I Did

Well, I finally did it. I told my boss how I felt. Here's what I wrote him, and what he wrote back.


"I am beginning to wonder if I took on too much when I agreed to do a combined job. I feel like there is not enough time in the day to give each program the focus and attention it needs along with still having family time for my husband and mother. I find myself becoming extremely stressed, and I take it out on the kids for minor things. I don't like that side of me. The stress has even taken its toll on my health, and I spend many late afternoons fighting stomach problems and migraines.

I am waiting for the stress level to rise because I now have 7 kids in the day program, two of which are middle school, and one of the middle schoolers is special ed. It is difficult to do everything with little help from T. He is not knowledgeable in Math, nor is has he expressed any interest in trying to figure it out so he could help the kid. He has no clue how things are organized, how to enter anything into the computer, etc. It is really beginning to make leaving for meetings and conferences difficult. I've idiot proofed it and the kids have become very self-sufficient, so that helps. They know where everything is at, and what needs to be done, but he can't even figure out how to attach an email.

I find myself focusing more time for the day program because that is a majority of my time and where my expertise is at. Right now I could easily put in 40 hours a week with the day kids, between planning, pacing, grading, meeting with the contact person at school, going through the work before I assign it so I understand it, etc. That is not fair to the after school program. They need just as much focus as the day program. Being gone for meetings and conferences (don't get me wrong, I like to learn and be apart of the meetings) really puts me behind. I have reports for probation, case management stuff, now the assessing thing, and gavel something or other, and it seems like every week there is something new.

I am in the middle of reformatting the after school program. The kids are now having homework time from 4-4:30 and I check in with AMS and FMS once a week to see how the kids and their grades are going. If the kids do not have homework, they need to show me their assignment book/planner, and then read for that time. They can choose to read a book of their own, a book from the closet, or the newspaper. I have broken down the time for the program.

3:30-4 - The kids and I sit and talk, get to know each other, see what's going on, what happened that day, snack, etc.
4-4:30 - Homework/reading time
4:30-5:30/5:45ish - Activity
5:30/5:45ish-6:00- Dinner prep
6-6:30- Eating and clean up

It's hard to stick to such a schedule because the numbers change from day to day, and by spring break in March we'll be down to two kids in the after school program (one should be in phase II and one in phase III).

I guess I'm just really struggling and am stressed out and starting to regret combining the jobs. I feel like I can't do one program justice without the other suffering. I'll admit right now that I love the day program, but do not really like the after school program. I like the kids, but I'm finding it difficult to create any activities that will both be liked (so the students participate) and teach them something beneficial. Maybe its the fact that the kids lie more in the after school program that gets me.

I know that you created this position for me, but I'm really starting to wonder if I, and the programs, would be better off if I want back to just teaching during the day program?

Any thoughts?

Carma"

To which he responded:

"Carma,

Please find some time so we can talk about this. I do not believe that combining the jobs was a mistake. I think you are doing an excellent job and I know that I don’t have to worry about things over at Yip because you are there taking care of things. If Tom isn’t helping you then we need to address that. You should not be the only one over there working with the kids. I understand what you are saying about the after school program, and I can relate with you about not liking it. I hated the freaking thing in October. Shoot me some times that you can meet with me this week and we can talk about it."

Its cool that I'm apparently doing the right things, but did he not realize that I don't have any extra time! Geesh.