Quote

I love quotes. I have a journal full of them at home that I have collected as well as published books of quotes. I just love them!

I am reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom (author of Tuesday's with Morrie). It is an interesting book and I think now a movie too. Anyways, I came across this quote and it struck me. The protagonist is reunited with his former Army Captain and they are discussing how the Captain died (While escaping from enemy prison he stepped on a land mine while checking to see if the road was clear. The rest of the group was in an escape vehicle with the protagonist badly wounded in the backseat). The Captain says the following:

" That's the thing. Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious (talking about his own life to save the protagonist) you're not really losing it. You're just passing it on to someone else."

I don't know why, but that quote struck me. I guess I had never thought of sacrifice in that manner. It makes you look at sacrificing something in a whole new light.

OUCH!!!

Reuters - Wed Sep 26, 10:16 AM ET
Baby girl Nadia (L), who weighed 7.75 kg (17.1 lbs) after birth, lies in a maternity ward in the Siberian

Good Luck

I just want to say Good Luck to my two nieces who are showing their rabbits this morning. They each have one show rabbit and one meat rabbit. My oldest niece also has a meat pen. They had to be ready to show at 6:30 this morning so I am sure it wasn't easy to get them up, out of bed, dressed and to the barns that early. When we called at 7 they were on the judging table waiting for their turn. Hopefully the judging goes well and that tomorrow they sell the rabbits for big money. Big money means more money saved for college.

Looking In

Have you ever looked at your life as an outsider? Imagined how people see you and compare that to how you actually are at home. I recommend it, it can be very insightful.

As I was driving to work I was feeling a bit down about some things and I passed someone I know. I thought, "Now they have it all together. Great spouse, nice house, good job, etc." Then I wondered, "I wonder if they have any problems?" Of course we all have problems, we all don't share them, but we all have them. It sounds sick, but it made me feel better to realize that everyone has struggles.

I then wondered how our opinion of everyone would change if we all knew each others problems. Would be love them the same? I hope so, but deep down I know that would change some peoples minds.

Turtle or Hamburger

I have an ultra sound this afternoon and we are hoping to find out the gender of Taylor so we can start using the proper pronouns. For those of you who have never had an ultra sound, if they see a turtle, it's a boy. A hamburger is a girl. I am only 15 weeks and 5 days and they usually wait until at least 16 weeks, so we are hoping that Taylor cooperates and we can know.

I really don't care either way. I just want a healthy child. I would like to have a boy some where along the line, but I know that Ayron really wants Taylor to be a boy. Ayron is the last Reeves and he wants to carry on the name. I am afraid that he might be slightly disappointed if Taylor is a girl. I just really want to know that everything is ok. I read At First Sight by Nicholas Sparks this week and it freaked me out. If you are pregnant, don't read that book!

I am afraid I'll be disappointed if we get there and they can't tell. That would mean another month of waiting and wondering. We have been using the pronoun "he" when we are at home and once I slipped and said it in front of his family and they got all excited about Taylor being a boy. Once they calmed down I had to explain that we didn't know yet.

I'm also hoping to hear that I've gained weight. Odd, you never hear/read a woman say/write that, but I am. I've lost around 15 maybe 20 pounds so far this pregnancy. Ayron is concerned that I don't eat. I do! I just have been eating healthier. I am much more conscious about what I eat (of course as I write that I see a mini KitKat sitting on my desk and I am seriously thinking about devouring it). I hope I can keep that will power up after Taylor is here. I'd love to get back down to the size I was my freshman year in college (I didn't gain the frosh 20, I lost the frosh 25). Half of that KitKat is gone now.

I just wish I could speed up time and make it 2:45 so that I could know. Pray that all is well. Oh yeah, no more KitKat.

Cute Picture

He had one to many pretzels, or maybe it was one to many beer bottles that did him in.

Quotable Quotes

Here are two funny quotes from our (Ayron and I) conversations last night.

# 1 : I was feeling antsy so we went to the fair and walked through the tent (I didn't want to mess with downtown and the parade. We decided to check on our nieces rabbits down at the barns before we came home. As we were walking through the rabbit barn:

Me: I'll look on this side, you look on that side.
Ayron: Okay.
Me: Oh, Ayron, look rabbits.

Everyone looked at me like I was stupid. Of course there are rabbits, I was standing in the middle of the freaking rabbit barn. You should have seen the look on one of the 4-H fathers that was there cleaning cages. I'm sure I looked very dumb. What I intended to say was "Look, the girls' rabbits." Ok, so I guess you had to be there to hear me exclaim "Look, rabbits."

# 2: After we got home from the fair Ayron was complaining about how sore he was from playing flag football Sunday afternoon. He was moaning and groaning and I told him to take some Tylenol and a hot shower. He pouted like a little kid and said, "Even my fat rolls hurt." I fell to the floor laughing because when I turned to look at him he was holding his tummy pudge in his hands and closely examining it like if he looked close enough he could make it stop hurting.

I Love Being Productive

I love being busy at work. It makes the day go faster. I was grouchy this morning because I thought I'd have another boring day at work with nothing to do (I know, to some people that sounds great, but I'd rather be busy, makes the day go by quicker).

I managed to get a lot done today:

*I entered points into case management
* Updated point board
* Updated files in case management
* Talked to someone about our grant (thanks for the $2k)
* Finished planning October Activities for the after school program (took the longest)
* Cleaned off my desk
* Cleaned out my desk
* Cleaned out the mini fridge in my office
* Reran some cords to prevent tripping hazards
* Dusted in my office
* Cleaned off top of filing cabinet
* Cleaned off my bulletin board
* Did monthly Clerk assessments
* Started monthly probation reports

Now, if I could just find something to do to occupy the last hour and half of the day.

Random Rambles

I have a million thoughts going through my head right now and really, I can't link any of them together, but I feel the need to get them out there, so this blog will be a bit disjointed. This is nothing new if you know me, but believe me, there is a story behind each comment.

* What is the fascination with pregnant bellies? My sister wanted to take a picture of my stomach. I didn't show it off before I was pregnant, why start now? My Aunt wants Ayron to take belly pictures. I don't know why, but I'm not comfortable with that. I'm not a fan of documenting my weight in pictures to begin with, so why start while I'm gaining weight?

* Yeah for Justin. Going to the chapel and we're (actually they're) gonna get married. Going to Africa and they're gonna work with orphans......

* Why did Kianne call me right after running into ________? I don't mind, it just reminded me of being in high school. It was cool to learn what I learned.

* "Flag Football" doesn't exists when you get a bunch of guys together. People still end up getting tackled.

* I am not a fan of these out of control emotions. I found myself crying at "Save the Last Dance" while I was home on Saturday. Seriously! I know it's a movie, but still, I was bawling like a baby.

* I wasn't feeling kicks, I was feeling hiccups. Funny feeling, but I still want to feel a kick. I am getting excited about our appointment this Thursday. I am really hoping we can find out the sex. Pray that we can! I don't care either way, I just want Taylor to be healthy. I want to know. I think it will make it seem more real to me. Taylor will have a pronoun.

* The fair begins today. I have mixed feelings about the fair. I like the industrial tent. I like the animal barns. I don't like the scary people that run the rides and games. I don't like running into all of those people from high school you wished you'd never see again.

* My appetite is finally back! I went grocery shopping Saturday and I did a dumb thing. I went before eating lunch. I did manage to fight craving urges, but I am looking forward to that ham steak that is currently occupying the second shelf in the fridge.

* I think I have run out of things to say.....for now anyways.

Why Am I Here??

As I sit in my lonely office, I wonder, "Why am I even here?" I don't have any day students. I have put in my required hours for the week. I feel like left over mashed potatoes that have been left on the stove to rot. All of my after school kids are sick.

There are three things keeping me here today: I have a meeting with my boss at 10 (will last all of like 5 minutes), at work I have Internet access, waiting for the grant paperwork so I can buy computers.

I did manage to remember to bring a book today, so I guess I could occupy myself with that for awhile.

***********************

@ Nathan: Ahh, I would love that! It would give me a challenge and something to do. The busier I am the quicker time passes.

Kid Nation

I have been following the controversy about the new CBS show "Kid Nation." A lot of people and critics are against it. While I don't know all of the details, I do know that the controversy probably also caused a lot of people to watch the premiere last night. I did manage to catch several of the kids and parents being interviewed by morning shows yesterday. The kids and parents are comfortable with the whole thing.

Ayron and I watched the episode last night and were impressed. It is great to see kids that young with a solid head on their shoulders. It was also amazing to see all of the kids interact with Jimmy in an attempt to cheer him up. Even the two big bullies wanted him to stay. I think it will be a very interesting show to watch.

In My Condition

I just got off the phone with a co-worker. We were talking about something and she said, "In you're condition, that's probably the last thing you need." She said it like I was fatal ill. My mom has even begun to freak out. I got a bit of sun yesterday and she was sure I was hot, over heating, getting sun poisoning, something. At the reunion this past weekend I was stepping down from a wall (you just have to know the yard) and someone yelled at me for doing it.

Seriously people, I'm not dying, I'm not fragile, I'm pregnant. Millions of people have gone down this path before me. Thousands of women work in rice patties right up until the head pops out. People work in harsher conditions and do more on a daily basis than I do. I am be cautious, it's not like I'm out sky diving or anything. So please, while some women may want that babying, I don't . I'm not dying and I'm not handicapped. I can still (this could change) do things for myself.

I felt it, I think....I hope...

Sunday Ayron and I drug a bunch of clothes to the laundry mat. I am in the process of packing away summer clothes and unpacking fall/winter clothes. Everything needed to be washed. Why not wash at home you ask? Well, our washer has decided to become bulimic every time you try ot use her (if you have an eating disorder, that was not intended to hurt you). Ayron is supposed to pull it away from the wall and check some things, but that hasn't happened yet. So, we took everything to the laundry mat. Let me tell you, the laundry mat is an interesting place. If I had a creative writing assignment I was stuck on, I'd go there and sit. You could come up with a ton of story plots based on the people in there. Anyways, I'm getting off track.

After we loaded the washers, Ayron left to grab us some lunch. It was horribly hot in the building, so I took my book outside and sat down. As I was reading At First Sight I felt the oddest sensation. It was not a gas pain or a stomach growl. It was lower. I rubbed my flub and thought, "huh, odd." I kept reading for another couple of pages when it hit me. Taylor was kicking and I felt it! I had read in books that the first time you feel a kick it kind of feels like an odd gas pain. I think I felt Taylor kick. It is very odd, yet exciting all at the same time.

We are hoping when we go to the OBGYN next week they will be able to tell us the sex of the child. I will only be 15 weeks and 5 days (usually around week 16 they start checking). We are really hoping Taylor will be cooperative and allow us to know. I really hope we can know. I don't know if I can wait till around Halloween to find out. I think once I know the sex it will seem that much more real.

Approval

Why do we (ok, well, I) seek approval from those around me? I like to think that other's opinions of me does not matter, but that is not the case. I'm good at acting like I don't care, but deep down I do. I realized that this weekend.

I have been seeking a certain persons approval for 6 1/2 years now. Every time I think I've made progress, BAM, I'm slapped in the face with yet another comment/action from the person. I often ask myself, "why even bother?" I don't know why, but I do.

I have a fear that I will never live up to this persons standards and that I will always be left out. This was made apparent this weekend. Everyone else was introduced by this person, when it got to me, it was like I didn't exist. Then that person wonders why I was mad and decided to be anti-social for a time. I get it, I'm not perfect, I never will be. I'm fine with that, being perfect would be horrible. I just want to be accepted.

What really bugs me is that if there isn't a crowd around, this person is so nice and acknowledges me and all if fine. Then, in public or a crowd, suddenly, I'm invisible. This makes me think that the niceness this person gives in private is fake. It's just really frustrating and can take a toll on a persons emotions.

I have confronted this person three times over the years about their comments, actions, etc. Things are hunkie dorie for about a week, then the old person emerges. I am constantly amazed at how loving this persons spouse is, so I just don't get how this person can be such a cold hearted ......errr, ok, I know that's not fair. It's getting old and I don't know how much more of this persons junk I can take. I will never meet their standards, so why do I try?

Oh Happy Day...

Once again, work is slow. The schools haven't sent me any kids for the day program, and with ISTEP being next week, I'm pretty sure I won't get any then either.

When I got back from lunch with K, I had a message from my office secretary saying UPS had delievered a package for me. "Yeah rah," I thought. "My urine sample cups are in." Needless to say, I didn't rush right over to get the package. After discovering I had nothing to do, I made myself make the trek across the street to get the package.

I had forgotten that I ordered a lot of free things from www.teachingtolerance.org If anyone out there is a teacher and is looking for free resources, this site is amazing. I have fallen in love with the "One World" poster set. I can't wait to watch the three movies I ordered as well. They all focus around tolerance (hence the site name) and they all came with state standard lesson plans. The best part (well, besides being free) is that the lesson plans are cross curriculum. They have Language Arts lessons, Science lessons, Math, etc. I am so excited. I don't know if I'll be able to adapt any of them for activities with my after school program, but I can defiantly use them when I return to a public school.

If anyone who works with youth is looking for free tolerance materials, I highly recommend that site. It's great.

Two Weeks and Counting (Up)

Due to the fact that I work for the government (in a round about way) I do not have a paid maternity leave. I have been trying to stock up on extra comp time as well as not using vacation time or sick time. I checked my database today and so far, if you add my comp time as well as sick and vacation days I have a total of two weeks. Yeah! They have found work that I can do while I'm home with the baby, but I'd rather earn at least another 2-3 weeks of comp time in the next several months.

Radio Debate

I was listening to a local radio station this morning while I was getting ready for work. The DJ's were debating a recent news event. About a week ago a principal at a Cincinnati school mistakenly left her infant child in the car for 8 hours while she was at work. The police say the child's death was an accident. The mom says that she forgot the child because she changed her morning routine to stop for doughnuts and the child was sleeping and never made a sound.

The DJ's wanted to know the public's opinion on the following: Should she be able to keep her job? The callers had valid points on both sides of the issue. If she can't watch her own child, why should the school district put her in charge of a whole middle school? Everyone makes mistakes. Have you done nothing that would put your child in danger? Etc. It was interesting to hear the debate.

I haven't made up my mind about the whole thing. It seems that this is happening a lot lately. Mom thought dad had the child, mean while dad loaded the child in mom's car, mom leaves baby in car while at work, etc. I guess I just wonder how you could forget your child is in the car? Do you not use your rear view mirror? The child doesn't make any noise? You don't look in the backseat before you go into the building? I don't know, I've never been in that situation, and I pray that I never am. It is just sickening to know that this children were helpless.

What is your opinion on the principal? The school board met last night to decide her fate, but I haven't found their decision yet.

We Still Stand!

Spend today remember those who died. Those who willingly and unwillingly lost their lives 6 years ago today. Remember them and their families. Be grateful for your family and the freedom you have. Pray for those who selfishly rushed to "the Pile" to help those in need, and who are now suffering horrible health problems. Remember.

**I do not care what your views on the war are. I do not care what you think of Bush. I do not care about your political views. I do not push mine on you, so I am asking you to keep them to yourselves. Thank you.

For Real??

You have got to be kidding me? Check this out.

This bugs me for a couple of reasons.

1.) Is is that slow of a news day that most of the news stations were reporting on this?!

2.) They sent the burger to the state testing lab? Shouldn't those scientist be oh, well I don't know, trying to solve a murder or something?

3.) They actually put her in jail? Come on? Sure, let those rapists, murders, speeders, etc go, but nope, nope, that McDonalds employee who made a mistake must pay!

4.) Is McDonalds going bankrupt? Are they so stretched for money that they couldn't throw away the salted meat and start fresh?

How Can That Be?

I am confused. I lost 10 pounds last month (I know, I know, don't bother lecturing me, I get enough from Ayron and my OBGYN). So if I lost weight, why don't my pants fit? Here is what makes it really odd. They fit Friday night, and Saturday morning. Sunday afternoon, nope! I'm down to two pairs of jeans (the one is really pushing the tight factor) and one pair of khakis (which I currently cannot find). Blech. Time to admit defeat and start shopping for maternity pants.

I guess I shouldn't complain. I was talking with a friend yesterday (her due date is 10 days after mine) and she has already gained 10 pounds. She told me that with her previous two children she gained at least 60 pounds. YIKES! Granted she is a little lady, but I don't want to gain that much! It was comforting to talk to her husband though about fears. He admitted that he was so paranoid about something being wrong with their youngest (his first) that he nearly drove himself crazy. So at least I'm not alone there.

Prayer

Dear Lord,

Please bless the racing pigeon that just flew into my office window. Grant him/her eternal life up with all the other pigeons. It was not his fault he flew at the perfect angle to be caught in a wind current that slammed his/her little grey and white body into my perfectly clean window.

I also pray for his family. May they be able to support themselves without his love. Bless his former owner (his house is across the street from my office). May he be able to pick another pigeon out of his flock of several to fulfill George's (let's assume it was a boy) duty of pooping on my co-workers cars, attacking innocent people on the sidewalk, and just plain being a nuisance.

I also pray that the nice people doing community service at my office this weekend find George's body and provide him with the proper burial (just a hint, but there are two large dumpsters across the street). May they also clean the window that George greeted violently.

I am grateful Lord that George did not break my window, so thank you for that!

Amen.

I Miss High School

Ok, I know what you are thinking, "WHAT?!" Hear me out. I DO NOT MISS BEING A HIGH SCHOOLER, I miss teaching in a high school.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I had a terrible high school experience. 9th and 10th grade were rough, but that's to be expected. I had a ball my junior and senior year. I wish I had been more active in high school, but at that time, my priorities were elsewhere.

I realized that I missed working in a high school this morning. I have been forced to change my mindless drive to work due to construction. Leaving earlier than normal found me caught in high school traffic. As I sat in a long line on 427, I began remembering my student teaching experience. I loved those kids. Don't start thinking I'm like one of those sex crazed teachers that has/wants to seduce a student, that's that yuckie and gross. I saw them as mini adults that were trying to find their way. I helped them find their way. In return they didn't see me as the enemy teacher, they saw me as a person who is willing to help them succeed at anything. I will admit that I am jealous of two of my friends. They have jobs working at the high school we attended. I would love to! I hope to.

I want to be able to teach, create lesson plans, inspire and help. I spend my time now cautiously stepping over government red tape and filing reports. I want to rediscover my passion for Beowulf and Canterbury Tales. Oh, and redo my lesson plans for The Crucible. I miss those kids. I was surfing through friends "friends list" on facebook the other day and I saw DW. I had him as a junior and now he is a freshman in college. I see his parents at church, but I'm sure they really don't know who I am.

I just really want a public school job.........

I Don't Want To (Part II)

Here is an interesting update on a previous post. I did a little more digging on the whole situation. I don't want to believe that this person is lying to me, but in this business, it does happen.

As I was reviewing drug screens today, I noticed that my students mother had recently been screened. To my "shock," mom tested positive for THE SAME THING! Hmmmm. That's a head scratcher.

Unconditional Love

It seems the theme of unconditional love has been popping up a lot in my life lately. I have been talking to my friend (post from yesterday) about love and relationships. When I finally allowed myself to be quiet (yeah, yeah, make your jokes here) this song kept ringing in my ears. Maybe it's because I just got the cd and it was in the cd player, but I choose to believe HE had a hand in it.

Simply Nothing - Shawn McDonald

So hard to fathom the pain in Your eyes

As You're watching Your children, doing what You despise

In pursuit of our own

We just go round and round

Another nail to our cause

We continue to pound

What are you, man, if you do not learn love

What are you, man, if you do not learn love

So hard to fathom, oh, the feelings inside

As You're watching Your people choosing to die

You called out a warning

To all that would hear

Saying come to Me, come to Me

And I will draw near

Learn love

I must

Learn love

Learn love

Learn love

Learn love

Learn love

Only My Husband...

If you know my husband and myself at all, you know we are constantly blaming each other's faults on our high school experience. We attended rival high schools, and ironically enough, is was that rivalry that brought us together.

As we were driving home from his brother's the other night I asked what he wanted to do with the evening. I secretly he would say, "Well, I thought I'd start by helping you clean the "nursery," and then I'll attempt to fix the washer, then end the evening by taking Scooter for a walk." (Hey, I can dream can't I?) His real response was, "I think I want to play some playstation." When he asked me, I replied, "I could go for nine rounds of Hot Shot's golf." He looked disappointed. He loves when I willingly play playstation with him. I asked him why he looked disappointed. This is the conversation that followed.

Ayron: Well, I, uh, just noticed that you haven't been reading a lot lately.

Me: Yeah, I kind of burnt myself out this summer reading one a day.

Ayron: Well, its just that, Taylor is going to get his/her dashing looks and charm from me, and you're the only shot Taylor has at brains, so don't let your brains go by playing playstation.

I laughed so hard. He was serious. I wish I could have captured his face.

Me: Well, you're right, after all, I'm the one who graduated from DeKalb.

Ayron: I won't hold it against you. You got your brains in college, after all you graduated with an IU degree.

So, like a nerd I dove back into my summer reading list. While I read a lot of books this summer, none of them were on my list of books I planned on reading. I am currently reading my way through the Eliot Rosewater collection for young adults. I want to have a broad knowledge of several books when a student asks me for a recommendation. In the past two days, I have read two books. I read The Nanny Diaries for laughs. After finishing that I concluded there is no way I could ever be a nanny, not that I ever wanted to be. Yesterday I read That Crazy Little Thing Called Love. This book is truly insightful. It is a Christian book based around principals of marriage, but each chapter is a song title. It is a very good book. I recommend it to anyone who is married or thinking about getting married.

Today I will start Free Inside and Out. I don't think I'll be able to get through it all today since I have a two hour meeting this morning and some reports to write this afternoon, but who knows.

So hopefully Taylor benefits from all of this reading, Lord knows I don't want him/her to have an Eastside education. I am joking. I have several friends who graduated from Eastside, I do not mean it literally, so don't get all huffy and defensive.

I don't want to

I don't want to believe it. I just don't. I like to think that people are generally good and that the kids I work with are the way they are due to environment. I think our environment does shape who we are and how we act. Most of my "kids" come from dysfunctional families, so no surprise they have similar issues to their parents. I do believe that they can choose to overcome their situation and create a better life for themselves.

I have one kid in particular who is a doll. I haven't had any problems from her. She is always on time, polite, interactive, etc. She is 9 day from being done with my program. I just got her drug screen results back. She tested positive. I didn't believe it. I searched the drug on line. It's an anti-anxiety drug. Ok, so I called mom. "Is ______ on any prescription medicine?" "No, she takes allergy stuff and some herbal vitamins, but all of that is over the counter." I thought, ahh, it's the herbals, they are causing her to throw a false positive. I called our drug screen expert, nope, it's not the herbals.

As I was talking to the drug screen expert they said, "You'll have those people that will shock you. Get used to it." I don't want to get used to it. I don't want to expect the kids to fail. What kind of example is that? If they know I am expecting them to fail, then they will do something to cause them to fail. As much as I don't like having my hope in someone dashed, I don't want to become numb to it. I firmly believe in this kid. She is in counseling, 2 different drug education classes, family counseling, etc. It's just disheartening.

Emotions Part II

I have discovered that I have gotten extremely well at hiding emotions from people, even my husband. I know this is not good. It seems that I can't have a normal calm life for more than a week at a time. While it does keep me on my toes, it also can wear me down. I don't know why, but all of these emotions came to a head this morning while I was checking my email and I'm sure I look like a mess right now, so I am grateful to be at work alone.

About a month ago, I found out that someone I thought I was close to, was keeping a very large secret from me. Someone else let it slip. When they let it slip, they blew it off like it was no big deal. The secret is life changing for not only the person that was keeping it from me, but for me as well as others in my life. Here is the part that got me. When the person found out that I knew, they asked me to keep it a secret from someone. How can they do that? Don't they understand how it affected me? That person doesn't deserve to be blindsided with such a change like I was. If I tell you the life changing "secret" it will be very easy for the person who isn't suppose to know to figure it out. It's great that these people trust me so well, but don't they see the situation that put me in? I just want to call this person and scream "TELL THEM! OR I WILL!" I know that isn't appropriate, but at least I wouldn't be the only one who knew.

Ayron keeps asking me how I feel about the whole thing and I keep saying, "Fine. It's that persons decision, not mine, so I'm going to have to live with it." I try to brush it off like it's no big deal, but on the inside I'm screaming "It's not fair!" I'm half tempted to tell the person out of spite, but I know that isn't right. If people keep choosing me to tell their secrets too, why can't they at least be happy secrets?

Emotions....Arg.

It seems that my emotions are in full gear. I was thinking about a past situation during my car ride to work and decided to blog about it. When I got to work, I read a disturbing email and my previous idea will wait.

I grew up with someone and while we were close in elementary school, we went our ways in middle and high school. We went to the same college (before I moved home) but never really crossed paths. I think we may have emailed a couple of times, but that was about it.

Recently we have gotten back into each other's lives. I love it. It's someone to "remember when" with. We are constantly asking each other questions because our upbringing and personalities are very similar.

Without going into details, he is going through a rough time with the love of his life. She is here in Indiana finishing up college while he is establishing himself in Everett Washington. I know that is must be hard, heck it's hard fo rme and we aren't together! They have hit a rough spot. As I was reading his email I began to bawl. I couldn't help it. I had to make myself stop typing and make copies so I could allow my eyes some time to clear.

I guess my question is how do I comfort him from so far away? I can't go over and say "hi." I can't drop a misery loves company candy basket by his apartment. I don't even know if the words I wrote will be of any comfort. I have not been in a situation like the one he is in. Well, sort of, but that was a dumb high school situation, not a real life one. He is a very devout Chrisitian and I am thinking of spending the day looking up verses in hopes they inspire hope and provide comfort. I have sat here and cried and prayed for him for the past ten minutes, but I would like to think that I can do more. I just wish I knew what to do to help him.

Am I Flexible?

I like to think that I am a pretty mellow person. I try to stay calm, but at times I lose it. This weekend I discovered that I have become very good at hiding my panic.

Friday afternoon turned into a testing situation for me. I knew that I had people coming to the house to cook hot dogs. I spent Thursday evening and Friday morning making sure the house looked somewhat presentable. Well, to make a long story short, the grill wouldn't work and I ended up boiling about 700 hot dogs. I was getting very frustrated. Not at the people, at the whole situation. I wasn't feeling well, and I know that is not an excuse, but it did not help the situation. It just seemed like chaos. Everything did come together, but I still just felt panicked all evening. I couldn't really relax and enjoy the company of the people I was with.

What has happened to cause me to lose my patience? Did I ever have any to begin with? Will it come back? I sure hope it does.

Friday

If you are in Auburn this weekend and have nothing to do on Friday night, head up town. There will be a ton of activities going on. There is a cruise in, art show, kids art tent, the radio station, and ME!

Friday evening I will be hanging out in front of Indiana Real Estate (Thank's Dave). A group of friends will be doing something fun. I'm not going to tell you what, you'll have to come and see!!!

Another Sleepless Night

Ayron and I have been having trouble sleeping through the night lately. For no reason we just wake up every hour and a half. We had a lovely conversation at 2:42am this morning. I used to be able to sleep for 10 hours without so much as even rolling over.

The lack of sleep makes getting up in the morning harder too. I used to be a morning person. I could get a whole day's worth of work done before noon. Not now. I'm lucky if I get a whole day's worth of work done before I go to bed.

Any suggestions?

Bring on the Crazies!!

Well, as anyone who has ever lived in DeKalb county knows, the crazies are on their way. If you are not familiar with out little town of Auburn, allow me to give you a brief history lesson.

One day a long long time ago, E.L. Cord created a car factory in our town. They created several types of cars. Now, fast forward a little bit. Someone in the Kruse family decided to turn Labor Day into Crazy Fest. Every Labor Day weekend, Auburn is home to the largest car auction in the world. We have had such cars as the Popemobile, Batmobile, and the car from Back to the Future (the Darian? Who knows, I'm not into cars). With the famous and expensive cars comes their rich and usually odd owners.

To prove my "they have way too much money point" here is a story. I worked at Scott's while I was in high school. During ACD weekend I once had a guy come into the store, purchase a pack of Big Red chewing gum, not even a big pack mind you, the 5-piece kind. He proceeded to pay for his gum with a $500. Seriously. It was freaking 6:30 in the morning. I had just gotten my drawer, like I had $499.74 in change to give him.

These odd people come from all over the world. I am not kidding. But, along with the crazies, you get the occasional celebrity (who's to say they aren't crazy too?) The owner of Chick-Fil-A is always here, and very nice. Jay Leno is known to show up. David Letterman makes an appearance every couple of years. Our little town is transformed, our roads blocked, restaurants crammed, gas stations full, and some citizens are smart enough to leave. Our little town easily reaches at least 1/2 a million for the week. The auction starts on Thursday and goes until Tuesday. I am sure that the many RV's, station wagons, trailers, and other methods of transportation are already filling up the empty parking spots around town.

If you are willing to brave the elements and the crazies, then by all means, come to town. If you can help it, avoid the interstate. If you live in Auburn and can get out, GET OUT NOW!!

Interesting

I found this article on Yahoo this morning. It struck me as funny at first, but I did read it. I don't know if I agree, but I guess to each his/her own. Like usual, my comments are in red.

Parents begin potty training at birth

By RODRIQUE NGOWI, Associated Press Writer Mon Aug 27, 2:05 PM ET

SUTTON, Mass. - Thirteen-month-old Dominic Klatt stopped banging the furniture in the verandah, looked at his mother and clasped his right hand around his left wrist to signal that he needed to go to the bathroom.

His mother took the diaper-less tot to a tree in the yard, held him in a squatting position and made a gentle hissing sound — prompting the infant to relieve himself on cue before he rushed back to play. Why not take him inside so that he learns to go "pee pee in the potty?"

Dominic is a product of a growing "diaper-free" movement founded on the belief that babies are born with an instinctive ability to signal when they have to answer nature's call. Parents who practice the so-called "elimination communication" learn to read their children's body language to help them recognize the need, and they mimic the sounds that a child associates with the bathroom. Ah, um, I don't know what to think. An "instinctive ability"? I guess you could say that, my niece used to cry when she pottied, but that was because she had bowel issues and it hurt.

Erinn Klatt began toilet training her son at birth and said he has not wet his bed at night since he was six months old.

"The nice part is ... really getting the majority of poops in the toilet versus having to clean that," Klatt said. "I don't have to wake up at night and change diapers or have wet sheets anywhere. That's really nice. I can see that being a good thing.

"And being able to travel without a big, bloated diaper bag is terrific," she said. Probably lessens her chiropractic bills too.

Some parents and toilet training experts are skeptical.

"They teach them from birth? Oh, my God!" said 40-year-old Lisa Bolcato, as she held her 5-month-old daughter, Rose, at a park on Boston Common. "When you're getting two hours of sleeps between feedings, I don't think that you have the time to do it. You just make sure that your child's healthy and happy and well-fed."

Still, the practice is common in many parts of rural Africa and Asia where parents cannot afford diapers.

In the United States, many of the parents are stay-at-home-moms, but there are also working mothers. Some meet in online groups, at homes and in public parks to share experiences and cheer each others' efforts. If I am a stay at home mom, I have laundry, dishes, meals, etc to do. I don't have time to sit and watch my child for the slightest sign they need to potty. Ok, sure I'd watch them, but play pens are our friend. I'm not going to sit right by the pack and play all day and stare at my child and wait for a signal.

Experts at the Child Study Center at the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center say children younger than 12 months have no control over bladder or bowel movements and little control for 6 months after that.

But some parents begin going diaper-free at birth, and the infants can initiate bowel movements on cue as young as 3 to 4 months, said Elizabeth Parise, spokeswoman of DiaperFreeBaby.org, a network of free support groups promoting the practice. So it's kind of like training your dog to go on command. Fido, do your business.

And unlike some methods of toilet training, there are no rewards or punishment associated with it.

Dr. Mark Wolraich, professor of pediatrics and director of the Child Study Center, said the practice essentially conditions young children to go to the bathroom at predictable times or show clear signs when they must go.

"To be truly toilet-trained, the child has to be able to have the sensation that they need to go, be able to interpret that sensation and be able to then tell the parent and take some action," said Wolraich, who is also editor of the American Academy of Pediatrics' book on toilet training.

"And that's different from reading the subtle signs that the child is making when they have to go to the bathroom."

Parents attempt the early training to forge closer ties with their infants, to reduce the environmental impact associated with diapers and to avoid skin irritation caused by a wet diaper, Parise said.

Others were inspired by observing the practice while traveling abroad.

The practice also enables parents to get insight into an infant's development since more accidents occur if a child falls sick or enters a new phase such as learning to crawl, walk or talk.
This is because an infant may be too distracted by illness or efforts to master a new skill to communicate the need to go to the bathroom, said Melinda Rothstein, an MIT business school graduate who co-founded DiaperFreeBaby.org.

She says finding a supportive daycare center is the biggest challenge for parents who choose not to use diapers. Other problems include finding tiny underwear for diaper-free infants. No crap! I worked in a day care. I can't imagine working in the 1 year old room with all 10 kids and trying to watch every single one for what could be a secret signal they are about to go in the ball tub!

Isis Arnesen, 33, of Boston, has a 14-week-old daughter, Lucia, who is diaper-free. She said it can be awkward to explain the process to people, such as when she helped Lucia relieve herself in a sink at a public restroom. Once again, why not hold her over a toilet. If you are going to teach your child at a young age, why not teach them the appropriate places to go?

"Sometimes I don't know what's gonna happen and it doesn't work, and sometimes I feel a little embarrassed," Arnesen said. "It makes her happy though, right? She smiles, she's happy."

Another Saturday Came and Went

We have been unable to make church for three weeks now. It's really getting to me. I am making sure I spend more time in prayer, reflection, and devotion, but it's not the same, and I don't think it should be. Three weeks ago I was horribly sick. Two weeks ago, we had a family "reunion." This past Saturday, we decided to get to the Spencerville Hog Roast early so we could make it back to Waterloo in time for church. Apparently Taylor doesn't like BBQ pork, and boy (no, that is no indication of Taylor's gender, it's too early to tell), did Taylor let me know.

We spent Saturday evening on the couch. We did watch "Facing the Giants." I would highly recommend this movie. If you don't know anything about the movie, check their site out. It's cool to see what a church can do when their faith is in the right place. There are tear filled moments, but maybe that's just because I've been where the coach's wife is, although not for the same amount of time. It is a good movie, and I highly recommend it.

Well, it's back to a regular work week and I'm trying my hardest to stay on task and get the whole month of September planned out ahead of time. So far I have half of it done. Back to work I go so that I can accomplish my goal for the day.

Music for your Monday Morning

This is hysterical. You have to check it out.

I've always wanted to ride on the back of a mower when Ayron tows it from work, but he never lets me. My latest idea? Saturday we had to tow a hog roaster back from Spencerville (I know, you're thinking, "where?"). I thought it would be funny to strap a saddle on it and ride it home that way. Once again, Ayron was a joy kill.

I feel the same way!

Banking

I am thinking about changing banks. I like the bank we use now, but last month our checking account became severely messed up and no one was willing to help us detangle it. I would also like to be able to check my balances and stuff on line. Does anyone have any suggestions? Are there any banks in Auburn that offer a free checking account and on line banking for free as well?

You Grew Up In the 90's

I found this on facebook. It cracked me up. It was just what I needed after coming into work to be hit with a ton of crap. My comments are in red!


Just wanted to remind people of the good ole days.You're a 90's kid if:

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air" In west Philedelphia born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days. Chilling out, maxing out, realxing......

You remember when Kurt Cobain, Tu Pac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.

You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school. Believe it or not, I never played Oregon Trail.

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"

You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school. You actually think my dad would let me pack? Ha!

You danced to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls.

You remember the craze, then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books. My nieces now have a couple of the braclets!

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.

Captain Planet.

You remember when super nintendo's became popular.

You remember watching home alone 1, 2 , and 3........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

"I've fallen and I can't get up"

You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates

Two words... Trapper Keeper. I had the coolest on my 6gh grade year. Oh man I miss that!

You never got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide

You wore socks over leggings scrunched down No, No, No! It was three pairs of different colored scrunch socks over your sturup pants, with clashing kangaroo shoes while sporting a cool crimped hair do.

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players

You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

You played and/or collected "Pogs" I totally forgot about those. Man, I'm getting old!

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere

You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

NANCY DREW AND THE HARDY BOYS WERE THE BEST MYSTERY BOOKS

Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff!

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)

You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.

You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes. I had a friend that did that all through high school and her freshman year in college.

You remember a time before the WB.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" ... enough said

You thought Brain woud finally take over the world Huh? Don't get it.

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.

You remember when razor scooters were cool.

When we were younger:

Before the MySpace frenzy...

Before the Internet & text messaging...

Before Sidekicks & iPods...

Before MIKE JONES...

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX......

Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

When light up sneakers were cool.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.

When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.

Way back.

Tag.

Get Over Here!!!! means something to you.

Hide-n-Go Seek at dusk.

Red Light, Green Light.

Heads Up 7 Up. We got to play it every Friday during library time with Mrs. Souder. Now I live up the street from her.

Playing Kickball & Dodgeball until your porch light came on.

Hopskotch.

Slip-n-Slides.

Tree Houses.

Hula Hoops.

HELLO....HOT WHEELS!!!!!

"POWER OF LOVE" BY CELINE DION..ONLY COUPLES COULD SKATE TO THIS.

The annoying Giga Pets & Furbies.

Running through the sprinklers.

That "Little Mermaid"Crying when Mufasa died in the Lion King.

Happy Meals where you chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car.

Getting the privelage to sit in the front seat of the car.

Drinking Sqeeze It "Squeeze The Fun Out Of It"

CAPRI SUN

Watching Saturday Morning Cartoons in your PJ's still wrapped up in your TMNT, Power Rangers, Barbie, Fairy Princess comforter.

Or what about:

Hey Arnold.

Rugrats.

The Secret World of Alex Mac.

Ren & Stimpy.

Double Dare.

Rocco's Modern Life.

AAAHH!! REAL MONSTERS.

Wild & Crazy Kids.

Clarissa Explains it All.

CAMP NOWHERE I was trying to get Ayron to remember this show the other day and I couldn't think of the name. Remember the creepy older male counselor. Yikes.

The original cast members of All That.

Kenan & Kel. Kenan is now on Saturday Night Live

"CITY GUYS"...ROLLW/ THE CITY GUYS The one guy is now on a WB show.

Doug.

Magic School Bus.

Adventures of Pete and Pete.

Dinosaurs. "Not the mama, Not the mama!"

Blossom.

Hangin with Mr. Cooper.

Bill Nye the Science Guy

MR RODGERS!!!!

Who could forget Snick? & Nick @ Nite with Bewitched, I Dream of Jenie, The Facts of Life, I Love Lucy and TGIF.

Go back to the time when:

Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'.

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming 'do over!''

Race issue' ment arguing about who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by whoever was banker in 'Monopoly.'

It wasn't odd to have two or three 'best' friends.

Being old referred to anyone over 20.

A chance to skate as a couple at the local roller rink was like winning the lottery.

Scrapes & bruises were kissed & made better.

It was a big deal to finally be tall enought to ride the 'big people' rides at the fair. Until I realized how messed up the tilt-a-whurl can be when you ride with Dad and Natalee. I thought that pod was gonna spin right off the ride and slam into Blackwell's front window!

When playing Nintendo was the hardest thing ever.

When Ninja Turtles ruled the world.

Another Baby Sitter Club and Little Sister (Karen) book came out and you put your name on hold for it at the library. Totally! And then how excited you where when they started to make them into movies.

When Aladdin was new, before the trilogy was complete.

Sockem Boppers

Feeling Crumby

The past couple of weeks I have been feeling crumby. It is probably due to the fact that I am supporting another life, but it has been rough for me, and for Ayron. I have been extra whinny (shut up Natalee) and half the time I don't know what I need or want to make me feel better.

Ayron, sensing my rough time (how could be not) brought me home a present last night. He gave me a gorgeous diamond cross necklace. It is beautiful. I was truly happy. I'll admit that at first I was upset that he spent that kind of money, but he quickly shut me up. It is nice to have surprise presents, I'll give you that.

I began feeling guilty about it as the night wore on. Did he think that he had to buy me something to make me feel better? Questions flooded my mind. I realized that while I truly love the necklace (don't get me wrong, I don't want to sound ungrateful) he could have made me just as happy by doing some little things around the house.

My friend and I have been unloading to each other about our daily responsibilities and how we get our significant others to help out. She leaves lists. I'm more subtle. Ayron's style and my own are drastically different as well.

I would rather do a little bit each morning so that when I get home from work (or on my day off) I don't have a ton to do. The house will always look decent (except for the mud pit in our front yard) in case someone stops by. Ayron would rather put everything off until his day off. He spends his day off lounging around until right before I get home, then he frantically tries to throw a load of clothes in the washer, a load of dishes in the dishwasher, clean the bunny cage, and vacuum.

I shouldn't complain. He helps more than some people do. I just don't like watching the chores pile up till the last possible moment. I like to stay ahead of the storm. Is that wrong of me? I've even thought about creating a weekly chore chart. For myself, not for Ayron. I don't want you thinking that I treat him like a kid, he is an adult. But just to better organize myself.

For Example:
Monday: Rabbit Cage, vacuum, dishes
Tuesday: Dishes, laundry, kitchen
Wednesday: Dishes, bathroom
Thursday: Dishes, Rabbit cage, laundry (if needed)

You get the idea. I'm afraid Ayron will think that I am pushing him to help out. I just wish he'd help me during the week so that on Sunday we aren't frantically trying to get a bunch of stuff done before the upcoming week. Maybe my nesting stage has kicked in several months early, who knows. Maybe I'm just odd. Any suggestions?

*** In response to a comment that was left. I do not think the number of hours one works is relevant. I work outside of the house and while my hours were flexiable this summer, I still managed to work a ton. I know he works a lot too, I get that, and I'm grateful. I also know there are certain things I cannot do on my own either do to lack of knowledge or physical reasons. I do not think that it is wrong for me to ask him to do them. We do talk, and things still don't get done. I work on things around the house everyday, before and afterwork, and on my days off. I don't think it's too much to ask for him to load the dishwasher after dinner or throw a load of laundry in before he leaves in the morning. Long rant short, I don't think the number of hours matter. We bought the house and we need to help each other maintain it.

Nuthing Nue

I really don't have anything interesting to say. Then again, do I ever?

I am at work. Blech. I was in a good mood, until I fell on the ramp that leads up to my office. I managed to remove all of the skin on my left leg from my knee down to my ankle. It is a lovely shade of purple and dried blood. I am glad I didn't rip my jeans. They are my favorite jeans and they room for me to "grow into."

School starts again on Thursday. I am pretty sure I won't have any kids until the second or third week into September, which is good, but if I had students, I wouldn't be as bored. I am graduating two kids from the after school program this week, so that is exciting. It will only leave me with two, but that's ok.

Wow, this post is horribly boring. I'm gonna stop now.

Amazing

Ok, this post needs a preface, so here it goes. I never wanted to be one of those annoying pregnant ladies who thought they were the only one who has ever been pregnant and that the world should revolve around them. While I have several friends that are pregnant, I also have several that are trying without much success. I have not forgotten you and I continue to pray for your success (that just sounds silly, but it's true). I also understand that this is something women have done since the beginning of time. I have it easy compared to 100 or even 30 years ago. I am still capable of doing things, heck in the "good ole days" pregnant wives still tended to the fields, took care of the animals, etc. Ok, rant over, on to my thought for the morning.

I get emails every week from a baby website that just lets me know what is happening in my body, news on baby stuff, etc. I was reading the 9 week one today and it hit me. There is a human in me, growing. I knew from the beginning there was a human in me, but it really hit me. Here is what I wrote to my friend during our daily work day chat: "I am truly amazed by what is going on in my body right now. It is amazing to think that God designed us to be able to do this and without much thought on our part. I don't understand how people can go through this process and not believe in God."

Taylor is growing and changing right now and I'm not even "telling" him/her to do it. It happens on its own. That is astounding. Right now he/she is working on eyelids, arms, legs, toes, and the first nerves to what will be his/her brain. And Taylor is only the size of a pea pod. I am truly amazed and this whole process has humbled me greatly. It's also made me sick to my stomach, but more so humble.

Extremly Frustrated

I am getting really frustrated about work. I have been working with several other people/offices to help a certain participant in my program. I was told that if I did steps A-Z they would help me and we could get this person the help they needed. All I needed to do was A-Z and they would take care of the rest. THEY LIED! I just got off the phone to find out they did nothing and played me up to the family like the bad person. I wasn't even there to defend myself. It seems like they don't want to do their part. So I spent a whole day doing A-Z only to have it back fire on me and cause me to have more work. They didn't even check with me to see if it was feasible, they just did it. It throws a huge wrench in my schedule. I'm so upset.

I took this job so that I could teach. I took the "coordinator" position because I felt bad. There, I admit it. I took it because they couldn't find anyone else to take it. I didn't realize how much time it took to do a bunch of dumb paperwork that never gets looked at but we have to have "just in case." I feel like I don't get the respect or help that I need. They literally just handed me the whole program and went "Here, you figure it out because we don't want to." So when I do make a decision on something, they start screaming and blowing whistles. Well, help me, don't criticize me after I've done something.

I miss teaching. Even during the school year, I don't get to do a whole lot of teaching. Many of the kids do the "independent study" program the alternative school offers, so I basically just sit there until they have a question or need a test graded. I want to teach. I want to have students who are willing to learn and who do not have so many problems. I don't want to be on so many committees just because of the title I accepted. I'm hardly even at the house (My program is run out of a house) the first week of every month because I've been put on so many freaking committees and been giving so many dumb duties that have nothing to do with my program. It is getting really frustrated. When I do ask for help, I either get ignored or looked at like "Well, I don't know what you want me to do!"

I brought all of this up to my boss this past spring but he doesn't know how to help. He is a passive person. He'll try to not deal with it in hopes it goes away. I can't work like that. I need help, guidance, leadership, someone to stand up for me, and I'm not getting that here.

Maybe I'm so worked up due to the hormones, who knows.

Thanks JO

I posted a picture on my Flickr site a while back with a comment that I wanted to change it. See if you can spot what JO did for me? Thanks Jo!!

Before

After

Scooter

When I took Scooter into the groomers a week ago, I was asked to sign a wavier. Turns out that posted his picture on the website. Take a look.

Granted, it's not his best shot, but it does show his slobbery tongue. I'm thinking of sending them another one, but for now, it works.

Facebook

About two weeks ago I decided to cave and join the facebook nation. I love it. I have reconnected with a ton of people from high school. It's fun to see how some of they have changed and how some haven't. Someone I grew up with and had several crushes on over the years is now joining the priesthood in a couple of days. It's interesting to see who has ended up where and what they are doing. I found an old friend that moved away our 7th grade year and discovered that he is in Iraq. Some of us stayed here, some of us moved. I wonder what they think of me when they see my page? If you've got a facebook page, I'd love to be a friend.

I Miss The Excitement!!

I miss the excitement of getting ready to go back to school. I miss the smell of a new package of mechanical pencils. The way a new 5 Star 5-Subject notebook feels in a backpack. The motivation everyone has to make this "their year." Everyone is organized and ready to go. I miss that. I really wish I could go back to school again. I even looked into taking a Continuing Ed. course through IPFW, but I talked myself out of it. When I do go back to school, I want the classes to counts towards my Master's degree. Some how I don't think that Yoga 101 will.

God's Humor

I firmly believe that God has a sense of humor. I believe that at times, He's just sitting up there laughing uncontrollably. Here is more proof to back up my claim.

This morning, I got up when Ayron did, as usual. While Ayron was in the shower I sat on the couch and at a cup of pudding (yeah yeah, breakfast of champions). I decided to release some of the pressure that was building up in my tummy. You have a lot of extra tummy pressure when you are pregnant, and at times, you have to let it go. So I delicately, very lady like, lowered my stomach pressure. As soon as I did that, BAM the carbon monoxide/gas leak detector started going off. I knew I had tummy pressure, but I didn't think I had enough to set off an alarm! I quickly gathered the dog, Ayron, and cell phones and went outside.

We called Phil, Ayron's brother, who is the assistant chief of a fire department. He told us to quickly open up all the windows and call the gas company. So we did that. After about ten minutes of waiting and wondering, the helpful guy from NIFL came and with his fancy detector machine, entered our house. His $2,000 piece of equipment didn't detect a thing. He checked every room, the garage, everything. All he got was "0"s. He wrote down a bunch of information about our detector and told us that he thinks it may have malfunctioned.

Long story short, when you need to release some pressure, make sure you aren't sitting right next to the gas leak detector.

Happy St. Patty's Day To Me

I know what you're thinking, you must be crazy. It's only the beginning of August. Well, we had our first ultra sound on Friday and we found out that I am now 8 weeks along and I am due on Saint Patrick's day. No, we will not be naming the baby some odd Irish name. The name is still Taylor. Here are the two pictures they gave us. The second one shows how she measured Taylor to tell how old he/she is.

In this photo I think Taylor looks like a sea horse! We go back on August 30th for our next ultra sound and then we can see fingers and toes. We did see Taylor's heart beat and see him/her move around depending on how she touched my belly.

Shopping Nightmare

Ayron and I bought a new TV a couple of weeks ago. It doesn't fit in our current entertainment center (given to us). We decided to go look at entertainment centers yesterday afternoon. I didn't know there were so many freaking choices. After several hours and several stores, we finally went back to our first stop (the Sauder store in Coldwater Crossing) and finally decided on one. It will be in the store on Friday, so hopefully we can pick it up on Saturday. There is one glitch though. The wall that we want to put it on has our thermostat and at only 45 inches off the floor, it will prevent our new center from sitting flush against the wall. What does that mean you ask? It means that Ayron will have to poke a hole in my hallway wall, rerun some wires and then patch the old hole. He swears it will be easy, and I made him promise to let his dad help. Let's just keep our fingers crossed.

Onsie

Today is our first dr's visit. Well, let me clarify, our first Certified Nurse Mid-Wife (CNMW) visit. I love my CNMW, she is a great person. She has delivered a ton of babies and I completely trust her with my life as well as Taylor's.

I was thinking about the appointment this morning and as I walked out the door, I saw it. The Onsie. We were given a onsie by Nathan and Emily D. I currently have it hanging by the front door. I love the onsie. It says, "Nothings Wrong, Just Testing You." I think it's hilarious. It hit me. One day I will have something to put in that. What in the world were we thinking. Are we ready? Will we ever be ready? That thing is so small.

As if my nerves about this whole process aren't already shot, JoEllen (Ayron's Mom) decided to tell me Twin run on her side of the family as well as Tom's (Ayron's dad). Great. I'm already freaked out about one, lets make it two. Can you imagine. Potty training two at once? High School Book Rental? College? Braces? AHHHHHHH. I know, I know, no need to get yourself worked up since you don't know anything yet. Easier said than done.

Don't get me wrong, I am so excited about being a mom, I want this child(ren) more than anything. I have this feeling that there could be twins. I will be so excited if it is twins, one birth and I have my two babies. That would be cool. Can you imagine two Ayron's running around. Oh my gosh.

Stolen Post

I have stolen this post from my other blog. I thought about it all night and decided to add some more things to it. What do you remember/miss from your childhood. Keep in mind that what you write could show your age.

So it was my turn to pick the blog topic. After putting it off for several days (Sorry Kianne) I finally made up my mind this morning. Here are a few of my childhood favorites.

Hasbro's Kid Sister
Sarah, my kid sister, and I did everything together. Her hard plastic head with blue eyes that always looked like a deer in the head lights, even slept in my bed. I'm surprised I don't have a permanent indent left by her nose in my back. Her perfectly positioned freckles, plastic shoes, blue overalls and hat had me at hello. Plus, I could drag her where ever I wanted to go. Let me back track. My biological sister is 7 1/2 years older and often found me annoying, although I don't know why, I was wonderful (please sense the sarcasm in my typing). Natalee could not be persuaded to do anything, however, Sarah, my kid sister, she had no choice. We took bike rides(I'm sure she loved her basket seat), climbed the neighbors weeping willow tree, played beauty salon, and hang out in the backyard. There was one thing she couldn't do well, swim. Her big plastic head was floatable, but her fabric body soaked up moisture like a sponge. I'm pretty sure I still have Sarah, I think she now lives in a Rubbermaid tote in my shed.

Sit and Spins
Ahh, the best way to spend a hot afternoon, making yourself so dizzy you puked in the neighbors backyard. Starring at the spiral shaped colors on the (handle), watching them go round and round as you go round and round till you can't see straight. Funny this is, I could spin myself silly every afternoon, yet the gravatron at the fair seemed so unnatural.

Jail Break
I was fortunate to grow up on a cul-de-sac where lots of other kids lived. Ours was the cul-de-sac to play on. Kids from the rest of the block would come and beg to play. Right at the end of the cul-de-sac (that's such a funny word) was a light pole. That was base. I remember that Leah once tried to hide in a raspberry bush. That was a rough night. Turns out that Benadryl makes her unbelievably hyper. Ryan used to scale the pole and play look out, shouting to his team where everyone was. I tended to be the jailer. I wasn't a fan of hiding in the dark, I was happy to guard the jail.

Kick Ball
When we weren't play jail break, there was kick ball. A crack in the straight portion of the cul-de-sac was 1st base. My mailbox was 2nd, the light pole was 3rd, and home was a crack in Beaty's drive way. We had to be careful. A poorly aimed "home run" often bounced off our front window, which did not please the father. I really miss those days. I'm tempted to send out invitations to all of those kids I used to play with to have a day of jail break and kick ball.

Willow Tree
My neighbors had the perfect willow tree. It was very climbable. Stuart and I would spend hours in that tree. We had to be quiet though because his dad worked third and the tree was right outside his parent's bedroom. We were pirates, royalty, family, thieves, animal rescuers, explorers, just about anything you could think of. That tree had magical powers. The new owner of that house is thinking of cutting it down. It has gotten out of control and it is dying a slow death, but it will still be sad to see it go.

Jellie Shoes
I loved those things. They made your feet so hot and sweaty, and then sweaty feet equaled a farting sound when you walked. My mom used to try to get me to wear socks with mine. Come on mom, that was so uncool! I used to get rocks stuck in the bottom and my dad used to get so mad. I think he spent more time picking rocks out of the bottom then I did actually wearing them. They tried to make a brief comeback when I was in 7th grade. I had the coolest pair of chunky healed, clear, silver glittery pair. I loved those pair, till I fell off of them. Yes, I feel. Jillian and I had the same pair. We thought we were so cool. We'd wear them just to annoy our typing teacher. Ahh, those are the days.

Mario Brothers
The original. We never owned a Nintendo, we did have an Atari though, but Bennett's, they had a Nintendo. We used to lay behind the couch and play it all evening. I sucked at it, but it was so much fun.

My Record Player
My grandparents used to own a record store in downtown Garrett back in the day when Garrett was THE place to be. Growing up we had a ton of old records laying around the house. I remember lugging the blue and yellow bog out of the closet and plugging it in. I had Mickey Disco (It really was Nat's first) and the song "They're Coming To Take Me Away." I loved to sit on my bedroom floor listening to records. The cracks, pops, scratches, ahhh, I love that sound.

Ok, so at the risk of sounding like an old woman I'm gonna stop. What do you remember/miss from your childhood?

Shawn McDonald (Part II)

This song hit me over the head on my drive home last night.

Pride

Pride, walk out the door

Well, I don't need you anymore

I can do it on my own

Won't you please leave me alone

And Pride, walk out the door

Well, I don't need you anymore

I can do it on my own

Won't you please leave me alone

Well I'll say goodbye

Well I'll say goodbye

Well I'll say, I'll say goodbye

And hate, walk out the door

Well, I don't need you anymore

I can do it on my own

Won't you please leave me alone

See hate, walk out the door

Well, I don't need you anymore

I can do it on my own

Won't you please leave me alone

Welll I'll say goodbye

Well I'll say goodbye

I say goodbye

I say goodbye

I say goodbye

Well I'll say goodbye

Well I'll say, I'll say goodbye

Cause all we need is love [10x]

Shawn McDonald Part I (Amazing Grace)

I love Shawn McDonald's music. I have a friend who is just as equally excited about him as I am. Maybe it is his honesty? Or his raw sound? Or could it be his story. If you don't know his story, I highly recommend reading the next paragraph.

Shawn McDonald was raised by his grandparents. When he hit his late teens, he rebelled. He was living on the streets, doing and selling hardcore drugs. His parents had always taken him to church, but he never felt a calling. One night, while squatting in an apartment, he felt the urge to pray. During his prayer, he felt God tell him to get rid of his drug stash. He immediately flushed it and cleaned up any evidence. In the middle of the night, the police came to arrest him, they were sure they'd find him stash and finally be able to bust him. All they found was an empty apartment. Since then, Shawn has reconnected with God. His music illustrates his struggles as a Christian. The songs are so raw and real.

So back to my story. I'm sitting here at work, not feeling well at all. I am trying to decide if it is morning sickness (I'm usually sick at night) or the flu that is going around. I am moaning and groaning about having to come to work today for this big meeting and I'm struggling to finish Augusts activities for the after school group. I bought Shawn's new cd yesterday, so in an attempt to calm myself, I put the cd in my laptop. Track # 13 is "Amazing Grace."

I've heard "Amazing Grace" hundreds, if not millions of times. I've heard it done in just about any way possible. Bag pipes are especially moving. I found myself reallying listening to the words and hearing Him through Shawn's voice. I was immediately calm. It was amazing (no pun intended). That song has never touched me so deeply as it did this morning. I love this cd!

Here is one of my favorite songs of his.

Hold On

Another day gone by

And again I ask myself why

I question my sanity

Why I believe what I believe

Some might think that I am crazy

For believing in something I cannot see

So won't You now

Hold on to me, hold on

Hold on to me, yeah

Please don't let me go no, no, hold on

'Cause I am prone to wonder

Prone to leave this faith I know

Hold on

And now they say that the wise man

Well, he fears the Lord

And this fear, well, it's the beginning of all wisdom

And I must be a fool

'Cause I sure don't seem to fear You

'Cause the very things that You will me to do

Well, I just don't seem to get around to

The very things that You hate

Are the very things that I always stumble into

Hold on

Hold on

Hold on

Hold on

'Cause I am prone to leave this faith I know

Prone to leave this God I love

Won't You hold on

Won't You hold on to me