Friday, March 07, 2008

In the middle and confused

So once again I am in the middle. I don't think I put myself here, I think I was put here. Not that the person knew they were doing it, but it has been done. I am not sure how to react.

Back in middle school and high school I was best friends with the same group of girls. Up until my senior year I was great friends with one of them in particular. Then she started drifting away. She became engaged to a guy from another school. At the start of the second semester we became good friends again. The reason? I had started to date her fiances best friend (yes, Ayron). Then I left for college and we (the couples) drifted apart. They got married, Ayron and I continued to date. Fast forward like 5 years.

The couple divorces due to a sticky situation. Ayron and I become friends with the guy again. Ayron is happy to have his best friend back (and re call the dumb stuff they used to do) and I'm amazed to learn that he is a different guy now that he is no longer married to my former best friend. Turned out he was married to someone that they went to high school with (an older woman at that...haha. had to through that one in).

We become friends and have started hanging out and talking, etc. Now they are the God parents for our son. I love having this relationship with them and getting to know a different side of the guy I never knew when he was dating/married to my former friend.

Then the former friend finds me on facebook. I added her as a friend this morning, but I am unsure what to say to her. It's not like I have to tell her everything, "Um...I'm now really good friends with your ex and his new wife and they are the God parents of my child........" But I know that this person needs some friends. She burned many bridges during the divorce and I think she is slowly realizing all that she lost.

I know the whole thing about "hate the sin, not the sinner" but I still can't wrap my mind around the circumstances of the divorce. I talked to the "new wife" this morning and told her what I was feeling and she thinks I'm silly for stressing out over it. Maybe I am. I am just trying to figure out how to make the old world work with the new world. I'd like to be friends with my former friend, but right now I am not sure if I could keep my mouth shut and not offer my opinion about her past.

Lord,

Grant me the ability to know what to say and how to say it. Allow me to get over the past. Everyone else has. I was directly affected, and she didn't hurt me, so why am I hung up on it? Allow me to forgive her and open up my life to her again.

Amen.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Carma,
As you mentioned, it seems your friend already knows she did some wrong in the past. As such, I don't think she needs you bringing up the wrong.

Just love like Jesus would love.
Love today, not dwell on yesterday.

Love, Love, Love.
Love is what brings people back to Jesus. God has been messing me up about loving sinners.
Love, Love, Love.

todd helmkamp said...

Wow, I would have a hard time with this too. I will definitely pray for you (and me too!).