Perfect Prayer?

Last night was a rough night. Taylor has been easily sleeping from 9:30pm till 7:30am for a month now. Last night, that didn't happen. We fed him carrots for dinner and 10:15, anything he had eaten all day came flying out of his mouth and down my back and all over his pink carpet (yes he has pink carpet..big deal...he doesn't realize it). Ayron and I were up with him all night. He would fall asleep in our arms and as soon as his head would hit anything other than our chests, he would wake up screaming. I have never heard him scream like he did last night. Ayron and I took turns holding him and we each got very little sleep. I took the 4am-6am shift and while I was lying awake watching the red and blue lights dance around our living room (a police officer pulled someone over in front of our house) I started to pray.

I am not an eloquent prayer by any means. I don't think He expects us to be. Do I wish I could be the one with the confidence to say prayer before a big family meal? Yes, but I don't. I stumble, I repeat, I just plain sound silly.

So as I was praying for patience (for myself and Ayron), motherly wisdom, and wellness I found myself repeating things in my head before I "spoke" them. I was trying to "write" the perfect prayer in my head before I whispered the words. I had to laugh at myself. He knows my thoughts! He knew that I was thinking the same things over and over before vocalizing them. Why was I stressing out about making my words sound pretty. All He cares about is the fact that I brought my concerns to Him.

I think my yearning to be a "perfect prayer" has inhibited my prayer life. I will be the first to admit that I don't have a prayer schedule. I pray at the silliest times and the oddest places. I have prayed at the top of the Alps, I have prayed in the depths of the Grand Canyon (for energy to make the hike back up to the top!). I usually pray in the car. So why do I stress myself out over being an eloquent prayer. He knows my needs and He knows my heart. Maybe it is time to pick back up with my praying through drawing.