Marriage

I am currently experiencing marriage in every phase of it's existence. I have two friends who are engaged and getting married within 3 weeks of each other (and I'm in both!) at opposite ends of the country! Ayron and I are coming up on our 4 year wedding anniversary (been together 8 1/2 years). I am also experiencing the heartache of a marriage ending. I find myself experiencing all the emotions of each stage and it makes me wonder and appreciate my husband all the more.

Engagement
I have two friends who are getting married this fall and it's fun to watch the planning and be apart of the planning. T and C are getting married Oct. 10th in the Seattle area, and although I've only met her once, I know C is the right one for T. This wedding strikes me as particularly cool for two reasons: we get to travel (actually kind of nervous about that part) to the wedding and I get to stand up front on T's side! Yeppers, I will be standing up with the guys. I think that is cool! D and K are recently engaged and getting married Nov. 7. I will also be upfront (a part of the "fruit salad" of bridesmaids / inside joke). We recently went dress shopping and it was fun to watch D try on all types of dresses. You could tell when she found the one because her demeanor changed, she became quiet and D is not quiet.

It's fun to watch these couples get excited about marriage, about finding their life partner. I get to relive all of those emotions without the stress (no bridezilla freak outs or anything!). I get to be apart of their happiest day and I will do my part to make it a happy day for all! It's fun to see the loving look in their eyes and see how they can't get enough of each other.

Marriage
Ayron and I are coming up on our 4th anniversary and I tend to find myself looking back in time. I never planned on getting married. I was gonna move to Austria and become a nun (yet another inside joke). I can't believe that in the span of 4 years, we have accomplished and survived so much! We have a house in a great neighborhood (minus the random act of juvenile delinquency), have a dog, and the most surprising thing...a child! It's so cool to know that we created that life and now he is a human. It's just fascinating.

We've survived so many obstacles and it has only made us stronger. We lived with his parents while I finished up student teaching, dealt with a job loss and promotions, the agony of house shopping and the joy of signing the closing paperwork, and we are both now in jobs that we love that allow us to live a comfortable life. Life is good and I am glad that I have a wonderful partner to share it with.

Divorce
I also have a friend dealing with a not so good side of marriage, a divorce. I know the Bible is against divorce, but I see so many situations where both individuals would be better off if they went their separate ways. I didn't say it would be easy, and it should not be taken lightly, but I feel that in some situations, it is the best option.

I was at my friends house the other day when her soon to be ex came over to get some of his things. I swear I could feel her heart break. I felt like my chest was going to explode with sadness. I just wanted to hold her and tell her it would all be ok. Eventually it will be ok, but right now it is difficult for all involved. I also felt the anger her father was feeling. He was there with us as well and you could read the frustration of his face. I also wonder if he felt some what heartbroken because he wasn't able to protect his baby girl from experiencing this tragic situation.

She has a great out look on life and knows she will eventually find someone who loves her for her and I admire her for that. She has so much more strength than she knows and I pray for her, and him, daily. Just sitting here thinking about the situation, I find myself experiencing some of the emotions she must deal with (no where near to the extent she does) on a daily basis. I just want to wisk her away from this situation and make it all better, but I can't. I have to keep reminding myself that God will use this as a learning experience for all involved.

I will say that after being at her house the other night, I did appreciate my marriage and Ayron a lot more. Living in these stages of marriage (vicariously through my friends) has allowed me to remember how I once felt and deepen my love for Ayron.