Scared Poopless

With only once week of college left, I am beginning to be scared poopless (trying to cut back on the swearing). I think my anxiety comes from the fact that after like 18 years of schooling, I'll temporarily be done (those continuing education credits to keep the license current) and the list of stuff I have to get done in this next week!

1.) Type last paper for Chaucer class that I forgot about (Check)
2.) Type last journal for African Lit (Check)
3.) Study and take my verbal test for middle English
4.) Study for and Take African Lit final
5.) After Friday (when it's posted) write and send Chaucer final
6.) Take the Praxis Test for my license on Saturday
7.) Call families to set up tutoring appointments
8.) Find summer job to suppliment tutoring money
9.) Sew (who am I kidding), have mom sew my color on my gown
10.) Figure out who is actually coming to graduation
11.) Walk across that stage (with my honors cords damn it, opps...) grab my diploma and run!!!!!!!!

Holy Crapy Batman, We've Lost Track of Time!

Well, I have done something today that I have never done. I don't have a paper done on time! I have never turned a paper in late, but I guess that no longer holds true. I thought that I had one more week before "dead" week here on campus to do my final paper for my Chaucer class. I looked at a calander today during my 4th period class (keep in mind it was silent reading day) and I want "Oh crap!" So I frantically emailed the prof and explained that I momentarily couldn't read a calendar and had screwed up! I am hoping the fact that I actually attend class and have turned in all the other paper's on time will make him a kind and gentle man! I've been off all day because of this!

Oh a better note. We found out that when Ayron hits 90 days he gets insurance! Oh, he also gets $100 for every mower he sells, and he sold one Saturday! Yeah, thats an extra $100 bucks to put towards medical bills!!

Well I should get to class so I can pretend to pay attention while I work on this stupid late paper!!

Funny New Saying

I would just like to state that while I hate the word "retard" and I never use it, especially around my students (they use it all the time, but the teachers don't), it fits this saying.

"I feel like a retard playing with a doornob. I just keep starring at it and nothing happens."

This was said by one of Ayron's soccer players after their game last night. They put a defenseman in as a forward and he could get close, but nothing would happen. When they brought him off the field, he said "Man I feel like a retard playing with a doornob. I couldn't get anything to happen!"

Yet Another Stolen

blog post from my sister

ABC'S of Me

Accent: I don't think I have one. Sometimes I say "y'all" but I think that is out of laziness.

Booze of choice: Winecoolers and Amaretto Sours

Chore I hate: Garbage

Dog or cat: The dog is no more, yet my two cats live with my mom

Essential electronics: cell phone

Favorite perfume(s): I tend to just wear body spray from Bath and Body Works.

Gold or Silver: Silver

Hometown: Auburn, Indiana.

Insomnia?: not lately

Job Title: Instructional Aide and Student

Kids?: Nope. Soon enough (no thats not some hint that I have one in the oven now)

Living Arrangement: With Ayron at his parents house (its huge and we have our own rooms so its cool

Most admired trait: To create something out of nothing. Oh my ability to waste large amounts of time procrastinating

Number of Sexual Partners: 1

Overnight Hospital Stays: I spent two very early mornings in the ER

Phobia: Fire, deep water, tornados

Religion: Christian- nondemoninational

Siblings: One older sister

Time I wake up: 6:15

Unusual talent/skill: I deal cards for Vegas nights

Vegetable I refuse to eat: brussel sprouts and squash, oh and peas are gross

Worst habit: Procrastination

Yummy foods I make: Pies, cakes, brownies, turtles

Zodiac sign: Cancer or Leo, I'm on the cusp, sometimes I'm not even listed

Reconciliation

I have been thinking about trying to reconnect with a friend that has severed ties with me. The strange thing is I don't know what I did to make her feel this way. Our lives got busy and we lost touch and suddenly she want to completly cut ties. It hurts, I'll admit. And while the past two months have been ok with out her, I still find myself wanting to call her or tell her about stuff that I think she'd like. I think I'll write her a letter. I just feel stuck. She is not the person she once was, but I can't figure out if her change has been for the worse so I don't know why I feel the way I feel. It's akward to see her around town. I shouldn't be scared, its not like she could hurt me (not that she wants to). I just hate the akwardness. Its not like I want to state my peace in a letter, but in a way I do. I just want her to know what I'm feeling, not tell her off or anything. Sometimes I think growing up and being a reflective thinker sucks.

So Close...

yet so far! I bought my cap and gown yesterday. It was cool, but now it's scary! I would like to add that I will be the mismatched queen at graduation. Black gown, powder blue tassel, and gold honors cords! Oh well. Anyways, back to my point. I am realizing the end is near and yet the beginning is near as well. I'm ending school, yet I'm beginning my life as an "adult." I have so much left to get done this semester that it seems like the light at the end of the tunnel is disappearing. I have 2 papers to write, a book to read, two finals, a Praxis II, and a oral reading exam. Yikes. I wish I could pause life while I finished everything.

I got my Easter present yesterday. Ayron bought me a fishing pole and a kite. Our pond has been recently stocked and I have gotten into fishing. So I was all excited to get a pole (It's called a "Shakespeare" how appropriate) and luers only to go home to find out the 8 fish we added to the pond are now spawning and we can't scare them off by fishing so I can fish for 3 weeks. Bummer. So I put together my kite and flew it for awhile. It's very relaxing.

I'm excited about Monday. I have been asked to join Omicron-Psi and my induction ceremony is Monday. I'll get my honors cord and a certificate that verifies my "smartness." Kind of cool that someone thinks I'm smart. Most of the time I feel like I'm just BSing my way through life and sooner or later it will bite me in the butt.

The End Is Near

Well I looked up all of the commencement crap today and I am freaking out. The end is really here isnt it? Yikes!! I inquired some more about the job at the high school in the district I work. (what that doesn't make sense does it!Oh well). Its just a sit and wait game. Yuck. I am so freaking worked up about getting all of my shit in line before graduation...grrr

What The...

Heck! I thought that Will and Grace was supposed to be a funny show! Now I know that Karen and Jack are supposed to be the uber funny ones, but last night sucked funny wise. Yes, it was intersting, but come one, no where near funny!

A Fun Way To Kill Time...

I've discovered a fun way to pass the time, not like a have a lot of free time, but still. It's funny to use the Yahoo Personals to look up how many people you graduated with have posted a file. It's even funnier to look at what they wrote about themselves. Take J.S. I laughed my head off. I use to know this guy. His profile, is NOT him! I could go on for days, but lets just say that he has some issues that no female needs to waste her time helping him through! Then theres B I went to school with this guy. The only thing I remember is that he once dyed his hair the color of a tennis ball. S is a cool guy, but this picture makes him look like a bug or something!! NK's parents live down the road from me and I went to school with him. This guy is a tank! I say that as a good thing. On our 8th grade spring break trip he managed to grow a beard that most grown men would be envoius of!

I just wonder if some people look at the pictures they post of themselves. Come on! Everyone is going to see this so why don't they make it a good one??

Where I'm at...

in my life can be determined by the following song (yes, its another Rascal Flatt's cd....laugh if you want...ok, now stop...)

Stand

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless, like you’ve lost your fight
But you’ll be alright, you’ll be alright

Chorus: ‘Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you’re made of
You might bend ‘til you break
‘Cause it’s all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad, you get strongWipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand

Life’s like a novel with the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon with only one way down
Take what you’re given before it’s gone
And start holdin’ on, keep holdin’ on
Every time you get up and get back in the race
One more small piece of you starts to fall into place – yeah
Yeah then you stand – yeah


I don't know if I'm actually at the point of standing up yet. To some people, being down on their knees is a frustrating experience. I am that type of person, but I also learn and discover the most when I'm down and broken. I guess I'm just trying to figure out where my life is leading me. I know what I want to do with my life, but is that what God has in store for me? What about Ayron? I don't know...I should probably get my butt to class, afterall I wasted the gas to get down here.

Song Lyrics

Having indulged myself in the new Rascal Flatt's cd, I was pleasantly surprised to hear the following song:

He Ain't The Leavin' Kind

They tried their best to drag him out
Of a courthouse down in Montgomery
And now they wanna kick him out of school
And take him off our money
They can take those words off of paper and stone
But he aint gone, no

Chorus: He aint the leavin kind
Hed never walk away
Even from those who dont believe
And wanna leave him behind
He aint the leavin kind

She stayed mad at him for a lot of years
For takin her husband
Started losin her faith
And thinkin that her life meant nothin
But when she looks at those kids she raised all by herself
She knows she had some help, yeah she knows
No matter what you do
No matter where you go
Hes always right there with you

Even from those who dont believe
And wanna leave him behind
He aint the leavin kind
No, no
He aint the leavin, he aint the leavin kind
He aint the leavin kind
He aint the leavin kind

It's is always cool to me to hear a song with a christian theme on a secular cd. While some people would question the bands religious beliefs I just choose to say that it's a cool song! It seems that the lines of music are being blurred more and more these days. As I was driving to work this morning on WBCL (a local christian radio station) they were playing Carrie Underwood's song "Jesus Take The Wheel." I guess after the day I've had (lab, 8th graders, bunson burners, yikes) it was cool to hear that song.

Spring Break

Well spring break has come and gone and yet the nice weather has yet to appear. Lets see if I can correctly recap Spring Break '05

Friday-Sunday
Spent at the convent with the groovy sisters in Grand Rapids. Came out to the car on Sunday morning to discover a flat tire. Spent the afternoon putzing around the mall while Firestone repaired our tires, thanks to mom's "emergency" credit card.

Sunday-Tuesday
House sat for a fmaily friend in a nice house. Learned how to play 9 ball. Kicked Ayron's butt a couple of times (just because he scratched on the last shot). Took care of barfy and shitzy, the two dogs. Those are not their actual names, but somehow both of the wound up sick.

Wednesday THE BIG DAY
I had my surgery. I almost ran away till I realized they had stolen my underwear in a mean attempt to keep me there. After an hour of freaking out and crying and one "googoo" shot later, I was feeling good and willingly let them operate. Good thing too. Turns out I had a gallstone the size of a ping pong ball. Funny thing is, this stone never showed on either of the extensive and expensive tests. ANyways, went home and slept it off. Got a dozen red roses and lavander (both my favorite) from the hubbie, spring bouquet from dad and "dad", and the Simpson operation game from Nat.

Thursday
I managed to take a shower and had mom removed my bellybutton gauze. I sat on the back porch and watched as dump truck after dump truck dumped dirt into piles all over our back yard. My father in law came into some extra dirt from a basement the business is digging and he got in the landscapping mood. Only he forgot to tell my mother in law that he backyard would look like a mine field had exploded at the end of the day.

Friday
Not much, layed around, slept, recooped.

Saturday
I ventured to Wal-Mart. Yippeee!! Hey, I had been trapped in the house looking at dirt!

Sunday
Frantically reread a book I had read on pain killers to come to one conclusion: The book was as confusing as I thought it was and it was not just the pain killers messing with my mind.

That's about it. yeah, exciting I know. Don't you wish you were me?