Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I Did

Well, I finally did it. I told my boss how I felt. Here's what I wrote him, and what he wrote back.

"I am beginning to wonder if I took on too much when I agreed to do a combined job. I feel like there is not enough time in the day to give each program the focus and attention it needs along with still having family time for my husband and mother. I find myself becoming extremely stressed, and I take it out on the kids for minor things. I don't like that side of me. The stress has even taken its toll on my health, and I spend many late afternoons fighting stomach problems and migraines.

I am waiting for the stress level to rise because I now have 7 kids in the day program, two of which are middle school, and one of the middle schoolers is special ed. It is difficult to do everything with little help from T. He is not knowledgeable in Math, nor is has he expressed any interest in trying to figure it out so he could help the kid. He has no clue how things are organized, how to enter anything into the computer, etc. It is really beginning to make leaving for meetings and conferences difficult. I've idiot proofed it and the kids have become very self-sufficient, so that helps. They know where everything is at, and what needs to be done, but he can't even figure out how to attach an email.

I find myself focusing more time for the day program because that is a majority of my time and where my expertise is at. Right now I could easily put in 40 hours a week with the day kids, between planning, pacing, grading, meeting with the contact person at school, going through the work before I assign it so I understand it, etc. That is not fair to the after school program. They need just as much focus as the day program. Being gone for meetings and conferences (don't get me wrong, I like to learn and be apart of the meetings) really puts me behind. I have reports for probation, case management stuff, now the assessing thing, and gavel something or other, and it seems like every week there is something new.

I am in the middle of reformatting the after school program. The kids are now having homework time from 4-4:30 and I check in with AMS and FMS once a week to see how the kids and their grades are going. If the kids do not have homework, they need to show me their assignment book/planner, and then read for that time. They can choose to read a book of their own, a book from the closet, or the newspaper. I have broken down the time for the program.

3:30-4 - The kids and I sit and talk, get to know each other, see what's going on, what happened that day, snack, etc.
4-4:30 - Homework/reading time
4:30-5:30/5:45ish - Activity
5:30/5:45ish-6:00- Dinner prep
6-6:30- Eating and clean up

It's hard to stick to such a schedule because the numbers change from day to day, and by spring break in March we'll be down to two kids in the after school program (one should be in phase II and one in phase III).

I guess I'm just really struggling and am stressed out and starting to regret combining the jobs. I feel like I can't do one program justice without the other suffering. I'll admit right now that I love the day program, but do not really like the after school program. I like the kids, but I'm finding it difficult to create any activities that will both be liked (so the students participate) and teach them something beneficial. Maybe its the fact that the kids lie more in the after school program that gets me.

I know that you created this position for me, but I'm really starting to wonder if I, and the programs, would be better off if I want back to just teaching during the day program?

Any thoughts?


To which he responded:


Please find some time so we can talk about this. I do not believe that combining the jobs was a mistake. I think you are doing an excellent job and I know that I don’t have to worry about things over at Yip because you are there taking care of things. If Tom isn’t helping you then we need to address that. You should not be the only one over there working with the kids. I understand what you are saying about the after school program, and I can relate with you about not liking it. I hated the freaking thing in October. Shoot me some times that you can meet with me this week and we can talk about it."

Its cool that I'm apparently doing the right things, but did he not realize that I don't have any extra time! Geesh.

Monday, February 26, 2007

I don't know how...

to take time for myself. I often find myself working through my lunch break, and not on projects for myself. Why do I have this feeling to constantly please others? Does it come from my mother? Heck, even she takes time out for herself to knit. When I think I am taking time for myself by doing scrapbooking or whatever, I usually end up working on something for someone else. Is it that I don't know how to take time for myself or that I'm unwilling? What do you do to take time for yourself?

Whats with the "F" bomb?

I have discovered something over the past week, people are not afraid to drop the "f" bomb. Why is that? I grew up in an environment where cussing was not allowed. I'll admit that I do cuss, but not nearly as much as I used to, and I really despise the "f" word. Why do people feel so comfortable with it? Why do they feel so comfortable with any cuss word? I went to a professional conference Friday and every other word out of the speakers mouth was a cuss word. This was a professional conference, I was shocked! Has cussing become more common, or am I just now noticing how prevalent it is?

Not Again

So I woke up early Saturday morning and decided to be productive with my day. After Ayron got a shower and left for work, I made a short grocery list, started the washer, and left to go Krogering. I came home from my Krogering trip to find a flooded bathroom. I called Ayron, he came home from work with the drain snake. We decided that the line is clogged again, and when the washer tried to spin out, the water came up into the shower and then out onto the floor. We snaked the drain outside. When we had the snake all the way out we thought we hit the clog, but had no more snake to break through. Ayron went to the Auburn Taylor Rental and picked up a snake that you can customize. I helped him attach each 8 foot section until we had built an 88 foot snake. We snaked the hole again, and thought we cleared the plug. We were happy, but then realized that it was 6:30 and we had missed church, and smelled like poo. We got showers and decided to relax at home. This morning, I was getting my shower, right after Ayron got his, and the shower started to fill up on me. I yelled for Ayron and thus our troubles are not over. He called the city this morning and they are going to come out and inspect the lines. When this happened the first time, Ayron and I started looking in the street (our snake was long enough that we had reached the middle of the street underground (thus making it city problems, not ours). There is a patch in the road which makes us think they have already tried to fix the problem once. Please pray for our sanity in this situation.

Oh, we did have a bright spot to our weekend. We went furniture shopping yesterday. I didn't plan on buying anything so I hadn't transferred the money we had been saving into checking. We found a great sale on a love seat and oversized chair at Value City Furniture. We called mom and go the ok to put it on her card (we all have a card under her one account). We will pay the bill when it comes. But yeah, furniture. Ayron and Michael (my ears still hurt after hearing about you this weekend. Hearing...hahaha) are going to pick it up on Thursday and bring it home. We payed a little extra for the protective coating, but that gives us a 7 year warranty on stains of any kind, snags, cuts, burn marks, etc. I'm so excited. People will have a place to sit now!!

Thursday, February 22, 2007


I'm wondering when people will start viewing me as the inexperienced young person. I usually am the youngest person in the groups that I associate with. I am wondering why when something goes wrong, all fingers point to me since I'm "new" or "young." Why can't "old" people fess up when the mess up? Case and point. I enrolled a new student. I hesitated to enroll the student because she was not coming to me through the proper channels. I even made my concerns known to the "old" people. Why do they decide a week later to call me and tell me that I did something wrong? I questioned the process a week ago, they told me to go ahead, so I went ahead. Now I'm getting fingers pointed at me? Why can't they just admit they messed up and didn't follow the proper channels? It is easier for them to place the blame someplace else? In this job, I have to look professional and follow the channels, that looks good to the Judge. Now I could end up looking like a shmuck because I did what I was told (by my "higher ups") in front of the judge. Thanks a lot "old" people.

** As soon as I hit publish and ventured away from my blog, I stumbled across someone else willing to shove their "older" advice at me. I AM 23, I CAN MAKE MY OWN CHOICES WITHOUT NEEDING YOUR OPINION OR MUTTERED COMMENTS. If I need or want someones opinion, I'll ask. Sure, you may consider yourself wiser just because you're older, but let me live my life. I let you live yours with very minimal negative talk from me, so why can't you do that for me?

Why does it upset me so much to confront these types of "old" people? Maybe it's because I view elders with respect. Even so, it is possible to respectfully give your opinion, but I guess I just always feel like I'm disrespecting them. As soon as I get the nerves to voice my opinion, I feel guilty. I shouldn't have to feel guilty for living my life the way I feel it should be lived. Am I right or just emotionally upset due to recent hurt?

Top 8 Morons of 2006

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

Monday, February 19, 2007

Concept of Family

While Ayron and I were getting gas yesterday, I saw a cousin of mine. She is technically my second cousin on my dad's side of the family. She probably has no clue who I am. That struck me. I started thinking about family and how my definition of family has changed and who it includes.

We have always been close to my mom's side of the family, and not at all on my dad's side of the family. The only person I still talk to on my dad's side of the family, is dad. Ayron's family is the exact opposite. We do everything with his dad's side of the family, and very little with his mom's side.

After pondering the notion of family most of the afternoon, I checked my phone to realize that I had a voice mail from Michael. The voice mail was different than his other ones. No funny song, no silly joke, but it meant more to me than the other voice mails. It made me realize, I had let him into my family.

My family is made up of mostly friends, and it is rapidly increasing. I'm realizing that I don't have to be genetically linked to someone in order to call them my family. I look at Quest as a monthly "family" reunion. While I still hold dear my biological family, I'm realizing that I might hold my "family" just as dear, if not more.

I'm here...barely

So today is "President's Day." Yeah rah. If you work for the government, you get the day off. Good for you. I work for the government, yet I'm here. NO...I'm not bitter...not one bit. Actually, I'm cool with it. I have a lot I could get done today. I go to Indy tomorrow with my boss to meet with IDOC about our grant. So basically, a whole day on the road with my boss for a 1/2 hour meeting at 1:30.

The weekend was great. The dinner party was a success, well at least I think so. Josh and Kelly couldn't come because he had a last minute service call to Missouri. The food was yummy, and the fellowship was great. Although, can you call fart stories and the tunnel of death fellowship? It worked for us. Big thanks goes out to Michael for helping my hubby clean up the kitchen while Amy and I chilled on the couch.

It was cool to have Ayron home all day Saturday. We hung out with my sister, went and watched Music and Lyrics, dyed my sister's hair, and then went a friends going away party. We managed to do absolutely nothing Sunday. We haven't done that in a long time!

All in all, it was a relaxing weekend. This week, however, will be crazy. I enrolled a new student today. I go to Indy tomorrow, the new student starts Wednesday(did I mention that he is only 12 and in the 6th grade?!), Thursday I work late teaching T4C, and Friday I'm going to South Bend all day for a conference. Whew, tired just thinking about it.

Friday, February 16, 2007


I would now like to take a minute to vent about work. Keep in mind that my rants are from my mind, and do not apply to everyone.

Why are parents so dense when it comes to their own kids? Why can't they see that it is their child's behavior that causes problems, not mine? Why can't the parents see the problems with school and help their own child? Why do they depend on everyone else to take care of their child? Why do they even let stupid people breed?

Why are public schools rapidly going to the dog house? Why have the suddenly forgotten that students are people, not just numbers? Have they forgotten that students have emotions and if those emotions are fragile, their learning state will be too? When and why did the schools get so focused on winning awards and starts? What are they gaining by winning this status if students are going through the cracks?

Why do I feel that it is my duty to fix everyone's educational problems? Why do I take on such troubled students who have been left behind by not only the schools but their own family? Why do I complain about the public school yet do nothing to improve it? How do I improve the entire public school system by myself?

Why, why, why, why, oh, and why.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Can You Believe This??

Ok, I'm a pet lover. No question there. I have two cats (who live with my mom) and Scooter, who lives with us. While I love my animals, I do not love them this much! They have to be repainted every couple of months. That is a waste of money.

Excited....Yet Nervous

As many of you know, we are having a dinner party at our house tomorrow. I'm nervous. Granted, I know the people, and several have already been to our house, yet I have butterflies. I am wondering if we'll get the house clean in time! I've been working from home the past two days (thanks to the "blizzard of 07") but I didn't get nearly enough done for work or myself. Tonight is my late night at work too. Thankfully, I'm only working till noon tomorrow so I can get a lot done tomorrow afternoon.

All of that being said, I am really excited though. I feel like we've finally found a group where we fit. We changed churches this summer and instantly felt at home at New Hope. There is a group of us (do we have a name??) who do things together. We have Quest, and go out to eat after church, etc. It's nice to have a group of friends our age who are Christians and who are so loving. I guess that's why I want tomorrow to go so well. Don't forget to bring something to dip in chocolate!!!

Monday, February 12, 2007

How Cute!!

A month after Ayron and I began dating, his (well, now "our") niece and I were reading an animal book that had come with her kids meal. She decided to rename everyone in the family as an animal. I was, and still am Zebra. Ayron was assigned giraffe (how appropriate). To this day, those "nicknames" have stuck. I have the biggest collection of Zebra and Giraffe stuff this side of nowhere. So when I found this pictures today, it made me happy.

If I've Said It Once...

I've said it a million times. God's timing is mysterious.

I have been struggling with how to reconnect with an old friend of mine. Almost exactly a year ago, I had falling out with a friend. We have been friends since birth and I never thought that our distance would last a year. Last week I finally deleted her cell phone number from my phonebook. I felt slightly guilty, but thought it was because we had been friends for so long.

Saturday, she had been on my mind. When I got home from Ft. Wayne, Ayron called me to say that he had stopped in to talk to some old friends when he ran into the husband of my old friend. Ayron asked how my friend was doing, and the answer was not positive. We immediately called my friends brother. We spent the afternoon moving my friend out of their home and back in with her parents. When I walked into the house and saw her, it was like no time had passed. The fights, the year of separation, went out the window. I walked over and gave her a hug and started crying with her. I wasn't crying for our lost friendship, but for her. My heart broke as we talked. I drove with her back to her parents house and then back into town to get some groceries. My heart ached for her. I've never had the feeling. I would never wish a divorce on anyone, not even after the horrible year we've had between us.

Later that evening we went to church and the message was titled "A Valentine for Rachel" and it focused on the man who worked for 7 years to marry his love, and cousin, Rachel. After the first 7 years, he was given Rachel's older sister, Leah. The man worked another 7 years to earn Rachel. All of the six points hit home. I couldn't stop the tears. I wondered if the message would have had as much of an impact on me if we hadn't just moved my friend out of her house and away from her husband. I wanted to take a copy of the sermon and beat her husband over the head with it.

I have decided to not let our friendship go down that road again. But I found myself wondering, what if they get back together? What do I do? He was part of the reason we grew apart this past year. I made sure not to bash him in front of her, and actually, I didn't in my mind either. I know how I feel about him, but I've never said it to her, but I think she has figured it out. I want her to be happy, and if God wants them to be together he will work things out, but I'm afraid that if they get back together, I'll lose her again.

Dear Lord,

I pray for your loving guidance, not only for her, but for myself as well. Allow me to be quiet enough to here You and Your wisdom. Provide me with the comforting words that she may need over the coming weeks. I also pray that Your guiding hand be with him. He is struggling so much right now and while he may not see it, he needs You right now. I also pray for the rest of her family. We are all struggling with strong emotions towards him. Grant us the peace that will be needed during this time. In YOUR name I pray...Amen.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

I'll Bet On It

I am willing to bet this was created by a group of guys.

Here is the information I found about the toilet on the internet. I can't figure out what the red dot at the base of the stool is. Ayron thinks its the Staples "Easy" button.
SINGAPORE, Feb 7 (Reuters Life!) - Think you deserve a throne? A U.S. plumbing firm has created a luxury toilet equipped with laptop computer and flat-screen TV which it plans to give away in an online sweepstake.
Ohio-based Roto-Rooter says its "Pimped Out John" is designed to "fulfill all your wildest bathroom dreams." Special features include an iPod music player and speakers, an
Xbox' video game console, a refrigerator filled with drinks and snacks and a cycling exercise machine.

"The bathroom is the perfect place for your very own throne. It shouldn't always be regarded as the room of last resort," said Steven Pollyea, Roto-Rooter vice president of marketing, in a press release emailed to Reuters.

"The average person spends 11,862 hours in the bathroom, which equals one year, four months and five days in a lifetime... a toilet should be the most wonderful location in your home."
Roto-Rooter spokesman Paul Abrams said the firm spent about $5,000 on parts and components to customize the toilet.

Any resident of the United States could win this "gleaming monument to personal convenience" by entering the sweepstake at before April 2.
You might never want to leave your bathroom again.
You better believe that as soon as I read this to Ayron he went to the site and registered to win the thing.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

What Do I Make...

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?" He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about teachers: "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach." To stress his point he said to another guest; "You are a teacher, Julie. Be honest. What do you make?" Julie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, "You want to know what I make?

(She paused for a second, then began...)

"Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor if this student has been barely passing. I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for 5 minutes without an I Pod, Game Cube, or movie rental...

You want to know what I make?"

(She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table.)

I make kids wonder. I make them question. I make them criticize. I make them apologize and mean it. Not just say I'm sorry, but I am sorry for....... I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions. I teach them to write and then I make them write. I make them read, read, read. I make them show all their work in math. I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know in English while preserving their unique cultural identity."

"I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe. I make my students stand to say the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag, because we live in the United States of America. Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life."

(Julie paused one last time and then continued.)

"Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant..."

"You want to know what I make?"

"I MAKE A DIFFERENCE. What do you make?"


HELP! Ayron is difficult to buy for. I need advice from guys. What should I get him for Valentine's Day.

Getting the House Ready

I opted to work from home yesterday afternoon, and after struggling to get all of my stuff in working order on the kitchen table, I decided to clean and organize the office. Luckily for me, I had my boys (Ayron, Michael, and Scooter) at the house and they were able to move the ridiculously heavy desk I own. I can now work at my desk and look out the window! I manged to dig out some old materials from school that could prove to be valuable to me for work and put them in the bookcase. I have Scooters smaller cage set up and my computer is hooked up and ready to go. Great for me, but one problem. It put me in a nesting stage (No, I'm not pregnant).

We are hosting a dinner party on the 16th and we have invited around 20 people. Side note, if your coming, don't forget to RSVP by this Friday. Anyways, I want my house to be perfect. I started cleaning the bathroom for the third time this week. I resorted the dirty laundry in hopes that the piles would shrink, it didn't work. Tonight, we are cleaning the bedroom. Next Tuesday Ayron is going to do pain touch ups. I'm going to spend the weekend working on the pink (we call it that because it has pink carpet) bedroom. The pink room, also known as the room which houses Jeremiah's troll den, has become a catch all for everything that we don't know where to put. I'd like to make it into a guest room so that the girls can come stay with us and have a place to sleep.

Hopefully we can get everything done in time!!

To Holicki or not to Holicki.....

that is the question.

I am lucky enough to have connections to several individuals in the eye care field. One man in particular, is created for pioneering eye surgeries and has many techniques and procedures named after him. Greg, worked under that doctor, and now works for Dr. Holicki. I have been told that I am the perfect person for Lasik or Lasek. The financial burden would not be an issue because of my connections. Many people would jump on board, but I'm timid, merely walking behind the train.

I have worn glasses off and on since 2nd grade. I was lucky enough to get contacts in high school and have been wearing them ever since. I recently have been told that my frequent use of contacts is warping my eyes and that I should switch back to glasses until I have my surgery. While I have a killer pair of new glasses, I like my contacts. I like being able to wear sunglasses and swim. I like being able to walk into a building without having glasses that fog up. So get the surgery right? Not that easy.

I freaked out when I had my gallbladder surgery and I knew I would be asleep for that. I'd be awake for this. Awake and with it while they poke around in my eye! I would have to be seriously drugged. Greg told me I could come in early and they could give me a shot of verset (who knows if I'm spelling it right, probably not). I've had the drug during the whole gallbladder phase, and that drug works miracles on me. They also have suckers for kids made out of that drug. I told Greg, "You'd have to shoot me up, and give me the entire box of suckers!"

It's been weighing on my mind. Why not? The financial burden wouldn't be an issue. I'd be free of my contacts and glasses. I could wake up and actually read the alarm clock. I'm debating about making an appointment for spring break. I just know that I'm a weeny when it comes to minor pain. I can take large pain. My surgeon was amazed at how well I was doing with the gallbladder pain when he pulled out my rock hard gallbladder. He didn't know how I was able to function on a daily basis with my organ is such a horrible shape. So why can't I take some minor discomfort and get it done. I've talked to people who have had it done, but they are all linked to Greg. I was talking to my "brother" about it Friday and he said, "Just get it done." I tried using the whole, "well, shouldn't you wait until after your have children because that can mess with your vision." To which Dan replied, "So do it now before you have kids." Got me. I guess the reason I'm hesitant is because everyone who is telling me to do it, hasn't had it done. Dan has glasses, Greg has glasses, heck the doctor that helped pioneer the whole process wears glasses!! How can the sell a product they haven't used! I know why, none of them are good candidates, but just my luck, I'm a perfect one.....grrrr....I'll probably end up making the call by the end of the week.

Has anyone out there had it done? Any words of advice? I'm NOT looking for horror stories, those don't help. Just friendly advice.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007


I started reading Ann Brashares series Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants last fall while I was student teaching. I had several girls in my class reading the first novel, and I was curious. I was hooked! I made Ayron watch the movie with me, and I've read each novel since. There are now four in the series, and I bought number 4 two days ago. While I liked how the series concluded, I must say that I am a bit appalled by what is in the plot line. If these stories are geared towards young females, why did Ann fill the last novel with sex? Sex, within the confines of marriage, is a wonderful and beautiful thing. Why promote sex to minor girls? I'm not stupid, I know kids are "doing it" and I can't say that I'm surprised. Sex is everywhere. Maybe I'm being too old fashioned or conservative, but I must say that it is possible to stay a virgin until marriage. I am not trying to condemn anyone who has had sex outside of a marriage, I know a ton of those people, but I also know the heartbreak that goes with it. Knowing all of the trouble and heartache sex can bring to young adult, why is main stream America selling it to the youth? It seems silly. We tell them not to have sex, to wait, all about STDS, etc, yet we put it in their novels, movies, and music. Am I the only one who is bugged by this?

"When You Say You Love Me"

Like the sound of silence calling
I hear your voice and suddenly I’m falling
Lost in a dream
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting
You say those words, my heart stops beating
I wonder what it means
What could it be that comes over me
At times I can’t move
At times I can hardly breathe

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there’s no one else alive

You’re the one I’ve always thought of
I don’t know how, but I feel sheltered in your love
You’re where I belong
And when you’re with me, if I close my eyes
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time
Somewhere between the heavens and earth
Frozen in time
Oh, when you say those words

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there’s no one else alive

And this journey that we’re on
How far we’ve come and I
Celebrate every moment
And when you say you love me
That’s all you have to say
I’ll always feel this way

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment, I know why I’m alive
When you say you love me
When you say you love me
Do you know how I love you?

Monday, February 05, 2007

Weekend of Disappointments

Things never go very smoothly for me. Just when I think the road is leveling out, BAM!! God adds a speed bump. This weekend was one continuous speed bump. Something that we had been praying for and hoping for feel through. Maybe we weren't ready, maybe God is saying, "Not now." Either way, it was a big freakin let down. Ayron's truck was hit by a kid who was going 35 down our road, and didn't even slow down before plowing into the back end of the parked truck. When the sheriff came out (he lives right across the street) he realized the plates on the trust were expired. Then, right after that happened, our sewer line became blocked. After 5 hours of attempting to clean it out on our own, we called a professional. All he managed to do was freak me out and make the block worse. Sunday, Ayron and Tom managed to find the outside clean out and snake the line and broke up the clog and now we can shower and use the restroom (no, I don't count being able to use the facilities a disappointment). I have been fighting an ear ache and sore throat all weekend as well. I came to work early this morning to get some shopping and basic office tasks done before my staff and student arrived, only to find that the heat hasn't worked in the building all weekend. I am sitting in my 53 degree office in my winter coat, gloves (which makes it hard to type), and hat waiting for the heating guy to get here. I have two doors and two windows cracked in case the furnace is putting out carbon monoxide.

Don't get me wrong, I know it sounds like I'm in whining, but I'm just wondering about the topic of disappointment. Would everything else sucked so bad had the first disappointment not happened? Did the first disappointment put me in such a mood that I viewed everything else as God trying to get through to me? Sometimes I think that I view everything as a sign from God. It just seemed like God was using this weekend to beat me down. Was I getting to confidant? Some answers would be nice. I know everything happens according to HIS time, but I'm the type of person that needs answers. I'd be ok with the disappointment if I knew why. Needless to say, I've spent a lot of time in prayer. Maybe that was God's goal. Am I that stubborn that it took a string of events before I sat down and prayed? If I am that stubborn, why? I am working on reprioritizing my life with God being the focus. He's always been there, but lately I think my focus has been blurred. I'm working on removing those cataracts and getting my focus back on Him, but I know that will be difficult.

Starting this weekend, our lives will become crazy. Ayron has Hope Group Training at Pastor's house on Monday. Tuesday, he has play practice and soccer, while I attend Puppy Training. Wednesday is catch your breath day, Thursday I have a class that I am taking/teaching for work, and Friday's usually entail some kind of family or friend function. Don't get me wrong, I love being busy, but I know that when I'm busy, I lose my focus. Just pray that I am able to keep my sanity through the next three months.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Funny Sign

I saw this saying today on a carwash sign.

"Careless today, Carless tomorrow"

Funny Sign

I saw this saying today on a carwash sign.

"Careless today, Carless tomorrow"

Radio Wars

Auburn has its own local radio station, Froggy 106.7 and they have been having a fun contest the past week. The afternoon dj, Chris, isn't a Colts nor a Bear's fan. He was asking the community to help him decide who to cheer for on the day of the Superbowl. Chuck, the owner of Crickets bar, is a Bears fan. His friend, Ben, the owner of Taylor Rental (He's Ayron's boss), is a huge Colts fan. They decided to bribe Chris into liking "their" team. Chris sold out to Chuck for a case of bear and food. Ben sent out an email to over 500 people telling them to call the radio station and heckle and what not. Ayron decided to call and told Chris, "You were bought. How does it feel to be owned. You sold out for beer? You are owned...." I then called into the radio station and said, "I think you need to know something about the previous caller who was calling you 'bought.' Um.... I'll probably catch flack for this when I get home, but that caller was bought by Ben. He works for Ben." Everyone in the booth lost it. They were laughing and carrying on about "Who's bought now." Both of our comments ended up on the air. It was fun! Ayron's been on the radio numerous times, this was my first time.

This morning was the stations last day for their search for the biggest Colts fan. Ayron was going to get up early and physically go to the station, but he slept in and called on his way to work. He said, "I'm 6'10" and 345 lbs. I'm pretty sure that I'm the biggest Colts fan in Auburn." That made the morning show hosts laugh. They told him, "Well, while that is big, it's not the type of big we are looking for."

As I was surfing the radio's website I found these. Sorry Ben, but your identity has been revealed.