The past couple of weeks I have been feeling crumby. It is probably due to the fact that I am supporting another life, but it has been rough for me, and for Ayron. I have been extra whinny (shut up Natalee) and half the time I don't know what I need or want to make me feel better.
Ayron, sensing my rough time (how could be not) brought me home a present last night. He gave me a gorgeous diamond cross necklace. It is beautiful. I was truly happy. I'll admit that at first I was upset that he spent that kind of money, but he quickly shut me up. It is nice to have surprise presents, I'll give you that.
I began feeling guilty about it as the night wore on. Did he think that he had to buy me something to make me feel better? Questions flooded my mind. I realized that while I truly love the necklace (don't get me wrong, I don't want to sound ungrateful) he could have made me just as happy by doing some little things around the house.
My friend and I have been unloading to each other about our daily responsibilities and how we get our significant others to help out. She leaves lists. I'm more subtle. Ayron's style and my own are drastically different as well.
I would rather do a little bit each morning so that when I get home from work (or on my day off) I don't have a ton to do. The house will always look decent (except for the mud pit in our front yard) in case someone stops by. Ayron would rather put everything off until his day off. He spends his day off lounging around until right before I get home, then he frantically tries to throw a load of clothes in the washer, a load of dishes in the dishwasher, clean the bunny cage, and vacuum.
I shouldn't complain. He helps more than some people do. I just don't like watching the chores pile up till the last possible moment. I like to stay ahead of the storm. Is that wrong of me? I've even thought about creating a weekly chore chart. For myself, not for Ayron. I don't want you thinking that I treat him like a kid, he is an adult. But just to better organize myself.
For Example:
Monday: Rabbit Cage, vacuum, dishes
Tuesday: Dishes, laundry, kitchen
Wednesday: Dishes, bathroom
Thursday: Dishes, Rabbit cage, laundry (if needed)
You get the idea. I'm afraid Ayron will think that I am pushing him to help out. I just wish he'd help me during the week so that on Sunday we aren't frantically trying to get a bunch of stuff done before the upcoming week. Maybe my nesting stage has kicked in several months early, who knows. Maybe I'm just odd. Any suggestions?
*** In response to a comment that was left. I do not think the number of hours one works is relevant. I work outside of the house and while my hours were flexiable this summer, I still managed to work a ton. I know he works a lot too, I get that, and I'm grateful. I also know there are certain things I cannot do on my own either do to lack of knowledge or physical reasons. I do not think that it is wrong for me to ask him to do them. We do talk, and things still don't get done. I work on things around the house everyday, before and afterwork, and on my days off. I don't think it's too much to ask for him to load the dishwasher after dinner or throw a load of laundry in before he leaves in the morning. Long rant short, I don't think the number of hours matter. We bought the house and we need to help each other maintain it.
2 comments:
You are NOT wrong in asking for a little bit of help around the house! He lives there to, right? Don't get me wrong, both of our guys are great, but they both seem to be lacking in that department and there is nothing wrong with wanting a little help from them. There is nothing wrong with them that should excuse them from helping out. I don't think it has anything to do with the fact that you are expecting either, I am not expecting and I feel the same way.
A man's perspective....
First, let me ask a silly question: have you sat down and talked with him about this? I mean, had a discussion (not an argument!)? Bethany and I do this, and it helps to keep the lines of communication open (not just about house cleaning).
Another question: How many hours do you work compared to him? I know that when I put in 50 hours and she puts in 40, I expect her to do a bit more around the house. Or when I'm studying for school or something. If you're putting in the same amount of time, that's a different matter.
I'm not trying to dog you and defend him; I don't know the situation completely. My suggestion is to actually talk to him about it.
Warning: if you nag him about it, without discussing it like a human being with him (assuming you haven't already, and be nice!!) then you'll just make him mad.
Trust me. It was a rough spot in our first year. DON'T nag your husband!
If he is a lazy slug, hit him for me. :)
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