Maybe this is my sign

The more I sit here and wallow about not even being considered for the job at GHS the more I begin to think this could be my(our) sign. The other day I was talking to Ayron about this feeling I have been having about making a drastic change. I didn't know what I wanted to change, I just feel the need to make a big change. We joked around about trying to find a job in the Plainfield area where we honeymooned (around Indy) but I begin to question if we really were joking. I really don't know if I could move. I have a lot of family in this area but then I am feeling the urge to try something new. I looked at the DOE website and there are a lot of jobs in the Indy area, but out of my nervousness I purposly didn't look up the school districts around Plainfield. I just feel like things are really starting to click here. Ayron is making great progress at work, I'm making new friends at work and rekindling old relationships with friends from high school, we have picked up our relationship with Josh and I am really feeling the need to become friends with Kelly. I just don't know what to do. I don't know why but Vinita is always in my mind as well. I've only been there once, but I like that small town feel. I know the schools there suck (everyone homeschools) but maybe I could find a position aroud there. Then again, my uncle-in-law is a Superintendent in Michigan, but I don't want people to think I pulled the family card again. I guess I just really don't know what to do. Do I even want to teach right now? I don't want people to think I wasted my time getting my degree and jumping through all the hoops to get my license, but I know that ultimatly I want to be happy. I guess I could always email Sarah, she always has such great advice.

I feel really bad that I only really email sarah when I need help. That's something that God has pressed on my heart, friendships. I guess it's hard for me because I'm trying to balance it all and frankly I suck at it. I feel guilty about even thinking about emailing her. I don't want her to think that I only use her for a therapist. Arg...why must life be so freaking complicated. I am 23 (well almost) shouldn't I have all of this crap figured out by now? I give up, I'm emailing Sarah.