How Did We Turn Out Alright?

I was going through all of TJ's old baby clothes the other day and it hit me....I am a mother of not just one, but two. How did I get to this point? Who would have ever thought? Not me! I am now responsible for raising these two kids to be respectful, decent, productive members of society. At times that task seems so daunting. I can't even get my 2 year old to pee in the potty (that's another blog post for a later time), how in the world am I going to raise him to be kind, decent, loving, etc. Ayron walked in and caught me thinking while folding tiny baby clothes and we began to talk.

We talked about how we were raised. Our upbringings were similar and we like to think we turned out just fine. We respected (and still respect) our elders and were well-rounded teenagers (perhaps a bit geeky, but that's ok). I see so much disrespect for parents at my job and it amazes me. My students say things to their parents' faces that I would have never thought, let alone said.

My parents never told me not to smoke, do drugs, drink, or have sex, yet I never did any of those things. I have never touched a cigarette in my life, never taken an illegal drug, and was a virgin on my wedding day (think what you want, but how many people can honestly say that?). Even though my parents never lectured me on those things, I just knew not to do them. I wasn't afraid of the legal consequences, I was more afraid of my parents.

Don't get me wrong. I wasn't afraid they'd beat me or anything. I was more afraid of that look of disappointment on their face. That look of hurt and pain would have killed me! Dad always joked that if I ever got arrested he'd make me sit in jail overnight, but I don't know if he really would have left me overnight.

Ayron and I are wondering how we raise our kids to be like we were. How do we instill that....that fear (I hesitate to use fear because it's not the word I am searching for) in TJ and Ella? I know part of it is by just living a life worth modeling, one with strong values, beliefs, etc. We talked with one of our pastor's about it during a New Year's Even party and even he wasn't sure how to go about it. I want our children to have a healthy dose of respect and "fear" but I also want them to be able to come to us when they have problems. I want them to know that we won't judge them when they come to us with problems, concerns, etc.