Thursday, July 30, 2009

Can't Save Them All

I have learned that I can't save every student that crosses my path. Learning this hasn't stopped me from trying though. While I realize that I have been a bit jaded (this past school year) I need to believe that each student can be helped back onto the path to a productive life. I was reminded this morning that not every student will take (or want) the help that is offered to them.

Three years ago I had a 13 year old kid in my after school program. He was a handful! I always felt like I was banging my head against a wall when it came to him. Nothing seemed to work. I tried to help him in every way possible, but when he, and the family fought us every step of the way, there wasn't much we could do.

This morning I learned that he, along with a 23 year old male, sexual assaulted/beat up/raped a woman. He was arrested as a juvenile and then re-arrested as an adult due to the nature of the crime. I read the article and wanted to vomit. How does someone get so twisted (sick in the head, call it whatever you want) that they feel that is ok to do? Furthermore, what is a 23 year old doing being buddy buddy with a 16 year old? My former student now faces 20 years in prison as an adult and frankly, I hope he gets what he deserves. I know we have tried to utilize EVERY county resource with him and his family and it is not working. Maybe some time behind bars will allow him to realize the errors of his ways.....unfortunately, I doubt it will.

It is sad to give up on someone, but my heart sank a little this morning and I have to wonder if anything will work for him. Please pray for him, the other male involved and more importantly the female they assaulted.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I will not turn and run

This blog was written in an attempt to vent hopefully organize my thoughts.

So work is getting frustrating lately. The other office is growing like crazy and apparently they feel that I should be forgoing what I feel is important to work on their menial tasks. It's just frustrating. I did not go to school for 5 years to not enjoy my job.

I am beginning to wonder if I made the right choice to hang around for another year. I think I know that I will make it, but I also know that it won't be without a fight. I feel like I am taken advantage of, but when I speak up I get labeled "bitchy." I feel like I don't really fit in with most of my co-workers and it's like being back in middle school again. If I take my ipod and listen to my music while I do the crap work, then I am not being social. If I try to participate in their drama filled office, then I get looked at like I am some kind of contagious outsider.

I genuinely asked my boss if I would have time to get things done for my program and he told me
"probably not." So why do my students have to suffer because another office is busy? I need time to rearrange and prepare for this upcoming school year, but apparently no one else sees it but me.

I am trying to pray about this whole situation but it just brings frustration and tears because I don't know if I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. Do I stay here and put up with another year of being stepped on or do I try get out of dodge while I still have some dignity?

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


I don't know if I've ignored it in the past or just didn't notice it, but it seems like immaturity is everywhere these days! I think I have just tried to ignore it, but lately it has been too great to ignore any longer.

Why do people think that spreading rumors will make them look good and the person in the rumor bad? Do they not realize that true people realize it is the rumor starter who is the immature one? Rumors only hurt and will eventually backfire, then who looks stupid? The person that started and spread the lie, that is who!

I also have to wonder why people can't just fess up and say, "I screwed up, I'm sorry, what can I do to fix it?" What is with these half attempts at apologies. Why not own your mistakes and do what it takes to fix it. Is pride really that hard to swallow? I know it can be bitter, but it can be swallowed. Why do people then spread loads of bull poo to try to back up their lies? That only adds poo to your pride, and swallowing a poo covered pride is not only more difficult, but nasty as well.

When someone IS willing to admit to their mistakes and ask for help in fixing them, you should be willing to help them. Don't keep pointing out the mistake, they know the mistake, they are trying to fix it!

Rant done!