Foster vs. Adoption vs. Pregnancy

Ayron and I have been talking about expanding our family. This shouldn't be shocker to anyone! We are debating and seeking personal stories on the many ways to expand a family (hence the title of this post). I am more or less going to ramble my own thoughts about each of the three ways and hope that someone out there has some input/personal stories/advice on each method.

Pregnancy
Part of me thinks, "Been there, done that." It was a rough pregnancy. It took us a year to get actually get pregnant and that only happened with the help of gluchopage (diabetic medicine that has the side effect of helping with fertility while not increase the risk of multiples). I was sick all the time, pinched nerves, weight loss, etc. Not to mention the actual birthing process. Taylor came out elbow first, but only after stopping his own heart several times (He had his umbilical cord in his fist).

But along with the scary and not so fun parts are the amazing parts. Knowing that God is knitting together this baby inside of you. Knowing that you are carrying another human. Feeling the baby move inside you (except for when it kicks your full bladder). All of those things are amazing. Seeing the little heartbeat on the screen for the first time just makes your heart melt.

I wouldn't mind being pregnant again, but if it never happened again I wouldn't be heartbroken either. I have experienced it once and that is amazing, if He allows it to happen again, I will gladly give it my best shot!

Adoption
We are very ignorant about the adoption process. We have reached out to friends of ours who have adopted two children (one Fillipino and one Floridian). We are going to meet with them for dinner and seek their advice, wisdom, story, etc.

I know it can be a long process and can even be heart wrenching, but I am willing to try. The thought of being able to care for, love, and raise a child that someone can't excites me. We would be giving this child a shot at life that they might not have gotten had we not stepped up.

We even talked about adopting an older child. We had our baby days and we know that the odds of an older child getting adopted are greatly reduced. We also know that older children may come with their baggage and we think we have enough community resources, as well as family strength to help with those.

Fostering
Due to the nature of my job I work a lot with foster kids. It seems they are just seeking someone to actually love them. Someone who gives a darn about them and is willing to say so. I talked to a foster student yesterday on the phone who is coming back to the area (wasn't originally in foster care, but the situation has changed). I flat out told her, "We have missed you and your smile. We were heartbroken when we heard what had happened, but we are there for you. Please come back." She cried and said that was she wanted to hear. They just want someone to love them and give them guidelines, kids like structure. They will fight it, but it makes them feel secure and cared for.

My biggest fear with fostering is becoming too attached. It would be very difficult for me to give a child back to the biological parents if I felt the environment they were going back to was not safe. I would be the crazy lady on the news who has the kids held hostage in her home to keep them from going back to an unfit home.

Fostering also allows us the opportunity to touch more than just one child's life. We would be able to have many children over the course of our family. It would also allow Ayron to be a stay at home, dad, something he really wants to do.

I look at so many of my students and think, "If I could just take them home maybe their lives would be better. They could have a warm bed, hot shower, decent food and a family that gives a darn."

We are also very ignorant about the fostering system and are seeking some advice/personal stories/etc.

If anyone has any information or contact people we can speak with, please let us know! We are praying and hoping He shows us the path He wants us to take.