bike insurance? I am not trying to be funny, I am really curious.

We ended up getting Schwinn's from Wal-Mart. Now we just have to get a seat for Monkey. I don't know how young of a child you can put in one of those seats. I know with the pull behind trailers they say a year. Next step, helmets.

My Bike. Ignore the messy garage in the background.

Ayron's Bike.

Left and Right

I understand that the left hand needs to know what the right hand is doing, but the left hand cannot always HOLD the right hand. The hands need to be able to do their own thing and acomplish tasks and goals. The clasping together of hands does not allow this to happen. When will the left hand learn this?

Bad Idea # 43756

Ayron has a high school friend that we have recently (well, I guess it's been two years..wow, how time flies) reconnected with. Ayron and Josh (yes, all of you New Hopers know them) have done some pretty stupid things in their time. Lets see if I can accurately remember some of their stories (which they tell ALL THE TIME!) Kelly, if I get these wrong, feel free to correct them!

1.) Ayron used to hold Josh by his ankles on top of the lift to hang lights in the old cafetorium at Eastside.

2.) Josh tried to drive through a puddle and flooded out his car.

3.) They would tell their parents they were spending the night at each others house and then drive around all night.

4.) "Remember the (insert a type of car here) and the night we (insert something stupid that high school boys would do here)."

5.) "Remember when the driver's ed teacher fell asleep and we drove the whole way from Ft. Wayne without him waking up."

6.) They would drive down the road and pass each other on the right.

7.) They would drive down back roads and open up the car doors and then kick out all of the garbage that was calling the floorboards home.

As you can tell, there is a theme to their friendship, automotive stupidity. Well, this theme lives on. Saturday we went to the Noble County Fair together (Josh, Kelly, Ayron, and myself). The boys now want to be derby drivers. I have talked Ayron out of wanting to drive with the old, "Honey, you are too tall. You would get hit and then stuck and they'd have to use the jaws of life to get you out." He is happy now with the idea of being Josh's "pit crew." There are two possible cars the boys could use so it looks like next year they could be in the derby.

Here are some pictures from the derby!

Kudo's to County Line Church of God

While driving to Wal-Mart Sunday morning I saw a plethora of bright orange shirts scattered about town.

Instead of church on Sunday, County Line Church of God decided to do an outreach service. They were at stop lights and four way stops handing out bottled water. They also were doing a free car wash at Westedge Shopping Center (if that's what you call it). At the gas stations they were giving away $5 in gas.

Many people gave them funny looks and couldn't figure out why they were handing out free water. It's sad that people were skeptical of a church out doing nice things. Kudos to you County Line.

I'm Addicted

So I have a new addiction. I am hooked on Wii Fit! We bought one from ebay and while we paid a bit more that I would have liked, I am loving it!!

I "played" for an hour last night and when I woke up this morning my legs were so sore, but in a good way! I can't wait to get home and do my running. Yes, you can run with the Wii Fit. You hold the remote in your hand and run in place and it's actually really cool. I managed to get Ayron to run with me two nights ago. I'm sure we looked goofy to people driving by our house but oh well!

I can't wait to get home and work on some more strength activities!! It's a great way to get off your butt and play a video game while still burning calories!!

Things I Find Odd

Health care professionals (doctors, nurses, EMT's) who walk across the street to stand in the bank parking lot and smoke. You'll help save our lives, but you are slowly killing yourself.



People who won't eat eggs because they come out of a chicken's butt, however they don't hesitate to order a chicken sandwich. Hello?! Where do you think that chicken came from?



People who order the fattiest thing on the menu and a DIET Coke. Hello? The coke won't balance out the fact that you are eating a Big Mac, large fries, apple pie, and an ice cream cone.




Hair dressers who don't style their hair before going to work. Aren't you showing off your ability to do hair by styling your own?




How fake "reality tv" is. In the real world, camera's don't follow you around 24/7 and you're not edited by producers who know what the audience wants to see.


Police officer's who do not wear seat belts in the parades. You are driving slow enough that the public can see you and can see you are breaking the law. Little kids can see you and you are influential, so BUCKLE UP!

More Changes

It seems that big changes could in in store for Ayron and I and while I am nervous, I couldn't be more excited. The unexpected happened and right now I can't share more than that. I ask that you keep us in your prayers over the next week. I truly feel He is behind these changes and I am trying to pray for His will to be done, not mine. Oh, but it would be so sweet if His will matches my wants!

Tater Monkey

Here are some new shots of the monkey. He has several different names depending on who you ask. I call him monkey, Ayron calls him Tater, our niece calls him "Tate." Guess we'll just have to wait till he can talk and decide which name he wants.







Ayron sent me this video this morning. Taylor will talk up a storm, but the instant you pull out a camera he stops talking.

There's nothing better than chillin in your bouncy seat in nothing but your diaper and sunglasses.

Falling asleep in his exersaucer.

Wearing his overalls. My niece calls them "alcohols." Then again, she found jelly beans when cleaning her room and exclaimed, "I found Jim Beams." Yeah, we're gonna have to watch her.

Leap of Faith

Well, He didn't send a bird (see yesterday's post) but I think I got my answer.

Footprints In The Sand

You walked with me
Footprints in the sand
And helped me understand
Where I’m going
You walked with me
When I was all alone
With so much unknown
Along the way
Then I heard you say

Chorus
I promise you
I’m always there
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair
I’ll carry you
When you need a frien
dYou’ll find my footprints in the sand

I see my life
Flash across the sky
So many times have I
Been so afraid
And just when I thought
I’d lost my way
You gave me strength to carry on

That’s when I heard you say

Chorus

When I’m weary
I know you’ll be there
And I can feel you
When you say

Chorus x 2

Changes

There are some possible major changes in our future. I can't elaborate more than that, but that being said I am still unsure about these changes.

I am a creature of habit and this could be a huge change. Don't get me wrong, it will defiantly be for the better but I am still unsure if this is the move (no we aren't moving, just changing the direction in our lives) God wants us to make. We have done our research and talked to several people. We have gathered the facts and Ayron is ready, but I am still dragging my feet. I don't know if Ayron knows how much I am dragging my feet. He knows I am hesitant and a great mentor told Ayron, "If she is not 100% on board, you need to wait." I want to be 100% on board because if this is meant to be it will be GREAT!

I have been praying about it and asking for wisdom, guidance, a sign, something from God. I need some reassurance but I am not sure if I am understanding or even seeing God's message to me. I keep going back to a sermon some time ago given my Pastor Stein. I am waiting for my eagle. I like things to be obvious. I want God to use the clouds to write my answer. Or have me read a billboard that says, "YES! I want you to make this move and I will make it possible." But I know that He can be subtle. So how do I know if it is Him or me just wanting it to be Him?"

I asked someone that once and they told me to "just keep praying, it will become clear." But I just keep wondering, "God was that you? Did I miss my cue?" I just want my obvious eagle. I keep looking out my office window and hoping to see an eagle sitting in the tree across the street. All I see are homing pigeons on the fence (don't ask). Yesterday morning I hit a robin on the way to work. Was that my sign? I don't think God would send my sign smashing into the hood of my car at 60 mph. Or was that His way of telling me that this move could crash and burn. Grrr. It is so frustrating.

People have been coming up to Ayron and telling him, "I have been thinking about you lately. God has placed you on my heart. Is there anything going on you want me to pray about?" That happened again last night at softball. How come everyone else has these feelings but I am still looking at the sky praying for a bird?

Lord, help me to be patient. Help me discern your wants for us and put aside my desires. Help me to see your vision for our lives and to support Ayron during this change. May Your will be done, not ours. Please allow us to make this decision using our knowledge and faith in You. May you make me open and calm so that I can see Your plan for us. You know that I like the obvious but make me able to see the subtleties from You as well. Amen.

Lesson Learned

About a month ago Ayron and I switched cell phone providers and each got brand new Envy phones. They are great phones. I hadn't found a case that I liked so I hadn't removed the protective coating from my phone. I was being so careful not to scratch it or drop it.

The saleswoman told us that our phones were waterproof up to 30 feet. What she forgot to tell us that they are not laundry soap resistant or a fan of the spin cycle.

Yes folks, I managed to wash my phone. In my 8 years of cell phone usage, I had never hurt a phone. That all went down the drain (or should I say washer) this weekend. I had left my phone in my pants pocket and forgot to check the pockets of my pants before throwing them in the washer. I drowned my phone! Thank goodness for phone insurance though. They no long make Envy's so I now own an Envy 2.

While I have found a case I like, I still have yet to remove the protective stickers from my new phone. Maybe I'll be brave and do it tonight!

ps: the protective stickers on my own phone stayed on, even after the spin cycle in the washer.

Court

I now have the honor of being my office representative in court on Mondays. Yeah me (can you sense my sarcasm here?). It is interesting to listen to the cases and laugh at the stupidity of some of these people.

I had a person this morning convicted of jacklighting (spotlighting a deer from his truck while in possession of a gun). When the judge asked him if he had any questions, the offender simply asked, "When do I get my muzzle loader back?"

It also amazes me how many people fail to show up, even for pre-trial hearings. For pre-trial, you walk in, are told your official court date, and you leave. Why not show up for that? That is the easy part! Instead of showing up, they decide to skip and then are amazed when they are picked up with a warrant for contempt of court. Duh!

The attire of the people cracks me up too. The inmates coming from jail have no choice. They wear their lovely bright orange jump suits and their matching bracelets and anklets that come with a beautiful pad lock. But I saw a man come before the judge in a wife beater tank top (come to think of it, he was there for domestic battery...hmmm), cut off blue jean shorts, and flip flops. Come on now! At least put on a real shirt!

It's also amazing the things I get called in court. I had some woman call me a b*&$% because I had a cell phone. If you come in the front door, you are not allowed to have a cell phone. Being a county employee I use the employee entrance and am allowed to carry my phones. I use it to text message with my office about cases and to answer questions. I calmly turned around and flashed her my badge. She just growled at me. Growled. How mature is that. I just laughed at her. My co-worker was with me that day and he loudly muttered, "Maybe one day if and when you grow up you can work for the county and bring your cell phone into the courtroom too." Cracked me up. Apparently the woman's facial expressions cracked up the probation officer and the woman so kindly moved to the other side of the courtroom.

Like usual it is 1:20 and court has yet to begin. We were scheduled to start at 1 so I promptly arrived at 12:50...you think I would learn, nothing is ever done on time around here. So here I sit, in the third floor of the court house mindlessly looking at the four inmates in their lovely jumpsuits wishing I hadn't eaten Taco Bell for lunch.

My Lazy Boys

Mom and I were in the kitchen and it suddenly got really quiet in the living room. I discovered this.

Can't get enough Tater

You haven't lived until you've sat on a goat! This isn't our goat. Baby Food (her registered name is JoJo) was still a bit skiddish from her move to Indiana when Ayron took this picture)

The beginning of his potty face. It's hysterical. I need to get in on video!

Better late than never

Here is a video clip I took with my phone at the Indy 500. I am playing around with my phone and learning how to send the video's to myself. I am seeing many more video and picture posts in your future!

Milk and Cookies

The other night I was baking homemade chocolate chip cookies and filling bottles. I took these two pictures and texted my sister with the caption "Milk and Cookies."

Helping With Laundry

Three Years

I can't believe that Wednesday will make 3 years! We have been through so much together and now we are parents!

Avoding 8 and 1

Twas the weekend for accidents in the Reeves family. On Saturday afternoon my mother in law was driving my niece home. At the intersection of State Road 8 and State Road 1, a car pulled out in front of my mother in law and headed right at her. My mother in law barely had time to think about moving her foot to the brake. After hitting the person, my mother in law realized it was as older lady. The older lady got out of her car and told JoEllen, "I can't stay, I'll be late for church." She proceeded to get into her beaten up car (my mother in law drives a new Ford Explorer) and took off. They got her plate number and called the police. They found her driving her smushed car around Butler. The Explorer is ok, she just needs some minor repairs. I just cracked up when they told me that the other person left the scene because she didn't want to be late to church. I think that God would forgive that tardy, but that's just my thought.

The more I thought about it, it hit me. 3 years ago, at that same intersection we had a horrible accident. My brother in law and his family (wife and three girls) were driving home in their Durango when a box truck pulled out in front of them. Phil tried to break, but the road was slippery because it had just rained. He knew that if he hit the box truck head on, they would slide under the truck and basically rip the top of the Durango off and possibly decapitate himself. He made the conscious effort to aim the suv for the wheels and thankfully everyone was ok. They were shaken and bruised, but nothing huge. I think I will avoid that intersection for awhile.

Why Do I?

Why do I let things go unsaid?
Why do I avoid confrontation?
Why do I bottle it all in until I explode?
Why do I even care what someone thinks?
Why do I avoid painful situations?
Why do I turn a blind eye/ear?
Why do I avoid the easy way?
Why do I expect these wounds to heal?
Why do I open myself up when I know disappointment will happen?
Why do I scream in my head but put a smile on my face?
Why do I lie about my feelings?

I don't say what's on my mind because I am afraid of the pain it will cause to not only myself but the individual I am talking with.

I avoid confrontation to avoid heartache and bad endings.

I keep it all in to prevent others from knowing that I am weak.

I care what someone thinks because I am longing to be accepted.

I avoid painful situations to avoid seeing tears.

I turn a blind eye/ear so that I don't accidently offer my opinion.

I avoid the easy way because I don't feel I deserve it.

I expect wounds to heal because I want to forget the past.

I open myself up because I long for that personal connection that used to exsist.

I quietly scream so as to not disrupt the calm.

I lie to keep the truth hidden.

Struggling Economy

It's no surprise or shock to hear that our economy sucks (can't really think of a better word). I was watching the news this morning and learned that even the Red Cross "Disaster Relief" organization has run out of money. They ran out! There is no money left to help the Iowa flood victims.

We have family that is dealing with the flooding and it looks like they will be one of the lucky families who only has water in their basement. They have power and she is able to work from home (ironically enough she works for the power company). They didn't have to evacuate but several of their family friends did.

Here comes my soap box...get ready for it....

We have a large group of people who need financial help. Their houses have been destroyed, crops ruined, lives erased. The Red Cross is trying, but without money, they can't be much help. Everyone says, "I wish I could help but...." What I find ridiculous are the political promises to help victims that never come true. How many millions of dollars have been spent so far on political campaigns? I think I read some place that Clinton and Obama raised at least $25 million a piece. Wouldn't that money be better spent helping fellow Americans instead of signs, t-shirts, and arena fees? Wouldn't the press be better? Look at the politician who is not afraid to put on grubby clothes and sandbag with the "regular" folk. I think I would be more apt to vote for someone who I could actually see working and physically trying to help instead of someone who is dressed in a suit promising to help. Put your money where your mouth is and spend some of that campaign money to help your fellow man.

Ok, putting the soapbox back in the closet, at least for now.

Torn

"Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities." - Aldous Huxley

************************************************************************************

I am torn. I want to be in a public school so badly I can taste it. Then I have a night like Saturday night and I don't want to leave my current job.

Saturday night we had an office party at a co-workers house. Spouses were invited and a good time was had by all. I have the best co-workers. We played euchre and I managed to make my boss ice skate on the Wii. In what other office can you have a ping pong tournament while drinking and smoking? (I didn't smoke so no soap box lectures please). It was great to hang out withe everyone and we get along so well.

Sure, if I were to leave there are some things that I wouldn't miss but I am afraid that I am becoming jaded and that cannot be good for my future students. My students need understanding and a clean slate and while I think I can still offer that, I know that in the back of my mind I have preconceived notions that do not need to be there.

I have always thought that I knew what my dream job would be. I student taught at a particular school and applied for a position there once without so much as a call back. Then I found out that my dream position could be open again. I waited and waited for it to be posted, but I never saw it. I found out yesterday that a friend of mine (actually my nieces aunt from the other side of the family) got the job. At first I was bummed. That was "my" job. She knew how much I wanted to get in there, how dare she? That quickly passed and I am happy for her but I can't help but wonder, "What about me?"

So in order to be happy do I stick it out here another year or do I actively pursue a public school job? I have invested so much in this program that to leave, even on good terms, will break my heart. Who will love these students? Then I realize that if I am in a public school maybe I can make a difference in their lives before they get to their breaking point.

Some may say that I am crazy. Teachers who have been in the schools for years are probably waiting for my eagerness and hope to die. To those types of teachers I ask, "Why did you go into teaching? Do you even remember?" I want to see each student succeed. Unfortunately where I am at now most of my students have been trampled on by the public school system and have lost hope. I want to restore that hope.

I know that my eagle is out there somewhere (referencing a previous sermon from NewHope.in) but I am not seeing it. I keep praying and asking but at times I find myself whining to Him like an impatient child. I know that He will lead me, but I have always had a problem with being blindly led. I know that He is not blind, but at this point I am. Maybe I am not looking at the situation correctly. Maybe I am missing His subtle hints because I am busy looking for a giant billboard with directions for me to follow. Maybe that pigeon in my office window is my "eagle." Then again, maybe it's just a pigeon from the homing pigeon people who live across the street from my office.

Lord help me to realize what You want for me. Help me to be still and patient and to wait for Your guidance. I am wiling and waiting but still unsure. Help my doubt to be erased and my confidence restored. Guide me where You want me to be and not where I think I should be.

My Crazy Life

Here is a link to my sisters blog. Yesterday I sent her a video of what was happening at my house. She then turned it into a blog. I'll admit that 98% of the time it's annoying, but lack of sleep made it hysterical yesterday. I had never seen Scooter throw his head back like that before.

http://opme.blogspot.com/2008/06/hound-dog-cry.html

Picturepaloza

I added some new pictures of the Tater Monkey.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=41722&l=065f9&id=790068782

Heartbreak

Yesterday I felt my heart ache. It is an odd feeling coupled with frustration and anger. I have had one particular student for the past two school years due to poor attendance at the public schools. We had our go arounds this year and I even had the student arrested for truancy but through it all they trusted me and I thought we had made some progress. I was wrong.

I got a call from one of my staff members yesterday asking me if I had heard the news. The students home (they were renting) had caught fire. After further investigation, the police figured out that the fire started because the family was cooking meth. Parents, another family member, and my former student were arrested.

This student has been in and out of placement and foster care since they were young and it looks like the cycle will continue. I fear for them. I wonder if they will ever learn. I am mad at the parents for putting the child in that situation. Then part of me knows the student willingly participated. We gave the student so many chances to blow the whistle and save themselves, yet they never did. I am frustrated because I feel like I failed. I thought something was going on and I had been working with the counselor as well as probation but we never had enough legal evidence to do anything.

Part of me wants to plead with the judge to let me take the student home to live with us. Change of environment and schools is what this person needs. They need parents who don't enable their behavior. Parents who truly care. The other part of me knows they need help beyond what I am capable of giving.

It is situations like this that make me hate my job. Then again, I realize that I did do all I could do and now it is out of my hands. I just wish I could save them all. With 90% of the juveniles I work with, a change of their home environment would do them wonders. I wish I was able to have them all come live with me and show them what a truly loving family feels like...but I know that is not possible.

Please pray for this family. They have some serious issues and I am guessing my opinion might be asked when it comes to what will be done with the juvenile. I honestly don't know what I would say at this point.

Am I the only one...

First read this article sent to me by my aunt.

CINCINNATI, Ohio (AP) -- The man who designed the Pringles potato chip packaging system was so proud of his accomplishment that a portion of his ashes has been buried in one of the iconic cans.

The man who designed the Pringles can had part of his cremated remains buried in one, his family says.

Fredric J. Baur, of Cincinnati, died May 4 at Vitas Hospice in Cincinnati, his family said. He was 89.

Baur's children said they honored his request to bury him in one of the cans by placing part of his cremated remains in a Pringles container in his grave in suburban Springfield Township.
The rest of his remains were placed in an urn buried along with the can, with some placed in another urn and given to a grandson, said Baur's daughter, Linda Baur of Diamondhead, Mississippi.

Baur requested the burial arrangement because he was proud of his design of the Pringles container, a son, Lawrence Baur of Stevensville, Michigan, said Monday.
Baur was an organic chemist and food storage technician who specialized in research and development and quality control for Cincinnati-based Procter & Gamble Co.

Baur filed for a patent for the tubular Pringles container and for the method of packaging the curved, stacked chips in the container in 1966, and it was granted in 1970, P&G archivist Ed Rider said.

Am I the only one wondering what "flavor" of can he was buried in? Sour cream and cheddar? Sour cream and chive? Original? BBq?