Monday, March 24, 2008

Feeling Attacked Yet Loved

Wow, two attacks in one day is a bit much for one persons ego. Someone posted a semi attacking comment on my last blog. I have no clue who the person is, but I did apologize for how they felt and how my actions caused them to feel that way. Then I read a friends blog to find I had been attacked again for not returning a phone call. I AM SORRY PEOPLE. How many times can I apologize.

I really wanted to lash out at the second person, but then it hit me. They don't get it. They are at a different place in their life than I am . I am a married home body who even if she weren't married, would still be a home body. So I sent an email explaining my pain and view on the situation. Hopefully all is well and we can get on with our lives.

My sister came to my aid after someone (I really have no clue who you are, so email me please so I am not in the dark. The attack out of left field is not my favorite) posted their comment on my blog. She has come to my aid a lot lately. She knows how to concerned and not overly protective like my mothers can be. It's nice to know she cares and extra nice to know that she gets me and checks in every other day.

I've come to realize that friends see things differently. I have one (the one I thought would be the most supportive) friend who is suddenly changing. She has several married friends and two of us are pregnant and since we are pregnant, we talk about pregnancy things. I'm sorry. It just happens. So she feels hurt and etc. My other really good friend (the one I thought who really would just drift away) calls or texts me everyday to check in and see how I am doing. After I sent her sad text about not being induced last week she sent such a loving text back. She is proof that you can be in different places and still be friends. We haven't acknowledged the fact we are in different places in life, but we both accept it. We know that if we go for weeks without talking it's not because one is harboring secret hate towards the other, we are just busy people. Her text caught me off guard and showed me that you can be friends long after high school. Heck, we met in 6th grade when her curly hair blocked my view of the chalk board.

So can people be friends and still be a different stages in their lives? Sure, a lot of my friends are married. Some have kids, some are trying, some don't, some just got married. But we all get along. Why is that? Is it because we all acknowledge we are in different places and are willing to be genuinely happy for everyone? Do I just abandon my friend who doesn't get it because I have plenty that do? I am willing to put forth the effort, but what if she isn't? I don't think it's an age issue, I think it's a maturity and place in life issue. 98% of my friends are married, or soon to be, so we have that is common. Several are pregnant or trying, so we have that in common. So if I have so many friends that do understand, why am I letting my own friends "attack" hurt me so deeply? I have other things I should be focusing on today, yet I just keep sitting here feeling hurt. Blogging has helped, but until she returns the ball to my court I don't know if I can completely push it to the back of my mind.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Carma,
Yeah, that sucks pretty bad!

I had a good friend who just couldn't stop lying--particularly, couldn't stop lying about me to others.

Eventually, after about 10 years of trying to get past the lies, I had to let the guy go.

I am reminded of 2 Timothy 3 when Paul writes, 'People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive,...,ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control,...,rash, conceited,... Have nothing to do with them.'

It is okay to let some people go. Yeah, it might not be exactly what you want to do, but sometimes, it's what best for you and the other.

Don't forget to call (or Ayron) call when you into labor! God bless you Carma! And Ayron! And Taylor!

Carma said...

I dont think I'm ready to throw in the towel yet. I know that I haven't really tried. If I gave up without trying I'd always wonder, "what if I had tried." I guess for now it's out of my hands.

todd helmkamp said...

That does suck, Carma! I'm sorry you are feeling that way! Let us know if you need anything, and make sure to let us know when you go into labor!