I know it sounds cliche, but I'm moving on. Being a parent has put some things into perspective for me. I know, I've been a mom for all of two weeks, but that was all it took. I've been struggling and grasping for things that I now realize I don't need nor do I want in my life. I was struggling (before TJ was here) to just let them go. Now I can. I don't know what suddenly changed, but I have been giving it over to God repeatedly and I think I finally handed over the last bit.
It feels good to be free of those burdens and pains. It's great to know that the negative energy those things brought to my life will be gone and now I can focus on the positive aspects in my life.
It wasn't easy though. Part of me still wonders, "Did I 'give up' too soon?" 95% of me knows what I did was right and I will be better for it, but that other 5% feels some sort of connection still with what I gave up. Guess I really haven't handed ALL of it over to Him have I? Darn, I have a lot to learn. Guess it's time to go do some more prayer journal/drawing (If Taylor stays asleep that is).
No comments:
Post a Comment