Jell-O Cookies

Here is a new cookie idea I tried today. They turned out good and Ayron liked them so I think they are a "winner." I did make some "tweeks" that made it easier so I'll incorporate them below.

3 1/2 C. Flour
1 tsp. Baking Powder
3 Sticks butter (softened)
1 C. Sugar
2 pkgs. Jell-O (small packages of your favorite flavors, you could probably "mix and match")
1 Egg
1 tsp. vanilla

Sift the flour and baking powder together in a medium bowl. In a large bowl beat the butter with an electric mixer until fluffy. Slowly mix in the sugar and 1 package of the jello. Beat until incorporated. Mix in the egg and vanilla. Gradually mix in the flour mixture until completely mixed. Place dough in fridge or freezer for a couple of minutes (keeps the mixture from sticking to your hands).

Shape dough into small balls and place 1" apart on cookie sheet (I recommend you line the pans with parchment paper). Then place the cookie sheet in the freezer for another couple of minutes. Use a clean glass to flatten the dough balls into circles (I actually dipped the glass in flour to prevent sticking). Use the 2nd package of Jell-o to "sprinkle" the cookies. Then place in a 400 degree oven for 8 to 10 minutes.

I am assuming you could mix and match your two favorite flavors of Jell-O. I stuck with strawberry and Ayron liked them. I was certain that shaping the balls would dye my hands red, but it didn't. I was surprised!

I discovered that chilling the dough just made the process a lot easier.

Adventures in Soap Making

I knew you could make your own laundry soap, but I had never tried it. Due to sensitive skin, I have to buy the All "Free and Clear" detergent and that can be costly with as much laundry as I do (Husband, 2 year old, and a dog create a lot of laundry). I knew my sister in law made her own soap and a lady my mom knows makes her own as well. My mom brought home some soap for me to try and I loved it. It doesn't have the dyes or perfumes that cause me to break out in hives.

We had to go to Rural King this morning to get something for the dog, so I decided to get the supplies needed to make my own soap. Here is how is broke down cost wise to make roughly 30 gallons of laundry soap.

Arm & Hammer Washing Soda $3.29
Fels Naptha Bars (we bought 6) $7.74
20 Mule Borax Laundry Booster $3.99

I also bought 2 large buckets for $2.99 a piece, but those are a one time expense, so I didn't add them into my cost analysis.

So the grand total of my purchase was 15.02 (without tax). Divide that by the 30 gallons of soap it will make and the final cost is roughly 50 cents a gallon! You can't beat that! I was spending at least $9 a month on laundry soap, but not anymore!

Here is the recipe for the homemade laundry soap that I will use.

1 bar of laundry soap (Fels Naptha)
1/2 C. Borax
1 C. Washing Soda

Grate the bar of laundry soap and melt on stop with just a little bit of water. Fill 5 gallon bucket 1/2 full with hot water. Add soap, borax, and soda. Mix well. Fill bucket with more hot water (enough to fill the 5 gallon bucket). Stir. Use 1/2 C. of the soap per load. Makes 5 gallons.

Start Strong: Building Healthy Teen Relationships Initiative

I was browsing through newspapers (on line of course) and came across this article from the IndyStar.

I have to say, I LOVE THIS IDEA!!! What took so long for someone to create something like this? We do something similar with our students in my program, but we are flexible enough and can make the time. Why couldn't this idea be incorporated into EVERY Health class in the nation?

Another School Year Has Come and Gone

Yesterday I ended my fourth school year running the Youth Improvement Program. For those of you who don't know what I do, here is a brief idea.

I run a school for local juvenile delinquents. Some students I get are in trouble with the law,
some are just in trouble at school. I get what most teachers would categorize as the "worst
of the worst." We choose to see them as misunderstood and seek to help them become not
only better students, but well rounded members of the community.

This past school year was our biggest yet. We had 39 students come through our doors, and of those 39, 35 were successfully readmitted back into their "home" school. It was a busy and crazy year, but it was also fun. We had some "repeat" offenders, but it was great to watch how they grew and matured and took responsibility for their actions.

As we were playing "Hillbilly Golf" in the yard yesterday with all the kids we noticed a former student (let's call him T)moving into a house across the street. He came over to visit and it was great to see a success story 2 years after we had him in our program. He is working a great job. His girlfriend is a stay at home mother to their two children and they are planning their wedding. He starts school at Trine this fall and she starts Trine next week. He and his girlfriend have even taken in his younger brother and are making sure he completes his education as well. The visit from T reminded me why I do what I do.

Now it's time to take off the teacher hat and put on the criminal justice hat. I spend my summers working for Community Corrections and this summer I will be leading some juvenile work crews (hoping to score a tan as well!) as well as my normal court duties. As I sit in my quiet office, just 16 hours after the last student of this year walked out the door, I am lonely. I got used to having all 8 of the students here early asking questions or just hanging out and reading the paper.

Olympic Mascots

I was doing my usual morning check of yahoo news and came across this sports blog. I have to agree with Chris Chase, those are two goofy looking mascots.

The so called "taxi cab" light on the head reminds me of a pop up turkey timer and I simply want to push it back down. The one on the right looks like he we his pants. Heck, if I had creepy blue lobster claws for hands, I just might wet myself too!

I can't tell what the orange design is supposed to be. I can tell you that it looks like the orange guy has some serious cellulite going on around his midsection and legs, but then again, who doesn't have that issue?

The video only made me wonder how "George" is able to stand upright with such a gigantic head! Guess we'll just have to wait and see what other crazy things London does for the Olympics.

Not Sure

I am not sure what to think about a situation that accrued earlier this week at work. Before I tell you what happened, let me give those of you who have no clue what I do, some background knowledge.

I run a school for juveniles who are in the court system and have been suspended or kicked out of school. My program prevents the judge from having to use tax payer dollars to lock a student just so they can get their education. At a cost of $200 a day for lock up (per kid) times the 90 (or so) students I have had over the last 3 years, I have helped save the county a lot of money. In order to keep a full house of kids (my program is run out of an older ranch house that has had some conversions done) I will take school referrals (kids who are just in trouble at school, but not legally). This helps the schools out because they can still count the students in their head count (and receive the money from the state for the kid), but they don't have to deal with their problematic behavior. I take these kids at NO COST to the schools. I have a great working relationship with all the schools in the county I work and I LOVE MY JOB. That being said, here is what happened.

I had some school officials just drop in, unannounced. They had never been here before and thought they'd stop in to check on their student. I am sure I looked like a bum. I have been fighting a bug and wore jeans and a hoodie that day to work since I didn't think I would be seeing anyone official. So, I'm sure my laid back apparel through them for a loop. Like I said, my program is run out of a small house. It isn't much, but we make it work. If I need anything, I have to write grants for the money. I don't mind, sure I may complain, but it keeps me busy. So after taking a look around, one of the officials said, "Oh, so this is it?" It was said with a nasty derogatory tone and they were standing right next to me. I must have had a shocked look on my face because they immediately said, "Oh, you weren't supposed to hear that." What did they think was going to happen? I was standing right next to them. I bit my tongue and replied, "Well, we are small, but we are able to accomplish things with these kids that the public schools can't. We truly are the definition of 'No Child Left Behind.' AND we do it all without any financial help from your school. So far this year, we have helped 38 kids, 5 of them being your districts students. We aren't much, but we can work miracles because we give the kids a chance and we work with them, not against them."

So, was my reply to snotty? I was just appalled at their comment and had to defend myself. So many of the kids I get have been written off by their schools and their parents. They just want someone to give a crap about them and take an interest in their lives. We do that, we show them that someone cares and is willing to advocate for them. What I really wanted to say was, "Look here, you guys write off these kids and we take them in. We take in the kids you refuse to help and all the baggage they carry. We work miracles when you can't and we don't even charge you. You should be happy we exist." But I didn't. I still have to wonder if my response was appropriate.

I have to wonder if administrators see me as young and a bit juvenile myself. I am 26 (I actually had to stop and do the math in my head) years old and have been doing this job for three schools years now. I truly think I have grown more in this last year, and I know I have more growing to do. I have to wonder when people will stop seeing me as a young, novice teacher and more like an experience professional that can handle the toughest kids and help them succeed.

I am excited to say that a local guidance counselor "went to bat" for me during a meeting and praised our program. It made my heart swell. It was nice to hear someone verbalize that my program is working. The judge is happy with my program (he is the brain child behind the original program) and that also makes me happy. This Thursday Senator K is actually coming to visit our program and see just what it is that we do here. I look forward to showing him how we are able to work miracles with the students who have been left behind or just plain forgotten.

The Forgotten Mothers

I was chatting with a friend yesterday about Mother's Day. We both agreed that Mother's Day had gotten a bit blown out of proportion and turned more into a "Hallmark" holiday than anything else. She asked me if it was odd for me to buy someone else a Mother's Day present when I am a mother myself. I thought about it and to me it isn't odd. But that is not the part of the conversation that stuck with me. As I thought about our conversation I realized that several of my friends are mothers without haven given birth. So this is my "Happy Mother's Day" to them. I am not going to name them by name, but by initials.

C.B.: You are a mother. Each year you help mother/teach/inspire 30 kids to become great learners for the rest of their lives. You spend countless hours planning and teaching each child. You recognize their learning styles and help them become who you know they can be. You deal with problematic students on a daily basis and yet you keep going. For that, you are a mother. You help with your 5 nieces and nephews. For that, you are a mother. You care about the students your husband coaches. For that, you are a mother. So Happy Mother's Day to you!

D.Y.: I know I speak for several mothers when I say, thank you for helping us keep our sanity when it comes to our own children. You are always willing to help nanny our kids when we are at our breaking point. You take our kids so we can have a weekend away. You let our kids sleep in your bed. You take our kids trick or treating (so you can have a cut of the candy ;) ).For that, you are a mother. You deal with kids all year long during play/musical productions. You teach them how to dance, act, and sing. For that, you are a mother. You are more of a mother than you realize. Happy Mother's Day.

N.R.: You let me crash at your place in college. You provided me a place to escape a witch of a roommate. You stood up for me when said witch roommate turned me in for having a weapon (it was a freaking pocket knife!) and the police came and all that happened due to it. For that, you are a mother. I couldn't have made it through labor without you. You stood by my side the enter time (I am still surprised you didn't pass out!). You listened to me call you every name under the book through the pushing process, and yet you just calming told me, "You have to breathe. Do it for Taylor." For that, you are a mother. You helped me become a mother and helped me kick our mother (gee, guess I really didn't need to use initials on this one since that gave it away) out of the room. I see how you play with Tj and encourage him to read. For that, you are a mother. You help "mother" college students through their research projects and papers. For that, you are a mother. So Happy Mother's Day!

Financial Food for Thought

While browsing on line I came across this article. I TOTALLY agree with what Jeff Yeager said, "But what we're missing is the golden epiphany of the time -- not can we save, but what do we need?"

I used to be a coupon FREAK! Scouring websites and papers and cutting out ANY coupon I found. It didn't matter if I used that product or not, it was a coupon! Who knows when I would want to save 30 cents on 5 cans of Pringles?! I finally realized I was spending time throwing out coupons that I didn't use. Now I browse the coupons and if it's a product I use (or one I know a friend uses: diapers, etc). I'll clip the coupon. 9 times out of 10, I just buy the store brand because it ends up being cheaper than the name brand (even if I had a coupon for the name brand).

I still plan our our weekly meals and use that to plan my grocery list. Make the weekly menu not only streamlines the grocery buying process, but eliminates the "What's for dinner?" question that so often used to lead to, "I don't know. I didn't get anything out to thaw so lets just go out to eat."

I also liked Yeager's thoughts on housing. Sure, I'd LOVE a bigger house, but a bigger house would lead to more space, which would lead to me feeling the need to fill all the new space with new stuff, stuff we didn't really need. I like my small house. At times I wish I had more cupboard space, or a bigger bathroom, etc. but who doesn't?

We are actually in the process of getting rid of crap we have that we don't use. If it truly is crap, it is going to to the curb for spring clean up. If it is decent and something we could sell, then it goes on craigslist, ebay or in the garage sale. Everything else gets put in a place. I think we have 3 lawnmowers right now. Only 1 of which we actually use. We have a lawn rake, it's a gas powered thing and to tell you the truth, I'm not sure what it is supposed to do. All I know is that Ayron thought we needed it so when my Dad offered it to him (My dad moved from MI to SC), Ayron took it. We have 3 snow blowers. One doesn't work. One does work, but is smaller. Our third one was given to us by Ayron's dad when they moved. It is a monstrosity, but it clears the driveway in 2 passes down and back, so I think we'll keep that one! I have boxes of Corelle dishes that I have yet to open. They were given to us as wedding presents. If I haven't used them in the five years we have been married, why am I hanging on to them?

As for "less destructive habits," we have discovered a few. About once a week we bike to the local school park to let TJ play. We get our exercise biking and he gets to run off energy in the playground. It often turns into a social event because the school is a halfway mark between our house and friends house (she also has a two year old boy who loves to run around). We go to the mentioned friend's house and feed the fish in the pond behind her house. The boys LOVE to throw the bread into the water and watch the fish fight over it. If I have a bread product that goes hard, it gets tossed in the "fish" baggie and when the baggie is full, we go feed the fish. We also let TJ play outside in the rain. That was the most entertaining for all involved. He loved it! Sure I had a muddy two year old and an equally muddy husband afterwards, but they wash, and so do their clothes.

The authors last remarks about toilet paper made me laugh. What good is buying the cheap 1 ply toilet paper when one drop of liquid makes the whole sheet disappear? I will stick with my White Cloud toilet paper thank you very much!

So I am curious. What things are you doing to keep your spending habits under control (or to change them)?

Brown Eyed Susans

I decided to try another recipe from my Grandmother's cook book. This one was incredibly easy and fast.

Brown Eyed Susans

1 1/2 C. Bisquick
1/3 C. oil
1 lrg. box instant vanilla pudding
2 eggs
1 box junior mint candies

Mix the first four ingredients. Drop by teaspoonful on ungreased baking sheet. Place a candy on top of each cookie and pat flat. Bake in a 350 oven for 12 to 14 minutes.

Here are the before and after pics.

Another Sleepless Night

Last night I was absent minded listening to the news while I was cooking dinner. I discovered that they were talking about a former student of mine. Thank goodness for my DVR because I was able to "rewind" and listen again. She had been missing since Monday evening. I immediately called my staff and alerted them and started brainstorming. Who could she be with? Where would she have gone? Etc.

I formulated some ideas and called the Auburn Police Department and informed them of who I was and gave them my "ideas."

I was up all night wondering where she could be and what made her think that leaving home would solve any problems she was having. I racked my brain trying to think of anything she could have said while she was in my program that would lead us to her. Needless to say, I didn't sleep.

This morning I learned that she had been found and was safe and all was well.

It's events like this that make my job difficult. I love my job, I get to work with so many interesting students. Yeah, I get pain in the bottoms who can be problematic, but what teacher doesn't? Every student I take in, I become emotionally attached to. Obviously they need help and to know that someone cares about them or they wouldn't have made it to my program. I get to know them in a different manner than their public school teachers would have the opportunity to. I become emotionally invested in their lives and I didn't realize how much it got to me until last night. I was worried all night like she was my daughter. I was pacing the house and racking my brain.

I love my job and the crazy kiddos that come with it, but I could do without the worrying and sleepless nights!

Ayron Did It!

On Saturday Ayron graduated from Reppert's School of Auctioneering. Reppert's is a two week intensive course (Monday through Saturday, 8am to 9pm). Ayron passed with flying colors and is now preparing to take his state license test on May 5th.

Since Ayron was the only "local" student (Reppert's is based out of Auburn and run by Senator Kruse and his family), he had quit a cheering section at "Graduation." TJ even got mentioned in the graduation speech! Here are some pictures from the "graduation ceremonies."

Part of their "final exam" was to auction off the Reppert "hoe" (the garden variety), the original Reppert desk and the Batmobile.

Ayron and Senator Dennis Kruse

His "official" graduation picture.

Ayron and Chad Beach, the only blind auctioneer to ever attempt and graduate from Repperts. When he takes his state license test in May, he'll be the only blind auctioneer in the USA (that we know of. Look for him on Jimmy Kimmel Live and check out this video of him.

Chad is an amazing auctioneer. Chad's final remarks were, "Hi, I am Chad Beach and I am graduate of Repperts School of Auctioneering. I did it with my eyes closed, because I had to!" I do have a video of Chad auctioneering during his "final exam" but it failed to load.....oh well!

Is It Summer Yet?

This past week has taken a toll on me! Ayron has been in school from 8am till at least 9pm every night. He will graduate this Saturday. So far he has earned a 91% on a written test and a 93% on an auction calling test.

I have discovered how difficult it is to be a single mother. I NEVER thought being a single mother was easy. I have a friend who is a single mother of two and I know that it is hard. I am thankful that I live a mile from my mother and she is willing to help me out. I am also thankful for friends who provide me with much needed adult conversation in the evenings.

I think that I am experiencing more "spring fever" than my students. I am eager for the summer to get here. I can't wait to get back into the garden and enjoy being outside!

One Crazy Night

I had one night away from TJ and my husband and boy did I make the most of it! I took my sister to the Ft. Wayne Roller Derby. We decided it was time to derby de-virginize her. We actually decided to brave suicide seating (sitting on the ground right at track level about 3 feet from the action. It was awesome! Bomb Squad killed the other team. The final score was 249 to 45.

After the game we went out with the Yingling sandwich (Kerry, Dawn, and Keith) and had some dinner. When they took us back to my car we discovered we had a problem. Afdent had locked the gate to their parking lot. We always park at Afdent and then car pool across the street to save on parking. Afdent has never locked the gate before. So we had to steal back my car (I'd like to thank Nat for being the one who actually stole the car).

As I was turning around in Casa's parking lot my high beams accidentally provided a spot light for the lovely gentleman that was peeing on the bumper of his truck. That set off a laughing fit for my sister and I. The whole way home we were laughing so hard about the nights events that I almost puked on myself. Thankfully (?) it got stuck in my throat. That brought on more laughing as I made every obnoxious sound known to man in an attempt to get my stomach contents back to my stomach. Laughing lead to almost wetting ourselves on the drive home. It was a great night!

After a lovely ashma attack at 1 am (I haven't had one in years so I didn't have an inhaler on hand) Ayron and I were finally able to calm down and attempt to fall asleep. As soon as we turned out our lights we heard TJ crying. We opened the door in time to watch him puke all over his pile of stuffed animals. After cleaning up the mess, the kid, the stuffed animals, etc. We brought TJ into bed with us. About 20 minutes later TJ started to fuss. Ayron picked him up and got a nice warm vomit shower down his back. This time I put both boys in the shower! By 2:30am we were finally able to get everyone back in their own beds and to sleep.

TJ was up and ready to play at 7:15am like nothing happened. Needless to say, I am ready for a nap!

Learning As I Type

I have been typing my way through my grandmother's old recipes. I have been texting with my aunt and mom throughout the process to clarify things, etc.

In my older post I wrote about how the term "nutmeats" made my giggle like a teenage boy. Immature, I know, but come one, it's a silly term. I got the following text from my cousin this morning (a 17 year old boy, er....young man): Mom was telling me about your recipe card adventures, and when she said 'nutmeats,' my first thought was 'calf fries?' But they're not sold in stores!

For those of you who don't know what calf fries are....look it up. The reason my cousin thought this is because he currently lives in Vinita, Oklahoma. Vinita boasts the largest calf fry festival.

I then discovered that the name "Kirsch" was written at the top of several of the recipe cards. So I texted my aunt (she has a faster texting response time than my mom). While I was awaiting her reply, I ventured over to google and discovered three things. Krisch is a curtain rod company, it is also used in the making of swiss cheese/fondue, and it is also a hot dog company. My aunt texted me back and informed me that Grandma Carma worked for Kirsh Company for 27 years. They were a local family-owned, worldwide curtain rod company. They supplied curtain rods to the world. I'm pretty sure that I knew this, but for someone reason I was thinking Grandma worked at a light bulb factory.

Odd Recipe

Ok, today's odd recipe is brought to you by Carma Eaton's (my maternal grandmother) recipe box.

Chocolate Sauerkraut Cake

1/2 C. margarine

1 1/2 C. sugar

3 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla

2 C. sifted flour

1 tsp. baking powder

1 tsp. baking soda

1/4 tsp. salt

1/2 C. cocoa

1 C. water

1 C. sauerkraut, drained, rinsed, and chopped fine

Cream margarine and sugar. Beat in eggs, one at a time; add vanilla. Sift all dry ingredients together. Add to mixture alternately with water. Beat well after each addition. Stir in sauerkraut. Pour into greased and floured 13x9" baking pan. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 40 minutes. Cool in pan. Frost with any favorite creamy chocolate frosting.

So, anyone out there brave enough to try this recipe? I texted my mom and aunt when I found this and my smart alec mother texted back: Must be an Amish barn raising special? Feeds 144? Then uses 'wind' to blow walls into place.

My aunt just replied to my text (as I was writing this) and said: Ewwwww! My mom loved sauerkraut! It just stunk up the house 4 us.

I did find a recipe for a coca cola cake though. I think I might attempt that.

Grandma's Kitchen

For Easter my mother gave me two recipe boxes that used to be my Grandma Carma's (thus you now know where my name came from). She doesn't know how the recipe boxes ended up in her possession, but seeing as how I am the adventurous cook in the family she decided to give them to me. I decided to type up all the recipes and any neat information that may have been associated with them. My goal is to get all of the recipes typed up and then "publish" the cookbook for close family members.

I am discovering that recipes have changed over the years. I know that is a, "No, really? DUH!" statement, but I've had to actually do my research. Many of the recipes do not have oven temperatures, but rather they refer to the "speed" of the oven; slow, moderate, fast. I had to explain to Ayron what the modern day word is for oleo. The word "nutmeats" made my laugh. Still cracks me up (I am juvenile in that sense, I admit it. But come on, can you imagine going to the store and asking someone, "Excuse me, where do you keep your nutmeats?"). There is one term that I still can't figure out. Peanut crunchies. It is for a cookie recipe. I have to wonder if my grandma was referring to crunchy peanut butter. If anyone knows what "peanut crunchies" are, please let me know!

It is interesting to read the extra information grandma put on the card. This lady was all about speedy frosting. I have several recipes for 5 minute and 7 minute frostings. She also had about 10 recipes for devils food cake. Oh, and if she could sneak dates (the fruit, not calendar dates) into the recipes, she would! I have some recipes that were my great great grandmothers. Some recipes (a majority of the bigger recipe box) were a class assignment for my grandmothers "home ec" class during her junior and senior year.

I never had the opportunity to meet my grandmother. Sadly, she passed when my mother was pregnant with me (now my parents choice is name become even clearer doesn't it?). I can't help but picture her in her kitchen cooking up some kind of vegetable stew and fresh bread while a devil's food cake is baking and she is whipping up some 5 minute frosting. I can see the red apple cookie jar on the kitchen table (funny story behind that for another time) and my mom and her siblings reading or doing homework. For some reason I picture my grandfather sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper and smoking a pipe. This is odd because as far as I know, my grandfather never smoked. But the pipe adds a nice affect doesn't it. Maybe too much "Leave It To Beaver" for me, who knows.

I just finished typing up all of the hand written recipe cards from the smaller of the two recipe boxes and I came across a radio "transcript" from WOWO that had been mailed to my grandmother (under her maiden name). It was from the August 15, 1946 broadcast of "Modern Home Forum." After I looked at the recipes and read the transcript I realized that all of the recipes had been submitted by my grandmother's Junior Brighton 4-H girls group. I found that kind of cool.

I am now inspired to attempt to bake a lot of the sweet treats that I came across! Needless to say I have started my shopping list. Tonight I am going to attempt to turn my grandmother's recipe for Applesauce Nut Bread into muffins.

Applesauce Nut Bread

2 C. sifted flour

1/2 tsp. cinnamon

1 C. coarsely chopped walnuts

3/4 C. sugar

1 egg

3 tsp. baking powder

1 C. applesauce

1 tsp. salt

2 T. melted shortening

1/2 tsp. soda

Sift together dry ingredients. Add walnuts. In mixing bowl beat egg; add applesauce and melted shortening. Add dry ingredients. Stir until just blended. Pour into greased loaf pan. Bake @ 350 for one hour.

************

After I posted this, my aunt forwarded it to my uncle. This was his email response.

Also the kitchen wasn't big enough for the number of people in the picture, but hey Carm, it's your image, so its kitchen can be as big as you need! :)

"The pictures (and odors) _I_ remember involved me in the living room with my shiny new birthday stopwatch timing the strawberry jam; Sloppy Joes on Saturday evenings with Jack Drees narrating Saturday Night at the Races and all of us huddled around our "betting tickets" from Garden City Thrif-T-Mart; and the horrible smells of fried eggplant, fried green tomatoes, steamed dandelion greens out of the backyard, and a few other foods Mom liked but I couldn't stand. (Finally made my peace with fried eggplant, but that's about it.)"

He's 2!

2 years ago today I was sitting in Auburn OBGYN with a heart rate monitor strapped to my large stomach. I was 2 weeks overdue and miserable!!

I can't believe that 2 years has passed since then. You'd never know that TJ took his dear ole sweet time coming into this world! For those of you who don't know, his delivery was horrible.

I went in on a Tuesday night to spend the night and be induced. Well, when they came in to check me in the morning I had went into labor on my own. Keep in mind that I did this without any pain meds. I like the idea of a baby being born without the chance of any unnecessary drugs in their system. I labored from 6am till 9:30pm when TJ finally decided to come out (thanks to the help of Dr. C.) About 9pm my nurse mid-wife (who I LOVE) tried to do a vacuum extraction (her very first one in like 565 births). It failed. TJ was stuck! His heart rate was dropping and I kept forgetting to breath (it's easier to do than you think!) Turns out TJ had his umbilical cord in his hand and that same hand up by his eye. His elbow was above his head, so when he actually came out, he came out elbow first. My nurse mid-wife was afraid they would have to do a C-section to get him out, so she called in Dr. C. I remember Dr. C looking at the heart rate monitor and examining me and saying, "We have no time." The OR staff was actually in the hallway ready to jump in and just cut me open in the delivery room if needed. He did a kind of reverse Heimlich move on me and out popped (seriously, I heard a pop) TJ. He had a gnarly black eye he gave himself, but other than that he was fine. I didn't realize how stressful the situation was for my nurse mid-wife till the next day. She blames her first grey hair on TJ. She also told me that TJ was her first vacuum extraction and the fact that it didn't work really scared her. I truly believe that TJ is here today because of her and her awesome mid-wifery abilities.

It amazes me to look at my 2 year old and remember how tiny he was when he was born. I was thinking on my way to work and I thought, "Oh my goodness. He made it to two. We really had no clue what we were doing when we brought him home, but he has survived till 2!" I can't believe that the booger who runs around the house terrorizing the dog actually came out of me. I am amazed at how God chose to create childbirth and pregnancy. It just amazes me! What really makes me giggle is imagining that at one point, Ayron fit inside his mother!

101 Small Pleasures

I was reading through the recommended articles (thank you yahoo) and came across this one from Shine.com.

"Earlier in the week when we talked about the habits of happy people, many of you mentioned the small pleasures you enjoy that are worth more than anything money can buy, like walking on the beach and flying paper airplanes with your children. Since one of the key tenets of happiness is being able to savor small pleasures, here's a list of 101 delights that are worth enjoying today (not all in one day, though!)."

The list is as follows:

coloring (yes, grown-ups can do it, too)

crisp cotton sheets

soft skin

old family recipes

the first daffodils of spring

sleeping in

an exercise endorphin high

window boxes

a perfect cup of coffee

a genuine compliment (giving or receiving)

the way babies smell

a handwritten letter

waking up in a good mood...for no real reason

singing in the shower

finding a couple forgotten dollars in your pocket

doing something nice for your neighbor

a home cooked meal

laughing

movie theater popcorn

playing hookey

a bubble bath

swimming

an afternoon nap

street musicians

your favorite song

saying thank you

helping someone in need

old fashioned photo booths

fresh whipped cream

inspiring blogs

a glass of wine

rainy afternoons

the funny things kids say

a novel you can get lost in

finding the perfect piece of clothing...on sale

clean laundry

the wind in your hair

treating the person behind you at the drive-thru

sharing an umbrella

the smell of lavender

a long walk that clears your head

a bear hug

The Beatles

smiling at a stranger

eating with chopsticks (Chinese food optional)

butterflies

staying in your pj's all day

singing along to the radio and knowing all the words

fresh herbs

ordering in pizza

happy endings...even if they're fictional

flying a kite

puppies

root beer floats

holding open the door...

...or having someone hold the door for you

fountain soda

white, fluffy towels

sunshine

spending an afternoon at a museum

really great advice

green lights all the way home

the sound of rain hitting the windows

sitting in a booth

holding hands

a great hair day with no effort

building a fort with your kids

when someone falls asleep with their head on your shoulder

fireflies

the perfect taco

geraniums on a windowsill

slow dancing

the smell of fresh-baked bread

cheesy, uplifting musicals

great stories

the smell of gasoline

the cold side of the pillow

love letters

old friends...

...new friends

a pull-through parking space

a baguette -- crisp on the outside, airy on the inside

when a dog licks your hand

sitting at the counter at an old-fashioned diner

using your favorite dishes

reading your child a bedtime story

Girl Scout Cookies

flossing

kissing someone you love

the smell of onions and garlic cooking

hot chocolate

jumping in puddles

old photographs

birds hopping on the sidewalk

Ella Fitzgerald

a spoonful of peanut butter straight from the jar

your softest t-shirt

a new magazine in the mail

fireplaces

having exact change

bacon and pancakes cooking on Saturday morning

I would have to add the smell of freshly cut grass, hearing the birds chirp for the first time in Spring, hearing your child say "I love you," an unexpected phone call or text, a good belly laugh, I could go on and on.

What would YOU add to the list?

Interesting Concept

As an educator I am not sure what I think about this, but am curious what other people think. If this had been offered to you, would you have taken the chance?

Too Connected

Do you ever wonder if there is such a thing as being “over connected?” Between Twitter, MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, Email, it seems that we know exactly what everyone is doing, the moment they do it. We can use our cell phones to text, email, update status, locate places, and make calls! I can even blog from my phone. We are all interconnected thanks to technology.

Sure, used in moderation each of those afore mentioned sites are great, but they can take over your life. Like I said, I admit to being a Facebookaholic. It is a great tool to connect with family that lives in OK, MI, SC, WA, TX, etc. We can share pictures and just know how life is going with everyone. It’s kind of like a mini family reunion without the torturous picture taking session at the end (Come on all you Eaton’s you know what I am talking about. I think Jacque even made a whole FB photo album of the pictures!). But it can take over aspects of your life.

Seriously take a look at how many “friends” or “followers” you have. How many of those people do you actually call up or talk to (face to face) on a weekly basis? Do you really care what the “popular” people from high school are up to now? Will it make your life any better to know what they are doing this very instant? I’m not saying it can’t be a good tool to reconnect with old friends, but just take a genuine look at your “friend” list and discover who really matters. Who are the people you interact with face to face on a weekly basis? Which one of your friends really cares about you? Once you know that, work on developing and nurturing your friendship, because if Facebook/MySpace/Twitter/YouTube were to “die” they would still be your friend.

I used to rush home from work and check Facebook to see if anyone had beaten my Farkle score. In the grand scheme of life, does it really matter? I realized that I was choosing to spend time on the computer instead of time watching my child grow. I felt guilty, but have made changes. I check my email once when I am at home and play one game of Super Farkle. I actually play the game with TJ. He sits on my lap and will scream, “BLOCKS” (he calls the dice blocks) until the game loads. We turn it into a learning time. He loves numbers and will point to a “block” and tell me how many dots are on the dice. I am not trying to brag, but every night he astounds me with his increasing knowledge. He will count each dot. Cracks me up and also scares me. What if he is smarter that I am by the time he is 4?

So I’m still connected, but not obsessed. The fact that I am blogging my thoughts through Blogger which will automatically upload this to a “Note” in Facebook shows that I am connected. But I will admit that it is nice to spend the occasional weekend with the cell phone shut off, the laptop stowed away, the television off and the Ipod uncharged.

Self Reflection

Tis a season of change for me. Both physically, mentally, and emotionally. The physical part is easy. Mentally and emotionally, those are the hard parts!

Physically, I chopped off my hair. It hasn't been this short in a while and I love it. It was so much easier to do this morning! I also agreed to start the mailbox run with Ayron. It is a practice that helps non runners (like myself) get into running. It doesn't sound like much to those of you who are physically active, but to me, it is a start! On day one you run to your neighbors mailbox and back. Day two you run to the house just past your neighbors and back. Day three you run three houses down and back, etc. I am sure I'll feel silly just running next door and back, but it is a start! I have also started parking in the back of the parking lot and walking. Once again, doesn't seem like much, but it is something. I have also started to really watch what I eat and do portion control. I also have cut out pop and this time, I have been doing well with it. I still have the occasional head ache and urge to reach for a pop, but so far I haven't caved. I drink about 4 liters of water a day. Keeps me running to the restroom every hour, on the hour, but I know my kidney's are working! I also walk most of my "office mail." My "office" (it's really and old style ranch house that is close to downtown Angola) isn't far from anyplace I need to send "inter-office" mail. I used to just put it in the mail bin and let someone else walk it where it needed to go, but now I just do it myself. It's faster, I get some fresh air, some sunshine (when it is available) and it's another way to keep me moving.


Self reflection is hard and painful. I am examining the way I conduct myself and how I view things and attempting to change them. I realize that I have slacked off in certain aspects of my life and that is not what I want to do. I know that the process of reflection can be hard and painful, but I also know that it brings about growth. I also know that I tend to bottle up emotions and then let them explode at the worst time and it gets directed at the wrong people. I thank God everyday for Ayron and his ability to put up with my flakiness. While I love my job, it also comes with enormous stress. If I could, I would take home all of these kids and raise them the way I think they should be raised. I can't and so I take home their emotional baggage. I shouldn't, but I do. I spend some nights just worrying for them. Do they have heat at home? Does she have enough money to feed and diaper her baby? Are they going to try to run away? My heart breaks for these kids and yet I know that their actions are what brought them to me. That realization can turn into anger and that is not what my kids (that is what I call them) need. They need someone to just listen to them. I had three students in court this week and I know that two of them are not happy. I only hope that 5 years down the line, they realize why I did what I did. I know they think that I was after them but they needed help that I cannot provide. It was nice to hear about the success of my other student who was in court and that thankful look given to me by him and his family made it all worth it. I have to keep looking at the positive. So far this school year we have worked with 28 students. 5 are still active (and doing great), 20 were successful, and 3 were not. That is an 89% success rate. I would like to have my rate up to 90% by the end of the school year. We have yet to hit our busy season (the weather gets nice, the kids get antsy, they break they law in the process) so it may be possible. This is by far our biggest (numbers wise) year yet. I am not trying to brag, but these stats are what make me realize why I do what I do and why I care so much.

I recently had a day where I just felt like I had the opposite of the King Midas touch. Everything I tried to do, I tried with the best intentions, but it only managed to explode in my face. I was having a rough day and a relative told me, " What helps me when I feel that way is to focus on things that cannot change. I am a Mother, I am a Daughter, and I know that I am a good Mom and good Daughter. I start seeing myself as my mom does, or as my children do, and I begin the small steps to dig out of that feeling."

(Raises an imaginary glass) So here is to making the changes we can and praying for guidance with the things we can't.

Awesome Pie Recipe

Lately I have been trying a lot of new recipes. I don't want my family to get into a rut and I don't want my child to be a picky eater (his new favorite food is greek chicken with artichokes and feta cheese!).

This afternoon I made a very tasty pie! While I haven't eaten it yet (it has to chill for 3 hours), I did lick the beaters and I was in heaven!!!

Crust
1 package of Marta White Chocolate Chip Muffin Mix
1/3 C. of salted peanuts (chopped)
4 T. of melted (or just softened) butter

Filling
1/2 C. Peanut Butter
3 oz. Cream Cheese (softened)
1/3 C. Sugar
3 T. Milk
2 C. Whipped Topping (thawed)
Chocolate Fudge Topping

To Make the Crust: Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. Thoroughly spray a 9 inch pie plate with non stick cooking spray. Combine all the "Crust" ingredients. Press into the pie plate (bottom and sides) and bake for 13 to 16 minutes. Bake until golden brown. Remove the crust from the oven. If the crust is puffy, use the back of wooden spoon to flatten it out. Let the crust cool completely.

To Make Filling: Combine the peanut butter, cream cheese and sugar. Beat until smooth. Add the milk and beat till combined. Fold in the whipped topping. Once thoroughly combined, pour into cooled crust. Drizzle with chocolate fudge topping. Cover and refrigerate for at least 3 hours.

I did it for me, spare me any lectures!

Dear Readers, Family, Friends, and Facebook Peps,

Please spare me any negative complaints or suggestions. Spare me any lectures about what I chose to do. I am 26 years old and I did my research. This was not a spur of the moment decision. This was a five year process that finally came true. I have my personal reasons for what I did and I am happy with my results. I was able to involve a couple of friends in the process and I am very thankful to them for helping me. Once again, spare me any lectures.

I FINALLY GOT MY TATTOO!!!!! Like I said in my "disclaimer" this has been an event 5 years in the making! I have done my research and talked to several people over the years. I knew what to look for when choosing a parlor and was not pressured to do anything I didn't want to do. I chose a design from a website, but had a friend (and fellow inked friend) change it and make it mine.

I choose a place where it won't be seen on a daily basis. So why get it then you ask? I got it for me. Like I said, I have my reasons for why I did what I did and I am fully aware it will be with me for the rest of my life and I am happy with that. It will serve as a constant reminder of what I believe and how His love has carried me through some hard times and just like my tat will never leave me, neither will He. It is located in the upper middle of my back. It will only really be seen by "the public" if I am wearing a bathing suit. It won't stick out the top of my shirt, and I don't wear shirts that expose my back, so it will be tucked away.

I chose my design and gave it to J-rod to alter and he did a great job (LOVE IT). Leah W. went with us to Ft. Wayne and it was great to have her there. It was great to hang out as friends and not as parents! It was like the old days, before marriage and kids. I will admit that I almost chickened out, but I am glad I didn't.

It wasn't that bad, pain wise. There were a couple of spots where it actually tickled. I was lucky to get an artist that has been doing tats for 9 years and he was very patient and walked me through everything step by step. He was willing to give me lots of breaks for water and to stand up. The whole tat from start to finish only took 20 minutes, but it is on my spine which can be a painful place. There were only about 3 times where it really hurt. I can't describe the feeling (I wouldn't call it pain), it was like something I had never experienced before. Keep in mind I gave birth without any drugs and TJ came out all goofy so I knew I could stand the tattoo "pain" after 16 hours of labor.

My tat experience was topped with a sold out bout (we got the last tickets!) with the Ft. Wayne Derby Girls. Both SWAT and Bomb Squad won and Dodger L. Bow had at least 2 grand slams. It was a great day!

Without further ado, here is my tattoo.

Who Needs Hot Water Anyways?

Yesterday Ayron and I discovered we didn't have any hot water. He checked the pilot light on the water heater and it had gone out. We re-lite it only to have it go out again. After checking with my favorite "Rent A Hubby" (Josh O.) we decided to change out a part (I'm a girl and can't think of the actual name of the part...it's kind of like the hot surface igniter on a furnace).

Long story short, I woke up this morning with a NyQuil hangover only to discover the pilot light had gone out again and I had the privilege of taking a nice cold shower on a miserable Monday morning. GRRRR.

Ayron stayed home today to see if he could fix it. We have the money to get a new water heater, but if we can just change out one part, I'd rather do that. It seems like every time we get some step closer to getting the house "remodeled" the way we want it, something happens. First the stupid cleanout pipe to the street (what I like to call "Mud Bowl '07 because Ayron managed to flood the front yard), then the dumb furnace, then our flooded bathroom, and now this. I am beginning to think that the former owner of the house is angry with me for cutting down the rose bush (it had never bloomed for me) and the lilac bush (it had been hit by lightening and was half dead).

Good "Old Fashioned" Music

I put old fashioned in quotes because I know that cd's aren't old fashioned, but to those of us who grew up during the 90's and experienced the thrill of buying your first cd and are now familiar with iTunes, cd's seem like a thing of the past.

I knew that I wanted to purchase some music today. I enjoy music by a certain band (no need to name the band for the purpose of the blog) and they had a new cd released today. I debated between iTunes and just going to Wal-Mart and purchasing an actual cd. Something tangible I could hold as opposed to some files on my computer. I decided on buying the actual disk.

I like having something to hold, after all I spent my hard earned money, I should be able to actually hold whatever it is that I purchase. I like to look at the cd insert, read the lyrics, the "thank you's" written by the band, etc. I like to have the cd in my car and the songs on my ipod (which lives on the iHome in my living room).

I eagerly got back to my office and opened the cd (I am finishing a grant today and music is essential to my grant writing success) and was instantly disappointed. The cd insert didn't have the lyrics. I like the lyrics. I like to read through them and try to figure out what inspired the songs. So with no lyrics in the cd insert, I have to wonder if I would have been better off just buying the cd in iTunes. I would have saved 1 cent by buying it through iTunes. Oh well....so what do you think? Do you use iTunes or do you buy actual cd's?

New Favorite

I love music, that isn't a shocker. I have Incorporated it into my classroom as a study tool as well as a therapeutic tool. It can be used as a worship tool and used to cross cultural divides. I just love music! I have recently discovered the band Need to Breathe and I have fallen in love with their song "Lay 'em Down."

With so much happening in my life right now, the song serves as a reminder to just hand everything over to Him.

Come down to the river
Come and let yourself in
Make good on a promise
To never hurt again

If you're lost and lonely
You're Broken down
Bring all of your troubles
Come lay 'em down

All you sinners
And the weak at heart
All you helpless
On the boulevards
Wherever you are now
Whatever evil you've found
Bring all of your troubles
And come lay 'em down

We're all tied to the same old failing
Finding shelter in things we know
We're all dirty like corrupted small towns
We'll bring our troubles
We'll bring our troubles
Lay 'em down

All you rich men
And the high above
All of those with and without love
All you burdened broken down
Bring all of your troubles

Come lay 'em down
Come lay 'em down [x4]

Come all you broken [Come lay 'em down]
Come all you helpless [Come lay 'em down]
Bring all your burden [Come lay 'em down]
And just lay 'em down [Come lay 'em down]
Come all you broken [Come lay 'em down]
Come all you helpless [Come lay 'em down]
Bring all your troubles [Come lay 'em down]
Just lay 'em down
Come lay 'em down [x3]

Really? Seriously? Come on now, really?

So I decided to have a drug screen day today at work. Since I have two males students, I called a male officer from my other office to come over and do the screen.

I have one student who was "dirty" for his last screen and before being taken into the bathroom he was asked, "What are you going to test positive for this time?" The student admitted to smoking marijuana three days ago. I immediately got mad and went off. I usually don't "go off" on my students, but this kid has bugged me from day one. After a lecture from myself, the other teacher and the officer the kid looked at me and in all sincerity and said, "So I should quit smoking weed?"

I laughed. I didn't mean to laugh, but I did. It was the most absurd thing to have been said at my "school" in awhile and it caught me off guard. How am I supposed to react to that? I am still sitting at my desk shaking my head, trying to figure out this kids thought process.

I told him, "Look, not only is it illegal, but you are already in trouble with the law, why do you want to see how far you can push it? The judge gets to decide your fate and you already have one dirty screen on your file, soon to be two. You can try adding a third if you want, but I promise you, you will not like the judges decision."

Days like today make me love my job! I am serious. I would never get to deal with this kind of silliness in a public school.

Going Back To School

As all teachers know, you must continually go back to school to keep your license current, etc. That means more portfolio work, yada yada. I have been thinking about going back to school for some time but really not sure if I want to seek a master's degree in Education. I don't aspire to be a principal nor do I want to be a guidance counselor, so I felt stuck. I began to wonder if I could go back to school to learn more about criminal justice and use it towards my continuing education (CE) credits, so I emailed the head of licensing at IPFW.

I told J.B. (the head of teacher licensing at IPFW) about my job and how I seem to work in that world where criminal justice meets education. I told him that I knew the education side of things because that is my bachelor's degree, but how I often feel ignorant about the criminal justice side of things. I asked him, "Can I take credits outside of the world of education and have it count towards my CE credits? Do those classes have to be at the graduate level?"

This morning I was told that due to the nature of my job, Jim will allow me to take undergraduate classes in criminal justice and use those credits to count towards a Criminal Justice degree as well as my CE credits. I am excited. I am ready to pull out my backpack, pack some new pencils and pens and go back to school! I emailed my boss about taking summer classes and counting that time on my work time card. Hopefully he says yes. All that is left to do is figure out what classes I want to take and financial aid. I know that IPFW isn't "expensive" by some peoples standards, but right now I could use all the help I could get. I am actually excited about learning about an area I know very little about!

Insomniac

I have never been a night owl. Never had a late night cram session. I was always the first one to fall asleep at slumber parties. I have only been to IHOP after 9pm once and that was for a bachelorette party. I just don't do nights.....until this week.

I have discovered that I have developed the inability to sleep. I have not changed my bedroom routine one bit. In fact, I have enhanced it. The nice warm shower before bed, glass of warm milk, soft lighting, etc. I have stopped drinking caffeine and stopped the bedtime snacking, and yet, sleep doesn't come.

The funny thing is, I don't fall asleep till 2am, yet I wake up at 6am like normal. I feel refreshed even though I know I didn't sleep. I am not sleepy, yet I know these late nights of dishnetwork surfing will catch up with me, but I just can't sleep!

I do a lot of praying and thinking when I can't sleep (this probably doesn't help me fall asleep, but at least I feel productive). This gets my mind going, and then I really can't fall asleep, even if I am tired!

I'm sure my lack of sleep isn't helping me fight off this cold. I do believe I have been invaded by a sinus bug and it is kicking my butt. I have decided to work a half day today and then go home and force myself to take an afternoon nap.

Even afternoon naps are difficult. We are a napping family. When TJ takes a nap, Ayron and I take a nap. It's our weekend ritual. It's great. The past month, I am wide awake during nap time. Not taking naps has done wonders for my Super Mario Brothers (on the Wii of course) skills because I am able to play without Ayron watching my every move.

I just want to sleep!

Foster vs. Adoption vs. Pregnancy

Ayron and I have been talking about expanding our family. This shouldn't be shocker to anyone! We are debating and seeking personal stories on the many ways to expand a family (hence the title of this post). I am more or less going to ramble my own thoughts about each of the three ways and hope that someone out there has some input/personal stories/advice on each method.

Pregnancy
Part of me thinks, "Been there, done that." It was a rough pregnancy. It took us a year to get actually get pregnant and that only happened with the help of gluchopage (diabetic medicine that has the side effect of helping with fertility while not increase the risk of multiples). I was sick all the time, pinched nerves, weight loss, etc. Not to mention the actual birthing process. Taylor came out elbow first, but only after stopping his own heart several times (He had his umbilical cord in his fist).

But along with the scary and not so fun parts are the amazing parts. Knowing that God is knitting together this baby inside of you. Knowing that you are carrying another human. Feeling the baby move inside you (except for when it kicks your full bladder). All of those things are amazing. Seeing the little heartbeat on the screen for the first time just makes your heart melt.

I wouldn't mind being pregnant again, but if it never happened again I wouldn't be heartbroken either. I have experienced it once and that is amazing, if He allows it to happen again, I will gladly give it my best shot!

Adoption
We are very ignorant about the adoption process. We have reached out to friends of ours who have adopted two children (one Fillipino and one Floridian). We are going to meet with them for dinner and seek their advice, wisdom, story, etc.

I know it can be a long process and can even be heart wrenching, but I am willing to try. The thought of being able to care for, love, and raise a child that someone can't excites me. We would be giving this child a shot at life that they might not have gotten had we not stepped up.

We even talked about adopting an older child. We had our baby days and we know that the odds of an older child getting adopted are greatly reduced. We also know that older children may come with their baggage and we think we have enough community resources, as well as family strength to help with those.

Fostering
Due to the nature of my job I work a lot with foster kids. It seems they are just seeking someone to actually love them. Someone who gives a darn about them and is willing to say so. I talked to a foster student yesterday on the phone who is coming back to the area (wasn't originally in foster care, but the situation has changed). I flat out told her, "We have missed you and your smile. We were heartbroken when we heard what had happened, but we are there for you. Please come back." She cried and said that was she wanted to hear. They just want someone to love them and give them guidelines, kids like structure. They will fight it, but it makes them feel secure and cared for.

My biggest fear with fostering is becoming too attached. It would be very difficult for me to give a child back to the biological parents if I felt the environment they were going back to was not safe. I would be the crazy lady on the news who has the kids held hostage in her home to keep them from going back to an unfit home.

Fostering also allows us the opportunity to touch more than just one child's life. We would be able to have many children over the course of our family. It would also allow Ayron to be a stay at home, dad, something he really wants to do.

I look at so many of my students and think, "If I could just take them home maybe their lives would be better. They could have a warm bed, hot shower, decent food and a family that gives a darn."

We are also very ignorant about the fostering system and are seeking some advice/personal stories/etc.

If anyone has any information or contact people we can speak with, please let us know! We are praying and hoping He shows us the path He wants us to take.

And Another Year Begins

So I am 8 days into the new year and nothing major has changed, not that I expected it to. I don't make resolutions because who actually sticks with them? I am choosing to look ahead to this year and anticipate all that He has in store for us.

Ayron's job has been on the rocks (as if anyone in NE Indiana doesn't know about Kruse), but he is always looking. Taylor is growing like crazy and will repeat anything you say, thus causing me to yell at Ayron about his potty mouth. Scooter is still Scooter, a lovable pain in the butt. Ayron and I celebrated the 9 year anniversary of our first date (and 4 year anniversary of our engagement) by hanging out with some old friends and counting down to midnight.

So what does this next year hold for me. I don't know, but I am trying to be optimistic. It seems like there are so many paths we could take, we are just waiting for the green light from Him. We have thought about moving, and I don't mean just across town. Our family is what keeps us here. We are both very much "family" people and couldn't stand to live so far away from our family. Although if a certain couple were to move to the office/plant in SC, I might be persuaded to move...you know who you are!

This summer will mark our five year wedding anniversary and we are seriously considering a trip to Vegas. I want to do the cheesiest wedding chapel vow renewal possible. I want Ayron in a too small, powder blue tuxedo, with a ruffle shirt of course. I want to find the biggest sleeved, lace covered wedding dress (to rent of course). Someone suggested a behive hair do for me, and I think a faux hawk for Ayron. I can't wait.

Taylor will turn 2 this year. I can't believe that 2 years have almost passed. It seems like just yesterday we couldn't wait for him to walk and now we wish he's slow down. It amazes me how much he is able to absorb and process on a daily basis. He has become my little kitchen helper and will hopefully be quite the chef!

I know a lot will happen this year, and I am willing to take the good with the bad!

Is It Really Christmas?

It just doesn't feel like Christmas to me. We put up the lights, decorated a tree, did some holiday shopping, attending an office party, attended an ugly sweater party, shoveled snow, and yet....it doesn't feel like Christmas.

I normally start listening to Christmas music right after Thanksgiving, but not this year. Maybe it's because we just finally got back home and settled into our normal routine. Maybe it's been because we keep passing around the same cold. Who knows. It just doesn't feel like Christmas.

Smartipants

Last night I had dinner with a friend and while we ate, our boys trashed her house. We were talking about diapers (she has a 22 month old and a 5 month old) and she showed me something she recently purchased. I was captivated by a cloth diaper. Seriously people, a cloth diaper.

I had thought about using cloth diapers with TJ, but I was scared and we just went the disposable route (all of you "green" people can lecture me later). After looking through the website and talking to Leah about them, I am sold!

I came home and told Ayron, "If/when we have #2, we are getting these!"

House Update

I really don't have anything fascinating to report, but since I know some family members read this I thought I'd update them on the progress at our house.

The drywall went up yesterday. Today the taping and mudding will be done and left to dry overnight. Ayron is going to paint the vanity and the medicine cabinet this afternoon. Tonight we are going to pick out our flooring for the kitchen/dining room.

Tomorrow the bathroom will be painted. Thursday the bathroom will get another coat of paint and the flooring in the kitchen/dining room will go down. Friday the professionals will come and put the bathroom flooring down. Then, next Monday, the final step....carpet.

I am so ready to move back into my house and get on with life! I think I am so eager to move home because we are going to put up a Christmas tree this year! We haven't put a tree up in three years because of the accident, then we had a dog, and then TJ, yada yada. This year, no excuses, the tree is going up!

Destruction Day 1

We officially moved out of our house yesterday morning. I had to laugh because 3 years ago (almost to the day) we moved out of my in-laws house and into our first home and now we are moving back in with my in-laws.

I decided to stop by the house on my way home to just see what had been done. I didn't know what to expect, but I was blown away. We do have a Reeves Construction sign in our yard, so that means that all the nosey elderly neighbors came by at least twice to see what was going on. We have a large dumpster occupying our driveway and a construction trailer in the front yard. All of this I expected.

They gutted my house like a fish! I have a toilet in my living room. My brother in law thought it would be funny to sit it right where the recliner normal sits, he was right, it cracked me up. They tore up all the carpet and low and behold, we have really ugly 1950's tile that runs throughout the whole house. They tore out one whole bathroom wall, and half of the other. Took down my shower doors and ripped up the flooring. It looks really different, but knowing it will all be fixed soon is great.

Here is the kicker. It wouldn't be happening to anyone else but me. I just got off the phone with Tom (my contractor and father in law). Before we did any digging into the slab we had a guy come and mark the water lines. He marked them and we all thought that Tom's assumption was right. We assumed we would have to hack hammer up a large portion of the slab, fix the pipe, pour new cement, wait for it to cure, put in the walls, etc. Well, this morning Tom and Phil (my brother in law) started tearing up the concrete only to figure out that the guy had marked the lines wrong and we really didn't need to take up the slab to fix the broken pipe. So this whole remodel could have only taken a week, but since the moron marked the lines wrong, and we dug into cement, we are back at a 2 week process. I had to laugh, this would only happen to us. I was so excited when Tom told me, "Hey, the problem isn't where we thought, it will be a much faster and easier fix." Then he paused. I said, "Ok, just tell me." He said, "Too bad we already cut into the cement and tore up the floor only to find out we didn't have to do that." Bah Humbug!

I am going to take some pictures of our recently destroyed house tonight. It's kind of cool to be apart of the remodel from start to finish. It is great to know that the mold is finally out of my house and my new carpet is on its way!

Not Sure

Right now I am not sure how I feel about anything. Part of me wants to just not care, but part of me knows that I can't do that. I think what I am trying to avoid feeling is a mix of frustration and misunderstanding. Not about anything in particular, but just life in general. If I can't pinpoint the source how am I supposed to fix it? I just keep wandering, "What am I supposed to learn from all of this?" I think I am supposed to learn to stand up for myself, and I took that first step this morning, but I know that it will be pushed aside and not taken seriously.

We have been dealing with the insurance mess since September and just finally got that all straightened out and the check will go into the bank this afternoon with the remodel starting on Monday. It is nice to know that the ball is finally rolling, and at a nice pace, on this project. It just took so long and I suddenly don't care any more. I don't want to make any more decisions, I don't want to call and complain to the insurance company anymore. I don't want to deal with the mess of boarding the dog and moving out for a week. I just don't care.

Work is another aspect that I am rapidly getting frustrated with. I feel like I am constantly getting dumped on, by everyone. Parents call and complain to me and get mad at me for their kid being expelled from school. HELLO?! They obviously did something to be expelled from school, don't get mad that I am offering you an alternative to juvenile detention. I feel like other individuals I have to associate with take me and my program for granted. No one asks me what I think or feel about situations, they just assume I will automatically do it. I feel like I am the only one watching my back and the only one looking out for the well being of my students. Someone has to care about them, why can't I?

I finally decided to express my concerns to the powers that be, but I have a feeling that they will just be brushed aside. How do I not let them get brushed aside without looking like a needy brat? How can I stand up for myself in a professional manner but not break down emotionally? I am not the type who can leave work at work. I often spend countless hours at night (when I should be sleeping) thinking of things I can say or do with the students to help them. I become emotionally attached to these kids. So many of them have parents that have written them off and the schools have tossed them aside, but all they need is a different teaching style, or someone to just care about them. They can sense when someone is being genuine and truly wants to see them succeed. So I carry all of their baggage along with mine and it makes me emotional. Heck, just sitting here typing this I am on the verge of tears. So how do I check those emotions at the door to make sure I don't get trampled?

Do I have to check those emotions at the door? If I show the emotions I am afraid I will be seen as weak, and that is not the image I want to portray. When men are assertive at work they are seen as strong and willing to take the lead. When women do it we are seen as bitches and bossy. Where is that fine line and how do I find it. I don't feel that what I am asking for is unreasonable. I know my worth and I think it is only fair to be given the respect that I feel I deserve and have earned. How do I make others see that? I constantly feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall and getting no where, so why don't I stop banging my head? What is it that makes me think I can actually bust down that wall? I know that there are several other paths around the wall, yet for some reason I can't stop hitting my head against it in an attempt to break it down.

I guess I'm just seeking advice, wisdom, personal experience, motivation, encouragement, whatever it is you have to give me.

Let the remodel begin!

Well, we finally got a check from the insurance company (we have been dealing with this since Sept. 23!). They made the check out to us and Chase Home Finance. We were afraid we would have to mail the check off to our mortgage company and then wait for someone to sign it and send it back. We decided to be clever and we called the Chase bank branch in Kendalville. The bank manager was able to get clearance and sign the check for us! I will be depositing that money this afternoon, then I will turn around and write a check for the exact same amount to Reeves Construction.

With the help of my mother in law, we were able to finally decide on paint colors for the bathroom. Last Friday we picked out the carpet for the house and our bedroom, but choosing paint turned into a sore subject. I literally threw a fit like a toddler in Home Depot because Ayron was not listening to me. It was childish, but I did get my point across. I was showing my mother in law the colors I liked and let me tell you, when her and I team up, Ayron and Tom (my father in law) lose every time! I got lucky because the colors I picked actually match really well with the flooring Ayron chose. I let Ayron pick the flooring before we even looked at paint, I have learned you have to pick your battles and in this case, it worked in my favor! The only choice left to make is what kind of flooring will go in the kitchen/dining room. That will be the last project done (during this whole remodel) so I have about a week before I really need to make my mind up on that.

This will be the color we paint the walls. The vanity/medicine cabinet/cabinet above the toilet will be this color. We choose Sand Shore for the ceiling and trim. Although, now that I look at Sand Shore on the website, I realize it looks nothing like the color sample I have before me. I guess I would describe it as a mix between a nice creamy egg shell and and a very pale brownish yellow...yeah, that sounds ugly...but it's not!

When I posted the color choices to facebook last night my smart alec cousin wrote back: You are going to get hungry while you look at the turtles with your toes in the sand sitting on the loo.

Random Update

It seems like there is a lot going on in my life right now, but nothing major. Just lots of little things. I am in the mood to "blog" but since I really don't have a lot of blogworthy thoughts, here are some random things that have been happening in my life.

* Dawn got married! Yes folks, the girl who swore she'd always be single said, "I do." And it was awesome!

* My wireless is down at work. Not a big thing, just frustrating. I can't get it to work and of course I can't get the IT guy (my boss) to actually answer any of his phones or his email!

* We are moving. Nothing major, we just have to move out while the renovations are done to our house. The insurance company finally put a check in the mail yesterday. Ayron and I are going this afternoon to pick out the carpet for the hallway/living room, the carpet for our bedroom, and the tile for the dining room and the bathroom. Who know that one cracked pipe would cause so much damage! I am happy that my father-in-law is the contractor we are able to use. I would much rather "employ" someone I know than a stranger. Nothing like having strangers in and out of your house for a week. We will hopefully be able to stay with Ayron's parents during the remodel and Scooter will be boarded.

* TJ is learning all sorts of new things everyday and it amazes me. My mom takes him to the library on Tuesdays for library class and last night he proceeded to sing all of their songs to me. It was great, almost made me want to cry because Mom gets to experience all of this with him while I am at work. He even knew the motions. It was great! As soon as I got out the video camera to capture his little song and dance show, he clamed up and wouldn't even look at the camera.

* We are approaching the 3 year anniversary of my sister-in-laws accident and I will probably write that blog post today. It is amazing how 30 seconds 3 years ago can dramatically change several lives.

* I actually got on stage and did improv! It was for a women's group at church, but it was fun!

* Work is just as crazy, but I don't think I'd like it if I was bored. Ayron is still looking for another job as well as his unemployment to kick in. It is great that he can stay home with TJ on some days, but having that extra money would be nice too.

Well, I should find something to do so I can consider today productive!

2255B County Road 27, Waterloo IN

This post is not intended to be sad and sappy, rather a post to remember the crazy times had by all!!

2255 B, CR 27 will never be the same. Mr. and Mrs. B have sold the cabin. It is time for change in their lives. They no longer need to put forth the time and energy needed to maintain the cabin that we all grew up in. I mean we...all of us.

That cabin has housed people from all over the world. Some for just a brief summer experience, others for an entire school year. We jokingly began to call it, "IHOB: International House Of Bennett's."

The house welcomed everyone and their crazy antics. I remember one winter when all the Bennett kid's had friends over for a snowball fight. Well, due to a snow emergency, everything north of US 6 was closed and we were all snowed in. The Bennett's merely dug out all the spare blankets and pillows and we had one heck of sleep over! Don't forget Jarrod and Nick's Sunday chat's between both bathrooms. The fact that the walls didn't actually reach the ceiling. That sun room saw it's fair share of Euchre and Caboodle games (Marc always cheated!). The many pool parties and the pool side church service/baptismal. The campfires back in the woods and the fireworks across the road.

Who could forget the often seen, but never touched, Twoie (I am guessing on the spelling), or Bear and his chair on the deck. Don't forget Jade and Pudge and the numerous kittens.

That house is full of memories for people other than the family that lived there. I think I spent so much time there, they probably could have charged me rent! What are your favorite memories about the cabin?