Yesterday I read an article written by Pamela Paul in Parents magazine. Pamela interviewed Peggy Orenstein about her new book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatched From the Front Lines of the New Girly-Girl Culture. The article intrigued me. The Pamela and Peggy discussed how our culture has turned girls into uber girly-girls. Pamela says, "what can we do to help our daughters who are coming of age today have the best sense of girlhood possible."
It seems our cultures have turned our daughters into wimpy princesses. Why must all girls be associated with such helpless (usually they are portrayed that way) characters who are patiently waiting on a man? Really? Can we not teach our daughters to be happy with who they are? Peggy said, "...what does it mean that our little girls are all about being pretty princesses? Have girls made so much progress that it's no big deal? Or is this the first step towards hypersexualization? I don't remember everything being so pink when we were little - we were all 'Free to Be You and Me' - and I didn't know where this new culture of girl came from."
I just want my kids to be what they want to be. I want them to be strong, independent and happy. I worry that the new found cultural obsession with princesses (do you know how many princess themed bedroom sets, toys, etc there are? Thank you Disney!) will cause my daughter to define herself by making her think that how she looks is who she is.
Don't get me wrong, some cultural princesses are strong women, but they are always waiting around for a man. I think that the new found obsession with princesses is causing younger girls to grow up too fast. Have you looked around the schools lately and noticed what the little kids are wearing? Heck, some of the little kid Halloween costumes I saw in the store this year I considered smut! Do we really want our elementary school girls thinking they have to dress skimpy and be all "made up" to be happy in life? Oh, and what is with little girls using the word "sexy?" I'm sorry, if anyone calls my little girl sexy I may snap. How can a 3 year old be sexy? Really? I have had someone tell my son he looks sexy and I about flew off the handle. HE IS ALMOST THREE! Three year olds don't need to know that word! He can look handsome, but sexy? That word should be reserved for married adults if you ask me! Maybe I am just too conservative, but no child of mine will be "sexy."
I am not knew to the culture of little girls. I have three nieces and have been in their lives since the oldest two were three and four. I have watched them grow into their own. The oldest is a farm girl with a touch of girly-girl. She could kick your butt, hunt her own food, and then put on lip gloss. The middle one is still trying to find her way. I think she will go towards the girly-girl side, but who knows. The youngest will be a mix of both. She likes her make up (lip gloss) but isn't afraid to get in the barn with the cows, goats, rabbits, etc. I want my daughter to be well rounded. To know that it is ok to want to play sports and still be prom queen. If she wants to play on the football team and wear nail polish, good for her!
I look at the female students I have and wonder how they got to where they are. I have had several that use their bodies (or the promise of their bodies) to persuade males to do what they want. What/who taught them this is ok? that not only gives them a false sense of worth, but can make them seem like they are "easy" even if they are virgins. How do I limit her access to the materials that influence that kind of thinking without sheltering her?
So how do I raise a well rounded daughter? I really have no clue. Heck, I don't even know if I am raising a well rounded son. He says "please" and "thank you." Plays well with others, and is happy go lucky, so I think we are on the right path. I see many sleepless nights filled with prayers in my future!
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