Thursday, December 28, 2006

1% (Nikki Update)

This update is mainly for a family friend of ours who is spending Christmas out west, but also for those people who read this and then pass the information on to their prayer groups. The doctor had Nikki go through another set of x-rays yesterday and finally explained why they have been doing x-ray after x-ray and why they are leaving the neck brace on, even though it rests on her broken collar bone. While I don't know the medical terms (I'm sure my Aunt L does) here is what we were told. She has a fracture at the base of her skull, where her spine stops and skull begins. 90% of people who have this type of fracture would have NEVER made it out of the car alive, let alone live long enough to be alive when the medics arrive. Out of the remaining 10%, 9% of those people are paralyzed from the neck down. Nikki falls in the 1% group. She has the injury, but is expected to heal with minor effects (I say minor because she is alive and able to move). She sent her mother home for the night (the first time since the accident that she hasn't been there) and was able to really get some rest. She did a lot of physical therapy yesterday and was really inquisitive with her father about the accident. She was asking a lot of questions and her dad kept saying, "I don't know what I'm allowed to tell you." She was able to figure out that she did wreck her grandmother's new car, but that it wasn't her fault. Her emotions are back, so between figuring that out and realizing she was in the 1%, she cried a lot. She did partially pass her swallow test. She couldn't swallow a cracker, heck I don't blame her. She can now have pureed food and they did take out her feeding tube. The doctor said that at this rate, it is looking really good for her discharge on the 9th. Please continue to keep her in your prayers. While I know she and Phil aren't exactly religious people, I know that prayer helps. I am hoping that this accident and realizing all of the power people's prayers have had for her will bring her closer to Christ.

Praying for Wisdom

So, I've decided to spend the morning at the local coffee shop working. But my heart isn't in it. It's really hard for me to do the work I need to do if I'm not focused, and I'm not focused. So I've decided to do some blogging as a way of prayer, and then spend some time in prayer. I'm praying for wisdom, not only for myself, but for a friend of mine. I don't know how to approach the situation, but I do know that it needs to be done. Out of my group of friends, I can think of two other people that could help me, but they are probably still sleeping. This blog is hard because I don't want to reveal too much before I go and talk to this person. I've never really "confronted" someone before, but I know that you go at it alone first, then if they don't listen, you take another brother or sister. Is it wrong that I'm scared to be the person who goes first and alone? I feel this person is blinded from the truth and I want them to see the truth, but I don't know how to uncover their eyes. I've been in a similar situation, and they helped me through it, so I never thought they would end up where I once was. I thought they were wise to that type of situation, but apparently not. So I'm praying for wisdom.

God, grant me the wisdom and the knowledge of what to say, when to say it, and how to say it. I want it to make an impact, but not destroy our friendship. I also pray that You grant them the knowledge to be open minded when it comes to what I have to say. Help them realize that I am not out to hurt, but to help.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Happy Holidays!!

Well, three Christmas parties down, one to go. We had Christmas with my dad on Saturday. It was crazy! Greg's nieces and their kids and significant others were there. We took Scooter and he did really well! He tried to play with the big collie, till he realized that in the collie's eyes, he was merely a chew toy! Ayron and I went down to the hospital on Sunday and saw Nikki. She is set to come home on the ninth. She is doing better and her physical therapy is helping. She is frustrated though because she feels she is talking slow. True, it's slower than her normal pace, but it is still at a decent speed. When we got home Ayron and I exchanged our gifts. He got me three funny t-shirts, a hoodie, a manicure set, and my big crock pot that I've been wanting. We spent Christmas morning with Mom and Natalee and then Christmas night with Ayron's parents and brother.

It is now 8:00am and I am sitting at the local coffee shop, Brew Daily, blogging and trying to get in the frame of mind to work. It is my day off and I was up at 7, I need help! I figured I'd work a bunch today and then take it easy the rest of the week.

Oh, I totally forgot about Friday night. We had our first annual Christmas semi-formal dinner at Michael's apartment. We ate dinner by candle light in his bedroom. Don't laugh. It was cool. It was Michael, Amy, Todd, Bethany, Ayron and I. It was very good! It actually helped me get in the mood to plan the Valentine's Day dinner we are going to have at our house.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Finally Feeling Like Christmas

Earlier this week, I mentioned how it doesn't feel like Christmas time, but I have had a change of heart and Scrooge had fled my brain. While I'm not feeling 100% like the holiday, I am still excited about getting together with family. I'm excited, yet stressed. We have a million things to do and I'm not sure how we are going to coordinate them all.

Friday- Dinner at Michael J's with MJ, Amy, Todd, Bethany, Joe, and Jen: I am totally looking forward to this. Actually, I really just want to see how we are all going to fit around a table in the apartment!

Saturday- Christmas with Dad, Greg, and Dr. D., and Nat. This will prove to be an adventure because I am taking Scooter with us. No big deal, but add in Dad's daschund, and Dr. D's collie, and it should be enough to drive Dad crazy!!!

Sunday- I have no clue, but I'm sure something will come up

Monday- Opening stockings with Ayron (the dog is our present to each other), Christmas with mom, Christmas at the hospital.

Next Saturday- The Reeve's Christmas.

For those of you who are not married, marriage adds another whole dimension to the holidays. You not only have your family gatherings, but theirs as well. And if you parents are divorced, that adds another layer to the confusion. Oh well, at least I don't have to come into work. That will help. I think I will work, but take the Adam approach, I will look for the moments God sends me to stop for coffee, chat on line, sit in the park, etc.

Moving on Part II

For those of you who are avid readers of my blog (all 5 of you) you may be wondering why I have been doing a lot of updating on Nikki. Here is my reasoning behind it. Many family and friends are traveling for the holiday and reading a blog is the easiest way they have of knowing how Nikki is doing. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll be back to my normal, absent minded blogarieah in no time.

But for an update. They were supposed to move Nikki down to the 4th floor, which is the Orthopedic floor, yesterday. Neuro cleared her, started her on rehab/physical therapy, and then cleared her to move. We haven't been down to see her since Sunday because Ayron and I are both fighting the ickyies. I may cave and go to the doctor tomorrow. Anyways, Nikki is very with it. She remembers things she was told after the accident, which is a really good sign that her memory is still ok. She still hasn't mentioned the accident and we haven't asked her to recall anything. She is supposed to be in the Orthopedic floor for a minimum of two weeks and max of five weeks. She is such a tough person that it wouldn't surprise me if they discharge her after a week. We are planning to have a small Christmas in the hospital with her. Hopefully the cafeteria has some good food.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006


So we all know that I like to blog and read blogs. So while I was reading Todd's I noticed the links he had set up to other blogs. I knew most of them, but one "Pain is Silence" stood out to me. Maybe it was the title, maybe it was the fact that I didn't know who was behind the blog. So I checked it out. It is written by an "unknown" teenager, although I think I know who it is. It is refreshing to read the thoughts of a teenager. Some may feel that reading the thoughts of a teenager would take all of...oh lets say 30 seconds, but no, this is different. This person has deep thoughts. It's cool to read the work of a teenager who is wise beyond their years. After reading several crappy History and Econ reports and feeling devastated about our education system, it's nice to find out that there are some teenagers who have profound thoughts. So, if you've got a lunch break to kill, or just are curious, check it out.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Something's Not Right

As I sat, grading papers this afternoon, it hit me...Christmas is only a week away. It doesn't seem like it. Maybe it's the lack of decorations in my house, or the absence of snow. Either way, do I really need things such as those to make it feel like Christmas? I have had the urge to put in my Clay Aiken (yea yea, shut up) Christmas c.d. and sing along, but it is packed away in a box. Do we, as a culture, need such frivolous and silly things to remind us that Christmas is coming? Shouldn't we feel the way we feel at Christmas all year long. Christ didn't come just for one day, he came for years, and he is still here. Shouldn't we feel grateful and full of love all year long? I'm sure some of us do, but why does it get stronger in December? I know, we are celebrating Christ's birthday, but shouldn't we celebrate Christ all year long? Since, I can't find an answer, I'll just blame it on the lack of snow.

Moving On Up...

to the seventh floor. They moved Nikki late last week and Ayron and I finally made it down to see her. Both of us have been feeling under the weather, and the last thing she needs is extra germs. She is now in the neuro wing on the hospital and they are checking for things concerning her left side of her body (where she took the impact). She still has her neck brace on, but it broke and as she says, "It stinks." They are replacing it today. The doctor is supposed to explain today what is broken and how it's broken. Is it a fracture, a clean break, etc. Hopefully, we can get some more answers and maybe she can get out of the c-collar. She does remember people and things that have been told to her since the accident (our puppy) but she hasn't asked about the accident, nor has she been asked about the accident. We don't know, what, if anything, she remembers. Maybe it is the brains wonderful way of blocking out harmful memories. I showed her husband the comment by Devery, who called 911, and he has some questions. If you have an email address, I could just email them to you, if not, we can continue our comment conversation. Let me know. My email address is

Well I finally managed to get my copy machine working again so I better make some copies before my students get here.

PS: Only 3 days of work (after today) and I'm on Christmas break. Yes, I'll still work, but I can do it from home, in my pjs.

Friday, December 15, 2006



I don't really know who you are, but I know that you are a blessing to our family!! I don't know how you were able to track me down and find out about Nikki, or as you call her, Nicole, but I am grateful you did! I don't know how to get in touch with you, but for now this works.

I would like to say thank you on behalf of my entire family. We are extremely grateful!! I am going to print out the comment you posted and take it to the hospital tonight. Just some background information you may not know, but could find interesting.

Nikki was less than a mile from home, she was going home to get ready to drive her afternoon school bus route. She is also a volunteer firefighter, medic, and president of the Spencerville Volunteer fire department. Her husband, is the assistant chief of the fire department. He heard the accident come across his pager, but he was working in Garrett at the time. The page didn't give a name, but he called Nikki to see if she was going to go on the run. When she didn't answer, he thought she didn't hear her phone. When her cousin, the head chief(they are all related somehow), got to the accident, he found her phone and realized that Phil had called her.

She is doing much better. She pulled out her feeding tube again, so they left it out. She is still in STICU, but they are planning on moving her to the 7th floor as soon as there is an open bed. They don't know when she'll be able to actually come home, but the fact that she is ok if fine enough for us.

I guess now that I've babbled enough, I'll actually try to find your blog.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Yark at School Day?!

So I'm wondering if I missed an important calendar day that all other teacher's know about. Is today "Yark at School Day?" Did I miss the memo and press conference in honor of this day? I have two students who have decided to honor the holiday by being ill. So, in a couple of minutes, my attendance will plummet to 60% of my enrollment. I'm not even passing today. Truth be told, I don't feel all that well myself. I think I'm on a Lysol high. After everyone decided to be ill, I decided to cover every surface in my "school" with a thick coating of disinfectant. Well, now that you've had your daily dose of gross out, I think I'll attempt to get back to work.

Pictures of the Puppy

We took several pictures Tuesday night so that we had pictures of Scooter to take to the hospital to show Nikki. When they move her upstairs, then we can actually take him. We did go down to the hospital last night, with Michael J and Amy (thanks for the house warming presents). She was having a MRI but they allowed us to stay after visiting hours so that we could actually see her. She is awake more, talking (although her speech is slurred), and still fiesty. She has a feeding tube, which she decided she didn't want yesterday, so she pulled it out. She yanked out her own nasal gastric feeding tube. Makes me want to sneeze just thinking about it. She was all excited when we told her we had gotten a dog. So without furthur are pictures of Scooter Reeves.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


Yesterday was a great day for Nikki. All of her tubes are out and she's doing well. She asked for applesauce, but then decided she didn't like it because they wouldn't add any cinnamon on it. So she had ice cream instead. Well I have a lot of grading to catch up on, so I better get going.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Scooter Reeves

So everyone has been telling us to have kids, since we are so great with them. So we decided to have a kid. I decided that I wasn't ready for the nine months of feeling ill, so we bought one. Scotter is our son. He is a bassett hound and he was born six weeks and four days ago. I searched on the net, and this is the closest I can find of a picture that looks like him. This is not him, but a dog that has similar markings.


Ayron's dad just called and we have good news! They took all of the breathing tubes and feeding tubes out of Nikki. She is attempting to talk, but her throat is sore. They are taking her down for another scan and all is doing very well. Thanks for the prayers.

Oh yeah, I'm ont the parent of a 6 week 4 days old basset hound named "Scooter." He is so stinkin cute!!


Here are some random things from the past couple of days. They may not make sense to you, but they'll make sense to other people.

* Apparently I have bloggereah (the blogging version of diarrhea)
* The prune eating contest would have been funny, since it wasn't me volunteering to compete
* The lounge at Parkview is not a pleasant place to try to sleep
* Thanks for all the prayers, they are working!!
* I'm getting a basset hound!

Nikki is doing better. They have drained the fluid from around her lungs and put her on an antibiotic. They are fighting a pretty big infection and fever. A new scan shows that her neck and skull may not be fractured and that her collar bone is fine, she still has three broken ribs. She is breathing on her own, but her broken ribs prevent any deep breathes so she is still on the vent for help. She has her eyes open more yesterday than in the past four days combined. She remembered Steve, the angel that pulled her from the car. She also recognizes her children's voices, which is cool but also a very tearful moment. She does recognize Ayron's voice, as well as mine. She tends to not let go of hands. She does get rambunctious. She threw a pillow at a nurse and tried to take off her heart monitor wires, so they had to soft restrain her arms again. We are all hanging in there and we know it's going to be a long recovery, but we have faith and prayers to help us through. The woman that caused the accident came to the hospital Sunday and talked to Nikki's mom and Phil, Nikki's husband.

Now on to good news, I'm getting a puppy. Maybe. We are going to check them out this morning and if we find one we like, we are getting it. We are looking at a liter of basset hound puppies. I am really excited! Well I should get ready to go see them!

Friday, December 08, 2006

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

So I was feeling a bit ill yesterday and I had this feeling that I couldn't shake. I had just commented to my students about having those feelings that just don't go away when the phone rang. It was Ayron telling me that my sister-in-Law, N, had been hit by a semi. Someone ran a stop sign and a semi swerved to miss them, but his back tires hit ice and the back of the trailer took off the front of N's brand new car. I thought I was going to vomit. I left work, met Ayron and my mother-in-law, and we picked up her kids. That was the worst moment, telling the 10 and eight year old that mommy was hit by a semi. We spent the evening in the hospital in Fort Wayne. To make a long story short, she has a broken vertebra, a fracture at the base of her skull, her collar bone is broken, and three broken ribs. They are keeping her in a medically induced coma so she can rest, and they have her on a breathing machine. So far there has been no swelling in the brain, her pupils are equal and reactive and this morning she was able to wiggle her toes and fingers.

Ayron and I were talking on the drive home and he said, "Now I know how all of those people feel in those medical shows, I always thought they were over acting, but now I get it. I was so mad that the hospital was having a Christmas party while N was just laying there, injured, swollen, etc." I started thinking about his comment while I was trying to get some sleep. I found myself being mad at God. How could He? She hadn't done anything wrong! She's the one who helps people in accidents (shes a medic and firefighter) not the one that needs help. I was so angry. I still kind of am. Why her? Why someone who has three little girls? Is this God's way of trying to bring P, N's husband, back to Him? I know that God has a plan for everything, but right now I'm not seeing it. Maybe my frustration is blinding me, maybe I'm not supposed to see it.

I would like to thank Michael J and Joe for praying with Ayron last night. Michael, a big thanks for driving half way down to the hospital to see us. I'd like to apologize for my inability to make Chex Mix for Quest tonight. I was going to, but at three am, all I wanted to do was sleep. I don't know if we'll make it to Quest tonight, so if we don't, pray for N and our family.

I discovered that the accident was on the local radio's news. Here is what I pulled from their website.

(UNDATED) - Two people were injured yesterday when a tractor-trailer rig crashed into a pair of vehicles at State Road 101 and County Road 64 in DeKalb County. DeKalb County Police say 36 year old Lisa Bryant of Butler was stopped at the intersection when pulled her jeep into the path of a semi driven by 54 year old Carl King of Avilla. After striking the jeep, King's semi then went into a skid and jack knifed before it collided with a car driven by 31 year old Nicole Shull of St. Joe. Shull's car was pushed into a utility pole. She had to be freed by rescue workers. Shull was flown to Parkview Hospital with head and chest injuries. Bryant suffered a shoulder contusion while King was not injured. The crash, which took place at about 12:25, is still under investigation.

So I guess the police were able to piece together what actually happened. Is it wrong to be upset that the person who caused the accident only has a shoulder injury while Nikki is in STICU?

Still more information. People keep calling me (work people) telling me where they heard, this is what Froggy (the Auburn radio station) has on their website.

St. Joe Woman Injured in Crash Another car crash yesterday left a St. Joe woman seriously injured. It happened on S.R. 101 at C.R. 64, when a semi collided with another vehicle, flipping it onto it's side. The semi jack knifed and struck a third vehicle driven by 31 year old Nicole Shull of St. Joe, pushing her car into a utility pole. Shull was airlifted to Fort Wayne with injuries to the head and chest.

I became curious and checked out the website and they have a picture, but since I don't subscribe the the paper, I can't get the picture big enough to make sense of it. I'll have to stop and by an Evening Star on the way home.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

More Songs

As I was posting the last blog, I realized that two more songs have been weighing on my mind and heart. I don't know if I'm supposed to share them, but I don't know what else to do with them. They are constantly in my head, and I need to get some work done sometime today!!

Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing
Spirit take me up in arms with You
And I'm not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
Twenty four reasons to admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong
See I'm not copping out not copping out not copping out
When You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising these twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts
But I wan to be one today
Centered and true
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising the dead in me
I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.
I'm not copping out.
Not copping out.
Not copping out.
I Need You To Love Me
why, why are You still with me?
didn't You see what i've done?
in my shame i want to run and hide myself
but it's here i see the truth i don't deserve You
but i need You to love me,
and i won't keep my heart from You this time
and i'll stop this pretending
that i can somehow deserve what i already have
i need You to love me
i have wasted so much time
pushing You away from me
i just never saw how much You could cherish me
cuz You're a God Who has all things
and still You want me
Your love makes me forget what i have been
Your love makes me see who i really am
Your love makes me forget what i have been


This post requires a bit of background information. I love music, all types. I also agree with a recent post by Adam about music. I do go through phases, and right now I am being drawn back into my love for music. I find it thereputic, I use it as a means of prayer and praise. Since I am at work alone for two hours each morning, I bring music (the radio frequencies from the jail interfeer with using the normal radio). This week I have been hooked on Switchfoot. I can't stop listening to it. "Beautiful Let Down" is on repeat in my player and constantly going. Normally I don't like to listen to the same cd over and over, but this week, I have. I don't know if God is trying to tell me something, so I keep listening and paying better attention to the lyrics hoping to discover why I have been so attached to this cd. One song in particular really gets me. I don't know if there is something I need to "hear" from that song or if by this post, the lyrics will reach someone else. So I've given up trying to figure it out myself and decided just to post the lyrics and see what happens.

Tell you where you need to go
Tell you who you need to be
Tell you what you need to know
Tell you when you’ll need to leave

But everything inside you knows
Says more than what you’ve heard
So much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words

Chorus: And you’re on fire
When he’s near you
You’re on fire
When he speaks
You’re on fire
Burning at these mysteries

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything you are
Give me one more chance to be... (near you)

Cause everything inside looks like
Everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I’ll take


When I’m on fire
When you’re near me
I’m on fire
When you speak
And I’m on fire
Burning at these mysteries
These mysteries...

I’m standing on the edge of me (x3)
I’m standing on the edge


And I’m on fire
When you’re near you
I’m on fire
When you speak(yea)
I’m on fireBurning at these mysteries...

Everyone Should Do This!!

This is an email that was sent to me by my boss and I thought it would be helpful to a lot of people.

REMINDER....13 days from today (this was sent to me yesterday), all cell phone numbers arebeing released to telemarketing companies and you will start to receive sale calls. .....YOU WILL BE CHARGED FOR THESE CALLSTo prevent this, call the following number from your cell phone: 888-382-1222.It is the National DO NOT CALL list. It will only take a minute of your time.It blocks your number for five (5) years.You must call from the cell phone number you are wanting to have blocked.You cannot call from a different phone number.HELP OTHERS BY PASSING THIS ON TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS

Oh No!!

Have I become dependent on Wal-Mart?? It seems that I assumed I had a lot of items that I don't. Moving has taught me other wise. So I got to work this morning and I began to make a shopping list. Shovel, Chex cereal, nuts, shampoo, parchment paper, etc. I automatically titled my list "Wal-Mart." That scares me! I've always been the type of person who would rather support a local shop than a big chain. In Auburn, that is hard to do. All of the grocery stores are chains, and Wal-Mart does provide one stop shopping.......guess I'll have to give up and go to Wal-mart.

How They Celebrate Chirstmas in Spain

This is the coolest sand castle yet!!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Requests for Quest

So I trying to decide what to take to Quest this Friday night. If you don't know what quest is, here is a brief description stolen from Nathan.

"...the monthly gathering of 18-29 year olds on a journey to encounter God."

Last time I made puppy chow and everyone loved it, well I'm assuming since the bowl was empty when I took it home. I am trying to decide if I want to make puppy chow again. Here is a list of snacks I have contemplated bringing. I guess I'll bring which one wins the most "votes"

A) Puppy Chow
B.) Chex Mix
C.) Stained Glass Cookies
D.)Apple Pie

Let me know which one you want for Friday.

It's a miracle

So I took a mental health day from work yesterday (it was planned and I had a sub so don't worry) and Ayron usually has Tuesday's off, so we went to Fort Wayne and went Christmas shopping. We got a lot of our shopping done!! Yeah!! As tired as I was, it was fun.

I know that it is hard to believe, but I've hit that stage, well it was about 3 years ago, where it's no longer about the getting but the giving. I guess I take after my mother that way (although I will never fold up the wrapping paper, this only makes sense if you know my mother). I enjoy making a list and thinking of the perfect gift for each person. I also enjoy the hunt of finding that perfect gift. I was struggling with what to get a friend of mine for Christmas. We have only known each other for about 7 months, but we are getting close and doing more things together. So I called a mutual friend of ours, he gave me a suggestion, but I couldn't find it. As I was wandering around the store hoping that something would jump off the shelf at me, it did. Not joking. I was talking to God and thanking him for these new friends in my life and asking him for some guidance with the gift buying situation. I had looked at a particular item several times, but always put it back on the shelf. As I began to walk away, the item flew off the shelf and landed on the floor. I looked up and muttered, "Very funny Lord!" You see, I believe God has a sense of humor and this was His way of getting my attention, and it worked. I also bought myself a present while we were out and about. I decided that I needed to read Blue Like Jazz since I've heard so many things about it, so I bought it. Hopefully I can get it read in the next week or so and then I can understand all of the references people make to it!

Our first night

So we actually spent our first night in our house last night! It was odd. Things are still in boxes, our living room is a maze of half unpacked boxes and old packing material. As we were watching the news, Ayron commented on how it felt like we were staying in a hotel. It is an odd feeling. I know that "this is not our home" feeling will go away once we get stuff unpacked and slowly get settled into a routine. It's still nice to have a place of our own though.

Monday, December 04, 2006

We Did It...

but not without help. A BIG THANK YOU goes out to the glassesless Nathan Diehl who helped us move on Saturday. Most of our clothes are still at Ayron's parents' house, but other than that, we are done. We have yet to actually spend the night in the house because we are beagle sitting for my mom until tomorrow, so it's just easier to stay at her place, that and we haven't really begun to unpack anything at our house!

I did manage to drag my tired behind to work today. It's gonna be one of those days. No matter how positive and upbeat I try to be about the day, I'm pretty sure it's not gonna happen, and here's why. I have court today, court automatically brings your day down a notch on the "good day" scale. I came to work early to get stuff around for tomorrow (not going to be at work) and my trust, yet temperamental, desktop will not boot-up. I'm about ready to boot it out the window. So I decided to get the stuff I needed off the "back up" computer. It won't print! I am enrolling a new student today, who does not want to be here, so that will be a thrill. I don't have any work for the new student to do because it was emailed to me, and I can't print it off! I have to get all of the work ready for 5 students for tomorrow and think of every possible thing that could go wrong, and plan for that as well. I'm wondering if it would be easier just to come into work tomorrow, NOPE! I am taking my day off and getting all of the odds and ends that go along with moving done. I have to have my driver's license changed, which should waste about half of my day off. Then A and I are going to Fort Wayne to finish Christmas shopping and pick mom up from the airport around 6:30. I just wish I could fast forward to the end of today!

** Update**

It is amazing what prayer can do. After I blogged and before I began my crazy day, I spent a couple of minutes meditating. It helps me calm down. Now I don't do the traditional, clear your mind of all thoughts meditation. I just lay on my back, on the floor, arms at my side, eyes closed, and pray. I've gotten wise about praying for patience, so I prayed for serenity and guidance. I immediately saw his work in my life. I had court, normally I'd be all stressed out, worrying about testifying, etc. I was calm. I talked to the attorney, probation officer, offending student, etc. Court went well. I came back to the house, found a way to print out materials even though my computer is dead (thanks to Brooke for letting me use her computer), got tons of work around for my students to do tomorrow, enrolled a student, and I am now waiting for another student to come so I can enroll her! So a big thanks goes out to the BIG GUY upstairs.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Fellow Teachers

I am seeking advice from fellow teachers and instructors. I feel that I have done the right thing, but this morning I was chastised by my aide about actions I took yesterday morning. Here is some background information as well as what happened yesterday, let me know if you think I did the right thing.

My handbook clearly states that drugs and/or alcohol are not permitted on the grounds of my "school." They are also not to come to school under the influence of any illegal substances, including alcohol (none of my students are 21). The handbook also clearly states that students are subject to drug screens if suspicion is proved.

Keep in mind the following students is only 13 years old and is here for intimidation charges. I have already caught this student smoking cigarettes in the bathroom on his first day here. Yesterday when he was picked up, my aid noticed an odd aroma, once being a hippie, he knew the smell was not second hand cigarette smoke. He asked the student, and the student admitted that he was high. When asked if he could pass a urine test, the students laughed and said, "Nope." My aid continued to ask where, when, and how it happened, the student kept changing his story, finally setting on one that involved him smoking it with his step mother. His step mother wasn't even home yesterday morning. He came to class, and I noticed his eyes, munchies, and odd smell. He is normally very focused and loves to get work done. He was giggling and causing my other students to loose focus. So I checked my suspicions with my aid. My aid admitted that he knew but didn't want to tell me and that we should give the student a "get out of jail free" card. I explained to my aid the handbook rules and reminded him that the student used that card when he was caught smoking in the bathroom! I had him drug screened, and no big shocker, he tested positive for THC. He is no longer allowed in my program.

I feel I did the right thing, so why does my aid feel the need to chastise my decision?

Thursday, November 30, 2006


I am amazed at students today. Sometimes it is a good amazement, sometimes it's more appauling. I have had both situations today. I have a student for 5 days. He was suspended from the local middle school and they did not want him to get behind since he does have an IEP. I agreed to work with him, afterall, it's only five days. The problem this kid has is not his learning disabilities, it's his last night. He is the youngest of three boys. Since the older boys have been in and out of trouble (I've had one in the night program and one successfully complete the day program) he is automatically labeled as a cruddy kid. He is a great kid! He is eager to please and loves to work. He just needs someone to give him the time of day. I'll admit, when I heard his last night, I was hesitant because of the actions of one of the other brothers, but he has proven to have a hard work ethic and he is very smart! He has completed five days of Math work in less than an hour today, he took a Math quiz. He has finished about 3/4 of his English work, 1/4 of Social Studies, and 1/3 of Science. If he works at this pace tomorrow, he could very easily have his five days worth of work done in 2! It is our goal to have all of the work done by tomorrow so that he can call the principal (with my permission) and tell her that he has all of his work done. That will knock her socks off!

But I've also had the extreme today. The guy that drives the van, picked up our youngest student today (he's 13) and commented by saying, "You smell like smoke, and not tobacco." The student claimed he had been home all morning, then later he changed his story to say he was in a car with someone who was smoking pot...anyways, long story short. I had him tested. He admitted to the officer before even filling the cup that it would come back positive for THC. They did a rapid test, and sure enough, he wasn't lying! The sad thing was, this all happened right before he left for a hearing with the school. This will defiantly cause some trouble in his life, but legally, I had to have him checked. He came to school high.

It amazes me how the kids who come from the messed up homes can be so stable, and the kids that come from stable homes can be so messed up!

Homer as Santa?

While on my morning commute I discovered that a house on CR 39 had an interesting Christmas display. Homer Simpson dressed as Santa. Now, here is why I find that repulsive. I was not allowed to watch the Simpsons growing up, and frankly, I don't feel like I missed anything by not being able to watch it. I did watch an episode in high school, but only because my psych teacher found out I had never watched it, so he made us watch the episode where the president moves in next door. To tell you the truth, I think I slept through it. I know that Christmas has become a secular holiday, but isn't dressing Homer up like Santa a bit disturbing to anyone else? Has society forgotten that much about the real reason of Christmas? I hope not.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Pray for Me

I am asking for prayer and sanity today. I have been at work for two hours and the phone has rang at least once every five minutes. You may think I'm kidding, I'M NOT! In about ten minutes I will be enrolling two new students from the high school. Tomorrow I will be enrolling another student from the alternative school and one middle schooler who is out on a five day suspension. Pray for my patience and sanity oh, and wisdom because I have no clue how I'm going to do all of this and still get my other daily work done!


So we have decided to get a dog. Wait, let me rephrase that, a puppy. Now, I am all about rescuing dogs from the shelter, but last time we did that, it turned into a nightmare. I have been watching the paper and talking to fellow dog lovers/owners. We have decided that we want a small dog. By small, I'm not talking tiny weiny, we are not tiny weiny people. I am thinking about a cocker spaniel. But I also have my mind open to other possibilities. Does anyone know about cocker spaniels? Here is a list of questions we are researching about dog breeds:

How big will they get?

How bad to they shed?

Are they easy to train?

Do they have a laid back temperament?

How much maintenance? (grooming wise)

Are they good with kids?

Will they travel well? (I'd like to make it a classroom dog)

If anyone can offer some cocker spaniel advice, that would be cool. Or if you've got a breed suggestion, that would be cool too.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


Why is it that the parents that give up on their child and abandon them are the first people to scream and throw a fit when someone else tries to help their child? Why do they suddenly think they can come back into their child's life and pick up where they left off? They have already severed those ties. Their child doesn't like them, doesn't trust them, doesn't want anything to do with them, so why do they suddenly decide to try? I know why a majority of them try, to look better in the eyes of everyone else. Why do they think that the people they are trying to impress won't realize the truth? Why do they make such a big deal about having to help their child one minute, then scream and whine when someone else tries to help their child?

And on the flip side...

Why are there parents who want to do EVERYTHING for there children? Do they not want them to make mistakes? I know some mistakes can be fairly large and cause damage, but small mistakes only teach us. A child has to learn how to become an adult at some point, why not use the teenage years as a teaching experience?

How do I...

leave work at work? I am discovering, well I guess I always knew, how hard it is to leave work at work. I work with troubled kids, I also teach, I also coordinate for the after school program. These students have such complicated and horrible home lives that it tends to haunt me. They bring these problems with them, who can blame them, to school and then they struggle to stay on task. I try to do everything possible to give these kids the help they need. I am finding that I wear many hats. I'm a mother, sister, counselor, teacher, coordinator, friend, cook, and boss all at work. It's very hard to leave those things at the door when I leave every afternoon. I know that it's not healthy to carry them home with me. It's not healthy physically, emotionally, or socially. I know that my husband is sick of hearing about everything that happened, but I guess I hope that by telling someone everything that I hear (minus names, confidentiality is key) I can get some insight that I didn't have while at work. My heart aches for these kids! Hopefully I can learn how to balance work with home. Is this a normal dichotomy that people face? Is it something that I should get used to? I sure hope not, because I know all of the worrying I do for these students is causing my constant slight cold and migraines. I guess any wisdom or previous experiences people could share would be helpful to me right now.

Monday, November 27, 2006


My ABC's
A - Age: 23 (I'm old!)
B - Birthday: July 23
C - Car: Ford Taurus
D - Dogs or Cats: dogs
E - Eggnog: Um...YUCK!
F - Favorite color: Blue
G - Gummy Bears or Worm: worms
H - Happy: Heck yeah! We get to move soon!!
I - Ice Cream: I like to many different kinds to narrow it down to just one
J - Job: Stressful but well worth it
K - Kindergarten: The best 5 years of my life!
L - Longest Car Ride: I can remember?? Oklahoma.
M - Most missed memory: The excitement of getting ready for a date
N - Number of Siblings: 1, and her name starts with a "N" what a coinkidink!
O - One wish: No child should lack the love of a parent
P - Piercings: Yes, but I'm not telling... Oh come on, get your head out of the gutter, it's my ears!
Q - Question: Why did/does God allow stupid people to breed?
R - Reason to smile: My hubby and success of my students
S - Song: There's a Hippo in my Bathtub
T - Time you woke up: 6:00, but the time I actually got out of bed was 6:45
U - Underwear: wearing them thank you very much!
V - Vegetable you hate: brussel sprouts
W- Where are you going to travel next: Home to my OWN home
X - mas- a pitiful slang term for CHRISTmas
Y - Year it is now: 2006
Z - Zoo Animal: Zebra


Ok, so if you're an avid reader of my blog (well first, you should probably get a life, because I'm not sure that I'm all that interesting) you know that I was promoted and I am now the coordinator/head of a non profit youth improvement program. Our goal is to not only help these kids get the guidance and instruction they are missing at home, but teach them how to interact with the public. I would like to bring the public into the program, but also get the kids out into the public. We are arranging for the local ATA to come in and give lessons, and we are also arranging for them to be able to use the local college's weight room and learn how to properly lift weights. We would like to have them do a service project, but I am not sure what. If you can think of an easy service project that my students could do, that would be greatly appreciated. Also, if you know of anyone who is willing to come into our program and teach them a skill or anyone who has lead an interesting life and could be considered a healthy role model, could you please let me know. I have a character artist coming in this week because the students I have know are extremely interested in art.

Blog Title

As I was reading my own blog today, yeah I know I'm pathetic, we all know, so let's move on. Anyway! I realized that my title could be confusing to most people. Here is the reader's digest version of how that nickname came to be.

I used to be a counselor at a camp for mental retarded adults, Camp Re-Yo-Ad. One year we had a backwards day. We all wore name tags with our new name. Mine is Amrac (hense the web address). A camper, who was learning to read, struggled all day to read my name tag. By the time dinner rolled around, he got it. He said, "Amrac, like Amtrack, like the Amtrack Train." Since then, I have been known as Amtrack by several close friends."

So there you have it, nothing big, no funny story on how it came to be. It's not exactly all that original, but it has stuck.

Friday Night Funnies Part II

If you haven't read "Friday Night Funnies" go back and read that post before reading this one.

My sister met Joe this weekend and she said, "You're the infamous Joe who wears women's jeans." We told her about the question revolving around men in women's jeans. If guy wears women's jeans, are they tighter in the front and baggy in the butt? Joe had finally decided to answer the question, and here is how he came to his conclusion (Joe, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong since I wasn't there)

Joe woke up one morning and decided to wear his women's jeans. Looking mighty fine, Joe continued about his daily activities. Later in the evening, Joe decided to imitate someone (I believe it was the extremely adorable Josiah) who wears their pants halfway up their torso. Without thinking, Joe grabbed the waistband of his women's jeans, and quickly jerked them up to the middle of his torso. In the middle of completing this action, Joe discovered that yes, women's jeans are tighter in the front and can cause serious pain when worn by a male!

I hope that Joe's hastiness in pulling up his pants does not prevent him from ever being able to create little Joes. Wait, do we really want little Joe's running around??

Christmas Music

I would like to know what idiot at the FCC decided that playing Christmas music before the month of December was ok. Don't get me wrong, I like Christmas music, but come on, it's still like 60 degrees outside. Oh, and those stations that started playing Christmas music before Thanksgiving...they should lose their broadcasting license, if there is such a thing.

I did notice an odd phenomenon though. While my sister and I despise Christmas in the month of November (it's ok if it's played in December) we discovered the powerful effect it has on the human body. We had the radio on while we were painting and working on the house this weekend (BIG THANKS goes out to my sister for her help!) and while we immediately said "Blech" every time a Christmas song came on, we discovered that halfway through the song, both of us were singing it. Our mind screamed, "NO!!!" but our bodies did not obey. I think the government is using the music to control us? HeHeHe...wait, I work for the government.

House Update

This weekend we managed to get a lot done on the house! Our bedroom is painted, except for the trim, and the hallway/living room/one dining room wall was first coated. We are giving it a second coat tonight. I managed to wash out the cupboards and put some dishes away. It is nice to have a house, I just wish we could sleep there! Our goal is to move small things throughout the week and then move the big objects on Saturday. It's exciting!

Black Friday

So I decided to do what millions of other idiots do the day after turkey day. I shopped at Wal-Mart. Not once, oh no, that would be too typical. I went TWICE! Granted, Natalee and I didn't stand in line and beat anyone up over one of those silly 6-11am deals. Our first trip was around 9:30, and it wasn't bad! We got the one deal we went after, the vacuum. We came back about an hour and a half later to get some spirits for the weekend. I was given my Christmas present by my sister this weekend too! She bought Ayron and I our microwave from Home Depot. It will be delivered to our house either Tuesday or Wednesday. Yeah! Now I can cook food, yes I have a stove, but the stove needs to major cleaning!!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Christian Rap (?)

So I was sitting at my desk this morning, listening to "WOW Worship 2001" and I think I stumbled upon the funniest version of Christian rap. My cd started to skipping during the song "Shout to the North." This is what the corus sounded like.

Sh..shout to the north north north
and the Sou sout south
Sing sing sing to the East and the wes west
Je je jesus is saviour to all all all
Lord of heaven ven and earth earth

It was just the laugh I needed to wake up and get focused on my work!

Remodel Day #1

Well, last night was crazy! We spent the evening taping (so we can paint the ceilings) the entire house, patching some cracks, and hanging plastic. We took down the curtains in the big front window so the whole neighborhood could see my crazy family. They probably are dreading the day we actually move in! There were 7 adults and 3 kids there. The sheriff came over. No, not because of the 10 people, just to introduce himself. We live right across the street from him. Which makes me feel secure. We did have a freak out though. We discovered that when you open the blinds on the sliding door that leads to the 4-seasons room and a car is driving down the alley a block over, it looks like they are driving right into our backyard! Hopefully when I get off work, the ceilings will be primed and sprayed and I can help lay it down. For those of you with minimal construction knowledge, we are lacing the ceilings. You spray mud onto the ceilings, let it start to hand down and dry, then take a trowel and smooth it out. So here is my timeline if all goes well.

Tuesday (that's today!): Prime and lace the ceilings
Wednesday: Paint ceilings
Thursday: Eat turkey and sleep
Friday: paint bedroom and start painting hallway and living room
Saturday: finish painting
Sunday: eat more turkey; maybe move just enough so we can spend our first night in the house.

I will admit that I am liking the learning process I am under going. I was learning about wiring last night, how to mix the mud to fill cracks, tape, etc. I liked me crazy, but I did.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Why Cats Shouldn't Be Left Alone!!

This is what happens when you leave your cat at home alone!

No Cats were harmed in during the process!

Closing is DONE!

Well, it is official. I am now a home owner! We closed this morning at 8:15 and were even given a nice check! The money went immediately into the bank, except for $95. Did you know that in order to change the utilities over to a new name, you have to give the city $95? Well, I guess it's worth having heat and electricity, but still.....$95!

Well, it's my first day at "Coordinator" so I better start coordinating.

Good Luck!

I just wanted to take a moment to publicly wish Todd and Bethany "Good Luck" today. They'll know what I mean, so don't worry if you're lost!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Have I become addicted?

After laying in bed for a couple of hours last night, trying to get my brain to shut off, I began to wonder. Have I become addicted to blogging? I'm not talking a full blown addiction and I DO NOT mean to lighten the severity of an addiction, I understand how serious they can be. But I realized a change in my behavior over the past week. When I arrive at work, I no long check my e-mail first, I check everyone's blog. I find myself disappointed if a new post is not made by at least one person. I think to myself, "that would make a good blog." I even talked to a blog consultant last night. Did you know they have those and that they are very expensive? My consult was free because, well, my consultant loves me (hahaha). No, but seriously consultants makes mucho money! I was told that my blog could be very successful and that I have a great voice running throughout my blog. I didn't know I had a "voice" in my blog. Heck, I didn't even know people other than my family members read it until this week, and I still have no clue how many people do, and frankly, I don't care. I blog as a way of journaling. It's therapeutic for me. But I'll admit it was cool to here a blog consultant compliment my blog. I find the whole thing hilarious. I started the whole blogging thing just to have a spot to "vent" and now it has managed to connect me with people that I wouldn't normally connect with on a daily basis. My "addiction" doesn't disrupt my life, I still function quite well in society, I can get my work done, and I can stop any time I want to, I can, I swear, really, ok, I'm stopping now...see me stop....really, I'm serious this time.

Friday Night Follies

We decided to celebrate my "promotion" last night by hanging out with a group of people at Joe's apartment. Turns out, we were the only ones who showed (Joe did too of course). So we talked and ate dinner. Without getting too deep, we learned that we had both (Joe and I) been deceived in the past by one person. It was interesting to learn the truth from each other. But on to the funny part. There are a few lines from last night's long conversation. While you may not find it funny, we sure as heck did.

...Joe frantically reached for the cookie and clutched it to his bosom. He could only hope avoided the wrath of the angry hand.

...three people, three bottles of bubbly (non-alcoholic of course), three plastic champagne glasses, three bellies full of bad Chinese food, three VERY gassy individuals. involved a tree, a raccoon, and a package of fig newtons. I'd tell you the rest, but I'd I would have to kill you.

Ok, so reading them now, they aren't as funny, but to me they are funny and frankly that is all that matters! Oh, the pictures I am supposed to be receiving from last night will be hilarious!!!

Friday, November 17, 2006


It's time to celebrate and have a good time!!! I was given a promotion today! I am not only the teacher of the Steuben County Youth Improvement Day program, but the coordinator for both the Youth Improvement Day and After School Program! More money, better hours, better lap top, year round work!! I am so excited!! It means more responsibility, but I'm ready for it!!!! I am so excited! My first really big job using my degree!!!!

Closing on Monday

Ok, so it's final! We are closing Monday morning. Here is our latest issue. The "tub" in our new house is not really a tub, but a shower with a seat for an elderly person. There is only about a 3 inch lip on the bottom of the "tub" so we will need to put in shower doors. The problem is, the tallest I can find shower doors is 69inches. Sounds fine and dandy for a majority of the population, but have you met my husband? So I think I'm going to contact Lowes and see how much it will cost to specially order taller doors. I guess we could buy the the 69inch tall door and hang a shower curtain up higher. Would that look tacky? Hey wait, since when do I care if it looks tacky, as long as my bathrooms is getting flooded!

Songs for my Sister

These songs are for my sister, in hopes of cheering her up. Heck, we could all use a little cheering up!
You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand
Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place

Or there is the ever popular.....

Here's a little song I wrote

You might want to sing it note for note

Don't worry, be happy

In every life we have some trouble

But when you worry you make it double

Don't worry, be happy

Don't worry, be happy now

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Fed Up

I have decided that I am fed up with the traditional form of education. It obviously doesn't work for some students. Those students get sent to me because they are "trouble makers." Case and point. I had court today, and enrolled a new student to begin my program tomorrow. He is 13 and highly intelligent. He gets into trouble because he is bored. He admitted it. Why is the school system not challenging these students? I often wonder if the school, as a whole, would produce better students if everyone was allowed to work at their own pace. How many "troubled" students would graduate early because they were allowed to work ahead? I don't believe my students are bad, they are not challenged enough, so they challenge. I understand the difficulty teachers face. Up to seven classes a day, with at least 25 students per class, that adds up (175 to be exact). I've been there, done the public school thing. I still don't find it hard. Assign group projects. Give several different choice to choose from. Let the students personalize their education. It takes extra time, I know it does, I've done it. But I feel the reward is better, students are happier, and happier students most often leads to better grades and more confidence. If only states would allocate more money to education instead of selling the toll road, only to build a new one around the state capital. What about our failing students and crappy schools?


Well, Adam just tested a piece of equipment and found it dead. I have a feeling that the kid I am soon to test will be just as dead as that 20 year old piece of equipment, and he is only in his first year of "teen hood." I have court in less than an hour for an emergency case. While I cannot go into details, I can say that he is a very young minor with severe issues. It is sad to realize how many "dead" young people there are in the world. They can be dead to many things, family, friends, school, faith, etc. This student, I'm afraid, is dead to all of those things. When did it become acceptable to give up on these students? I know that I haven't, but I'm only one person. The student has even given up on himself. How am I suppsed to hook up the AED paddles of life when the student keeps wiping up the jelly (to prevent burns). I could go ahead and "shock him" (send him to lock up) without the jelly, but all that is going to do is burn him. He'll come back deader (I know, I know, grammar) than he was. The school has already written him off until at least next semester, and for good reason, but it's still sad. Hopefully I can find a spark of life in this kid, and use my AED (Alternative Education Documents??) to bring him back to life.

I'm a great aunt!

Recently my nieces have discovered 4-H, and more importantly, my sister-in-law, is discovering what she missed by not being in 4-H. Long story short, they now own a small bunny farm. They started out with one bunny, and now, if my calculations are correct, they have around 15. One bunny, Kamisha, only had one bunny. But this bunny is special, it only has three legs. They don't know what happened (they traced bad genetics on both sides, or the mom could have accidentally chewed it off when trying to move the baby) but either way, my three nieces have become attached to the tripod bunny. The other bunny, I can't remember her name, had 5 bunnies, one of them being orange, which is apparently rare and something special. We are going over tonight to meet our new great nieces and nephews. While I laughed to myself (internally of course) when this whole bunny breeding farm started, I am now seeing how it has brought the whole family together. Even our three year old niece has duties when it comes to the bunnies. Although, brand new baby bunnies confuse her. After the first batch of five healthy bunnies were born, she was taken out to the garage to see them. After being lifted up to see the hairless and pink bunnies, she was disappointed. Her dad finally asked her, "M, what is wrong?" She replied, "Daddy, those ain't bunnies, those are piggies. They ain't got no hair!" My sister-in-law took out a photo from when M was born and said, "See when you were born, you didn't have any hair either." Even though those new bunnies don't fit into her knowledge of what bunnies are, she still loves them. She is still confused, but watching the bunnies grow on a daily basis is starting to help her. Sometimes I wish we could all go back to those days of innocence and exploration. When was the last time you were astounded by an animal birth? Sure, the miracle of life is always thought about during a human birth, but look at life through the eyes of a child. Her pet bunny was just getting big, and now, she has five more bunnies she gets to help care for. She doesn't care if their bunnies or pigs, shes just proud that she gets to help. We should all be so lucky and proud to help.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Unwanted Lesson

I have decided that this whole house buying process is an unwanted lesson in patience from God. Anyone who knows me, knows that I suffer from a lack of patience. I would rather take the reigns and do it myself instead of waiting for someone else. You would think that I would have an abundance of patience, considering what I do for a living (teacher juvenile delinquents) but truth be told, I think my level of patience varies on the situation. I have a ton of patience when it comes to work and friends, but when it comes to family and God, I seem to lack. It's sad to realize that I lack patience in my daily dealings with God. He is the one person I should be the most patient with. All things happen according to His timing, not mine. I know that, yet I don't. Why am I trying to rush the whole moving thing?

The whole moving thing scares me. Yep, I'm a 23 year old chicken. I'll work with the roughest of the rough when it comes to work, but I'm terrified of moving. I guess it's because I view this thing as a giant step into adulthood. Sure, I've done the marriage thing, earned a college degree, got my first job with my degree, but a house...yikes. I guess I've grown comfortable with where we are at now. It's so secure. True, living with the in-laws isn't always a walk on the beach, but it does hold less stresses than owning your own home.

A called in the middle of my blog session to tell me that he still hasn't been able to get a straight answer from anyone about closing. It's frustrating, but I'm turning it completely over to God.

God grant me the patience to get through this situation and still have sanity afterwards. I know that all things happen according to Your timing, so I pray that Your will be done.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Unavoidable Disappointment

They say that God works in mysterious ways, and I agree. It's just that sometimes I wish he wasn't so mysterious. Then I wonder, is he being mysterious or are my ears turned off to what he is trying to tell me? We were supposed to close on our house tonight. A called me this morning and told me that some paperwork that is neccessary for closing has yet to be sent back to our mortgage person. It's nothing that we could have changed, it's nothing that our mortgage person could have changed. Whoever is supposed to fill a certain paper out, did not get that form back to our mortgage company in time. Long story short, we aren't closing tonight. It seems that whenever I get my hopes up about anything, it all comes crashing down on my head. This is why I try not to get overly excited about anything. So, I woke up feeling yicky (feverish, sore throat, huge tonsils) and now I really feel icky.

We did go to Home Depot last night and get some supplies for the house, $133 in supplies to be exact. We had to get three big tubs of mud, 1 bag of joint compound, 2 gallons of primer, 2 rolls of blue painting tape, a contractors bundle of brown tape, and two boxes of painting plastic. It was not exactly my favorite shopping spree, but we did decide that we can afford new counter tops sooner than we had planned! Still, if I got to choose between shopping at Home Depot or shopping at any store in the mall, I'd choose the mall.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Stolen Post

I have recently discovered blogs written by people from my "group" at church. I will admit that while I hate to "lift" material from other people, I am an English teacher, this one was too good to pass up.

Do you ever screw up? I mean really blow it. Or do you ever see someone else who makes a major mistake or does you wrong. Poop like this causes life to get real messy real quick. I, for one, have a tendency to get really agitated at myself or others when there is a major screw-up. But why?

In the medical profession, doctors often ask patients when the last time they had a bowel movement. Sometimes they ask frequently as everyday, “Have you had a bowel movement?” What a weird question! But its one that needs answered. You see, that daily bowel movement signifies to the doctors that everything in the body is working they way it should. The bowel movement is a positive role in a patient’s recovery; poop is good.

I think we need to lighten up sometimes. When you, or someone you know screws up bigtime, its stupid to get all worked up about it. Sure it was a mistake, but you’re human so that mistake just proves that you’re still working things out; you’re still living. Instead of getting all worked up it would be better to get excited and say, “Yea! Somebody took a dump! We’re alive!” and get over it. Wipe it and be done.

This entry was lifted from

Friday Night Funny

We had QUEST(a group of young adults from our church get together and hang out) and it turned out to be really good. I ran into my old middle school crush and his wife. Kind of funny the similarities between him and A. They are both dark, tall, hilarious people. Strengthened a friendship with a newlywed couple in the group. Reconnected with an old friend of A's. on to the funny part.

A very non-dramatic (that's sarcasm for those of you who don't know me) friend of mine, J, came out of the bathroom and asked me what I thought of his pants. He is always one to be stylish and point out how good people look in certain colors, so it caught me off guard that he was asking me a question about apparel. I looked the jeans over, decided I like them, and then told him that. He gladly took the compliment and hesitated. I sensed there was more to come. When prodded, he admitted they were women's jeans. He told the hilarious story about trying them on and the funny looks from the sales lady when he asked how they looked. He was able to buy six pairs of jeans for under $100, which is very impressive. After being heckled by a couple of people (mostly his brother and sister), N (another friend from the group), looked at J with a very serious face and asked this question; "If a guy wears women's jeans, are the jeans tighter up front and bigger in the butt?" J, after a minute of contemplation answered, "Nope, they feel really good!" It's people like these that make life worth living.

Ok, so after rereading what I just wrote, I realize that it's not exactly as funny as it was in person. But I did make the comment that the whole situation was very bloggable, so now it has been blogged.


I had court this morning for a student. His behavior has been unacceptable in every part of his life, and today it caught up with him. As I sat and listened to the judge, I began to feel like a kicked puppy. I was this kids last chance to straighten out and that didn't happen. I keep wondering if I missed something. Could I have done anything differently that would have changed this outcome? I know that he needs help that I cannot provide, but it still hurts to see your first student be sent away while his mother cries. I feel like I let her down. Hopefully he can get the help he needs and can get his life back on track, but I am viewing the whole thing as a failure attempt on my part.

Never being one to accept failure, my new view is hard to accept. I guess I'm just worried that it will make me look bad in the eyes of the community. I went and talked to the alternative school director about these feelings and she assures me they are natural and that the student does indeed help that no one locally can provide the help he needs. It's still a let down.

Thank God for In-Laws

Not a title most people would expect me to use, but the tables have turned. We close on our house tomorrow and I knew that money would be tight because of timing. We had to pay our first years insurance up front, and then the car payment, etc. We have enough to survive comfortably, but my father in law knew how concerned I was. I found out this weekend that my in law's are writing us a check to cover way more than the paint and mud we need. Hopefully, we can get all of the paint, mud, primer, and even some border on top of getting some shower doors. I guess they (my in law's) had been feeling guilty because money was being gifted (our of grandma's account) to various cousins for various events (mostly births) and A and I along with A's brother and sister in law, were not given any because neither N (my sister in law) or I have given birth lately. So each couple is getting a check. It is a big load off my mind. I am truly greatful and cannot wait to go to HD tonight to get paint and supplies.

Well I have court in a half an hour so I should get ready.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I made a decision

I did something last night that I hardly ever do. I made a decision concerning the makeover of our new house. After we met with DC, our insurance man, who by the way is very cool, A and I stopped at Wally World to look at a new bed-in-a-bag. We found one with similar colors to the one we currently own. We decided to go ahead and get it, thanks the to sale price. So while we were there, A made me go look at paint for the millionth time since we put an offer in on our house. I made a decision on paint! In fact, I made two! What makes it really cool is that A and I were able to agree with hardly any problems! Our bedroom will be "spring fawn" and the living room/ hallway will be dusty cannon. We could close tomorrow night, which would be really cool! We have also decided to go ahead and lace the entire ceiling, bedrooms and all. It will be a little more expensive, since we'll have to buy more plastic, but in the long run it will be easier. We will then paint the ceilings, our bedroom, living room, and hallway. I attempt to learn and help how to spray the ceilings, but I know that if I bow out gracefully and go home to pack, the ceilings will get done a lot faster. It is getting really exciting now and I think it would be really cool to take possession tomorrow and start working on the house this weekend. If we start Saturday morning, we could very easily be done with the ceilings by the evening and paint the walls and everything on Sunday and possibly Monday. It would be soooo very cool to be in my house by this time next week!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

House Update

We got another house update yesterday. The air conditioning is fixed. We have our interest rate. We are finalizing insurance stuff today and tomorrow. I just can't wait to get in there. I tricked into helping me clean and organize some of our stuff last night. We had his soccer game at 5, went to dinner after that, putzed around, finally gave up and came home. I challenged him to Hot Shots Golf 3. We played a quick round, and since we tied, he had to help me organize some stuff. I managed to get some stuff organized. Nothing really packed though. I did stop this morning and got more boxes from my dad's office. I am in the mood to simplify as I pack, which isn't going well for a couple of reasons. A) I haven't really managed to pack anything, just kind of shuffle things around. B) My husband has become a pack rat. I have a fear of becoming a pack rat (apparently it's genetic and runs in my family) so I have been trying to avoid it. I am in the mood to clean and pack now, but I'm at work. Hopefully the house will be empty when I get home and I can crank up the music and get some packing done!!!

Slow Day...Again

This week has been incredibly slow.

Monday: No students (long story)
Tuesday: Sent both students home
Wednesday: Both students sick again (one at dr's, other sick with sinus infection)

There is only so much cleaning I can do. I've reorganized the filing cabinet, twice. Cleaned off both desks, three times. Changed out the bathroom door knob (with the help of A), rearranged classroom, put down new rugs, went to Meijer with boss, played about a million games of mahjong solitaire, completed several different court documents. I'm just plain bored. Of course, I forgot to grab a book to read. I could always go shred paper in my other office, but the shredder is so loud and often gets stuck...blech.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Final Inspection.... complete. T (my father-in-law), P (my brother-in-law), and A (my hubby) all went and completed the final inspection last night. I took the earnest money into C (our realator) this. The other real estate company started the title work yesterday. A is checking on insurance today. It looks like this is really going to happen this time. I even went and got some paint samples this morning. We will have to fix a spot in the ceiling and paint that before we move in, and also paint our bedroom, and possibly the living room. It's all very exciting and frightening at the same time. I can't imagine how freaked I'd be if we didn't have access to a construction business! P is going to build me some extra cuboard for my kitchen, so that is cool! (My mortgage broker just called and she's faxing over papers my boss needs to fill out verifying my employment.) Wow, this is all very cool!! Hopefully closing can be as soon as possible and we can spend a week painting and decorating and then the next weekend move.

Moving is another thing that scares me. We have roughly 20 rubbermaid totes out in the barn of stuff already packed and ready to move. I forget what is in most of them. But as I looked around the house last night, we still have a ton of stuff to pack!! (Just called dad, he's going to have all of the schools in the county save big boxes) We are going to use a boxtruck. A is going to use two of his employees and pay them to help us move. We are going up to my dad's this weekend to look through some of his house stuff he doesn't use anymore and see what we can use. I'm getting very excited, which will make it hard to sit still and get some work done the rest of the day. I have court next week and I need to prepare today. Blech!!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

List of Stuff

So, I have decided to start a list of stuff that I will need to acumulate for our new house.

* new smoke detector/carbon monoxide detector
* new locks for all doors
* toilet paper (that one's for miamy)
* tv for living room
* silverware
* door mat
* Christmas tree ornaments
* toaster

So far my list isn't long, but I'm sure if I added all of the groceries people normally have (condiments, flour, sugar, etc) it could get pretty long. If anyone has any advice or more suggestions on how to make the moving process easier, leave me a comment.

*After reading my sisters comment, I guess I'll go shopping at the house of mom!

Happy Happy Joy Joy

We were told last night that our offer was accepted on the house we have been looking at. The offical paperwork was faxed to our realator this morning and T, my father-in-law, is doing the final inspection with A tonight! Yeah!! Hopefully we can close next week and be moved in before Turkey Day. Yeah!! I tried to upload some pictures, but our network is having problems today.

It's snowing out! I just looked out the big window at work, and bygosh, it's snowing!! Which reminds me, I need to add a shovel to my list of things we'll need for the house.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Nose Piercing

I've been contemplating getting my nose pierced for about six months now (save your parental speech and your breath). I've done a lot of research and I know what it entails. I've kept putting it off to see if the urge would go away. It hasn't, it has gotten stronger. I wouldn't get a big bull ring, just a very small stud on my right nostril. I don't want to wake up when I'm fifty and regret not living life. I've seen too many people wake up and wonder what the heck happened. I want the enjoy life, do something unexpected. I am going to talk to my boss about it today. I've even gone as far as to research how to hide the piercing for court. You can buy a very small, clear plug that you can paint the end of it with flesh nail polish. My sister had once thought of getting it done with me, but she wimped out. Maybe I'll do some more research today and finally make a decision.

Feeling Good

As I was driving to work today, listening to Clay Aiken, I had a moment. It came after dealing with some of my personal issues last night after running into an old friend. This friend and I have gone seperate ways and are trying to reconnect, but finding it difficult. I have been struggling with jelousy. She just married someone very wealthy and they just bought a house in a nice part of town and she doesn't work, etc...I discussed my feelings with A last night and he simply stated, "I don't care. We are better for it. We've had to earn our stuff, we're better for it." I thought about it all night and while driving to work this morning and I've realized how lucky I am. I have a secure job, an awesome boss (I am my own boss!), a fabulous family, and I know I am being successful at work. I am feeling much better about myself these days, which is a change for me, so I'm struggling with it. Everything is falling into place and it is very nice.