Heartbreak

Yesterday I felt my heart ache. It is an odd feeling coupled with frustration and anger. I have had one particular student for the past two school years due to poor attendance at the public schools. We had our go arounds this year and I even had the student arrested for truancy but through it all they trusted me and I thought we had made some progress. I was wrong.

I got a call from one of my staff members yesterday asking me if I had heard the news. The students home (they were renting) had caught fire. After further investigation, the police figured out that the fire started because the family was cooking meth. Parents, another family member, and my former student were arrested.

This student has been in and out of placement and foster care since they were young and it looks like the cycle will continue. I fear for them. I wonder if they will ever learn. I am mad at the parents for putting the child in that situation. Then part of me knows the student willingly participated. We gave the student so many chances to blow the whistle and save themselves, yet they never did. I am frustrated because I feel like I failed. I thought something was going on and I had been working with the counselor as well as probation but we never had enough legal evidence to do anything.

Part of me wants to plead with the judge to let me take the student home to live with us. Change of environment and schools is what this person needs. They need parents who don't enable their behavior. Parents who truly care. The other part of me knows they need help beyond what I am capable of giving.

It is situations like this that make me hate my job. Then again, I realize that I did do all I could do and now it is out of my hands. I just wish I could save them all. With 90% of the juveniles I work with, a change of their home environment would do them wonders. I wish I was able to have them all come live with me and show them what a truly loving family feels like...but I know that is not possible.

Please pray for this family. They have some serious issues and I am guessing my opinion might be asked when it comes to what will be done with the juvenile. I honestly don't know what I would say at this point.