The Past

Why do people always dig up the past? Why can't they be content to learn from their mistakes and move on? Why can't they let others learn from mistakes and move forward?

I enrolled a student this morning who did something horrible (legally, that's all I can say). The student is now serving his time in the system and is trying to move forward with his life. It seems like dad won't let him. I understand wanting to make the whole experience an opportunity for growth and new wisdom, but constantly using the situation to oppress your child won't help. After meeting with the family for only 20 minutes I feel oppressed by dad and I don't have to live with him. Once dad left I told the student. "I know what you did, but that will not cause me to judge you. You have two weeks before you go back to court. Lets use that time for you to show me who you really are. I understand what you did, but in my eyes, that is in the past. Let's move forward and get on with life and back on track." The student seemed so relieved. Like someone understood. I think he really does understand the severity of the situation and I think he truly is remorseful. It was his first offense and I don't think he'll be an issue. I could be wrong, I've been buffaloed by kids in the past, but I really want to see this kid succeed so that he can look at his dad and prove he can do it. Heck, less than 24 hours of being removed from placement and sent home he got a job! That has to stand for something in the dad's eyes. I do understand the dad's desire for the student to help out monetarily. He is on home detention at a cost of $11 a day, plus drug screens (each one is $18) and my program is a cost of $15 a week (looks like he will be here till January). If I was the dad, I would look at that child and say, "Ok, you messed up. Let's get you back on track. I am proud of you for taking intuitive and owning up to your crime. I am proud of you for getting a job. What can I do to help you continue to succeed?"

Guess we have different parenting styles.