In the middle and confused

So once again I am in the middle. I don't think I put myself here, I think I was put here. Not that the person knew they were doing it, but it has been done. I am not sure how to react.

Back in middle school and high school I was best friends with the same group of girls. Up until my senior year I was great friends with one of them in particular. Then she started drifting away. She became engaged to a guy from another school. At the start of the second semester we became good friends again. The reason? I had started to date her fiances best friend (yes, Ayron). Then I left for college and we (the couples) drifted apart. They got married, Ayron and I continued to date. Fast forward like 5 years.

The couple divorces due to a sticky situation. Ayron and I become friends with the guy again. Ayron is happy to have his best friend back (and re call the dumb stuff they used to do) and I'm amazed to learn that he is a different guy now that he is no longer married to my former best friend. Turned out he was married to someone that they went to high school with (an older woman at that...haha. had to through that one in).

We become friends and have started hanging out and talking, etc. Now they are the God parents for our son. I love having this relationship with them and getting to know a different side of the guy I never knew when he was dating/married to my former friend.

Then the former friend finds me on facebook. I added her as a friend this morning, but I am unsure what to say to her. It's not like I have to tell her everything, "Um...I'm now really good friends with your ex and his new wife and they are the God parents of my child........" But I know that this person needs some friends. She burned many bridges during the divorce and I think she is slowly realizing all that she lost.

I know the whole thing about "hate the sin, not the sinner" but I still can't wrap my mind around the circumstances of the divorce. I talked to the "new wife" this morning and told her what I was feeling and she thinks I'm silly for stressing out over it. Maybe I am. I am just trying to figure out how to make the old world work with the new world. I'd like to be friends with my former friend, but right now I am not sure if I could keep my mouth shut and not offer my opinion about her past.

Lord,

Grant me the ability to know what to say and how to say it. Allow me to get over the past. Everyone else has. I was directly affected, and she didn't hurt me, so why am I hung up on it? Allow me to forgive her and open up my life to her again.

Amen.

I WON!!!

I just got some happy news. Back in October I signed up for Froggy's Free Lunch Friday drawing. My office, Community Corrections, finally won! They are bringing us lunch for all 10 people on Friday. Yeah for me!! Nothing like scoring brownie points with the boss through food! And our name will be on the radio so that's always good!

Extensive Vocabulary

I like to think that while I work with the "troubled" students, that I also work with some highly intelligent students. They are often misunderstood and cannot function in a traditional school setting. This morning I was taught a vocabulary lesson by a new student. Today makes day number 2 in my program for this particular student. Yesterday was fine and dandy. The student was here alone. I also have the student's best friend in my program. They were told that during "working" time they were to work at opposite ends of the room and are not allowed to talk.

So 10:00 rolls around and my aide asks the two to separate and the new student goes into a blind rage. I have never heard such lovely (insert your sarasm here) adjectives to describe my co-worker. The student strung them together like she was writing a descriptive paragraph.

I walked through the house (my program is run out of a converted house) and ask the new student, "What has gotten you so upset?" After listening to the response, I reply, "You were told yesterday that when your friend returned that you two would not be allowed to work next to each other. I need one of you to please move. The friend got up and started to move when the new girl described me in 2 words. I can honestly say that I have never been called these two words (to my face) by anyone, let alone a student. I was caught off guard, but quickly recalled a conversation I had with one of the probation officers shortly after taking this job.

"You'll be called a lot of things, but you have to let it slide off your back. You haven't made it in this career [meaning working with juvenile delinquents] until you have been called a 'F&#$ing B@$#%."

So I guess I have finally "made it" in my career. And all because I asked a student to move.

Daring or Stupidity?

I have recently updated all of the "student" computers at work. We have Internet blocking software so that certain sites are not accessible by the students. I just walked into the other classroom (I walked, making noise the whole way) and caught a student on myspace. She didn't even try to hide it. Did she think she was being sly? Like I wouldn't notice? Did she think I wouldn't say anything? Or did she just honestly think she could get away with it? Come on now. I took away her computer privileges for the rest of the week and now I have to figure out why our site blocker software didn't work (my boss set it up.

I AM DONE!!!

I have just finished my "To Do Before Maternity Leave" list for work! It feels good to finally be done. Two of the projects I had been putting off for various reasons, but this morning I made myself sit down and get them done. I am glad that I did. All I have to do is submit this grant on Thursday at my meeting and I AM DONE!!

I did learn something new today. Sidewalk salt only works on certain portions of the county's sidewalk. I use the same sidewalk salt as the jail. I had a student salt our sidewalk this morning. I needed to quickly go across the street to my other office (in the basement of the jail. It's not as scary as it seems.) In the half a block it took me to walk to the corner, I managed to do the splits 2 times on "my sidewalk." As soon as I crossed the street, the jail's sidewalk was dry as a bone!

Then on the way to walking to the program's truck, I managed to do the splits again. I did not know that a pregnant woman could do the splits 3 times in one hour. Needless to say, I am feeling the effects of my gymnastics adventures now. So now that my list is done, I plan on sitting on my butt the rest of the day.

She's hysterical!

My youngest niece is hysterical. She just is. She doesn't try to be. But most of the time her innocent comments crack everyone up.

Her family has recently decided to take up goats for 4-H. She is learning the terminology but uses it wrong. "Weathering" is the term used for female goats who will soon be giving birth. Turns out Banana was/is weathering. She knows what to look for and will constantly run out to the garage to check for babies. She came in Saturday night and proudly announced, "Banana's tail is crooked, so she's wuth...weath....she's gonna have babies." We sent her back out to check the goats tail again. She came in and announced, "Never mind, she's just pooping."

Marisa and her sisters also have three baby goats. While she was out playing with them, two of the goats became friendly with each other. Having seen rabbits mate, Marisa started screaming, "Mommy, they are making babies, make them stop, make them stop!" The calmly explained that the babies were just playing and that her boy goat couldn't help the girl goat make babies. When she asked, "Why" we were forced to explain that daddy took his rubber band gun (banding gun) and made sure that the little boy goat didn't make any babies. She thought about it for awhile and then went, "So if you took away his boy parts, what is he? Is he still a goat?" She then realized that Brutus (their dog) had his boy parts taken away and she looked at me and said, "Are you gonna take away Taylor's boy parts?"

One night at dinner my middle niece decided she didn't want to eat what was placed before her. She was told what we always tell the kids in the family. It will be waiting for you when you are hungry, and if you don't eat it before bed, you will eat it for breakfast. After some pouting when the rest of the family started eating dessert, Marisa looked at her and said, "Maddie, just suck it up and eat it, I did and now I get dessert!"

When Ayron and I arrived at her house on Saturday she asked "What took you so long to get here?" We told her, "We had to pick up the pizza's and drive here." She was all confused. We asked her several times to explain herself. Finally, she sighed, got up, pushed in her chair, and started walking towards me. She got really close to my stomach, pointed at my belly button, looked at my stomach and yelled at Taylor, "Hurry up all ready I want to see you." It was hysterical. We had to explain that hopefully Taylor will be here before the Easter bunny comes and leaves candy. So now she thinks the Easter bunny will magically deliver Taylor and instead of me getting candy, I'll get a baby.

I can't wait for this girl to get into kindergarten and talk for "show and tell."

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I almost forgot my favorite one. We had the radio on in the background and the song, "Picture to Burn" by Taylor Swift came on the radio. Marisa asked to turn it up so she could sing along. As she is singing, she hesitates, looks at her mom and says, "This song has a bad word in it." Her mom explained that if she sang the word when the song was on the radio it was ok. So according to my niece, the song sings like this:

"I hate that stupid (the word she is not allowed to say but managed to sing it very loudly and with emphasis) old hickup truck you ever let me drive. You a redneck, heartbreak, who isn't good at laying. "

The real lyrics: I hate that stupid old pickup truck you never let me drive. You're a redneck, heart break, who's really be a lie."

So now every time I see a pick up truck, I laugh and say to Ayron, "One day, I'm gonna drive a hickup truck."

Worthless Attempt (again)

Tuesday I drove in horrible weather just to testify. Transport didn't bring up the student. Today I drove in horrible weather and I'm guessing transport won't show up again today. I'm waiting for the court house to call me back.......sigh......oh well.

Something's Gonna Happen

I have this feeling like something is going to happen. I don't know what, when, or to whom. It's odd. I've had these feelings since starting college. While I can't tell if it's a good or bad thing, I can tell that it will be big.

I had one of these feelings the day my sister in law was hit by a semi. I was fidgety all day, my stomach was upset, couldn't focus. I just kept thinking, "somethings not right today." I was right, that day went horribly wrong.

Not all of my feelings are bad. I had one not to long ago. Turns out a good friend was in labor. After hearing the news, my feeling didn't go away. After some more digging, found out my other friend was in labor too.

I'm not saying that I think I'll go into labor today, although that would be fine with me if I did. I just feel like something is going to happen. I think it's a good something......I don't know. Maybe I'll go take a walk in the snow and pray....maybe God will send a sign, or some contractions....

Torn (part II)

Yesterday was a bad day. The weather was horrible. I had planned on staying home and working from my couch. No such luck. I was called to testify on a case (previously mentioned in "Torn.").

Knowing that the weather was bad, I awoke super early. I managed to get myself looking like a human in the only dress outfit that still "fits." Being a county employee, khakis don't cut it in court. I was forced to wear heals. HEALS people, in the snow and ice!

I made the white knuckle drive to work. The interstate was just lovely, let me tell you. I hurried at pulled my reports and rehearsed my testimony. Every so gently skated (remember, I'm in heals) to the court house at 8:45. The case was to begin at 9. No one was around. Finally the judge walked out and asked me, "What are you doing here?" To which I replied, "I thought we had a 9 am date?"

Turns out the transport from Muncie decided not to run yesterday. They didn't bother to call the judge until 8:50 to say they weren't going to bring the juvenile up. Nothing like planning ahead people. So I turned around and white knuckle drove back home.

I neatly folded my outfit and placed it in a safe spot for Friday morning instead......GRRRR. Oh well, the life of a government employee is never boring (?).

Torn

I have a hard job. Physically it's not hard. Mentally and emotinally it takes a toll on you. I had two problem students. Both were in need of serious help that could not be provided here in the county.

One had court this morning and was placed in a facility that will provide the help needed by the individual. While I sort of feel like I failed the student, I also knew there was nothing I could do to help this person. I am not certified to deal with the issues this person carries on a daily basis.

I had another student who has been a situation from the start. We thought we had the whole thing under control until this morning when the box flew off the lid again. The situation was just resolved about 30 minutes ago with some help from probation and the police department. It broke my heart. I know deep down that this is the only way to get the person the help they need, but it still broke my heart. I couldn't stand to watch the cuffs go on. The sound mad me gag. I don't know how people can stay in this profession for long periods of time.

I like to think I'm making a difference. I know that I am. Last year my programs saved the county half a million dollars in placement costs, but days like today make you second guess.

I'm an aunt (again)

Sad update (2/25): I learned that one of the goats passed away this weekend. They were in the process of switching from bottle to feed and although they followed the feed instructions, it was too much for the little goat. McKenna was heart broken but she will be getting another one in two weeks.

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I have three nieces on my husbands side of the family. Ranging in age from 12-4. The four year old is hilarious. Getting to her question takes some story telling so hang in there.

My nieces have become active in 4-H. The family now runs a small rabbit farm and they travel to shows with their prize winning rabbits (sounds funny doesn't it). Well, having done rabbits for two years, they wanted to try something a little more challenging. Enter in my 3 new nieces/newphews. All three girls now have goats. I am not sure what the gender of the goats are, but I do know they are goats. The older two girls' goats are still being bottle fed while my little niece's goat never nursed, it just took right to grain. Marisa is facinated with the bottle feeding and began asking questions.

They explained that when babies are born, they need their mommy to feed them. They showed her pictures of her being bottle fed, etc. Slowly putting two and two together she asked if I would feed Taylor. She was told yes, that I would be able to feed Taylor and maybe she could too.

She is still a little unclear about the basics of child making (fine by me) so her logic at times is hysterical. She is slowly getting the concept that Taylor is in "Aunt Marma's tummy" and he'll come out around Easter time. She thinks I am keeping him in there so that he can't meet her. We have to constantly reassure her that she will be able to see Taylor once he is here and we are not hiding him from her. Her little mind started going.

She wandered up to her dad and point blank asked him, "Do we all have little people inside of us?" Confused, he asked for clarification. She simply replied, "Little people. Do we all have them inside of us." My brother-in-law thought she was referring to the tv show "Little People Big World." He was still unsure where her question was going to lead so he called his wife into the room and had Marisa ask Mom. After some prying they got their explination. Marisa wondered if we all had little people inside of us and once we hit a certain point the little people would come out (apparently this is her theory on how babies are made). They happily let her believe that. After they were satisfied with the discussion Marisa asked one final question. "Do the little people push our poo out?" Completely caught of guard, they again had to ask for clarification. "Well when R had her baby in her tummy she went potty all the time and Marma goes potty all the time. Do the little people push our poo out for us?" Their answer, "No, your body does that on it's own."

She's still not convinced. So according to her I am hiding my child from her because I don't want him to met her and he is currently living in my tummy pushing poo out until around the time the Easter bunny shows up. I can't wait for this girl to hit kindergarden!

Playing Dumb

Playing dumb does not work people. Well, ok, I'll admit, it may work for some people, but in the situation that occured yesterday, it failed.

Being outspoken and frustrated at the whole idea of playing dumb, I'm gonna lay it all out there for you.

My sister is in the middle of a transitional phase in her life. Not a big shocker to anyone who reads her blog. She uses her blog as a means of catharsis. I understand why she does that. We know that several friends as well as family members read our blogs. That is why the boring, often mundane situations are blogged about. We know that while we may not tell our mother certain aspects of our life (for our own reasons) we also know that she'll eventually figure it out. We are both adults and both have lives of our own and we both need the chances to fall on our faces as well as succeed on our own. Ok, enough background.

So my mom called me last night and tried to play dumb. "Have you talked to your sister lately?" Nope. Sure, we emailed, chatted, text messaged, but actually talking, nope. "Oh, well have you read her blog?" I lied. I knew where she was trying to get me to go and I am sick of her fishing. "Nope, I've been too busy at work." Mom got quiet. She knew I was on to her. I point blank told her, "Mom, I am not my sister's keeper. She is an adult and can take care of herself. The phone works both ways. If you want to talk to Nat, call her." She apparently didn't like my response. She immediatly called Ayron and tried the same fishing technique. Ayron flat out told her, "Yes I know what is going on, but no I will not tell you. It is not my place. If you want to know, ask Nat." Mom told Ayron, "But I'm supposed to play dumb." She heard it through the grapevine but was apparently told, "but you didn't hear it from me" type of lines.

I immediatly texted my sister and filled her in. No sense in mom trying to sneak attack her, although we all know/knew it was coming.

WHY PLAY DUMB? We all know you know. We purposely aren't playing your game because we want/need you to learn that the phone works both ways. We also know that if we blog something, eventually mom will learn about it. If anything was a big giant secret, why the heck would be blog about it for everyone to read?

I guess I'm just sick of everyone playing dumb, not just my family. It almost never works. If I find out you were playing dumb and it wasn't for a valid reason (right now I can't think of a valid reason) in my eyes, you appear more ignorant than you would have if you had been honest. Honesty people, what a concept. Yes, I know, I lied to my mother. I'm a hypocrite. But it was not my place to discuss my sister's life. My attempt to stay neurtral backfired and I ened up looking like a shmuck. Life goes on.

Why is honesty such a hard thing for people to follow? I know that it can be a hard thing to swallow. I've been burned by the truth, but I've also been burned worse when I found out the truth.

Ok, I'll put my soap box away for now.

Testing, Testing

Here are my test shots with the new camera.


The nursery is slowly coming along. It looks trashed, but it's hard to clean and organize while the room is still a work in progress. I am hoping the wall paper border will come in today and it can be put up by the end of the week. It will line up with the bottom of the windows and is 9 inches high. That is why the "line" between the blue and green isn't perfect.

My New Toy

Our digital camera has been causing us some issues lately. It is the first model of the Kodak Easy Share and it has some years on it. We decided that with a baby on the way, we needed a new one. Thanks to our tax refund check we decided to go ahead and get one. I spent yesterday doing some research and price shopping. We probably could have saved $20 if we bought it off the internet, but I'm the type of person who likes to have the object in my hand right after I pay for it. So last night we went to Wal-Mart for the millionth time this month. They had the camera we wanted in stock, so we bought it. It is fun! I played around last night and took some pictures with it and I think it's the start of a beautiful relationship.

Unexpecting Sighting

Ayron and I spent Saturday afternoon diligently spending our tax refund check on neccesary baby items. We even had coupons (Oh my gosh, I'm turning into my mother!). But that's another blog. Anyways...

After a long afternoon of shopping we decided to eat at Casa's. When we got there, the wait was 45 minutes and there were a lot of gussied up concert goers. I knew that Rascal Flatts had a concert right across the street, but I thought it had already begun. We decided not to hang around and as we were walking out and complaining about the wait with a couple of gussied up concert goers we learned that due to illness the concert was cancelled. As we were pulling out of the parking lot, I happened to look across the street at all of the semis and buses. I was day dreaming about what it would be like to be on tour when I noticed a guy walking towards the parking booth attendant. It was Gary LeVox! There he was, just walking around the parking lot waiting for everything to be loaded up so they could hit the road. It was hysterical to watch him just hang out in the parking booth. A mini van full of teenage girls pulled into that entrance (obviously not aware that the concert had been canceled). Can you imagine the loudness of their screams when they realize they weren't talking to a parking lot attendant, but the lead singer of Rascal Flatts?

Ok, so the whole incident made my weekend. I was going to buy tickets to the show (having never been to a real concert) but I didn't because I knew that if I bought tickets, Taylor Josiah would decide to show up early. Now that the concert has been reschedueled for May 9, I'm wondering if I could find a pair of tickets....

Different Stages in Life

* This is not intended to tick anyone off, it is merely rambelings from my mind put into "print"

A friend recently told me she was sick of hearing about everyone's pregnancy news. She is not married nor is she pregnant, so I can understand that. She didn't say it to hurt my feelings and I know that. I don't think she hurt my feelings, but I'm sure I have some emotional conflict down in there some place that will shoot out if I don't ramble about it now.

I can see things from her point of view. Everyone around her is married and or having kids. She isn't and doesn't plan on having kids for some time. I try to keep my baby talk to her a minium, but I know that it slips out. It is the highlight of my life right now and I want to share it. I guess I don't stop to think how it might make her feel. I have several friends who are pregnant or who are trying right now and since we all have baby on the brain, we talk about baby related topics.

I can also see things from a different point of view. I have two friends (one is the previously mentioned friend) who are "single." By that I mean, not married. One is in a relationship and lives with the guy, the other is clearly single. Just as I am sure they are sick of hearing about baby things, I too get sick of hearing bar stories. I am not a drinker. I have never been a bar hopper. I've never been a partier. I don't stay out till 4 am. I get up at 4am to go potty, but I don't just stumble in at 4am. Don't they realize that I am not a fan of hearing their bar/drunken stories just like they aren't a fan of hearing my baby stories?

I guess it just boils down to being in two different places in our lives. I am throughly happy with my life and where I am at in my life. So I apologize if my baby talk is too much for you, but relalize that a majority of my friends are in the same stage as I am so that is what my mind is focused on.

Happy Happy Friday!

I am in a good mood, although looking at me you'd never be able to tell. I feel like crud today, but logging into your on line banking center and seeing that your check, your husband's check, and your tax refund check all were deposited this morning will make anyone giddy!

I was given a clean bill of health yesterday at the doctor's office, so last weeks blood pressure and protein scare were a fluke! I can go back to living life normally!!

Do keep me in your prayers over the next two weeks. I have two huge court cases that I am in the middle of concerning two of my students. I am struggling to pray that His will be done and not my wishes. It is tough, but in the end I hope the judge will know what to do.

Have a happy weekend everyone!

Sympathy Contractions Part II

My friend had her baby around 5pm last night. Little Hunter Michael came in at 7lbs. 1 ounce (I thought he'd be bigger) and approx. 21 inches long. I plan on going to see them tonight and hearing about her birthing experience. Don't worry, there is nothing she could tell me that would freak me out!

My contractions were so strong yesterday afternoon that I got to thinking...."I wonder if anyone else is in labor?" So I emailed a friend of mine, T, to see if his wife was in labor. Sure enough, this morning I got an email saying that an hour after I sent the email their little bundle of joy was born. Yesterday must have been a good day to have a boy!

I'm finally starting to look pregnant instead of just pudgy. When I walked into my other office yesterday my one co-worker went, "YOU'RE PREGNANT!" I was caught off guard. She knew I was, she gave me a gift, why is she so shocked now? When I questioned her she said, "Yeah, but now you finally look the part!" It cracked me up. I am starting to really have the signs of being 36 weeks prego. I have been able to avoid the swollen ankles (knock on wood) but just walking the block to my other office leaves me winded. Heck, getting dressed (mind you, in layers, it's cold here) makes me want to go back to bed for a quick nap! Only 33 more days till the due date!!

Picking the Wrong Guy

This is out of the Herald-Republican today. It cracks me up because I know Marty McNeal from committee work and I can just picture him and hear what he thought the whole time.

"Hibbs admitted to robbing Steuben County Prosecutor's investigator Marty McNeal during the early morning hours of Nov. 3, 2207.

McNeal was approached by Hibbs outside an Angola gas station. Hibbs appared to have an object under his sweatshirt, and demanded money. McNeal gave him approximately $14 and then drew his sverice weapon and yelled "Stop, police."

Can you imagine the robber's train of thought? "Hey, I think I'll rob that guy!...Man, only $14 this is a crock...wait what...he's with the police....crap!"

Sympathy Contractions

I currently have a friend who is in labor. She has had a rough pregnancy and she is going early, but the doctor's are ok with it. Here is our conversation via text messages.

"Guess What? I'm in labor"

"R U at home or hospital?"

"Hosp. im 4cm. i got admitted @ 9"

"So you have nothing better to do than text me?"

"yeah, & try not 2 cry."

"we will come see you 2morrow. give you today with family and hunter."

"k! thanx. its not that bad yet. but drugs will be involved."

About a half an hour later I sent her the following text.

"Um, I'm having sympathy contractions for you. I've never had them this strong."

"Dont u go n2 labor 2!"

"I'm fine, rest and get ready to push."

"yeah, i'm getting closer 2 drugs."

"you should have packed your laptop to pass the time. they have free wi-fi. youre prob. a bit busy now though."

"jerry 4got it. but im just trying 2 get through the contractions. they r getting closer and closer."

"just rest. let us know if you need n e thing."

About an hour later, I received this text from her.

"Epidurals r great!"

I had to laugh. This girl has two tattos, one that spans from her hip up to her arm pit, her nose pierced and her ears pierced and her pain tolerance is so low. I know it's a different type of pain, but I thought she'd last longer without drugs.

My contractions haven't really let up all afternoon so I got nervous. I have another friend who is past due. I emailed her husband and told him I was having sympathy contracations and I wondered how his wife was. This is the guy who will email back in like 2 seconds flat. So far, no response...hmm...wonder if shes in labor too?!

I'm not nervous about giving birth. I'm amazed at what the human body can do. I've been reading books and have choosen the Bradley method of natural child birth. This involved no drugs, but working with your body to deliver in a natural way. I will say that I am not against drugs, but I'm not going to scream "EPIDURAL" at the first contractions. I can handle a lot of pain and was told by my surgeon (had my gallbladder out) that after that pain (my gallbladder was solid and about the size of tennis ball) child birth will be easy. I am just curious about how it will feel. I want to say that I did it natural and was completly "with it" the entire time. I will follow the advice of my nurse mid-wife but she is a firm believer in the Bradley method as well. It sounds odd, but I'm looking forward to the "pain." My mom says, "it's not pain, people just don't know what else to call it." I thought she was a bit crazy, till I read that exact same thing in my Bradley book. So mom hasn't lost it all after all. Hehe. I'm looking foward to the whole experience. People keep asking me if I'm nervous. Nope. I've done my reading, talked with others, planned with my nurse mid-wife and Ayron. My body will take over and I just have to cooperate with it.

Check, Check, and Check Again

I did our taxes last week on turbotax.com I was semi-happy about our return, but everyone has been telling ayron we should be getting more back. We decided we would try to refile in like a month or two and see what we could find.

Turns out that Liberty Tax Services will check your turbo tax forms for free and tell you if you should refile. Ayron is going to go up there tonight and have them check our forms. If they can find a lot more money, then I'll be happy to pay their "refiling" fee.

Let's all pray we are getting more back!

Down to once a week

I now must go to the doctor once a week until Taylor decideds to join us. It is nice to know that once a week I'll have a half day of work, but planning for that half day is exhausting. I am not ready for maternity leave but am frantically trying to get everything in order.

When I went yesterday they did the normal "here's your cup" test and turns out I have protein in my urine. I joked with my father in law by saying, "I peed a steak!" My blood pressure was also sky high, even after resting. My level of protein was the lowest level, but they are still watching me. If it shows up again next week I get to spend a whole day collecting urine. Fun fun fun!

Are Your Bags Packed Yet?

My aunt asked me that question about a week and a half ago. At the time I was about 7 weeks away from my due date.

"Um, no?" And I'm still not packed. I am not sure what to bring. I am not afraid to admit my ignorance about this. I've never given birth before, I don't know what to bring. I can guess on some of the essentials. Slippers, night gowns, deoderant, shower stuff, etc. But I am wondering what I should bring that people normally forget.

My mom asked me the other day if my bag was packed (I don't know if she was serious or joking since she knew her sister had already asked me) and now I'm feeling guilty that it's not. What if I suddenly go into labor? I think I know why I am procrastinating. We already have enough stuff to get done (we are hopefully finishing the nursery this week) that I keep pushing the "bag packing" back. Plus, I live like 2 blocks from the hospital and my mom lives one block. If I don't have something, it's not like it will take forever to run and get it.

If any mom's (or dad's) have advice on what to pack, feel free to offer it now!

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I was chatting this morning with an "ex" (it's a long story) who's wife has recently had a child. I asked him, "What's something out of the ordinary I should pack?" His answer. Swim trunks for Ayron! I was curious, is there a giant swimming pool I don't know about? He said that when his wife was in labor that had her sit on a birthing ball in the shower and had him spray her back with water. He said he wore his swim trunks. What a novel idea! I never would have thought about that! So swim trunks it is.

I promise I am going to start packing my bag this weekend. I know all of the basic tolietries but now I have to dig through our packed away summer clothes to find Ayron's swim trunks...see "ex's" can be helpful!

Bestest Sister In the Whole Wide World

I've always wanted an ipod. I don't know why. I'm not a materialistic person. I have an mp3 player with a usb port and it works just fine, but it is a pain to load songs on to and it has too many features. I use it, but usually not without a fight.

My sister got a free ipod 1G shuffle when she opened her new checking account. Guess what I got yesterday as a "baby shower" present! Hehe! I am currently loading my cds into itunes and then transfering them to the ipod! Hehe!

Baby Shower

Yesterday was my baby shower and it was fun! I just want to say thank you to everyone for everything. Especially Kelly, Emily and Pam! It was a blast and Ayron had fun playing with the rattles when I got them home. These are just a few of the pictures from yesterday's fun. A big thanks to the guys who played poker with Ayron during the shower. The diapers are greatly appreciated.

Me trying to c ompile my many bags. If anyone needs a baby shower bag, let me know. I have plenty.

Let's hope Taylor's feet aren't this big when he is born!

My lovely vibrating bouncy chair! I know this will come in handy when Taylor is fussy.

The dessert table! Yummy yummy in my tummy tummy!

I love this book! It always makes me cry!

Happy Happy Day

So they day didn't start out that great. I woke up feeling like warmed up Scooter droppings. I was upset because the school district I follow stuck with their 2 hour delay instead of cancelling (I'm still a kid at heart!). I then made dinner plans with friends, only to remember I already had an appointment. Work was crazy, but then Ayron called. Ok, wait, slow down, don't go, "Oh, mushy, gross, etc."

He had lunch with his parents and they are attempting to find me a rocking chair! Yeah! I found one I really liked at Wal-Mart of all places. Ayron told me they were going to look at furniture stores and I freaked out, "The one I like is on sale at Wal-Mart, don't spend more money! He laughed. I have been looking at glider rockers for the nursery and was waiting to buy one until our tax money comes. Turns out I can put that tax money towards the cool stroller I want instead!

Then to add icing to the cake, Ayron told me that Grandpa Tom (his dad) and Uncle Phil (his brother) will start slowing down at work (they own their own construction business) and that they are willing to make Taylor's cradle. Yeah!!! I'm happy! I want this cradle to be something that can be passed down. What cracks me up is that the cradle will get done long before the coffee table (supposed to be a Christmas present from 2004) or the end tables (wedding present from 2005) will! Oh well, I can't complain. Phil is great at woodworking. For Taylor's first birthday, I'm thinking a rocking giraffe!!

Control

I have a problem letting go of my control. I am not a control freak, I do not crave it. Maybe I should say that I have a hard time delegating the tasks that I do on a daily basis.

I know that I should be slowly teaching my staff how to do certain things. They will be doing these things when I'm gone. Why can't I just show them? Why do I insist on doing them? If I could delegate, maybe I wouldn't be so stressed out. I guess I feel like I'm burdening them when I ask them (or anyone) to do anything for me. Yes, I know it is their job, but I guess I just think, "Oh it will be quicker for me to do it." I need to get over this thinking.

I have gotten better at asking for help outside of work, but for some reason I can't at work.

New Book

I was finally able to make it to the library this week and I found an interesting new book. The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible.

It is by the same gentleman that wrote The Know It All after reading a complete set of encyclopedias. As I stared to read the book I wondered if I should read it.

While I am strong in my faith, my knowledge of the Bible is not as strong as it should be. I cannot quote lots of scripture of the top of my head and I'm not afraid to say, "I'm not sure, let me ask someone who does know."

I have been pulling up the Bible on line to check the context of the verses he has used so far. If nothing else, it should be a good read and it does make me check my lack of knowledge with THE BOOK!

Why Dogs Bite

I took these from a email that was forwarded to me. Scooter would never sit long enough for me to do this to him.

Storm

This past weekend at church the sermon really hit home for me. The concept that although we are saved, our lives will not be perfect is hard for some people to swallow. I'm realizing it more and more. My life will not be easy, in fact I could be persecuted for my beliefs. It makes me think of Natalie Grant's song "Held."

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we’d be held.

I've recently become addicted to Lifehouse (again). It just seems like their songs put into words experiences that I have gone through or experiences that my friends are going through now. I don't know if they consider themselves a Christian band. I know some people try to label them that way, and that several Christian bookstores in the area sell their songs. I don't know what the story is behind this song but it hit me this week that it could be taken in a religious way. It just keeps playing in my head. While I don't think that I am in a storm, I know several friends who are and I've been there, so I can understand the emotions this song portrays.

How long have I been in this storm?

So overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form

Water's getting harder to tread

With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you

Everything would be all right

If I could see you

This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water

And you will catch me if I fall

And I will get lost into your eyes

And everything will be all right

And everything will be all right

I know you didn’t bring me out here to drown

So why am I ten feet under and upside down

Barely surviving has become my purpose

Because I’m so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you

Everything would be all right

If I could see you

This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water

And you will catch me if I fall

And I will get lost into your eyes

And everything will be all right

And everything will be all right

I can visualize someone who is so confused pleading with God to make His plan and purpose known. I think at at times all of us wish we could know His plan for us, but at times He keeps it a mystery. It is at those times that I have felt like I was in the dark and I was pleading with Him to make His plans known. We just have to remember that everything will happen according to His timing, not ours!

Hilarious

Is this the love child of Chris Farley or just a little girl with gas?




And what will you say if your wives are watching the game?



I'm gonna guess his parents used this as an example of what will happen if he doesn't start brushing his teeth.



I'd like my paint stirred, not shaken!



Does this qualify the umpire for a double since his pants AND his underwear have holes?

Oh No, Part II

Last week I posted about my cravings for girl scout cookies. Don't worry, I have tracked down a girl scout and will soon be placing my order.

I was telling my mom about my cravings when she told me about the DeKalb County Cookie Eating Contest. This is done every year to kick off the cooking selling season. Turns out this years winner ate 57 shortbread (they are gonna stop making them!!) cookies in 2 minutes. Congrats Adam on eating that many cookies and not getting sick!

When I questioned Adam about his new title, he responded, "Eating 57 cookies in 2 minutes gives you bad gas!"

I'm guessing that eating 57 anythings in 2 minutes will give you gas!

Thoughts on Hockey

Friday night was fun. We went to a Komets game with J and K. I have been to 3 games before, but never paied attention. I actually watched the game this time. I have come to several conclusions about the sport of hockey and the fans.

1.) It really is a sport for people with anger managment issues. There was only one fight, but it escalated from a scuffle to a fight in the blink of an eye. I can't decide if as a hockey player you have no patience and thats why fights happen or you have a lot of patience and you are the few who don't get into fights? Not sure on that one yet.

2.) The refs must be former figure skaters. I saw the refs do several neat moves to avoid blocking the puck. I also think that if I were a ref, I'd be wearing more than a helmet. I'm talking full pads, face mask, everything!

3.) Drunk fans are funny, maybe, to a point! We had some drunk college age people behind us. I think they spent more time climbing up and down the stairs in their attempts to carry beer back than they did sitting watching the game. Oh, and language. Language doesn't usually bother me. Look at who I work with. But when the only word you can utter is the "f bomb" it's time to shut your cakehole. You just sound stupid! We all know you are drunk (we can do math. 5 beer runs, with 2 beers each equals 10 beers....) there is no need to prove to us you are a stupid drunk!


4.) Fans are also willing to make a fool of themselves playing silly in-between period games sponsered by the local businesses. We saw a taco race, a hockey puck shooting game, etc. Fans, unless you have practice, IF YOU RUN ON THE ICE, YOU WILL FALL!!

Apparently I work too much!

This just in, I work too much! I just got off the phone with my boss. Apparently if I earn any more "comp" time I will get him in trouble. Well, hello! I was storing it up so I still get a paycheck during maternity leave! Apparently I have reached the max and I am not allowed to earn anymore. I will now have to use my vacation, sick and holidays to cover any time off that my "comp" time doesn't.

Here I thought I was being a good teacher and planning everything and taking time at night to plan and individualize the lessons. Apparently I have worked too much and I can no longer put in extra hours.

Telling the Truth

In the past year I have read several baby books. After reading every book the library had, I stumbled across one called Belly Laughs (my italics isn't working right) by Jenny McCarthy. My friend recently bought me her second book called Baby Laughs. I've even read her book about dealing with her sons Autism diagnosis. I must say that her books offer the most honest and real take on pregnancy and child birth. Sure, it's crass, after all it is Jenny McCarthy, but she is so real about the whole process. She tells it like it is, all the pleasants and the not so pleasants. Sure, her language and choice of words at time could offend you, but knowing who the author is ahead of time explains the language.

Take for instance the following paragraph on Baby Poop: "There is nothing in this world like baby poop. The aroma, the ability to defy gravity, the texture, and my favorite...the color. I remember thinking, 'Wow, I've never seen this type of green before.' You hear other moms talk about it. Maybe even get some stories from your own mom. But when you get to experience it firsthand, you'll realize there's nothing like it!"

To anyone who is pregnant or thinking of becoming pregnant I urge you to read her books. Not to scare you with her take on the experience, but her books don't sugar coat. You have to be willing to get over the horrible language, but if you can do that, it is refreshing to here someone be so honest about the situation.

Uh Oh, Not Good

I've finally started to have some cravings. Nothing out of the ordinary. I know that it is normal and you can induldge a little bit. That being said.

I was driving to work and listening to the radio. Turns out today is the kick off for the Girl Scout "Cookie" season. I immedietly started going through people in my head. "Who has a daughter that sells them?" I know that B's daughter does. I know that S, my aide at work, has twins that do.......Hm.....wonder how soon I can get my hands on some thin mints....ohh, or the peanut butter ones...oh my....it's gonna be a long 8 weeks.

Sinking Your Own Ship

I have been using this expression a lot this week with my day program kids and I don't know where I got it from. I have three high schoolers that will go back to the high school Thursday. They have known since their first day in the program what they have to accomplish in order to not fail the classes they were placed in. They were all doing great until this week. Why wait till the last two days to start screwing around and messing up a good thing? Maybe it's a high school trait I've forgotten. No, scratch that. I never had that trait. I was the one who wanted to get done ahead of schedule. I had a student wait till today to start working on a class. He has had the work for two weeks, and granted, it's a simple class, but why wait till the last day. I can promise you he won't get the last 7 chapters he needs done completed in the next 30 minutes. It's discouraging. I give these kids all the tools they need and they still choose to sink their boat.

It kills me to watch them frantically try to paddle and bail out water on the last day. I can't throw them any more lifesavers, I'm all out. They are all 16 or older and they knew what they needed to do. It's hard. I am afriad the school will look at me and the students' performances will reflect negativly on me. I tried, I did everything I could, but their boats are still slowly sinking.

I will have 3 new students starting Thursday from the alternative school along with the 1 already enrolled and two middle schoolers. I'm actually looking forward to this bunch. The 4 students from the alternative school are independent workers, they have to be in order to qualify for the alternative program. These students I know I won't have to stand over and watch them every second of every day. I am hoping I can use my time better by planning for maternity leave.

So is this stalling trait something I lack? Did I have it and I simply forgot? I know I stal, but I never did with my school work. Maybe that's why I am a teacher now. Who knows.

Siblings

If you are like me, the youngest child in the family, you remember those days of being picked on and told to "go away." I recently spent the weekend with my sister and it got me thinking, "When did we actually start to get along?"

Is there this magical age that once both parties have crossed that age you suddenly see each other as humans and not a sibling to fight with? We've never had any knock down drag out fights (after all, we're not boys) but I do remember punching her in the stomach once because she wouldn't move.

It's odd to have your older sibling look at you like a human instead of an annoying little sister who only wants to scratch her Monkey's or Beatles records. Or to have her offer her legs (you had to be there) when you fall on your fat prego butt instead of point and laugh. Sure, she laughed later, but I'm sure it was comical site.

I have a friend who has 2 younger siblings. She has always gotten along with her much younger brother, but her sister, not so much. It's funny to see them out and about now and actually getting along. I remember her swearing that after she moved out of her parents house she would never talk to her again. Cracks me up. She doesn't see it, but I do. Some day those two will become friends!

Politicly Correct?

I have recently become claustrophobic in my clothes. I put on a shirt that used to be huge on me and low and behold, it's slowly getting tight. Ahhh!! That is not a good feeling for someone who is already claustrophobic.

Sure, it's to be expected (being 7 months prego and all), but it doesn't help the "waddling duck" feeling I have. Guess it's time to cave and start wearing Ayron's shirts.

I did have someone ask me what the "pc" term was for how I was. I didn't know there was a "pc" term for being "with child." Call me pregnant, I don't care. You're not going to suprise me. I don't like the term "knocked up" which seems to be rising in popularity due to the movie. I think I dispise it because it has some sort of connotation with it. Like I didn't plan to become pregnant. Is there a "pc" term other than pregnant? Am I oblivious to this whole thing because I am not the ideal pregnant woman?

Is there such a thing as an "ideal pregnant woman?" It is no suprise that I do not like being pregnant. I like knowing that I am carrying a child and that I am able to carry a child, but I am not the "glowing ever happy pregnant" woman. Heck, I don't even look pregnant. I just look like I drank one too many beers last night.

This whole experience has been just that, an experience. There are parts I like and parts I'd rather not relive (He just used my bladder as his personal punching bag). Knowing that Taylor will be here with us in 9 weeks is thrilling and terrifying all at once. It's all starting to fall into place and freak me (and Ayron) out.

That Sucks!

Our vaccuum has been dying a slow death for the past 2 months. Maybe it was the abundance of doggy hair. It could have been the fact that it was a Wal-Mart after Thanksgiving Day special. Who knows. We finally decided to pull the plug on it last night.

Ayron swept the house using the old vaccuum before I got home from work, but could tell it wasn't doing anything. We've been though this before. We emptied the canister, replaced the filter, checked for clogs, etc. Nothing. We gave up and took a trip to Wal-Mart to buy a new one.

We ended up buying a new Bissell. Out of curiosity, we swept the same parts that Ayron had with the old vaccuum earlier. We were able to suck up a full canister of things that the old vaccuum missed. It was gross. All along we thought our carpet was cleaned, but once we swept it with a better vaccuum, we learned otherwise.

I Love It!!

I Love This! I agree with this mom 100%.

'Meanest mom on planet' sells son's car

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) -- Jane Hambleton has dubbed herself the "meanest mom on the planet."

After finding alcohol in her son's car, she decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old's misdeed with everyone -- by placing an ad in the local newspaper.

The ad reads: "OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet."

Hambleton has heard from people besides interested buyers since recently placing the ad in The Des Moines Register.

The 48-year-old from Fort Dodge says she has fielded more than 70 telephone calls from emergency room technicians, nurses, school counselors and even a Georgia man who wanted to congratulate her.

"The ad cost a fortune, but you know what? I'm telling people what happened here," Hambleton says. "I'm not just gonna put the car for resale when there's nothing wrong with it, except the driver made a dumb decision.

"It's overwhelming the number of calls I've gotten from people saying 'Thank you, it's nice to see a responsible parent.' So far there are no calls from anyone saying, 'You're really strict. You're real overboard, lady."'

The only critic is her son, who Hambleton says is "very, very unhappy" with the ad and claims the alcohol was left by a passenger.

Hambleton believes her son but has decided mercy isn't the best policy in this case. She says she set two rules when she bought the car at Thanksgiving: No booze, and always keep it locked.

The car has been sold, but Hambleton says she will continue the ad for another week -- just for the feedback.

Please Pray

Here is an email I just received from the mom of one of my friends.

"Happy New Year! This year is already proving to be eventful......

It has been an interesting couple of days. You may know that L hasn't been feeling well for nearly a week. She is 7 months pregnant and her doctor thought she had an infection (treatable). Yesterday, not feeling any better, she went back to see the doctor.

She was put in the hospital, just for overnight, still thinking it was an infection. This morning she was told that it was not an infection but she had begun premature labor. She was put on medication to stop the labor and released to go home to complete bed-rest for the remainder of her pregnancy.

The baby is doing great (he kept kicking the monitor patches) but her body is saying enough is enough and wants it to be over with..........hmm....... She is only allowed to be up to use the restroom and a 10 min. shower each day. The rest of the time she is either in bed or laying down on the couch. Her only outing will be once a week to the doctors office. They are shooting for at least one more month before he comes.

L is hoping that you will come visit whenever you can. Within the next day or so she will have a laptop and can access her email. Also, she has her cell phone by her side.

Right now she is in good spirits but I think that may not last long for her or J(her husband).

Your prayers are most appreciated."

After reading it twice, I began to cry. I'm not sure why. But it hit me. That could be me! She is only 2 weeks furthur into her pregnancy than me. It's all becoming a reality now. I'm not scared, but it is an interesting experience to realize all that could happen.

This whole thing has defienatly been a spiritual experience for me. Knowing that my body is helping to create and support a life without me thinking about it. It's amazing. You really begin to comprehend the awesome power of God.

Heat Wave!!

At the end of summer, when the thermometer hits 60 degrees we are freezing. In January when the thermometer hits 60 degrees we call it a HEAT WAVE!!!!!

Insurance and Pay Raises

I finally got my health insurance card today!! I am so excited. It is funny to look at the little plastic card and realize how much it is saving us. I was on Ayron's insurance through his work. Just to insure me we were paying around $100 a month. When I found out I could get the county's health insurance plan through work I was estatic. Better coverage and for the big big price of $1 a year. Yep, I now pay $1 a year! That will change when Taylor is put on my insurance, but it will still be cheaper than adding him to Ayron's work plan. There is a drawback to accpeting the county's insurance though. The employee only pays $1 a year, but the employees office must pick up the rest of the cost.

In order for my program to pick up the rest of the cost, I had to "forefit" a bigger pay raise. I am perfectly fine with that. With my new raise added in my paychecks will have an extra $20 in it each pay period. Doesn't seem like a lot, but with the change insurance and my raise, we will add an extra $140 to our budget each month. We have decided to take that money and put it into savings each month. We are already used to "not having it" so it won't be that big of a deal. If we are consistant and good about depositing it into savings, in a year we can save an extra $1680.

That may not seem like a lot, but in my mind, any little amount you can put back is great. You never know when the car might need repairs or when the washer will die (ours already did). This way we can have a cushion just in case anything happens.

I'm also excited because I am now up to 150 hours in comp time at work. In order to have a paid maternity leave I have to rack up comp time and then use my sick/vacation/personal days. I want to try to leave some of my sick days untouched. By the time Taylor gets here I will have 10 sick days, 5 vacation days, and 5 personal days. With the way the students have been cranking out work, I will have plenty of work to take home at night to grade and add hours to the comp time. Looks like we will be able to afford me being off of work after all.

It's been a great Friday, but I am ready to get out of here. To bad I have to stay late to meet with a family. I did fill out as much as the paperwork as I could so the meeting should hopefully only be 15 minutes and then I'm outta here!!!

More Pics

Here are the pics my sister took while she was home for break. Most of them are at my house. I would like to state:

*that Ayron is wrestling with Scooter, not trying to kill him!
*I am not that big in the belly (I was pushing it out for effect.
* Natalee made the naughty cookies
* we are buying Ayron a new belt today!

http://opme.blogspot.com

Last Year's Christmas Present

Last year Aryon gave me a puppy for Christmas. It's funny to look at him now and see how HUGE he has gotten. My sister calls him a "big dog" but I call him little. He is low to the ground and fairly compact. He can be a pain, but at times, he keeps me entertained and healthy.

Attempt at Technology Failed

Ok, earlier this week my attempt at trying new technology failed. I removed that blog and decided to try it again. I am currently uploading 37 pictures to slide.com and will then attempt to make a "slide" that I can post on my blog so that everyone can see the photos I took from Christmas. I would like to say that my sister also took a ton and I am currently, yet patiently, waiting on her to email those to me as well. The ones we took using her camera should prove to be hilarious (TARGET PRACTICE!). While I am waiting for my pictures to load I'm sure I can kill time by babbeling about my holiday so far.

Christmas was low key, which was great. Presents should not be the focus of the season. We told mom to not get anything for anyone and for once she listened! It was great! She then felt bad when we gave her some small gifts, but at least she listened to our pleas to just relax for once. We spent Christmas morning at our house and mom and Nat came over for breakfast. Ayron made "Dad's Famous Pancakes" and our homemade bacon. It was good! We then managed to spend close to 5 hours together and not kill each other. That is proof you are getting older. When you can and want to spend 5 hours with your sibling! Christmas night was spent at the in-laws with Ayron's family. We also convinced them to have a low key Christmas as well. It was great. Of course the girls were spoiled, but grandma claims she scaled down!

The past week and a half has been great. Ayron's work schedule has been different due to the holidays so we are able to spend more time together and with friends. We even managed to build the changing table together yesterday without losing our patience for one another. I'm hoping we can tackle the dresser this afternoon! I have also realized that I have a ton to get around before I go on maternity leave.

I have 10 weeks until I'm "due." It's an odd thought. Frightening and thrilling all in one. I have hit my nesting stage WAY EARLY and am trying to not drive Ayron crazy. We pulled out all of the furniture and swept behind them and rearranged the living room. I managed to completly empty the "nursery" of the spare crap we've been procrastinating about.

For those of you who are visual, my photos have now loaded and you can see how I've spent my time away from work.

Baby Update

We had our "check up" ultrasound yesterday morning. The placenta has moved, but only about half of the way that it needs too. Anything is an improvement. Taylor is healthy, all fingers, toes, and appendages are accounted for. His brain is developing wonderfully. He is in the 95% size and development wise. He is now 3lbs4oz. The ultrasound tech is going to make a note on my file to have the Dr. look at my case and we might end up taking him a bit early.

I had the glucose test yesterday as well. I recommend the orange flavor. It tastes just like a Crush and it goes down easy. The lab tech was wonderful, I didn't feel a thing. It was great. Ever since then I have been craving nothing but sweets! The drink also had Taylor bouncing off the "walls" all day. He has finally settled down, but I did just drink a smoothie, so give him some time. I have my check up with the nurse mid-wife this afternoon so hopefully the blood work is back by then and we'll have some more answers.

This whole thing is and adventure, I'll give you that.

Man Up and Leave Your Name

I had an "anonymous" person leave a rather crass comment on a previous post I wrote about ADHD. I would normally just choose to either ignore the comment or delete it, but I have decided to take a different approach. Maybe by addressing it, I'll make it worse, who knows.

Anonymity has a place. Like the lovely associate at Home Depot who bought a washer for our cousin in need and chose to remain anonymous. That is cool. If you are going to disagree with someones opinion, man up and own your opinion. I was merely writing about my opinion. While I acknowledge that my opinion may not be shared by everyone, I am not going to tell a person they "are full of s&*^." and then not leave my name. So speak up, leave your name. Engage me in a lively debate, I don't care.

I recognize other opinions with open arms. I also am willing to end a debate with "Let's agree to disagree." So "man up," "grow a pair," and any other cliche you can think of.

No Wonder ADHD Is On The Rise!

I believe in ADD and ADHD. I also believe that in many people it is a learned behavior. They learn this behavior to help them cope with the stresses of college or life. I developed it and have been able to harness it and allow it to help me. I am getting better and I know what foods to avoid, but I am astounded at the skyrocketing rates of it in our students.

I will say now that I am not sold on the "Baby Einstein" products. I have watched a couple of them and I am wondering if they help teach our children to be ADD. Scoff if you want, but it is something I've wondered. The images flash so fast that I can't even focus and form a thought about one before a new one appears. Now little kids have "learning video games." Video games for 3 year olds? What happened to going out side and playing with the neighbors? A friendly game of kick ball or jailbreak? Seriously. And the television and computer have taken over as babysitters in some houses. Yes, I am guilty of coming home and plopping in front of the tube, but I've begun to change those ways and by doing so, Ayron has too.

Last night we were at Meijer and you can pay to use a cart that has a tv screen in it for your children. There are enough situations going on while in store, why add to it by allowing your child to watch tv while you shop? Why not have your kids count apples as you bag, or start teaching letters, those types of activities.

We are overstimulating ourselves and our kids. Yes, I am able to chat, blog, talk on the phone and grade a math test all at once. Yes, I taught myself how to deal with several stimuli at once, but it's not always a good thing. It does make it really hard for me to focus when I have just one thing to do. Why are we over stimulating our kids? By the time they hit 1st grade they are almost expecting the classroom to be like home with several things going at once and no need to focus on one for a long period of time. No wonder our testing scores are down (although I'm not a fan of the testing either).

I vow to make/teach my children play outside, to make friends with the neighbor kids (if we have any), to read a book instead of watching tv, to use their imaginations to play instead of the video game system. Call me old fashioned, but I think it's the better alternative.

Snowmobile

My nieces are the proud owners of 2 4-wheelers. They made arrangements to pay their parents back out of their allowance and have those "paid off." They are responsible for the gas and other parts they may need.

The other day my oldest niece overheard a conversation between her father and one of his friends, C. Turns out C was approached about buying a snowmobile. He thought about it, but decided against it. The lady really wanted to sell the snowmobile because the family has fallen on hard times and the money would allow her to pay some bills and buy a few gifts for her 5 children.

After hearing the conversation, my niece approached her dad. "Dad, can we buy the snowmobile." She was told that they couldn't because of the cost. She shyly replied with, "Well, I have the $500 the lady needs for it. And this way she would get her money and we'd get a new toy." Turns out her and her sister (along with help from mom) have been stashing back some of the rabbit farm money for a "rainy/snowy day." After some convincing, and explaining (about the money) the girls bought their very own snowmobile. The funny thing, sure they are all excited about having a snowmobile, but they were more excited about helping the lady in need.

Blech, Shopping

I normally love to shop (insert your own joke here, I'll wait.....ok, ya done?). But for some reason, I don't care to right now. This is especially difficult considering it is the holiday season. We have decided to get one (maybe two) small gifts for each person on our list (10 people total). We keep putting the shopping off. Every year I think, "Yeah, this year I'll be one of those people that has everything bought before Halloween and wrapped before Thanksgiving." Hasn't happened yet, probably never will happen.

So why am I dreading this? I am looking forward to hanging out with friends and family. I like getting together and watching my nieces play (now on their very own snowmobile: cute story, think I blog that one next). It just doesn't feel like Christmas yet. Why not? There is a ton of snow out, lights are up, tree is decorated (at work anyways). Will it ever feel like Christmas this year?

Horrible Person or Horomones?

I have recently realized I am not immune to the pregnancy hormones. I have merely been suppressing them to keep everyone, mainly Ayron, happy. I have put up this "Everything is fine" front and I'm sick of it.

I have nothing to complain about. I am in semi-good health. Taylor is healthy. I shouldn't complain, but part of me years to let the truth out. I feel guilty because I know several people that are encountering pregnancy problems or are having troubles even conceiving. Yet, I push on with my confession.

I don't like being pregnant. I like knowing that I am supporting a life, I don't like the feelings that come along with it. Why do people do this multiple times? I have been putting on a fake face for Ayron most nights, but about two weeks ago I snapped. He came home to find me a mess. I finally just opened the flood gates and told him everything. How I had been feeling physically and emotionally. It caught him off guard. He has been so wonderful during this time and has been extra attentive the past two weeks now that the truth is out.

I just hate complaining about it to other people. Several people ask me how I'm feeling, etc. I've stopped saying, "Fine" and started telling the truth. Funny thing is, people don't want to hear the truth. They look at me like I'm some sort of horrible monster for saying that I do not care to carry another child. I am happy with one biological child. I want more children, but why should I have more (knowing how it makes me feel) when we can adopt a child that someone can no longer care for? I am big fan of adoption and we have talked about it and even have some orphanages picked out. When you tell people how you feel, the true story, they look at me and I know they are thinking, "What a horrible mom." I bed to differ.

How can you judge my mothering skills by how I feel now. My body has been through a lot in the past two years and now to add a pregnancy to the list. It needs a break. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of being a mother and all of that stuff, but the physical aspect of being pregnant no longer appeals to me. If you love being pregnant, great, good for you. It's not for me.

There, I feel better. I'm just sick of people looking at me funny when I say, "This is the only child I will give birth to." Several people (and I am guessing my aunt is thinking this) have said, "They are all different pregnancies and you can't compare one to the other." or "Don't say that, you know you'll have more." Yes, I know that I want and will have more children, but for right now, I am saying I am done after this one. Sure, maybe I'll change my mind, who knows. I'm not God, I'm not perfect. Maybe I will get pregnant again, who knows. All I am asking is for someone, when I say that this has been rough and I am done after Taylor, to acknowledge that it is hard and that they felt the same way. I know I'm not the only one out there who has felt this way. It is all hormones? I really don't think so, but then again, I'm not God, I don't know for sure.

Personal Protection Permit

Yesterday was our office Christmas party. We had a nice lunch and did a fun "white elephant" type gift exchange. To our surprise, our boss decided to get each of us a Christmas present.

The big joke is that in our office, my boss and I are in the minority. Most of our co-workers have their personal protection permits. They often go out to homes and do visits and thus must be armed. My boss and I tend to be office people and thus, haven't bothered with our permits yet. This year he decided to get everyone something we all could carry. If you want to see the weapon I got for Christmas, click here.

Needless to say, we all decided to pull our weapons on our boss as soon as we had them all unwrapped.

I've Been Elfed

My sister did this and so did a co-worker. I had some time to kill, so I thought I'd try it too.

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1359084512

Warnings

'Danger: Avoid Death' contest winner


By RON VAMPLE, Associated Press Writer Wed Dec 12, 6:22 PM ET

DETROIT - Words to live by, from a warning label on a small tractor: "Danger: Avoid Death." That warning was selected Wednesday as the winner of the 11th annual "Wacky Warning Label Contest," sponsored by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch. The contest is part of an effort to show the effects of lawsuits on warning labels.

Kevin Soave of Farmington Hills, a Detroit suburb, won the $500 grand prize for submitting the tractor's "Danger: Avoid Death" label.

The $250 second place was given to Carrianne, Jacob and Robby Turin of Greensburg, Pa., for a label they found on an iron-on T-shirt transfer that warns: "Do not iron while wearing shirt."
Richard Goodnow of Lancaster, Mass., earned the $100 third-place prize for a label on a baby stroller featuring a small storage pouch that warns: "Do not put child in bag."

Contest organizer Bob Dorigo Jones says the silly labels reflect how broken America's civil justice system is.

"Predatory lawyers know they can file ridiculous lawsuits against innocent product makers and blackmail them into a cash settlement — even in cases in which a user has ignored common sense," Dorigo Jones said in a statement Wednesday.

Honorable mention went to Cyndi LaMonde of Traverse City for a label on a letter opener that says: "Caution: Safety goggles recommended."

Ann Marie Young of Fillmore, N.Y., took the second honorable mention for a warning she found which cautions users: "The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing checks or any legal documents."

The group selected a list of finalists and listeners of WOMC-FM's Dick Purtan show chose the winners.


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What gets me is that you know people have done those dumb things and then sued because "It didn't say no to." Come on people. You complain when your coffee is cold, yet you sue when McDonald's actually gives you hot coffee. Go figure!

Candy Making

I have been trying to watch a lot less television lately. I average around 4-5 books a week and since I started this, reading has gotten old. I like reading, don't get me wrong. I just wanted a change of pace. I decided to try to pull Ayron into my plan for less television. We have been having a nightly Uno war. I will admit that I have been losing that battle. I'm sure Grandma Reese is laughing up in heaven because I have finally found someone who can beat me at my own game.

Last night we decided to try our hand at candy making. It was an experience to say the least. Earlier this week we already made reindeer noses. I don't know if those are what they called, but that's what I have decided to name them. They are the round pretzels with a melted hershey's kisses in the middle topped with an M&M. We became creative and used candy cane, regular, hot cocoa, cherry cordial, and dark chocolate kisses. They are yummy!

Last night we expanded our candy production to include two kinds of fudge (cookies-n-creme and walnut), truffles, and home made turtles. I think Ayron tasted three of everything. I'm surprised I had some left to bring to work with me today!

We have decided to open our own candy making business. We talked about it jokingly, but I would really enjoy that! If my dad was staying in the area, I'd be willing to go into business with him. I could do the candies and he could do the baking. That would really be fun........maybe I should go back to school for my pastry degree.........not a bad idea.

2 days and counting

Today makes day #2 of working from "home." Due to this lovely ice storm, the school district I work in closed. In Auburn it is just raining right now, but they say up north it is really bad. They are guessing that it will stop raining and start freezing soon. So I decided to spend another day working from "home."

I say "home" because I am currently up at Joshua Cup using the free wireless. I do have a list of things to do for work when I get home. I really need to start planning and delegating things for when I am gone. I need to make the SOP's for YIP. SOP's are our standard operating procedure manuals that describe how things are done, by who, and when. I also need to work on creating more work for a day student who is finishing his work quicker than I can grade it.

If I stay here and work I'll be more tempted to play games and read blogs. If I go home where I don't have wireless, I will be forced to actually work. Maybe I should go ahead and head home...or maybe I should play one game of pool.....

What a Year

It has been year and we are still amazed. For those of you who don't know, a year ago today my sister-in-law was hit by a semi (http://amrac.blogspot.com/2006/12/terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-day.html). It is amazing to look at her and know that she is here for a reason. She should have died, but she didn't. If you didn't know her before the accident, you would have no clue what she has been through. Her voice is still a bit off, but you can understand her and every day her speech improves.



It is also interesting to see how our family dynamic has changed. We don't take each other for granted. Not that we ever did, but we are more aware of each other now. I still have flashbacks of her lying in the ICU bed and those freak me out, but I have to remember how far she has come. I am constantly amazed by her and Him. He could have taken her, but He didn't and for that we are grateful.

Giving Them What They Wanted

* Let me state that I realize the oxymoron/paradoxical nature of this blog. I do not mean to promote what I am opposing. I just want to make a point, but in this certain situation, by making a point, I am partially doing what I object too.

Yesterday there was a mall shooting in Omaha. The shooter was a 19 year old male who had serious mental issues. I only watched about 10 minutes of the coverage that the morning shows were giving the event. A piece that I did see mentioned the suicide note the shooter left. In the letter he mentioned something about how his actions will make him famous. I think he should have written infamous, but that isn't my point.

Let's think about this. The shooter wanted to be famous, seeing no other way, he selfishly took the lives of innocent people and injured several others. He knew that his actions would send the media into a whirlwind of coverage about him and his life. Bam, he got what he wanted. The whole nation focused on him. This makes me think.

If the media didn't offer such "in depth" coverage of shooters who do acts of destruction similar to the mall shooting, would he have chosen to act this way to become "famous?" Why do we give shooters (school shootings, mall shootings, hostage holders, etc) so much power by putting their actions/words/thoughts/family on television? Aren't we merely playing into their game. They get what they wanted, publicity. Often times, they kill themselves to "insure" their names become "famous."

I am not saying that the media shouldn't care about the innocent bystanders, but do we really need to focus 2 hours of our morning shows on the shooter and their background? Why does the news focus on such bad situations? I know that in our day and age, the world is full of bad situations, I just wish the media coverage tried to balance the good with the bad. I know several parents who don't let their children watch the news because the coverage of such bad things gives their children nightmares. Case and point, I have a niece that once watched and interview of Elizabeth Smart (after she was home and safe) and since then she has been terrified that someone will break into their house and take her. This terrified her to the point that she would no longer sleep in her basement room. She now sleeps up stairs with her two sisters.

Why do we play into their game? I realize this blog post is giving the shooter "power" but I just wanted to throw my thoughts out there.

I Just Can't

I have discovered that lately I am unable to fully relax. This has begun to take a toll on my health, which is the last thing I need right now.

As I starred at the alarm clock at 3am this morning, I wondered if I have ever been able to fully relax? Is this something I've just recently acquired? If so, how to do I get rid of it?

I really don't want television anymore. There are a few shows I enjoy, but even lately, I have been so busy or mentally preoccupied I can't myself to sit and enjoy a show. My mind is always going. I am always making mental lists, along with physical lists, of things that need to be done at home or work. I am constantly bringing work home with me. In the beginning I didn't mind because I was racking up comp time for maternity leave, but now it's getting to me. I like my job, I don't mind doing the work, but I am wondering if me bringing it home is preventing me from relaxing.

If I sit in front of the television and solely watch television, I find myself thinking, "I could be doing this, or that, etc." I am a multi-tasker. Call it learned ADHD if you will.

I keep using television as my example, but it's not just television. I can't even just sit and read a book for fun anymore. I tried last night and all I kept thinking was, "I could be giving Scooter a bath, running the dishwasher, grading, cleaning, etc." The other day I sat down to attempt to start organizing things for Taylor's scrapbook and I felt guilty. Why was I taking time for myself when I had no clue what I was going to cook for dinner? Even doing my daily prayer drawings are becoming difficult. If I find myself doodling/praying for something in my life, I feel guilty because "surely someone else has it worse off than I do, so why am I praying for myself?"

I thought that by turning my mental lists into physical ones I could help the situation, but I made it worse. I have now become anal retentive (that phrase cracks me up) about my lists. I will go through and prioritize the things on my list. Then I will redo the list with specific times and details. I can't just write it down and be done. Why?

Maybe it's just a pregnancy hormonal thing, I don't know. What I do know is that it would be nice to just go home and enjoy Ayron's company tonight, but I already have a list of things to do.

Back to Basics

Ayron and I have decided to have a simple Christmas. Partly due to money, partly to escape the commericalism of the holiday.

Growing up I knew why Christmas was important, but when you are a kid, it is all about the presents. I always got flannel sheets, a brand new coloring book, and the biggest box Crayola had on the market. As I've grown up, I changed my requests for needs. Sure, I may want something, but do I really need it? Last year it was stuff for the house.

We aren't exchanging gifts on my mom's side of the family. None of us have things we really want/need. Ok, so we do, but our lives will go on without them. Sacrifice won't hurt us. I have decided to make a couple of small things for everyone though.

Our nieces told us not to buy them presents because they want us to save up so we can all go to Disney together. I don't think the three year old realizes what she is asking for. We are keeping it small.

I think after last year (My sister in law being in the hospital), we (well, at least me) really realized what it is supposed to be about. Family.

I must say that I am calmer this year. I am not frantically running around to save a dollar on the latest gizmo or toy. I am just looking forward to spending time with my family. It will be nice. Our family is ever expanding and changing, and being able to get together and share is better than any present I could get or give this year. I know, sounds fake doesn't it. I am being serious.