Thursday, December 29, 2005

Grouchy

I have discovered that I am grouchy. Not in general, although my sister may disagree, but today. And with no real reason why. I am still a week away from my "visitor" so I know it's not that. I tried tanning today to lift my mood, it did temporarily, but not for long. I just feel like being left alone for the whole night which is hard considering I married a man who panics if I sneeze. "What's wrong? What did I do? Blah Blah Blah..." I just wish he had a mute button. Don't get me wrong, I love the man and I don't want him to read this and freak out. I just like to be left alone sometimes. While I can fake the extrovert personality I like to be an introvert. He doesn't understand that women can be grouchy for no reason and pestering them only makes it worse! Maybe my grouchiness stems from my stress.

Ayron still doesn't have a job and the checkbook is getting awfully small. I start school in two weeks and have no way to pay for books let alone tuition. We have my ER visit bill hanging over our heads. I have to pay to take the Praxis II so that I can be licensed. I have yet to begin to study for that and frankly I really don't want to. Ayron needs to have his teeth cleaned for the first time in like 10 years and have a tooth pulled. I need to go to the "female" doctor. The urge for children is kicking in while the practical brain screams "WAIT." Winter time sucks. The two days of continual drizzle and grey are beginning to take its toll. I am fearing depression.

While I've never been officially diagnosed with depression, I have feeling I have come close in the past and I don't want to go back. It seems like everyone in this world is on some kind of "happy pill" and I don't really want to be one of those people. I know that medicine is a wonderful thing, but I also know that it is expensive and we cannot afford it right now. I would rather deal with it, I guess it's just my personality. I think I'm just grouchy. I feel like being grouchy so darn it, I'm gonna be grouchy.

GRRR! I was trying to add an image of Oscar the Grouch but just my luck the computer is not cooperating. Just my luck. GRRR!!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i see the grouchy spell happens all the time just tell him your grouchy and he will under stand.

Carma said...

That "anonymous" posting is from my husband. He wasn't so anonymous. He came into bed and said, "someone posted a comment on your blog..." He is horrible at lying!