It's been one of those weeks, and as the clock slowly ticks closer and closer to 4, I'm feeling worse and worse. I feel very broken, very vulnerable, defeated, exhausted, and just plain grumpy. I just want to run. Not physically, cuz let's face it, I'm not physically fit. I want to run away for awhile. Let me clarify that, I want to temporarily leave, go some place far away and relaxing. It's not that I want to avoid the problems in my life, I just want some time away to gain clarity.
I was attempting to drive to a school to meet with the guidance counselor about a student. It had started to snow, and was calming. The calm turned to panic when I realized that outside of town the roads were a mess. I got about 1/4 of the way to my destination when I decided to turn around and admit defeat. I was tempted to take the left and head out of town, but I took the right turn and ended up back at work.
We were going to go bowling tonight with a group of friends from church, but Ayron is feeling ill so I think we're gonna stay at home. That won't do much for my "wanting to run" urge, but at least I won't be at work.
Am I crazy? Does anyone else experience these urges to leave adult life and all of it's responsibilities for a day or two? To be 5 again and not have a care in the world. To actually enjoy the snow instead of cursing at it while driving home. Maybe I'll go tanning and get some fake sun in my life.
1 comment:
Yep. I feel the urge every 8 or 9 months to run away to Pennsylvania and just take in the mountains for a time. Actually... I'm over-do. I'm praying for you, Carmie. You just give me a call and I'll sing you a stupid, no-good, "you'd think I was five" song whenever you need it.
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