Memories

About a week ago I was helping my in laws clean some photos off of their digital camera. I was going through and deleting the unimportant and out of focus shots my 5 year old niece had taken (I think she snitches the camera more than grandma knows) when I came across pictures of my sister in laws vehicle.

Almost 2 years ago my sister in law was hit (T-boned) by a semi from a large and local trucking company. She spent a month in the hospital. She shouldn't have survived. We were told that so many times. "She shouldn't be walking." "She shouldn't be talking." "There is no way she'll drive again." We heard it all. Yet, she amazed us all and she is doing fine, in fact she has better eye sight now! It was a horrible, yet bonding time for our family. I still remember that feeling in my gut I had during the time of the accident. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew something was wrong. Then the phone rang. I have never driven home so fast. I remember passing the wrecker truck on the way to the hospital. I remember (and you can still see) the tire marks through the grass and the skid marks from the other car.

This morning I passed a semi from the same trucking company. My heart always stops a little. Mostly because last winter I was run off the road by a semi from that same company. I flinch now when I pass one on the high way, or I see one coming and it's a bit to close to the center line. I am pretty sure that is normal.

So when I passed a semi this morning I started recalling the photos I had seen in my mind. The car looked like a crumpled up piece of paper. I don't know how she got out alive.

I know she has come a long way, but some things will never be the same. Her voice is a little different now. It almost sounds like she has a bubble in the back of her throat. This morning I found myself struggling to remember what she sounded like before the accident. It killed me because I couldn't recall her voice. I still can't. Am I the only one who can't remember? Do her daughters remember what she sounded like before the accident? What really gets me is when I call the house and the answering machine picks up. It is Nikki, before the accident, on the recording. I don't think they will ever get rid of that recording. I think that is our one link to the old Nikki. Don't get me wrong, the old Nikki is back, just with a different voice. But my heart still breaks a little every time I get the answering machine.