Big Fight

I have a friend who is getting married this fall and one day while were talking she said, "We haven't had a big fight yet. I want to have one before we get married so we know how each other fights."

As the date for the wedding draws nearer and I watch their relationship grow and strengthen, I can't stop thinking about her comment. I have to wonder if her comment comes from past hurt in previous relationships. I don't see her future husband as the fighting type so I don't see him entering into a battle willingly.

I started to think about my relationship with Ayron and realized that we have never really fought either. Sure, we have petty little tifts about stupid things, but nothing big. Most of our little tifts are due to bad communication or hormones (I am a girl after all, we are allowed to have those days).

We have been together since New Years Eve of 2000/2001. We've survived going away to college, living with his parents, unemployment, tough times, pregnancy, childbirth, traveling at a moments notice (for work), and much more and yet we are still together. It actually does amaze me that we've made it this far. I have no doubt that we are meant for each other, who else would put up with my crap? Seeing as how we haven't ever willingly spent a night apart since we said "I do" I don't see any fights in our future.

I do believe it is important to learn how to "fight" fair. I don't mean physically fight. I think it's important for each person to learn their partner's way of thinking and communicating. A while back our church did a "Mens' Brains Womens' Brains" seminar (over several sessions). It helped me a lot. Men can only have one thought box open at a time. Women have at least 3 or 4 thought boxes open at one time. I have to constantly ask Ayron to "close the 'tv' box" and open the "listen to your wife" box.

If you have never seen the "Mens' Brains Womens' Brains" seminar, I encourage you to search for them on youtube.

So what do you think? Is fighting really necessary?