Friday, November 30, 2007


I am horribly nervous. In a matter of minutes I will be having a meeting with my boss and aide in which we inform my aide that his "services" are no longer needed. I know that this is better for me, the students, the program, etc. So why am I nervous? I think it's because I don't know how he will react. We are doing it in my other office so no kids will be around, but he will have to come back to the house, gather his things, and leave. I don't want him to cause a scene. I just want this done. It was supposed to happen Wednesday but during our meeting then he talked non stop about junk and never let my boss have a word in edge wise. I know that I am going to have to answer his questions, fine, I'll own up to the complaints I made. I just wish I knew how he was going to react.

Dear Lord,

Please be with me as I face this next hour. Allow me to keep my calm. I also ask that you allow me to articulate my words in a manner that accurately describe the problems we have been encountering with him. I pray that you bring him calm as well. I know this will be difficult for me, so I can only imagine how difficult it will be for him. May he be happy to be relieved of his duties here. I also pray that he find other work quickly.


The meeting did not go like I had planned. I did realize part way through the meeting that I had the chance to stand up for myself. He decided to use the time to slam me and every decision I had ever made. I decided to not let him belittle me anymore. I made sure I thought through everything I was going to say. I never once told him his opinion on the situation was wrong. After all, how can I tell someone their opinion is wrong, I can't. He was finally asked to gather his things and leave.

I was nice to realize this morning that I was looking forward to coming into work and working my new day staff.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

What A Savings!!

I have been at my current job for almost 16 months now. Hard to believe. Sometimes it seems like time has flown, other times it seems as if the sand is stuck in the timer.

I wrote an annual report this morning for the state agency that funds both of my programs. Thanks to the programs I oversee, we (myself and my staff) have saved the county 2,771 days of juvenile placement. Not a big deal you say? Well, calculate this. The average stay in a juvenile facility costs the county $175. That is for ONE DAY! So, if you take 2,771 and multiply it by $175, you can see that we saved the county a total of $484,925 in the past 16 months. I knew it would be a large number, but I was still blown away!

I am hoping that by showing our funding agency how much we have saved them, they will not hesitate to fund our program (plus and extra 5k) for the next year. I think spending $100,000 to save almost half a million is worth it. Don't you?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Goofy Day

It has been an odd day. When I woke up this morning I knew something wasn't right, but I decided to have a positive attitude about it anyways.

When I got to work I had to sort out insurance information (I switched to the county insurance because it will cost me a whole whopping $1 a year compared to $120 a month through Ayron's work). Then my driver called me to say that he couldn't locate the house of a new student. After several phone calls over the course of an hour I was finally able to figure out that the new student managed to get themselves placed, so I wouldn't have that student. I know it sounds odd, but I was relieved. Sick and twisted, I know. This student was going to be a handful and I had to plan their entire curriculum with answer keys and they were to be here for the rest of the year. I felt a weight lifted off of me when I found out that I didn't have to figure out that whole situation.

Then I get a phone call from my husband telling me that my uncle went hunting that morning. Big deal, so what? Turns out he shot a deer. Good for him.....but he forgot about the recoil on the gun. He manged to not only take down a 131lb. field dressed buck but also give himself a black eye with the scope on his gun. I chuckled, but only because I knew he was ok and I can just picture the look on my aunt's face.

Just a little bit ago, Ayron called me at work to see if I had heard about my old neighbor. My old neighbor is a former Army man, big macho, hilarious, yet big teddy bear type of guy. He now works for the Indiana State Police around the Indy area. This morning he and his partner made a traffic stop. When his partner approached the vehicle, the vehicle started to pull away. J, decided to shoot out the back tires. His first shot was fine, it was the second one that caused some problems. The second bullet ricocheted off the hubcap of the moving vehicle and came back to hit him in the thigh. He and his partner jumped back into the car to pursue the fleeing vehicle and then he realized what had happened. They took him to the hospital and instead of just having a bullet sized hole, he now has a 6 inch incision on his leg. The bullet had managed to lodge itself so deeply that the doctor couldn't remove it, even after making the incision.

Moral of the stories?? Guns are dangerous people! BE CAREFUL!!!

Baking Realization

When I went to the store last week I decided to stock up on "baking essentials." Your typical items: flour, sugar, baking powder, vanilla, chocolate chips, etc.

I have been in a baking mood lately so last night I decided to make good old chocolate chip cookies. Usually Ayron hangs around the kitchen just long enough to lick a beater or stick his finger in the batter, but last night he actually helped! Well, until the first batch came out of the oven and then he asked if he could steal a cookie. Well, I failed to realize that when I stocked up on baking supplies, I grabbed milk chocolate chips instead of semi-sweet. I didn't think it would make much of a difference. I had already used one bag in my "no bake" cookies and couldn't tell a difference. I was SOOOO wrong. When we sat down to have our warm cookies and milk (before a rousing game of UNO) the cookies were almost too sweet. They were kind of gross. I only ate one, and then chugged my milk. I couldn't believe how altering one little thing in my routine could change the final product so much. It got me thinking.

What other routines in my life could I alter to better the result? I am a very routine and scheduled person. I know what has to be done by when and I schedule it and get it done in advanced. Changing something usually throws me for a loop and then I get all grouchy. Today I have decided to change how I do some things at work. I have decided not to be addicted to my email. I have a bad habit of checking my work email every 1/2 an hour. My goal today is to go an hour in between checking. Not a big deal to anyone else, but I am waiting to see how this will change my day. Hopefully having two new students today will distract me from my urge to log in and reply to senseless emails. We'll see.

What could you change in your daily routine?

I decided to try the cookies again this morning and they are much better now. I think the fact that the chocolate was so warm and gooey intensified the sweetness. Heck, Scooter even stole two cookies. Key word being "stole." He sure liked them, but we'll see what they do to his tummy!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Inner Peace

I am sure it is apparent by my blog ramblings that life has not been a smooth ride lately, nor do I see smooth sailing ahead (immediate or long term). Last week, Pastor Deihl made a good illustration. I will try my best to sum up the point. Someone who has had bumps along the way will find better ways to cope and will be better for it in the long run. I believe this. I also know how hard it is to live that example. Sure, "I'll be better in the long run" is a comforting thought for the future, but it does little to comfort me during immediate situations.

I was dreading this week. Some major changes will occur this week at work and some major decisions needed to be made in our personal life. I decided to take it one day at a time in an attempt to not overwhelm myself. I was dreading work. I knew that I couldn't "call in sick" because then nothing would get done. So I drug myself to work and I am happy that I did. I started tackling today's list and managed to straighten out a lot of things, here are work as well as in my personal life. I started thinking about how easy it was to straighten it all out and then realized how stressed out I was making myself for nothing. Further thinking/reflection made me realize I have inner peace about my whole life.

It is great to have this peace. To know that I will try my hardest and that He has equipped me with the proper tools or knowledge I need to make it in this world. I have been forced to humble myself lately and that was a bitter pill to swallow. I realize now that while it may have been bitter, it could have been worse. I am grateful for the inner peace He has given me and knowing He will never leave or forsake me is providing me with a much needed dose of sanity to not only face the rest of this week but the rest of my life as well.

Friday Night Funnies

We spent Friday night hanging out at a friends house enjoying each other's company. A group of us sat around talking, playing "Catch Phrase" and "Trivial Pursuit: Pop Culture." Here are some funny saying from Friday night.

L: It's what you get at a Mexican restaurant.
N: *cough, cough* "I'm not contagious, it's allergies."
T: Yumm...Lung Butter!!!
N: Waterloo doesn't have a mayor since we are a town. We have a town council of 5 people.
C: Oh, so you're like 1/5 mayor! I'd make a shirt that says that!
T: Bodily waste
A: Poo!
T: The liquid kind..
C&A: DIARRHEA!! (the correct answer was urine)
The question had something to do with a certain musician (can't remember the name) who played what entire album in Berlin in 1990. The question was asked of the girls during Trival Pursuit. All of the girls sat around stumped and were about to give up (we had been on a roll answer correct answer after correct answer) when it came to previous involvement with a guy who was obsessed with Pink Floyd.....THE WALL!! The guys moaned and our answering streak continued.

It was a fun time! To bad the boys ended up winning. I challenge them to a rematch at the next Quest.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Political Correctness or Going Too Far??

The other morning I heard that a group of people feel the current body type of Santa is contributing to obesity. They are now telling Santa's that "ho, ho, ho" is offensive to women. Really?

If they are going to go that far, then I am going to say that Humpty Dumpty is offensive to me because I am a vegetarian (ok, so I'm not, but for the sake of argument I am). Or, I could say that Beauty and the Beast promotes bestiality. Willy Wanka shows slavery (the oopma loompas). Etc. I think you get my drift.

I grew up believing Santa said "ho, ho, ho" and he was so big because he had to pack on the weight to stay warm during his yearly flight around the world. Have we (society) gone too far? What do you think?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Robin Strine

If you live in the Auburn area chances are you have heard of Robin Strine. You may not know her by name, or even know what she looks like, but I am willing to say that you know her story.

On February 16, 1990 Robin was in a freak accident while driving to work. Her life has never been the same. I don't want to spoil the book, so that is all I am saying. Her struggles have recently been published and are titled Into the Darkness...Guided by His Light.

I am lucky enough to know Robin. While I would like to say that I know her personally, I cannot. She has been a friend of my husbands family forever. We now attend the same church. I am even willing to guess that Tommy (her son) will be taller than Ayron, be a star college basketball player, and even in the NBA.

This morning before I came to work I decided to go buy Robin's book at the local Christian bookstore. I was surprised at how quickly I was touched by her story. I knew her story long before it was published, but seeing it in print blew me away. I then decided to search for the book on Amazon and there it was. This woman is truly an inspiration and her story is miraculous. Take the hour to read her story (it's only 75 pages) and then pass her story along to someone else.

It's Official

We had our official ultrasound this morning and Taylor is indeed a boy. We were able to see his bladder, stomach, brain, spine, arm bones, and leg bones. It was fun, but a bit uncomfortable. I had to have a full bladder for the ultrasound. We were happy to learn that our mid-wife's guess at gender was correct! Maybe that will be the motivation Ayron needs to help me start getting the nursery around.

Taylor will have bright pink carpet for awhile. It is a nice sized room and a perfect rectangle so I am wondering if we could get a remnant and change it out ourselves....hmmm....the thought/planning train has just left the station.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


As Izzy Stephans says on Grey's Anatomy, "Seriously?!" I kid you not, I just read an article in the paper titled "Man hurt after trying to loosen lug nut with shotgun blast." I don't feel like retyping the article I read so here is one I found on line about the incident.

"SOUTHWORTH, Wash.—A man trying to loosen a stubborn lug nut blasted the wheel with a 12-gauge shotgun, injuring himself badly in both legs, sheriff's deputies said.

The 66-year-old man had been repairing a Lincoln Continental for two weeks at his home northwest of Southworth, about 10 miles southwest of Seattle, and had gotten all but one of the lug nuts off the right rear wheel by Saturday afternoon, Kitsap County Deputy Scott Wilson said.
"He's bound and determined to get that lug nut off," Wilson said.

From about arm's length, the man fired the shotgun at the wheel and was "peppered" in both legs with buckshot and debris, with some injuries as high as his chin, according to a sheriff's office report.

"Nobody else was there and he wasn't intoxicated," Wilson said.

The man was taken to Tacoma General Hospital with injuries Wilson described as severe but not life-threatening."

How dumb has our society become??

Chain of Events

It's funny how everything is connected, but the connections may not be made clear in the proper order. Case and point, our furnace.

Last week we started having problems with our furnace. We decided to wait and use the "rent someone elses hubby" service instead of paying for a repair guy. Ayron decided to try to tinker with it himself. He checked the attic, and roof, replaced the hot surface ignitor, and some other things. It still wasn't running right. So on Sunday J and K came over and J was able to fix the furnace. We left it running while we went to church. We came home and started not feeling well and getting sleeping, dizzy, icky all over. I then realized the furnace sounded funny. Ayron looked at it and then called J again to talk things over on the phone. In the mean time Ayron realized he never reconnected the chimney to the furnace to vent out through the roof. We reconnect the chimney and go on with our relaxing, yet our ickiness doesn't go away. It then hits us, CO! We stopped the furnace, turned off the gas, called the gas company, opened the windows and waited around outside. The guy came and sure enough, we had CO in the house. We aired it out until his little machine read 0 then went to bed. J and K came over again last night to look at our furnace again (I think I'm gonna name the furnace Oscar after Oscar the Grouch). When looking at the chimney (checking for leaks) J notices the chimney is blocked. He cleaned it out and a ton of fluff fell out. I could knit you a sheep, a black one, but still a sheep. After some more checking, chasing the dog with the vacuum, getting the dog off the table, and watching a funny squirt bottle fit between J and K, J was able to figure out a switch was going out. All of these things are connected, but in an odd way.

The switch was slowly dying, which is was caused our hot surface ignitor to go out, which caused Ayron to tinker with the furnace, with caused black fluff to fall into and clog the chimney, which didn't allow the CO to escape, which lead to a house of CO, which lead to us calling J again to come look at it, which lead to a pork dinner with a side of really thick and stiff mashed potatoes (I still can't figure out what went wrong with those).

It's funny how one little switch can cause so many problems.

Monday, November 12, 2007


To all of the veterans out there, Thank You!


Ok, so as I thought about my weekend on the drive to work I realized I couldn't really make sense of it all. Being the English dork that I am (I was laughed at last night when I admitted that I wanted to go back to school) I decided the only way for me to figure it all out was to blog. Hopefully this blog will make sense to not only me, but to everyone else.

Friday I left work early. I needed to have some "me" time. I spent my "me" time cleaning the house. Normally I would sit and read but with as crazy as life has been lately I wanted some order, so that meant cleaning. Friday night was also Quest (group of young adults who get toge her once a month for food, fellowship, and fun). Have you ever seen those new V8 commercials were people are being "bopped" upside the head? That was me Friday night. We watched and discussed Rob Bell's video "Kickball." Rob Bell's words always hit me hard. I know where he is going with things, but I am still amazed at the end of the video. The whole time we were watching the clip I felt like God was sitting in front of me bopping me on the head. It was like the light bulb finally went off. Then I felt this weight being lifted. It was like God was thinking, "Finally, you have learned the whole lesson, now let's get you to put your new knowledge to use!" It was amazing. I also realized how many friends I have. It is so fun to get together with people and just talk about anything. It is really funny to look at a former student and realize he is now a peer not a student. I was baffled by him. I was talking to his older sister when I confessed that I had taught him, she apologized. I was baffled and asked why. She told me he could be a dork at times. I thought, can't we all? I then decided to take that moment to praise her brother. It felt good to praise this former student and how well he has turned out. I think she saw him in a new light after that.

Saturday marked the beginning of REEVES HOG SLAUGHTER 07. Animal right's activists, don't bother. We eat meat, we like meat, we process meat. We spent all of Saturday processing two out of the four hogs. I helped! Normally I stay away, but I wanted to hang out with my sister in law and since she was helping, I helped. It was fun to hang out with family and realize that as crazy as they can seem at times, they are great people.

Sunday we continued the pig processing and did another two hogs. We also had J&K over so that J could look at our furnace (by now like 95% of you know who I'm talking about). J got it working and we left to go to a marriage thing at church (more on that later). When we came home we noticed the furnace sounded funny. I don't know what exactly Ayron was able to figure out with J over the phone, but it was sounding funny. We just decided to turn it off for the night and have J come take another look at it (thanks again to K for letting me borrow her hubby). Well, we discovered that when Ayron was trying to fix the problem earlier in the week he never reconnected the chimney to the furnace. Thus, the furnace was running for 3 hours pumping exhaust (aka CO) into the house. We panicked, turned the gas off, and opened the windows. Our panic was probably psychosomatic, but to be on the safe side we called the gas company. After waiting around outside for half an hour the gas guy came and confirmed our suspicion. We turned on the furnace and he tested that and that is how we discovered our furnace chimney has a leak. So we were paranoid all night, even though we aired the house out and before the guy left we had him check on last time and his gizmo was reading "0."

The marriage thing at church was very insightful. We watched part one of "Men's Brains/Women's Brains." A lot of the stuff I knew from psychology classes, but it was still interesting to see it from a guys point of view. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. It was great. Too bad we had to go home to a poisonous house!

As I laid awake last night thinking about family and friends I had a sense of calm. Life has been chaotic right now, to say the least, and in the past I would be going psycho right now. So why am I so calm? It almost scares me to realize how calm I am. I am worried that I am not worrying. Then it hit me, I am more in tune with Him lately than I have ever been. I am putting other's needs first and trusting that He will provide for me. It is so profound and I keep wondering, "Why didn't I do this earlier in life!?" It is great to have a loving family and loving friends. They can make all the difference in a life.

Friday, November 09, 2007

Back Then

Back then the only thing that mattered was having fun.
Back then we loved to play in the rain.
Back then we raced home for mac-n-cheese and The Price Is Right.
Back then we were rap stars and divas without ever leaving the play room.
Back then we could fly to Hawaii and Jamaica without getting off the swings.
Back then we saved our money for a trip to Bower's Dime Store.
Back then we made snowman and the front page of The Evening Star.
Back then we played with Kid Sisters and My Buddies.
Back then we hid from the world in the closet with a marble kit in tow.
Back then we playfully ran from grandma's kisses.

Now all that matters are making deadlines.
Now we get frustrated with the rain we bring on ourselves.
Now we race home to avoid traffic and slow trains.
Now we questions every decision we have ever made.
Now just leaving the state can be a problem.
Now we save our paychecks to pay off college debt.
Now we make chaos and stress by avoiding the truth.
Now we are friends with our real siblings and appreciate their guidance.
Now we long for a porthole back to that closet.
Now we long for our relatives presence.

Will I Ever Learn?

I often wonder if I will ever learn my lesson. It seems like lately He is beating me over the head with the same lesson. So why am I being so stubborn and refusing to learn it. Well, I have partially learned the lesson, but why don't I change my life to reflect my new knowledge? Why am I so stubborn with it comes to this particular lesson? What in my past has caused me to think it is ok to struggle alone and not ask for help? Where did I learn to be so self-efficient to the point that I drowned in my own stress?

Why am I afraid to point blank admit what is going on? Why am I afraid of being judged because of my short comings? My friends are not the type to judge, they are the type to help. Knowing this, why don't I reach out for their guidance? What am I afraid of?

Why do I get mad at Him when I don't learn/practice my lesson? It is not His fault. Deep down I know, so why do I get mad at Him. He has tried to guide me in the right direction, yet I chose to go for a swim in the belly of a large fish (lets not start the fish vs. whale debate) instead of doing what He asked. Will I ever learn that being in the belly of a fish is not the place for me. He keeps spitting me out on dry land, yet I turn around and jump back in the water. What is my problem?

I did seek guidance for my inability to learn last night and I am hoping that is a step in the right direction for me. I just keep wondering why I get mad at Him for teaching me. After everything He has done for me, I have no right to get mad. When will I grow up?

Thursday, November 08, 2007

I can only hope...

that Taylor is this smart.

Authority Part II

Ok, so this week I managed to confront one of my employees. I blogged about the situation earlier this week. I feel I did a good job in our "meeting." I did not attack, I did not blame, I simply explained my reasoning behind a couple of decisions. I knew that he would not like my reasoning or my decisions, but it boils down to me being "the boss." After we had our meeting I needed to run to my other office to grab some paperwork. As soon as I stepped back in the door he began questioning my decisions again. I simply remarked with, "If you feel that way, we can set up a meeting with B." B is my higher up who I have consulted several times about the issue. I know that B stands behind my decision.

So knowing all of that, and knowing that I have done no wrong, why am I feeling like I am the one who will be "attacked" in the meeting? I know that I have done nothing wrong. I know that I do my job, and I know that B as well as the judges are very pleased with me. I know that I do all that I can to help my students succeed. So why am I nervous? I know exactly what he will say to B so I have thought out my answers ahead of time. I don't want him to think we are attacking him. That is not my goal. I want to be able to have an adult, professional conversation with this guy without him bringing up my age or "lack of life experience." Every time he says that I want to point out his "lack of a degree in education" and his lack of "a teacher's licence." My goal is to keep my calm and have a rational discussion and have these issues resolved. I hope that we can have this meeting with B tomorrow because if I stew over this very much longer my composure will be out the window by the time the meeting comes around.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

How Rude!

In the words of Stephanie Tanner I would like to say, "How Rude!" to the owners of the CCC in Waterloo.

Every Tuesday Ayron plays indoor soccer. An elderly couple that I have known forever (used to go to the same church) come every week to watch their two grandsons play with Ayron. D had some serious health issues last winter and is lucky to be alive. I seriously am amazed that he is still alive. His wife, S, is spunky. Well, due to his age and health, D has a handicapped plate. Last night when they got to the CCC, there weren't any empty handicapped spaces. S parked as close as she could, but they were still forced to walk a good distance in the rain, wind, snowy mixture we had last night. On her way into the building she realized that one of the trucks that was parked funny across a handicapped space didn't have a handicapped plate or a tag hanging in the front window. Once they got inside, they told all of this to their daughter. Their daughter, obviously upset, went to the front desk to ask that they find the owner of the truck and ask them to move it. Turns out the truck belongs to the owners of the CCC and they were there picking up their kids.

Seriously people, if your legs work just fine and you don't have a handicapped plate or tag, park and walk! Especially at a place where there are only 3 handicapped spaces. Don't take the last one just because you own the building. Stop and think about the 80 year old man who is coming to watch his grandsons play. This man lives for Tuesday nights when he can see his grand kids excel at something they love. YOUR LEGS WORK, SO USE THEM!

I don't know why I am so worked up about this, but I just am. It is plain rude! Had it been another player I would have just accepted ignorance, but since it was the owner, come on now! HOW RUDE!!!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007


Well, I finally have a day student!! Yeah!! The school gave me two books and basically gave me free reign on what to do. The Health curriculum I am doing just like the teacher, so it really doesn't take a lot on my part. I have her doing on-line quizzes and tests and the grades get emailed to me (I know, lazy way out, but like dad says, "Work smarter, not harder!"). She is also in Pre-Algebra. Not a big deal you say? Well, they gave me a book and said, "Start on Chapter 5." Ok, I thought, I can do this. Only to discover that I don't have an answer key to the book exercises. I have assigned a set of book exercises for each section as well as a worksheet for each. I found the worksheets on line and many of them came with answer keys (yes!!). However, I don't have a teacher book. I have spent all afternoon doing Pre-Algebra. It is actually kind of fun. If anyone tells Mrs. Gearhart I admitted that, I'll deny it. I am wondering why I didn't pay more attention when I had Mr. Disque in middle school. Probably because we were too busy shoving C.M. out the window.

I have not only assigned my student homework, but myself as well. My goal is to stay 3 sections ahead of her in making the answer keys. This should be a fun 9 weeks.

Get Out There And Vote!!

I am going to admit that this will be my first time voting. I never registered. Don't bother hassling me about it, Ayron's done it enough. When we bought the house last November and I went to change my license, I finally registered. I don't have some profound reason as to why I never did, I just never did. I am curious about the whole process, so today should be a learning experience. I even made sure I knew where to vote. was helpful with that information. I do think parking will be an issue for me though. I am hoping to go early in the morning before work to avoid any rush.

I was talking with my co-workers about the upcoming elections and I began to formulate a thought. I wish that you could vote in not only the county/city you live in, but also for the elections in the county/city you work in. The officials that are elected here in Steuben County will not effect my home life, but they could have dramatic effects on my work life. I wonder how that would change voting.


Monday, November 05, 2007


My job comes with a lot of authority. I can handle that when it comes to the kids, parents, and most of my staff. I do have a problem exhibiting my authority over my older staff. I am guessing it comes from my belief in "respecting your elders."

I have been noticing some things about my older staff and anyone who knows who I am talking about knows this isn't a new thing. I have decided that I will not tolerate this persons attitude, remarks, etc any more. There was an incident this morning that I would have normally let slide (sure I would have vented to K in an email, but who doesn't) but it happened in front of a student and my older staff kept pursuing the matter after I politely said we would discuss it later. This person doesn't respect my authority because of my age, which is probably part of the reason I find it hard to stand my ground.

I raised several issues I have been having with my boss in hopes of guidance, but my boss is not a confrontational type person either. I know that as soon as I try to talk to the older staff on my own it will go in one ear and out the other. I don't want to pass this off to my boss, but I am afraid that is the only way I can get through to this person. I also know that if I have to go that route, the other person will respect me even less because I had to use someone else to get my point across.

Any suggestions?!?

Friday, November 02, 2007

I love my job...

but it seems like with every giant step forward I get knocked on my butt. I really do love my job. It is frustrating and I know that I do complain. I have it pretty easy, I know that. Up until this last week I was really frustrated and was ready to set a meeting with my boss about somethings that had to change. This week, without any prompting from me, my boss made those changes. I had my evaluation on Wednesday and it went really well. I had another talk with him yesterday about going on the county insurance and my raise. Again, that went spectacular. He came over and helped me do some tech stuff I had no clue how to do. It was great. We sat and talked about up coming programs and who would be best to oversee them, etc. He even point blank asked me, "What do I need to do to make sure you stay here?" I was blown away! It's nice to be wanted and needed. I don't mean to sound like I am bragging about myself, but it was a mood lifting day, especially after everything that went wrong last night.

When I finally got around to leaving last night, one of the after school kids still wasn't here. I was confused. I had talked to the parent earlier in the day and even though yesterday was a half day, the parent knew the kid had the program. I waited until 4:30, still no sign of the kid. I called the probation officer to report the absence only to learn that the kid had been arrested ten minutes earlier for battery. I was devastated. I do believe the kid had it in them to batter, but not their own mother. I guess I was wrong. This kid was 8 days from being done in the program and getting back to life. 8 days. I was very frustrated with this kid. I have spent time since May (they have been in the program for awhile, but were finally getting their act together, or so I thought) creating a mentorship with this kid. Grades and attendance were steady and improving, drug use had stopped. It's time like these I feel like a failure. I keep thinking, did we ever talk about the relationship they had with their mom? Could I have noticed anything that would have stopped the situation? I know that all of this is out of my hands and many of these kids have impulse problems, but it is still so frustrating.