Thursday, October 19, 2006

I'm very confused and need advice

We were out looking at houses last night when my sister called me. To make a long story short, someone she goes to church with is being sent to China for two years for his job. They (him and his wife) are looking for someone to possibly housesit for that amount of time. The house is in a very nice part of town. It has a pool and big screen t.v. etc. At first I was really excited about the idea of being able to stay somewhere, virtually rent free (we'd pay utilities) for two years and save up money so we could actually build a house. The more I stayed awake last night thinking, the more I began to not be as excited. I want a house of my own. I want to get on with life. I finally have a "real" job and I'm ready for a house of my own. Sure it would be nice to live with minimal expenses, but two years is a long time! Heck, I haven't even been married two years yet. I'm torn because we have yet to find a house of our own. There is one in Kville that I like, but it needs some cosmetic work. I just don't know. I'm ready for life to begin but am I ready for a house payment? Wouldn't it be odd to live in someone else's home for two years. I don't think I'd ever relax. We are meeting with the couple tonight. I am trying to keep an open mind, but there are so many unknowns. We've never housesat for more than 2 weeks before. There's a big difference between two weeks and two years.

I tried praying about it last night, but it turned more into my mental ramblings. I know God got the point, but I'm sure it was pretty confusing. Is it so wrong to want a house of my own? Is it so wrong to think it would be cool to live in a nice place for two years? Would we become used to that lifestyle and then struggle when it came time to get a place of our own? There are so many questions. Please pray for answers. Hopefully this meeting tonight will answer some questions. I know that some say asking for a sign from God shows a weakness in your faith, but I don't know if I truly believe it. Couldn't asking for a sign be similar to asking for answers to our questions? If so, is it wrong to ask for answers? It's not like I expect God to send down the angel of housing and tell me which to choose, but I would like some guidance. That leads me to another question. How do you know if it's guidance you are getting or if you are being tricked by the devil. And where is J.O. when you need him. Lately he has been a voice of reason and inspiration to me, although I don't think he knows it. We are having a game party at K's house tomorrow night so hopefully he is there and I can pick his brain with all of my religious questions. Any one out there have any advice, thoughts, concerns, a house in the Auburn/Kendalville area we could buy??

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