Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Extremly Frustrated

I am getting really frustrated about work. I have been working with several other people/offices to help a certain participant in my program. I was told that if I did steps A-Z they would help me and we could get this person the help they needed. All I needed to do was A-Z and they would take care of the rest. THEY LIED! I just got off the phone to find out they did nothing and played me up to the family like the bad person. I wasn't even there to defend myself. It seems like they don't want to do their part. So I spent a whole day doing A-Z only to have it back fire on me and cause me to have more work. They didn't even check with me to see if it was feasible, they just did it. It throws a huge wrench in my schedule. I'm so upset.

I took this job so that I could teach. I took the "coordinator" position because I felt bad. There, I admit it. I took it because they couldn't find anyone else to take it. I didn't realize how much time it took to do a bunch of dumb paperwork that never gets looked at but we have to have "just in case." I feel like I don't get the respect or help that I need. They literally just handed me the whole program and went "Here, you figure it out because we don't want to." So when I do make a decision on something, they start screaming and blowing whistles. Well, help me, don't criticize me after I've done something.

I miss teaching. Even during the school year, I don't get to do a whole lot of teaching. Many of the kids do the "independent study" program the alternative school offers, so I basically just sit there until they have a question or need a test graded. I want to teach. I want to have students who are willing to learn and who do not have so many problems. I don't want to be on so many committees just because of the title I accepted. I'm hardly even at the house (My program is run out of a house) the first week of every month because I've been put on so many freaking committees and been giving so many dumb duties that have nothing to do with my program. It is getting really frustrated. When I do ask for help, I either get ignored or looked at like "Well, I don't know what you want me to do!"

I brought all of this up to my boss this past spring but he doesn't know how to help. He is a passive person. He'll try to not deal with it in hopes it goes away. I can't work like that. I need help, guidance, leadership, someone to stand up for me, and I'm not getting that here.

Maybe I'm so worked up due to the hormones, who knows.

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