Friday, March 16, 2007

Former Church

Ayron and Michael have started a Bible study. We've decided to meet at the DCYC in Auburn. It is a central location and it's free. The DCYC is also where our former church meets. They met in a small room at the end of the hallway. Ayron and I got there plenty early and I was curious. So I spent some time just sitting in the room that I used to attend church in. I should correct myself. I was laying on the couch. Yes couch. They use a kitchen table, chairs, huge ottoman, and several couches for seating. If it works for them, great, but it doesn't work for me. I just laid there, starring at the ceiling. I finally realized that I was waiting. Waiting for God. I had been in a funk, and didn't even really want to go to Bible study. So I made myself lay there and reflect on the day. I literally muttered, "Ok God, I'm here and listening, talk." I laid in there for about 15 minutes (I had to get up to make it back to the room in time for Bible study). Funny thing is, He didn't talk. I didn't here a booming voice, I didn't see an angel fly through the room, I didn't have a warm feeling come over me. I grew angry, I thought, "I made the effort to be still and quiet and He didn't show." This morning I was reflecting on my thoughts from last night (and I still am as I write) and I became angry, not with Him, but with myself. God made his point last night. He didn't have to send an angel or make a noise. He made his point with silence. I fill my day with noise. Students, music, foot tapping, etc. God lead me to that room last night. He placed the urge in my heart for silence, for a brief amount of time to just be still, and wait. I'm not good at waiting, we all know that. But I waited last night. So while I didn't "hear" God, I did. His point came across loud and clear. Maybe I'm not making sense to anyone, but in my mind, I am. I realized that I've been filling my silent and still time (that I should be spending with God) with noise and action. I was laying on a couch being distant and God spoke to me without speaking at all.

1 comment:

todd helmkamp said...

Very profound.