Monday, June 25, 2007

I Believe In

This is a post I published for my other blog but I liked it so much I wanted to publish it here too.

I believe [in]...
love that conquers all.
a God that is bigger than we can imagine.
the power of prayer.
true friendships lasting through time and troubles.
that the sun should never set upon an argument.
the power of music lyrics.
we place our happiness in other people's hands.
that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you.
that good people can do bad things.
that bad people can do good things.
your parents did the best job they knew how to do.
the rite to be upset at someone.
that beauty magazines promote low self esteem.
retail therapy (to an extent).
I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone.
praying together.
Karma, what you give is what you get returned.
that IM chatting can be just as therapeutic as therapy.
you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned.
the power of a cat nap.
the grass is no more greener on the other side.
my past makes me strong.
you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye.
not having regrets, only learning opportunities.
that trust is more important than monogamy.
praying for strangers.
your most attractive features are your heart and soul.
that God should "mess us up" (thanks Adam).
that family is worth more than money or gold.
that adults are simply children masquerading.
the struggle for financial freedom is unfair.
the only ones who disagree are millionaires.
doing one random act of kindness a day.
forgiveness is the key to your happiness.
that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed.
that God does not endorse TV evangelists.
learning from others mistakes.
love surviving death into eternity.
that every person should have a loving home.
that sometimes a knowing look is more powerful than an hour of speech.
that CEO's make way too much money and should share.
Europeans have it figure out.
in the power of blogging.
expressing yourself, however you see fit.
taking a sick day just to stay home together.
tithing in nontraditional ways.
in the power of my mind.

Weekend Update with Carma

Ok, so it won't be nearly as funny at the Weekend Update on SNL, but still.

Is it sad when you can't remember what you did on Friday evening? Oh, we just hung out at home. So I guess nothing exciting to report about there huh?!

On Saturday I got two new tires put on the car (insert ohh and ahh's here). I took Scooter with me to Ayron's work. His new employee used to work for the tire center in Wal-Mart so he took my car over. Scooter managed to pass the time dusting the floor and eating any dust bunnies he could find! When I got home I noticed the occasional wet spot outside the bathroom had gotten worse. When Ayron got home we took a brief nap only to realize that we had overslept and the wet spot grew. He lifted the carpet outside the bathroom and to make a long story short, we think the tub is leaking. While we didn't make it to church, we did go out to eat with Nathan, Emily, and Adam. It was nice to have some time to just chat with a small group of people. We ended up going to see Evan Almighty with Adam. That movie is hilarious! I would recommend it to anyone. SHEEP!!!

We spend Sunday cleaning up around the house. I made Ayron do some yard work with me. We have some type of odd weed (at least I think its a weed) that keeps coming back. I managed to pull a bunch out by hand and Ayron just cut the rest down. After we weeded along side our garage we discovered that we had another Hosta plant there. I felt like that redneck joke, "If you mow your yard and find a car, you might be a redneck!" We had Jake and Kianne over for dinner and it was nice to have a good time without going out!

So I guess I lead a pretty boring life. Oh well, it works for me!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Seriously?! For Real!

I thought I'd take a quick minute to blog today. I am currently waiting for my second lap top to turn on and detect the wireless in my house (by house I mean my office). You should see my desk right now. I have two laptops set up (one stays here in the house, the other one travels with me) because I need to transfer some reports I did at home yesterday, from laptop number two, to my desktop. So here I sit. Two laptops, one desktop, one pencil caddy, one stapler, two printers, one fax machine, and several papers surround me. I am a bit overwhelmed today. I am doing my best to not have an emotional panic attack.

I did a presentation last night with my boss to the American Legion. My boss and I were talking before our presentation and I discovered that I have a meeting tomorrow morning with probation about one of my employees. I know we are going to discuss said employees behavior, yet I am nervous about the meeting. I am afraid his stupid actions will reflect badly on me. I have to keep reminding myself that I am not him. I have discussed a similar matter with him before, and he chose not to change. That is not my fault. I just have this fear that I will be attacked in this meeting. I have already created a plan of action to resolved the problem, so why am I so nervous about tomorrows meeting? I guess it's because I'm the type of person who likes to please everyone. I feel like I have failed. I was so eager to hire this person and I don't think it is going to work out. I have been praying about this whole situation for awhile (I kind of figured it would come to a head, regardless of my talk with employee). As I was driving home last night I felt like I was living the Barlow Girl's song "Never Alone." I actually found myself praying the lyrics to God. It went something like this.

"Ya know, I waited for you today. But you didn't show. I've needed you lately, so where have you been? You told me you'd meet me, yet I feel like you skipped out. And though I haven't seen you , are you still there? I know you are, but I can't feel you. I believe that you are, but I am looking to You for guidance. I need help. There, I said it. I get it. I can't do this on my own. I know that now. How much more broken can I be? (by this point it is important to note that I was not only thinking about the work situation but some other stuff I have been dealing with). I can't feel you by my side, so I'll hold tight to what I know. You're here and I'm never alone. And though you're invisible I'll trust the unseen. I am handing it all over. I am tired of thinking I can do this on my own. I'm done. Take it, it's Yours. Help me."

When I got home, I felt better. I touched the worry tree, and went inside. The worry tree is something Ayron's boss has started. We were telling B that we each bring home so much worry from work that we drag each other down telling our worries. Before we enter the house, we touch the worry tree, and place all of our worries on it. The tree is strong enough to hold them. We leave them outside. It sounds corny, but it works. I didn't sleep that well, but I do feel slightly better about my meeting tomorrow after talking to my boss this morning. I have to keep reminding myself that I did not screw up. I have a plan, I need to put that plan into action.


The meeting went great this morning. It wasn't as big of a deal as they made it seem. It was between me, my boss and one other person. It was very calm and a huge weight off my shoulders. When will I learn that I don't have to do anything?

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

I'm a Professional

I got a letter in the mail at work yesterday. Here is a brief overview of the letter.

"It is my pleasure to inform you that you are being considered for inclusion into the 2007/2008 Cambridge Who's Who Among Executives and Professionals in Healthcare "Honors Edition" section of the registry."

So apparently, someone thinks I work in healthcare. I tried to fill out the stuff on line, but the site is having problems. I think I'll actually fill out the snail mail card and submit it. It's free, and I think it would be hysterical if I got in.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Here's Your Sign

As Ayron and I were leaving Applebees, an elderly couple was coming in. Ayron held the door open for the man. The man was wearing an oxygen mask and pulling the big oxygen canister. The hostess asked, "Just the two of you? Smoking or non?"


Friday, June 15, 2007

Downtown Statues

Auburn has some new residents, well, at least until September. This is an excerpt from the local paper.

"AUBURN — More than two dozen life-like guests arrived in Auburn Thursday to stay for the summer.For the next three months, the figures in J. Seward Johnson’s bronze sculptures will catch local residents and tourists off guard with their realism.Warren Johnson of Auburn said he did a “double-take” when he first noticed one of the sculptures of a little girl. Johnson was snapping photos of the sculptures this morning.“I thought I would get out here before the crowd,” Johnson said, adding that he is in awe of the sculptures. “It’s unbelievable what you can do with metal,” he said.The art work is part of Sculptures on the Square, a three-month exhibit sponsored by the Auburn Arts Commission Inc. in partnership with the Fort Wayne Museum of Art and the Indiana University-Purdue University, Fort Wayne, School of Visual and Performing Arts.The exhibit features 20 statues portraying people and children engaged in everyday activities such as talking on a park bench, mowing or tying a shoelace."

Most of the statues are placed around the DeKalb County Courthouse square and within walking distance of downtown, with two more at Eckhart Public Library on South Jackson Street and one at the Auburn Cord Duesenberg Museum on Wayne Street.Dylan Tatman, 10, of Corunna, found the sculptures fascinating. He stood outside his parents’ coffee shop — Brewdaily’s on South Main Street — this morning and stared at the sculptures for several minutes.“I think the guy who made them — he really put a lot of hard work into it,” Tatman said. “He really wanted to get this done. He didn’t want to waste any time.”Looking at a sculpture of a boy and girl facing each other with an ice cream cone in their hands, Tatman particularly admired the detail of the girl’s white dress.Like many who observed the statues this morning, Tatman thought the sculptures looked real. He mentioned that he saw several cars one block west of the courthouse stop to let what they believed was a elderly lady with shopping bags cross the street. But the lady is really one of the statues.“I think they look real,” agreed Ruby Coburn of Hamilton.“I was impressed by their clothes,” said Coburn’s sister, Joan Steffen of Leo, while on her way to work at Campbell and Fetter Bank in Auburn. “I thought they were pretty cool.”“I think they will bring people in from other towns,” said Jeanne Stephens of Waterloo as she headed to work at the courthouse Friday morning.Organizers expect the exhibit to attract visitors from all over the Midwest. The project has been widely promoted through area and regional travel and tourism publications. The exhibit will coincide with the annual Auburn Cord Duesenberg Festival over Labor Day weekend.Auburn is one of only four cities in the world displaying Seward’s statues this summer. They also will be in Florida, North Carolina and Cortina, Italy.Numerous activities will take place in DeKalb County in conjunction with the exhibit, including a fine arts day camp, Arts in the Libraries programs, a series of art lectures and a summer art book club."

I happen to personally know Dylan, so the fact that he is in the paper is really cool.
Ayron and I were coming home from the library, and I had an idea, but I don't know who to pitch the idea too. I am thinking about contacting the editor of the paper, but let me know if you can think of anyone else to contact. I think it would be interesting to hold a writing contest. Have people pick their favorite statue and write a brief story about the person in the statue. What are they doing, thinking, saying, etc. Then, after a certain amount of time, have a panel of judges choose the top three stories for each statue. Then, it could be published in a book. I think I'm gonna email my idea to the editor right now.


On Friday night Ayron and I went out with his parents and then took a walk around downtown. I love the statues. I agree with Michael and Natty's comments. BTW Todd, no, none of your tax money was spent to increase the artsy awareness of Auburn. It was fun to see all of the people out and about. We ran into so many people and even stopped to have some popcorn at "Martha's Popcorn" stand.

I did send my idea to the editor as well as the Auburn Arts Commission and here is the email I got back from the AAC

"Thanks for the great idea.I have passed it on to the members of the Arts Commission and we are looking for a sponsor to see if the writing program can be carried out. I'm so glad that you liked the sculptures. "

Hopefully something will come out of it, if not, at least I can say that I tried.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


I am frustrated, and what is even more frustrating is the fact that I can't pin point the source of my frustration. I think it is a combination of things. I'm sure part of it is due to my boredom. I have read so many books in the past week that I really don't want to read any more today. I feel like I am never going to get the hang of this stupid program that we use for work. I got tracked down and "talked to" about how I didn't enter something right in the stupid program. I want to be happy for those around me for their accomplishments, yet I feel fake because deep down I'm upset that I wasn't successful in the same thing.

I don't know how to deal with this frustration. Normally I'd take the dog for a walk, but it is way to hot out for him. I could read, but I've already read way too much lately. I'd drink, but we all know that is not a good coping mechanism. I could take up smoking if I didn't despise it so much (ask me my theory on smoking some time). I could wallow in some retail therapy, but that is costly. Maybe I'll try taking a nap.

100 Things That Make Me Happy

* These are in no particular order
1. Ayron
2. Friends
3. Cheese popcorn with a cherry Coke
4. My "boys" Scooter and Charlie
5. scrap booking
6. taking walks
7. flying kites
8. memories
9. purses
10. shoes
11. family
12. pudding
13. roses
14. sunshine
15. sleeping
16. a good laugh
17. McKenna
18. Madison
19. Marisa
20. surviving a rough week
21. picnic in the park
22. quiet moments alone
23. Hot chocolate; anything chocolate for that matter
24. long afternoon naps in my hammock
25. golfing - but only when Phil and I have cart races(FYI: Ayron is way to big to ride on theback of the cart where the bags go)
26. Unexpected flower deliveries
27. blogging
28. Getting a refund instead of paying the IRS
29. Lazy Sunday afternoons
30. Napping with my nieces
31. Mudding
32. Sunday afternoon flying kites with friends
33. Left over stuffed crust pizza
34. Being able to see the bottom of the laundry hamper
35. Cool shower after getting a sunburn
36. Listening to music at work
37. Colored pens
38. An afternoon in Borders
39. Used books from
40. Chatting with Kianne during work hours
41. Sleeping in till 7
42. A freshly made bed
43. Being organized
44. Giving Scooter a belly rub
45. Working on the house
46. Watching Charlie try to hop/run on tile floors
47. A phone call from my nieces
48. Flipping through an LTD magazine
49. Imagining the future
50. Sechler's dill pickles
51. Mt. Dew
52. Longer lunch breaks with the kids on Friday
53. My new addiction: Crystal Light Energy (Wild Strawberry)
54. Pay Day Friday's
55. QUEST Friday's
56. Remembering
57. Sleep overs
58. Grey's Anatomy
59. George (my body pillow and yes, he is named after George from Grey's Anatomy)
60. Long afternoon walks with Scooter
61. Smelling the lilacs in my yard
62. Friday's chocolate break
63. My cow mailbox: even though it is broken and leaks and will soon be replaced
64. Working Algebra problems with students (If anyone tells my old Algebra teacher this.....)
65. Any day when a kid doesn't vomit at work
66. Macaroni and Cheese
67. Brand new box of Crayola crayons
68. Midnight jumping parties in the moonwalk
69. " dropped this." "No I didn't."
71. Ayron singing me my night time song
72. Monday morning "catch up" chats with friends
73. Afternoon jump sessions with my nieces (playing crack the egg with Madison)
74. Watching a student experience a "ah ha" moment during Algebra time
75. Afternoon chit chats with Nikki
76. Music
77. Driving with the windows down and the radio up
78. Goldfish crackers79. Our rotating dinner party group
80. Watching the rain
81. Live radio over the Internet (makes the work day much better)
82. Gardening (although you couldn't tell if you look at my yard now)
83. Bob Evans Cobb Salad (minus the bleu cheese)
84. The Fraggle Rock theme song (cast your cares away, worries for another day)
85. Kroger brand kettle corn
86. Watching bad 80's movies with Ayron
87. Mowing the yard
88. Fuzzy Bunnies (the marshmallow game)
89. Finding the toilet seat has been put down and the toilet paper has been refilled
90. Foaming hand soap sale at Bath and Body Works
91. Giraffes
92. Zebras (If you don't know why, then how well do you really know me?)
93. When everyone else is happy
94. Growing older (age wise) but staying young (at heart)
95. Sales
96. Learning something new
97. When I realize that I have become an adult and it is not that bad
98. Christmas get togethers with the family
99. Playing UNO with grandma (haven't been able to do that in years)
100. Two lines, eventually

Monday, June 11, 2007

Thinking About Summer Camp

Check this out.

I know the camp director and the video's director. Both are totally cool people!

Summer Reading

It has been several years since I have been able to participate in the library's summer reading club. I picked up some books a week ago today and here is what I have read so (I can't believe I have read this much in just a week. I have stopped watching tv though, so that helps) far, along with my very unprofessional opinions.

I Feel Bad About My Neck- Nora Ephron
The author was on an episode of Oprah. While the book had some very funny parts (Natalee, you must get this book and read Chapter 2. YOU MUST) Towards the end it just seems like she is rambling about aging. It is funny though, and a quick read.

The Teacher's Funeral: A Comedy in Three Parts- Richard Peck
I loved his Year Down Yonder so I thought this one sounded just as great, and it was. I know it is classified as a children's book, but it is on the suggested reading list that the state department of ed. put out. It is very cute and someone in the 5th or 6th grade would enjoy it.

A Girl Named Zippy- Haven Kimmell
Also very totally cool! I really love it because it is a woman's true memories about growing up in Indiana. She refers to Muncie as "the big city." I like the setting and it is a cool story. It does have its spots where she backtracks a lot, but it is a really cute book.

Fade to Black- Alex Flinn
A really cool book. It is about a high school junior who has just moved to a new school, and though the school wasn't supposed to, they told all of the students that he is HIV positive. It is about his struggle to be accepted. He struggles with the truth through the book, and as they say, "the truth shall set you free." It is a very good book and even has a section in the back for a discussion about diversity and acceptance. I would like to use it in a freshman English class.

True Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet- Lola Douglas
This book is in the young adult section and it is very much a teenage girl's book. Here is the cool part. The main character is a hollywood star going out of control. Her mother and manager send her to Ft. Wayne for a year to avoid the press. She is enrolled in Snider High School and Lola does a great job of actually incorporating true details about Ft. Wayne. Anyone wanna guess where she has her first meal? Yep, Casa's. She has breakfast at Cindy's diner. Binges on Munchie's Scobby Snacks. I was in love with this book because it was interesting to read about Ft. Wayne in a fictional book.
"Teen star Morgan Carter’s mom is trying to kill her. At least, that’s what Morgan thinks when she’s sent to Ft. Wayne, Indiana after a near overdose outside LA’s Viper Room.Morgan’s going to recover out of the spotlight. Way out. She’s given a major make-under, a new name, and a completely different identity. Morgan’s plan? To write a tell-all book about her experience and stage a comeback. But when this LA girl finds love and a new life in Middle America, will she abandon it for another shot at superstardom?"
I did some digging and found out that the author lived in Ft. Wayne for 5 months. No wonder she got everything right, down to the costumes at the Johnny Appleseed Festival!

The Every Boy- Dana Shapiro
I am in the middle of this book now. I hope to finish it by noon. A boy's body washes up on shore. His parents only begin to really learn about him when his journal mysteriously appears. They thought they new their child, but as they read through his life, they realize they didn't know him at all.

Paris "Who Cares" Hilton

I am sick of all the Paris Hilton publicity. I was watching the Sunday Morning Show on CBS and Ben Stein did an excellent editorial type monologue. I am going to search for it on the net today, but for now, here is what it boils down to.

Why do we care so much about Paris Hilton and her crazy antics and why is so much of our news time devoted to her when there are a million other people who need our time and attention?

That is one thing I really don't like about our country. Why do we idolize someone who obviously has addiction problems and struggles with obeying the most basic laws? These people are not good role models for our youth, yet me give them a ton of time on tv and space in our magazines. No wonder our youth has problems. They see people like Paris doing stupid stuff and getting away with it (I don't consider her jail sentence a harsh punishment) so they think they can. It just disgusts me.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Ever Wonder Why?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place

Thursday, June 07, 2007

The Truth

They always say "the truth will set you free." I am going to hope that this theory is true. Some people know, others don't. We haven't been keeping it a secret, but we haven't been telling the whole world either.

Ayron and I are trying to conceive. I have some problems in that department (PCOS) and I have been on a specific medicine for about 4 months now. While the medicine is great at making you feel better, it does not help when there is only one pink line when you want two.

I know that my wants may not line up with God's plan. I understand that, deep down I do, but I also know how I feel. I feel beaten down. What if we never can? We can't afford adoption. I know it is very early in the stages of trying. I was on the pill for several years because of my PCOS and that can mess with things as well.

So why is it when I talk to people, they don't admit how crappy this whole process is. I am sick of hearing, "It will take time." I know it will, but you saying that doesn't help my present mood. Why can't people come out and say, "That sucks. I'm sorry." I have one friend who is great at that, and she is the first person I call or talk to after one pink line emerges.

I guess it comes down to my wants vs. God's plan for my life. I just wish that I firmly knew what His plan was. Is it in his plans for us to be parents? I hope so. I really don't know if I could handle being told that I couldn't have children. I would probably have a mental break down and they would have to lock me up in the hospital where mom works, and that wouldn't help my mental state any.

It is really frustrating to be almost 50 days late with only one freaking pink line. I have decided to take the afternoon off and spend some time reflecting and talking to Him. Maybe I am not hearing him right, I don't know. All I know is that it is really frustrating and mentally draining.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Nutting Much

I realized that I hadn't blogged lately. Well, I did yesterday, but that was just about my stats from work.

I guess there really isn't' much to report. Ayron is staying super busy with work and my work load is slowing down. I've been trying to keep myself entertained and busy at work, but at times, I find myself saying out loud, to no one, "I'm bored."

I have decided to read some books off of the summer reading list the Indiana Department of Education created. I am currently about half way through Richard Peck's The Teacher's Funeral: A Comedy in Three Parts."

Monday, June 04, 2007

End of Year One

Today marks the end of the first academic school year of the Youth Improvement Day program. I did some calculations today and here is what I came up with.

This past academic year, the Youth Improvement Day Program (in its first year) helped a total of 22 students from the Steuben county schools.

Of those 22, 17 were successfully readmitted back into their base schools, which is a 77% success rate. We had 5 that were not successful due to various reasons. 3 were removed due to their actions while in YIDP. 2 were removed due to probation reasons.

I guess 77% isn't bad. I'd like it to be higher, but considering the students I work with, I guess anything above the failing percentage is good. I am going to make it my goal to have at least an 80% success rate next year. I know that is only a 3% jump, but in this field, with these kids, that is a lot. I should feel glad and proud of my accomplishments, but I will admit that I was a little let down when I did the math and it only came out to be a 77%.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Going Back In Time

I have decided to do something creative for my dad's birthday present. I never know what to get him, so I decided to make something. While I'm not going to reveal what it is, I can tell you that the process allowed me to talk about, and view the past.

My Dad never talked about his dad. Grandpa was killed in a car accident at the intersection where the Wal-Mart distribution center is now (a long time ago). I knew that he was in the service, but didn't know what branch. I had never even seen a picture of him. If I brought up the subject in the past, the topic was quickly changed. Going to the cemetery this past weekend to plant flowers sparked this idea. I asked my dad to find some old pictures of his parents. I asked him about significant dates, etc. He managed to find a couple of old pictures. It is odd to see your grandpa for the first time in a photograph. To look at him, knowing he is/was your grandpa and be amazed by his dimples (that must be where my dad gets it). Turns out he was in the Navy. My favorite picture is him in his Navy hat. The back of the picture reads "Unfinished Proof: Property of Griffith Studio. Purchase Price 50 cents each."

I have fallen in love with these photos. My grandmother was gorgeous. My grandpa was handsome. These people are my grandparents. I grew up knowing my grandmother, but in a grandmother way. It is wonderful to see these photos of her when she was younger. I only wish I could have had the chance to see them together.

I had thought about scanning these photos in and making copies to use, but I think the slightly yellowed edges, and watermarks make them unique. I will make a copy for myself to keep though, but I'm going to use the originals for the project.

Leave It To Natalee

I got an interesting voicemail from my sister this morning. This is a voicemail I'd expect to get from Michael, not Natalee, but none the less, she decided to share her thoughts with me.

"Have you ever wondered where squirrels poop? Do they climb up into trees and aim at humans?"