Is It Friday Yet?

Being out of the house (I run my program out of a house) on Monday has really messed up my week. Yesterday I thought it was Monday and today I'm already wishing it was Friday. Although it's not like we'll have a very relaxing weekend. At least it is a long one though. Ayron actually has Monday off!!

Friday we are getting ready for all of Saturday's projects. We need to go pick up a ton of #8 gravel and then a ton of river rock. Saturday we are replacing our sewer line. Which means ripping out the front flower bed, the three shrubs, large Hosta plant, and several other small plants. I am going to try to save as many of the plants as possible, but the shrubs I don't really care about.

Sunday will be spent relandscaping and seeding the front yard. We do have our traveling meal cook out in the afternoon so that is a ray of light at the end of a tunnel. Hopefully Monday we can spend some time relaxing together and enjoying a day off.

Anyone have cool plans for the long weekend?

We Made CNN

Ayron's Relay for Life made CNN.com!!

Conflict

I am not one to enter into conflict. I don't like it. Heck, I avoid it if I can. I now have to create a conflict. I have to deal with a very stressed out family and inform them that their child is no longer allowed in my program. I am sure that I will be yelled at, at the very least. I know that most of the anger is not at me, but it gets directed at me. I just hate taking the blame for others actions. This should not be a fun phone call or report to write.

Evolution of Scooter

This was Scooter at Christmas time.
Another Christmas shot, although I probably should add a black bar across his manly region.
Scooter stealing a ball from Nina and Stella.
Scooter eating snow.
Scooter watering the snow. I like this shot because it shows his length. You can thank mom for her timing!
This was Scooter at puppy class. Another cool shot by mom!

My First Mocha

I am not a coffee drinker. Everyone I know is, I am not. I decided that I needed a pick me up today so I stopped by Brew Daily this morning and saw Sara and Leah for a fix.

I decided to get a peppermint white chocolate mocha, but with only a 1/2 a shot of espresso. It was yummy. While I didn't get a big buzz (why should I have? I only had 1/2 a shot) it was yummy.

I think I found my new Friday morning drink.

Disappointment

Growing up we usually have at least one person we look up to. We not only look up to them and make them our role model, but some people might even idolize them. So what happens when you grow up and realize that person you've admired all your life is just that, a person? Growing up we know they are people (in the biological way) but we tend to idolize them. We put them on a pedestal and think they can do no wrong.

But then we grow up and we realize that they are just humans and they falter like everyone else. So why am I so disappointed at my person. I know she is a human, I know she makes mistakes. So am I upset because she made a mistake or at the fact of what the mistake entailed? Or am I simply upset because I realize that I am now and adult who is capable of realizing the faults in people? Maybe I secretly long for my childhood when my person was my "idol."

Changes

My uncle and I were chatting yesterday and the idea that change, for some people, can be extremely difficult. I don't consider myself one of those people. However, I do know that I can get stuck in ruts and I allow those ruts to swallow me. I tend to not ask for help. I know that i am not Wonder Woman, but I like to think of myself as being fairly independent.

After thinking about our chat all night, something kept ringing in my head (no, I didn't lose my hearing at STOMP). T, my uncle, said something about how even just changing the furniture arrangement can be a frightful change. I have been feeling the grasps of a major rut at work. I try not to ruffle feathers because my programs are tied to many other programs and individuals. I needed a change but not a big change. I didn't want the ripples of my stone to affect too many people.

So I decided to rearrange my office. It needed to be cleaned and have the floor swept, so as I had the couch pulled out, I thought, what the heck. I realized half way through my effort that I would need help making sure all of the cords were plugged into the right places. My boss to the rescue. My quick 5 minute change turned into a 30 minute straightening wire/cord fest. It is done now and I like it. I feel like I have more room and it's more relaxing. Although now that I look around the room, I realize that my cork board is crooked and that bug me until I fix it.

Where did I put my level?

Theater Etiquette

Last night we went and saw STOMP and it was fantastic. There were so many things that I had forgotten about. It was just as fun to watch Ayrons face as it was to watch the performers.

I did come to a realization though. People lack basic theater etiquette. TURN OFF YOUR FREAKIN CELL PHONE. The performers literally stopped the show and glared at the owner of the ringing phone. If nothing else, VIBRATE people.

Also, to the extremely drunk lady who sat 3 seats to my left. I'm glad you enjoyed the performance, but your constant screaming and "yeah baby" "mohawk" "woah" did get annoying. I'm glad you had a good time, but give it a rest. She was like that annoying person on a live CD who at the slightest hint of a pause will start yelling "YEAH" in hopes of hearing themselves on the CD when it is released. Oh yeah, while I do agree that the performer with a mohawk was not hard on the eyes, I'm pretty sure calling him (well yelling at him) "MOHAWK HOTTIE!" is not the applause he would like.

To the couple that walked into the performance with only 20 minutes of the show left. GET A WATCH. If you only show up for the last twenty minutes and do decide to find your seat. Don't tell everyone that you are shimmying past why you are late.

Maybe these are rules that I learned because I was lucky enough to grow up in theater. My dad acts in local plays and we were season ticket holders for The Embassy. I guess I just thought those things were common knowledge. Don't annoy those around you. Apparently I was wrong.

Don't get me wrong. I had a wonderful time. I would go see it again tonight if I could.

TONIGHT!!!!

I am so excited about tonight. It's been a long time since I've seen STOMP and Ayron never has.

Weekend Randomness

"Are you sure?" - Said to Ayron when he looked at me and said, "Will you buzz my hair?" I did.

"D.O.N.S." - Joe will understand this one.

"Uhh. You dropped this."- Said by some freaky guy who tried to pass his number to L as we
were walking out of the store. It was his name and number written on
a chunk of cardboard.

"No I didn't." - Said by L in response to freaky guy's comment.

"I feel like making love." - Said by lead guitarist in a band we watched Saturday night.

"Dude, looks like you've done enough of that already." - Said by a singer in the band as he
pointed to guitarist VERY pregnant wife.

"They are doing what?" - Said by me when I realized that motorcycles were being driven
through the bar. If you've never experienced Cricket's during CycleFest
I suggest you try it. I had never been to Crickets before and Ayron had
to go to fix a tent that was falling down. They literally drive motorcycles
from the backdoor of the bar, through the bar (which is VERY narrow)
and out the front door onto 7th street.

"Guys, we have to be quiet. The sheriff just lives across the street." - Said by me to J and K as
we jumped in the moon walk in our backyard at midnight. Yes, we set up
a moon walk and had 4 people over to jump in it. It was pretty fun.

"One Uncle + One Aunt + 3 hyper active nieces + 1 moon walk = 1 Aunt with twisted knee." -
That one pretty much explains itself right there.

"I'm going to pretty school." - Said by my youngest niece. She is going to preschool, but she
thinks it's called "pretty school."

Summer Reading

So I started my summer reading list a little early. I realized today, when trying to decide which book to bring to work, that I have started 3 books. I am almost done with Power Source: Taking Charge of Your Life. I started reading this one for work. The book is actually geared towards juveniles in the "system." I am hoping to adapt it and use it in the after school program. I am also reading The Four Seasons of Marriage. I am finding this book very predictable. I am really only a quarter of the way through the book and I am hoping that his thoughts become more profound. I also started That Crazy Little Thing Called Love. This book I like. I'm only a chapter into it, but so far I like it. It mixes the lyrics of "modern" love songs with Biblical stories to make it's point. Did you know that Eric Clapton wrote "Wonderful Tonight" while waiting for his wife to settle on an outfit?

I will admit that when I opened my amazon.com box and had all of the books out on the table Ayron panicked. He asked me, "What's with all the marriage books?" I assured him that nothing was wrong, I just wanted to read all of them. Heck, he's even started reading All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten.

Chap Stick

This was forwared to me, and while I am not a mother (yet) I did find it funny.


Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.

We have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 yearsold and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves chapstick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my chapstick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chapstick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it rightback in the drawer when he was done.

Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready for Church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.

We finally have the older one and and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my chapstick very carefully to Jack, the cat's, . . . rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right---their little bottoms do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind. And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth.

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures,there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chapstick on the cat's butt.

Summer...Is it here yet?

About two weeks, I realized that my usually spring antsy feeling hadn't kicked in yet. Yesterday, it did. I can't wait for summer to get here. I don't want to leave my day students. We have finally started to gel together as a group. It is really fantastic to watch one ask the other one, "Would you mind if I read your story?" Not only did he read the story, he helped the student edit and proof read the work. He wanted to make sure that his friend turned in a perfect piece of work. They, wait, correction, WE play hackie at lunch. I give up my lunch break to sit with them during theirs. It's amazing what they will tell you when you meet them on their level. As much as I get stressed, it's moments like those that make it worth it. I know that once the end of May hits, the students will go their separate ways. One will head off to a detention center for a couple of weeks. One will get a job. I'm sure a couple of them will get back into trouble.

As much as I am antsy, I don't want them to go.

Ticked Off Parent Day

Today must be "Ticked Off Parent Day" and no one informed the teacher. It's only 9am and if I smoked (which I never have and never will) I would have gone through a pack by now!

I have one family that is mad because I informed them that their son has been removed from my program for 4 rule violations. 3 of those violations being MAJOR violations and one being a minor one. They, meaning the dad, decided the best way to deal with me is through force and intimidation, lets just say that his method didn't work!

Another family is mad at me because their 12 year old tested positive for THC at a very high level. It was a random drug screen of everyone in the program. I did not single their child out, and when you enroll your child in my program, you give your permission (it is in the handbook and paperwork) for me to do random drug screens. They also decided to let me know that they are not happy with me. I wouldn't be happy with the child, but hey, that's just my thinking.

Just pray that this week will not be as bad as last week. I can see summer break, and while the light at the end of the tunnel is getting closer, it still seems so far away.

I'm Sorry

I want to make a "public" apology to a friend of mine that I know I have offended this week. This friend happened to catch me at the wrong time and I snapped. I had no reason to snap at this friend, they were there, and unfortunately, I took my problems out on them. For that I am sorry.

R U Kidding Me?

"Sumo baby : University student sumo wrestlers attempt to make babies cry during the "Baby-cry Sumo," an annual contest which is supposed to bring good health, at Tokyo's Sensoji temple in Tokyo.(AFP/Toshifumi Kitamura) "

Stronger Than You Think

I decided to start working on my summer reading list this weekend. I was reading the review of books in Today's Christian Woman and I came across an excerpt from Stronger Than You Think by Kim Gaines. Here is the excerpt.

"Our hope is that, despite our messy lives and our inability to live perfectly, we have a Savior who has already made us whole. In Christ, we are being restored and healed. And even though we may not feel whole, wholeness is ultimately not about our feelings. Isn't that a relief? If I rely on my feelings to tell me whether or not I am whole, then my 'wholeness' is likely to change with each success and failure. But wholeness is not based on subjective feelings. Rather, wholeness begins and ends with our hope in Christ and who we are in him. The reality is that, even if our feelings lead us to believe otherwise, Christ has already restored and healed us in relationship to himself - so at the root of our very being he has already made us whole."

That passage struck me. I had been talking to friend about my walk with God and how I wasn't feeling very whole. I thought that if I spent more time in the Word and more quiet time with God, the wholeness would come back. Then I realized the truth of the idea that the feeling of wholeness will change based on the point in my walk. Needless to say, Stronger Than You Think is now on my summer reading list. Any other suggestions for my list? I would like to finish Blue Like Jazz as well. I have a horrible habit of starting several books and only finishing a couple of them.

Great Weekend

We had a great weekend! Friday night we layed low and just relaxed.

Saturday night we went to Fort Wayne with Kianne and Jake. Kianne is an old friend of mine that I have recently reconnected with and Jake is her significant other. It was great that Jake and Ayron decided to ride together in one car and let Kianne and I ride together in the other car. Kianne and I are hoping that our "boys" will become as close as we are. We went to a nice dinner at Triangle Park and laughed at all of the prom people eating dinner. I actually saw some of my former students from my student teaching days. We then went to the mall and started ring shopping for Kianne. It was really cool that Jake, a normally private and shy guy, wanted Ayron and I around for this. I think he just used me as a go between for him and Kianne. One of those middle school situation, "When you went to the bathroom what did she say about ring #1, etc." It was fun though and great to hang out with them again.

Sunday we slept in. For me sleeping in is staying in bed till 7:30. I remember Ayron getting up around 8 to take care of Scooter. Next time I looked at the alarm clock with was 11:30! I still can't believe I slept that long! We managed to mow mom's yard as well as ours, play some catch, and take Scooter for a walk.

It may not seem like a very productive weekend, but it was just what I needed. The end of the school year is in sight and sometimes I think I am more antsy then they kids!

"Bring The Rain"

I had a rough day yesterday and was ready to pack it all up and just take off for awhile. Not to run away forever, just long enough to get some perspective on things. As I was driving the work van to go meet with a school for the millionth time, I had to wait because a transformer was on fire. Everything was going wrong. I changed the radio station to WBCL and heard the following song. It hit me. Then again this morning, as I was grumbling about my tasks for the day, the same song came across my yahoo music. I get it God, you can stop beating me over the head through song.

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray
Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Coming to an end

This academic year has flown by. There were times when it felt like it was dragging on. But two of the schools I work will will be done the 24th in May and the other school a couple of days after that.

I know that a lot of kids have come and gone through the program and I'd like to think that we were able to positively impact all of them, but I am a realist. I wonder how many of this kids I'll see next school year or in the after school program?

I sometimes wonder if I could make more of an educational impact if I did work in a traditional classroom in a traditional school with traditional students. Don't get me wrong, even though I moan and groan a lot, I really do like my job. I just want to be one of those "great" teachers that students remember and I don't know if I can do that here.

Maybe it's just the stress of the day talking. I had one student not show. We think we know where he is, but no one from his family will return our calls. I also had to go to court this morning to pick up a new student. I think I'll just go home and take a nap and pretend that today went ok and that everyone learned and had a good day.

Congrats

Congrats goes out to my sister, "Sister Natalee." She was accepted into the convent today. I'm not Catholic so I don't know if I'm even using the politically correct terms, but as my friend put it, "So she's in the nunnery?!"

* I can't find the picture of us doing the "Charlie's Angel's" Nuns, so this one will have to do.

What the heck?

I am a big fan of music, all types. I always have music playing in my office. Lately I've been using yahoo music to fulfill my need for musical noise in the background of my work day. I started the player this morning and next to the song, is a picture of the album cover. I was appauled.

The current song is being sung by Ashley Tisdale. For those of you who do not have children, nieces, or do not watch Saturday morning cartoons, she is an actor on the Disney show "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody." On the album cover she looks like she is sending in her photo to Playboy. Since when did Disney let their "people" start acting and dress many years older than they actually are?

This seems to be an ongoing thing in our society. Heck, part of "Boston Legal" last night focused on the issue. Why are companies marketing mature toys to kids? Am I the only one that thinks that the Bratz dolls look like prostitutes?

Maybe I'm the only one bugged by this, but come on?! No wonder kids are growing up way to fast and doing things way to early in life. It's being pushed at them with their toys and Disney shows.

We Did It!!

Scooter officially graduated from "puppy class" last night. I'm going to give him the month off and then look into enrolling him into the "advanced puppy class." I don't expect him to be the best behaved dog in the world, but I would like him to be well mannered and not go psycho when we have people over.

Obituary

Obituary of the late Mr Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are incharge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year old boycharged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to astudent; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and donothing.

Lets Go Fly A Kite...

...Up to the highest height. Let's go fly a kite And get sun burn, eh, err, opps.

Ayron and I met up with 4 of our friends yesterday to fly kites and play tennis. After several failed attempts at getting my stunt kite (it is a sphere) to fly, I decided to just lay on the hill and enjoy the beautiful weather. We ended up just laying around in the beautiful sunshine for some time. On the way home I realized, I got burnt! I now have a lovely set of lobster arms and a red face. My face calmed down over night and my usual make up routine (which isn't much) managed to cover it up.

Despite the sunburn, it was a glorious day to be with friends and enjoy the weather.

This One's For Nathan

This is bizarre - after you find the guy - it's so obvious. Once you find him - it's embarrassing, and you think, Why didn't I see him immediately?

Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, your right half of your brain is better developed than most people. If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, your right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein. If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!!! And, yes, the man is really there!!!

Relay For Life

It is spring time, and you know what that means. RELAY FOR LIFE!! This year Ayron is the co-chair of Noble county's events. We are putting together a team to help us walk. If you're not familiar with the concept, the goal of each team is to have at least one member walking on the track at all times. The "race" begins Saturday morning (May 19th) (I'm not sure what time) and goes until Sunday morning. Ayron and I will be there the entire weekend making sure things run smoothly. We are going to set up a tent area for our "team" and we are currently trying to find people willing to walk with us.

If you would be willing to walk for us, please let Ayron or myself know. It is a great cause, and Noble county currently has more teams scheduled to walk than ever before. I ask that you seriously consider coming out, even if it is just for an hour, and walking. I will gladly walk with you. It is a great way for kids to expel energy. There will be tons of other event going on (Karaoke- Hint Hint Hint to Kym D.), games, inflatables, food, etc. We all know someone who has been effected by cancer. Please honor their life by walking with us.

Ayron and I thought it would be really cool if the "gang"(Quest) from New Hope would come out after church on Saturday and keep us company through the night. So if you're ready to pull an all nighter like we all have done in the past, just let me know.

I Got A Brand New Hair Do

So I decided to get a brand new 'do yesterday. Thanks to Sara at Shear Expressions, I look totally different. It is short, maybe not short by any other persons definition, but for me it is. It is all flippy and really cute. Oh yeah, and I dyed it a really dark auburn brown color.

I walked in the door at home last night and Ayron didn't recognize me. Sara dried, styled, and curled my hair before I left. It was nice to spend some time on me.

My students are totally gonna flip when they see it, but that it kind of what I was going for. I think it worked.


*****

So it's later in the day, and I realized that the only people who noticed my hair were males. Typically males are the less observant sex. My male student went, "Wow! Cool hair!" I went to my other office and my secretary and office assistant didn't notice. But my totally non observant boss (I'm not kidding. You could be dying on his desk and the odds of him noticing you are slim) went, "I think you look different. I don't know why, but I like it."

VT

Yesterday a gun man killed 32 people on the Virginia Tech campus, and wounded many others. The event has become a world wide news story. It got the whole world thinking about school security, but it really got those of us who work in schools thinking.

Granted, I don't teach in a traditional public school setting. I get the rough of the rough. I am their last hope. By the time they come to me, they are sick of "the system" because it has only ever failed them. They are discouraged and ready to give up. They often have anger issues and they are at the end of their rope. With the rise in school violence, why do people still go into education? Let alone, willingly work with the worst of the worst? I know why I do it.

Someone has to care for these kids. They have been hurt by the system and have given up. I want them to know that I am not "the system." I am different. I will do whatever it takes to help them succeed.

I think we all need to pray for the victims and their families of the Virginia Tech shooting, but also for those who have been forgotten. The students that I work with on a daily basis. Let's not forget to pray for those who are on the edge and could break, they need our prayer too.

Old Mule

This was sent to me by my sister and I thought it was hilarious.

An old farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began harrassing him again.

Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.

So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.
The old farmer said: "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."
"And what about the men?" the minister asked.
"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."

Nikki Update

Hey yall. I decided that it was time to do another Nikki update. For those of you who don't know the situation, here is a Readers Digest version of the story.

Nikki, my sister in law, was in the wrong place at the wrong time. When another driver (turns out to be a family friend) pulled out in front of an oncoming semi, the semi swerved, jack knifed, crossed the center line and struck Nikki's car. Nikki was in ICU for 2 1/2 weeks, and in the hospital just over a month. She has had several struggles, but through it all, her attitude has always been positive.

After consulting with the attorney about the nasty letter sent by the semi's insurance company, they think the letter was meant to go to L (the person who caused the accident). She continues to do physical therapy several times a week, and her posture and balance are always improving. She did pass her driving test (in downtown Ft. Wayne!) and the doctors cleared her to drive. She does minimal driving, but she can get herself to appointments and stuff like that. The odds of her being able to go back to driving her school bus are unknown at this point. The BMV may see her fit to drive, but the school district has the final say. Since she is not working she has spent a great deal of time creating the family's new hobby. The "Country Meadow Rabbitry." The whole family, including myself, has a bunny. Her vision is still not back to where it was before the accident. She still wears a prism lens in the right side of her glasses. She had lost about 40 pounds since the whole ordeal. On the bright side of the whole thing, it has brought us all closer together as a family. Oh, and she was awarded Spencerville's Volunteer Fire Fighter of the Year award. This officially makes it the "Shull" department. Her husband, Phil, won for the year of 2005 and now she is the 2006 winner.

Thanks for keeping her and us in your prayers. Your words of encouragement, prayers, cards, thoughts, food, etc have been a big help!

Disappointment

Recently I was talking with a close friend. This friend told me something they had done and I was disappointed. Not a big deal you're thinking. Well, here is why it is odd. I have several friends who have done this same thing, are still doing this same thing, and will probably continue to do this same thing. I don't get disappointed with those friends for that, so why did I feel my heart hit the floor when this friend told me that? Do I hold my friends to different standards?

Am I disappointed because I held this friend's standard high, and they failed (in my eyes)? It is because they should know better? Was is because they sounded proud of themselves for it? Is it because they did something we swore (several years ago) that we would NEVER do? I haven't had that sense of disappointment in a long time. I felt so let down, betrayed, whatever. I think they could tell by the sound of my voice. I'm afraid that if I vocalize my emotions to this friend, they will think that I am trying to mother them, which I am not. They have a mom, I don't need to be one. But how do I be a friend when I feel so betrayed.

AN OPEN LETTER TO MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE

IF YOU ARE A MALE, IGNORE THIS BLOG POST NOW.

By continuing to read this blog you are acknowledging that you are a female. Guys, this is your last chance to leave. I'm warning you. Especially single guys. Really, I'm serious. Can't say I didn't warn you.

February 6, 2007

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core, orDri-Weave absorbency, I 'd probably never be able to go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I 'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can 't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing
there 's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I 'm guessing you haven 't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I 'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it 's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her husband's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey 's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness, actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you 're some kind of sick freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don 't march down to the local Wal-greens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of all that is good, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that 's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending crap. And that 's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best regards,
Wendi Aarons

WARNING!!!

This is a warning for all of you that SCUBA dive.......

NEVER

NEVER

NEVER

NEVER

NEVER

Fart in your wet suit

Merry Christmas To Me!!

So I was out and about doing my normal Thursday morning errands. I had an extra stop and was trying to rush back to work with a student on her Algebra. When I walked into my office, my boss was sitting in my chair. Panic set in. Why was he here? He never comes over? What did I do wrong? Turns out he was bringing me a present!

About a month ago I had mentioned briefly that my copier had decided to stop printing on both sides and with all of the copies I have to make, a lot of paper was being wasted. I called a couple of places for a quote, but all of the quotes were way to outrageous. Keeping in mind that I work for a not for profit organization, I decided to just write a grant and hope to get the money for next school year. My boss managed to talk our copier tech guy down and I now have a new copier. It looks so out of place in my computer lab. All shiny and new, sitting next to older than dirt computers on warped tables.

Hopefully next Friday when I met with a grant committee they too will notice our pathetic computer lab and give me some money to buy some new equipment.

Here's Charlie

It Stinks!

As I was driving into work, thru the thick fog, something hit me. No, I didn't have a revelation or profound thought. A nasty smell hit me, and I did not create the smell. The closer I got to work, the worse the stench got. When I got out of my car and started walking into my office, I realized that the entire town of Angola stinks today. It smells like one big giant flatulent with a hint of greasy McDonalds fries.

I don't expect anyone to really care, because I'm pretty sure no one else from Angola reads this, but my goodness does the town stink today.

The Ron Clark Story

Ayron and I have a netflix subscription and we try to alternate movies according to our tastes. I added "The Ron Clark Story" to our list. We watched the movie yesterday and Ayron got into more than I thought he would. It was a wonderful and inspiring movie, and not just for teachers. Just thought I'd plug it!

Switchfoot Day

I have a couple of cd's that I play while I'm at work. This morning, I started my rotation with Switchfoot's "Beautiful Letdown" cd, and for some reason these two songs won't get out of my head. I guess it's time to hit my knees and figure out why.

"On Fire"
They tell you where you need to go
They tell you when you'll need to leave
They tell you what you need to know
They tell you who you need to be

But everything inside you knows
There's more than what you've heard
There's so much more than empty conversations
Filled with empty words

And you're on fire
When He's near you
You're on fire
When He speaks
You're on fire
Burning at these mysteries

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything You are
Give me one more chance to be... (near You)

Cause everything inside me looks like
Everything I hateYou are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I'll take
When I'm on fire
When You're near me I'm on fire
When You speak
And I'm on fire

Burning at these mysteries
These mysteries...I'm standing on the edge of me

I'm standing on the edge of everything
I've never been before
And i've been standing on the edge of me
Standing on the edge

And I'm on fire
When You're near me
I'm on fireWhen You speak(Yea)
I'm on fire
Burning at these mysteries... these mysteries... these mysteries
Ah you're the mystery
You're the mystery


"24"
Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs

At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You

And I'm not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You

Twenty four reasons to admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong
See I'm not copping out not copping out not copping out
When You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now

And You're raising these twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts
But I want to be one today
Centered and true

I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising the dead in me

I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a causeI'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in meTwenty four voicesWith twenty four heartsWith all of my symphonies In twenty four parts.I'm not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out.

Worry

I've always been a worrier. Maybe it comes from my need to have everyone happy or my need for everything to be perfect, either way, it can take its toll on me. A while back I had decided to try to worry less. I no longer wear a watch, which helps. But I still find myself worrying about little stupid stuff. What if I don't get the refreshments set up on time for my meeting tomorrow, that sort of thing. No one would notice if the food isn't ready to go by noon because half of the people don't show up till 12:15. So why do I worry about stupid things? What kind of things do you worry about?

Good for the community...

but bad for me. I no longer have any students in the after school program. While that is a good thing (it means the kids are staying out of trouble) it makes my program look bad because for the second time in less than one year we are temporarily closing the program. I still have my day program, and I have plenty to keep me busy, but it will be weird to not have the kids come in at 3:30 and spend 1/2 an hour chatting with them about their life.

Remembering Part II

This is a continuation of yesterday's blog. If you haven't read that, I'd read that first.

I talked to several friends about yesterdays blog and turns out, I'm not alone. Several people have felt the way I felt. While I was chatting with one friend in particular, I started to really think about why I felt the way I felt. It hit me, I never had the chance to voice my thoughts to "him." While I have no clue where he is at, and I don't ever care to see "him" again, I do have some things to say to "him." I was responded to a message that a friend sent me through VIRB (it's way better than myspace and a lot easier to use) and it hit me. I just need to write what I would say to "him" if I had the chance. So here goes nothing.

I don't know why you thought you could string me along for 4+ years and not hurt me. Do you not realize that your thoughtless actions effect others around you? You kept me hanging on to you for years, while in your mind I was merely a back up plan. You knew that I'd always be there for you when things fell through with who ever the heck you were chasing at the time. When you did give me the time of day and we "dated" I was ecstatic. I should have known better. I knew how you worked, yet I thought "this time will be different." I was wrong. I thought you realized who your true friends were when you left and I was the only one who wrote to you, and the only one who was still willing to hang out with you when you came back. I should have known better, I really should have, but I was caught up in the moment. That night you came over, I was in heaven, you were home and I thought you were mine. I thank God that K called that night. She didn't realize it till 5 years later, but she saved me from doing something I'd regret for the rest of my life. As much as I hated you, I realize now that I do need to thank you. I thank you for treating me like crap. May sound funny, but I thank you. You're crappy treatment made me appreciate Ayron all the more. I didn't know that guys could be nice without having a hidden agenda. You made me strong. When you left, I learned that I could stand on my own two feet. I learned how to have fun, and hang out with other friends. I learned how not to depend on a guy to make myself feel good. I learned to stand by my values and not let anyone compromise them. I also learned that Mrs. C's advice does work. "A nice knee jerk to the groin will help you get your point across." So thank you. You taught me a lot about myself. I will never let myself get into a situation like that again. I now know that I deserve to be appreciated and I have found someone who does that. So thank you. Without our crappy relationship behind me, I never would have accepted the date with Ayron and I wouldn't be where I am at right now. Just don't come crawling back to me when this relationship goes sour like your first marriage. I truly hope you are happy because I am.

Remembering

I found out two weeks ago that my first "boyfriend" got married. For some reason, I struggled with that concept. My thinking requires some prefacing, so stick with me. Keep in mind that I LOVE AYRON and I am TOTALLY happy with him and he is who I was meant to be with and I never want that to change, but with that in mind, here we go.

I meet "him" my 8th grade year and I thought we were going to be friends. When I hit high school and saw him every day (he was a year older than I was), I was in heaven. I thought he was the one. He strung me along, off and on for 4 years. Back then, I didn't know any better and I desperately wanted him to like me. We had our brief fling, but he quickly moved on when I refused to do more (if you get my drift). I still see him around, mostly during the fair, but I haven't spoken to him in over 4 years. I'm pretty sure he has some issues, either emotional or mental. Looking back now, he caused me so much unneeded pain and suffering.

If he hurt me so bad, why did I feel the way I felt when I found out? It's not like I want him back, heck no! But it was odd to think that he actually married someone else. I was talking to a friend of mine about it and he said, "You always think your first boyfriend is yours. Even after you break up. Weather or not you realize it, you always hold a piece of them." I don't know if I agree or disagree.

If I had those 4 years to do over, I wouldn't torture myself. I do always have a piece of him with me though, the lessons he taught me about myself. I realized that I am strong and that I will not let anyone manipulate me like he did, so I guess in that regard, he is always with me. I am wonderfully in love with Ayron, which is why it was weird to have the reaction I had when I found out that "he" was getting married. Am I alone in my feelings? Has anyone else felt like this?

Crazy Monday

Last week was Spring Break so I had a lazy week. I took two days off and then worked the rest of the time. I thought I had prepared myself for returning to work with students this week, but boy was I wrong. It's only 12:30, but the day has already been crazy!

One of my students was put on actual home detention over spring break, so he has a lovely anklet and box to carry around and I have daily forms to complete on him.

One student who we thought would leave (he turned 18) actually showed up.

One student managed to get himself locked up.

One teacher in the night program called in for tonight, so I had to cancel the night program.

My day trip for training was turned into an over nighter (cool by me, I don't have to pay for it).

I totally forgot I had a grant that is due this week and I just started it this morning.

I wish I could take a real vacation. Go to an island where no one can contact me (I can contact them, but only if I really want to) and just veg for a week.

Administrative Crap

I have been working on rearranging my evening staff for about two weeks now. I know that I will have an intern this summer and I wanted to add another teacher so that no one was over loaded working more than they really wanted. I have four interviews for 1 position. I talked to my boss this morning and we decided on a candidate, but I had the unfortunate task of calling the others. That was hard for me. They all were lovely people, and any one of them would be excellent here in our program, but the one we hired just stood out a little more. She sent a thank you note in the mail, the same day of her interview!

I'd much rather do the teaching than all of this administrative stuff. I do realize that it does give me excellent experience and that after working this job, teaching in a public school system again should be a breeze!

Last Saturday

Ayron and I attend New Hope in Waterloo on Saturday nights. Nathan blogged about something exciting happening at church. I was all excited and let's just say that my excitement was justified. We had a violinist. A violinist. It was awesome! It was a young man, I'm guessing around 16 or 17ish. A violinist is rare, but a young male violinist is even rarer. It truly was a moving worship service. I loved watching the drama unfold, and while I know the drama (my husbands in it) I was still moved by watching the performance. I truly felt the presence of God in the building. It was just what I needed. I found myself getting lost in worship, and being truthful, that hasn't happened for me in a long time. It's when I get lost in worship that I truly listen to what God has to say to me and I'm open to receive His words.

The sermon was just as wonderful. I have an "undo" button and it is so awesome to truly realize that. I had felt like a major screw up lately, but later that night I found myself using my "undo" button during prayer with Him. It is truly refreshing to get lost in worship and then use your "undo" button.

I'm getting chills right now just thinking about the worship. I may just have to order a cd. It was truly awesome and I hope the violinist plays again this weekend.

I Love Froggy!

The local radio station, Froggy 106.7, has started a new thing called "Froggy on the Hop Prize Drop." They give clues as to where they will be. If you find them, you get a prize. I knew that they were going to be in Kendallville on Wednesday, so I drug Leah with me to Kendallville to eat lunch with Ayron. We listened to the radio and figured out that Chris Cord was in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Leah and I were the first ones there. We pulled up next to the Froggy car and Chris asked us what prize we wanted. We both got 2 tickets to see STOMP when it comes to Ft. Wayne in May! YEAH!!!!! We immediately called Ayron, and he pulled in. He got some Arby's food and 4 passes to a Wizards game.

I'm more excited about the STOMP tickets. I've seen it, but it was many years ago. I can't wait to take Ayron, Leah, and who ever Leah brings to the show. I can't wait till May 15 at 8pm. YEAH FOR ME!!!

Internal Monologue

It's a good thing that we have an internal monologue that no one else can hear. If it were made audible, I would stick my foot in my mouth on a daily basis, more so than I already do.

I have experienced failure in something I have been striving for, only to discover that a friend of mine has experienced success. While I am genuinely excited for my friend, I can't help but be hurt. I've struggled and failed, they hardly put forth any effort and have succeeded. It's frustrating. I don't know if the battle to succeed is more exhausting or if it is the battle to not be mad at those who have succeeded. It's not their fault they succeed the first time and I'll have to try again. It's just frustrating.

I'm So Far Behind

So I went over to my other office early today. I had an interview at 2, so I got there at 1:45. The office assistant started messing around with my new work phone. When I came out of my interview, I had discovered that she had transferred songs from her phone to mine. When I asked her how, that's when I discovered the power of bluetooth. So, thanks to Brooke, I have some new ring tones. So, if you have any songs or ring tones you wanna share, let me know!

Church Photos

So Ayron and I had our appointment to have our picture taken for the church directory. Just by having our picture taken we get a free 8x10 and a free directory. We sat and looked at our proofs and then listened to the speal the lady had about the different packages and what not. We were curious, so we asked. Just to have 3 additional 5 x 7's retouched was going to be $100! I tried not to act shocked, and we graciously said "No thank you." Was my shock uncalled for? Am I a cheapskate?

Expanding Our Family Part II

@ Todd- No, I am not getting a tree sloth. Sorry.

@ Michael- No, it's not a reptile.

@ Natalee- No, it's not a cat. We can't have cats because Joellen is highly allergic to them.

Here are some more clues.

1.) He will only get to be about 5 lbs.
2.) He does have whiskers.
3.) He can't be shown because his ears are too far back on his head.

Nothing New

While I have nothing new to report, nor anything profound to write, I feel like writing. Maybe it's the English degree in me.

Work is just as stressful as ever, yet I'm not sure I'd like it any other way. It does make the day go by quickly.

I've been sticking to the "being healthier" goal fairly well. I had a pop today because I need it to unwind. Stupid reason, I know, but it did work. I am planning on going home and enjoying the wonderful sunshine by taking Scooter for a walk.

I've been fighting off the stomach flu for 4 days now. It is going through the program and the kids are constantly getting sick. My aide and I have joked around about adding on a vomitorium just for the sickos.

Spring break is drawing near and I'm just as antsy as the kids. I'm only taking Monday and Tuesday off, but I'm still looking forward to it.

Well, seeing as how I have nothing of real value to report, I guess I'll call it a day and head home.

Fun Weekend

It was a good weekend, despite my cold. I've been fighting this cold for a couple of days and thanks to some help from Zicam I thought I was ahead of it, but it seems to be kicking my butt again this morning.

I spent most of Saturday morning just being lazy and resting. Ayron had his first performance of the first third of his play at church. He did a great job and might I say that we have a cute daughter (he plays the father of a 10 year old girl)! Leah and Ayron's parents came with us to church and all three of them, plus one more, are coming back next Saturday! Yeah!! We were going to hang out with Ayron's parents after church, but they had us invite our group out to the house to watch the basketball tournament. It was cool! I don't think they'll ever admit it, but they like having a house full of chaos, and I'm sure Tom enjoyed having two little boys around.

I spent Sunday morning doing some light housework since my back had been hurting. We have a chiropractor appointment this Wednesday and I was trying not to push it, but I apparently did, because it is all I can do to sit up straight this morning. We took Scooter out to Phil and Nikki's in the afternoon for some puppy socializing. Brutus, their 100lb. St. Bernard loved playing with Scooter and getting all muddy. While they were playing, I did something I never thought I do. I went mudding. It was hilarious!!! Phil and Nikki just got two new 4 wheelers and the big one can go up to 85 mph. The back lot was muddy, and I knew what I was getting into, but I didn't think I'd get as muddy as I did! It was hilarious. We took turns doing rooster tails and coating each other in mud. The girls had fun racing Ayron and myself around the yard and over the hill. It was fun to do something as a family, and to watch JoEllen do her famous gasp and I gunned it and jumped the hill with McKenna on the back. Needless to say, it was a lot of messy fun!!

I also met Charlie Sunday night. Read the previous post and take a guess at who Charlie is.

Our Expanding Family (?)

I know what you're thinking, "She's pregnant!" Nope! Ayron and I will be expanding our family in about three weeks. His name is Charlie and he is very cute! I don't have a picture of him yet and I'm not going to tell you what he is. I think it would be funny to see what people guess. I will give you three clues.

1.) He has a brown mustache.
2.) His name actually describes his coloring.
3.) He is a "fader"

Former Church

Ayron and Michael have started a Bible study. We've decided to meet at the DCYC in Auburn. It is a central location and it's free. The DCYC is also where our former church meets. They met in a small room at the end of the hallway. Ayron and I got there plenty early and I was curious. So I spent some time just sitting in the room that I used to attend church in. I should correct myself. I was laying on the couch. Yes couch. They use a kitchen table, chairs, huge ottoman, and several couches for seating. If it works for them, great, but it doesn't work for me. I just laid there, starring at the ceiling. I finally realized that I was waiting. Waiting for God. I had been in a funk, and didn't even really want to go to Bible study. So I made myself lay there and reflect on the day. I literally muttered, "Ok God, I'm here and listening, talk." I laid in there for about 15 minutes (I had to get up to make it back to the room in time for Bible study). Funny thing is, He didn't talk. I didn't here a booming voice, I didn't see an angel fly through the room, I didn't have a warm feeling come over me. I grew angry, I thought, "I made the effort to be still and quiet and He didn't show." This morning I was reflecting on my thoughts from last night (and I still am as I write) and I became angry, not with Him, but with myself. God made his point last night. He didn't have to send an angel or make a noise. He made his point with silence. I fill my day with noise. Students, music, foot tapping, etc. God lead me to that room last night. He placed the urge in my heart for silence, for a brief amount of time to just be still, and wait. I'm not good at waiting, we all know that. But I waited last night. So while I didn't "hear" God, I did. His point came across loud and clear. Maybe I'm not making sense to anyone, but in my mind, I am. I realized that I've been filling my silent and still time (that I should be spending with God) with noise and action. I was laying on a couch being distant and God spoke to me without speaking at all.

Working for the Government...

...does have it's perks! Several of us in my department have been experiencing major problems with out work phones. We all had Razors. Yes, I carried two Razors. I had problems with my work phone since day one. I am just now starting to have problems with my person Razor. Anyway, back to my story. My boss calls me up and says, "I just talked to L (our account dude at Centennial) and we're gonna get new phones. " So I spent the afternoon in at Centennial (By the way, if you have to go to the Angola Centennial, ask for Candance!) having our phones changed out. We now have Motorola V361's. They are cool looking, and they came with some extra toys. It came with a memory card (a $75 value), headphones, and a USB cable. Now, will we ever use those toys, probably not. But it was fun sitting around the office like a bunch of kids at Christmas opening up our new phones.

You've Got To Be Kidding Me! Part II

Last week I blogged about the show "Primetime: Outsiders." They had a man claiming he was Jesus, and well, you can read the old blog. This week, the show was about stage parents. I have half way interested, half way asleep, so I decided to have in one while a friend of mine and I talked. Turns out, the whole "stage parents" thing was a crock! They were parents that were helping their daughter jump start her porn career. They approved of what she was doing, and even helped her sell herself. What kind of parenting is that? I was sickened. Then they introduced a lady who used to be in the porn industry, but she claims she is not a Christian. If she is what she claims, then good for her, but I question her claim. She was wearing a very low cut tank top that read "Holy Hottie." She goes to conventions and tries to minister to current porn stars. If she is genuine, fine, but I was a little confused by her clothing. Maybe that is me being old fashioned, but her top was way to tight and way to low cut.

Kung Fu Puppies!!

It looks like Ayron is making Peanut and Scooter Kung Fu Fight!!!

Lovely Day!!

It's a lovely day outside. The sun is out, the snow is melting, the birds are chirping. I had to drive back to Hamilton today to get more work for two of my students. I was lucky enough to take the Ford 500. I have fallen in love with that car I knew it had a high safety rating because Nikki was driving a 500 when her accident happened. But anyways, I had the windows down, the music up, and I was cruising. It was nice to enjoy the country side without all of the snow. Everyone's mood, at least here at work, has improved. The kids are actually awake and working. I have the windows open and I can't get enough fresh air into my lungs. It's amazing how God has designed this earth. Just when I can't stand another cold snap or snow storm, God grants us two days and beauty.

Has Spring Sprung??

The weather this past weekend has be gorgeous! It's raining now, but I'd rather have rain than snow! I'm feeling my yearly spring itch to start cleaning EVERYTHING! I've already started my list of things I want to do around the house, and I'm going to start a list for the house I work out of. Here are my lists, I'm hoping that if I "publish" them, it will hold me some what accountable for actually doing them.

Home:
1.) Put pictures in collage in living room
2.) Clean carpets
3.) Tear out front bushes
4.) Cut down raspberry bushes to proper height
5.) Paint garage door
6.) Organize guest bedroom closet
7.) Clean, organize, and "decorate" the 4-seasons room
8.) Organize the garage closet (yes, there's a closet in the garage)
9.) Trim trees

Work:
1.) Clean and organize office (done!)
2.) Clean and organize closet in the computer lab
3.) Clean the computer lab and bind lose cords together
4.) Scrub the bathroom
5.) Organize the kitchen cupboards
6.) Rearrange the "non-traditional" classroom
7.) Hang bulletin board in "non-traditional" classroom

Hopefully I'll have all of this stuff done before the kids come back from Spring Break!

Fuel to the Fire

We (by we I mean my family) is still dealing with the repercussions of the accident that seriously injured my sister-in-law. I'm sure we'll be dealing with it for some time. They have contacted an attorney and are taking all of the proper steps, but it seems like there is no end in sight. We spent Saturday evening with them and my oldest niece. Nikki showed me her file box of paperwork from the accident. She handed me a letter that the insurance agency of the trucking company sent her. Before I tell you what the letter said, here is a brief description of what happened the cause the accident. A woman disobeyed a stop sign and attempted to pull through an intersection. A semi tried to swerve to miss the woman. When he swerved, he crossed the center line he jack knifed the truck and hit my sister-in-law. She spent a total of a month in the hospital and is still battling physical problems. She was expected to die and the doctors can't explain why she survived or how she is doing so well. She took her drivers test last week and passed, but she still isn't driving. Anyway, now that you're up to speed here is what the letter said. I'm not quoting it, but it said something to the effect of : Our accident reconstruction team has reviewed the accident between your vehicle and our truck. They have concluded that the accident was SOLELY YOUR FAULT and you are now expected to pay $12,000 to repair the equipment YOU damaged. I laughed, and put the letter down, then I go mad. I didn't let it show because I didn't want to upset Nikki, but you've got to be kidding me right? You think she caused the accident? She was minding her own business on HER side of the road. She even tried to pull of the road into the ditch to avoid being hit and you claim it's her fault? Who do they have on their accident reconstruction team? 3 year olds playing with tonka trucks? They called the attorney and read him the letter, he laughed and said that he will use that against them when the time comes. They are not trying to get rich, just get back to the way things were before the accident. Sad thing is, none of us will be the same. Please pray for them, they are struggling emotionally and while they won't admit it, they are really hurting. They don't attend church, but I have a feeling they believe. Pray that their desire to know God will become so strong they will listen to our invitations to attend church with us.

Another Deadly Weekend

It seems like there has been an abundance of accidents lately, especially deadly ones. The recent bus crash which involved students from a local college, my sister-in-law's accident (that's another post), and now the crash of three former students. This weekend, in Garrett, three high school girls were involved in a single car crash. The passenger was killed, the driver has head trauma, and the back seat passenger has some leg injuries. While I didn't have these students in class, the names are really familiar to me. Ayron had a couple of them when he taught in the middle school. I knew every student's face at Garrett. I loved student teaching and getting to know the kids. While I didn't know any of the girls in the accident personally, the wreck still hit me, deep. It seems like the rate of accidents have increased while the age of the driver has decreased. I lost a classmate the summer before my senior year in a single car accident. When will law makers pass a bill that will raise the driving age? I know that kids would hate that, but wouldn't they hate losing their life, or their friends life more? Can't we make it mandatory to take some kind of actual driving course? I don't know if I can stand to hear another news report about a dead young driver.

You Couldn't Pay Me Enough!

I've decided that after all of the drama today at work, you couldn't pay me enough to go back to high school. I have several teenage girls in my program right now and all of the drama and "that's not what I said"s prove my point. It's ridiculous. I want to look at them and scream, "In the long run, IT DOESN'T MATTER SO DROP IT!" But I don't. I merely told them that what ever problems they are having need to be solved on their own time and not to get worked up over the "he said, she said" business of life. I didn't hate high school, but still, there is not enough money in the world.

Blast From The Past

It seems as though the last month has been a blast from the past for me. I've reconnected with many people. L and I started talking and hanging out again after a year of not speaking to one another. K came over last night with her puppy and we sat and talked for 2 1/2 hours without skipping a beat. K and I haven't really talked since the middle of our senior year. I managed to track down my cousin, M, and we've started emailing this week, and have even thrown around the idea of her coming up here this summer to visit. My drive to Hamilton this morning was the icing on the cake. My grandmother lived in Hamilton and I spent a lot of time up there with her, especially in the summer. Last week I drove past her old house, literally, I missed it. The owners have resided it and done some cosmetic changes and I didn't recognize it. I whimpered a little sigh, and drove back to work. Today I had to drive back to Hamilton and when I drove past Harger's Meat Market. The memories of going there with Grandma to pick out the perfect slices of ham, bone in of course, for dinner. Then going home and her frying the ham, and then using the drippings to make gravy. Then, finally, being able to sit down and eat her ham, rice, and gravy dinner. You always had to add a ton of salt, but that is what makes the memory so special to me. I can still hear grandma say, "Dang, this is really bland, I thought I added enough salt" as she reached for the remote to turn on "Rescue 911." I almost stopped and got a ham steak for dinner, but I didn't. I didn't want to ruin my memory with grandma, by trying to make her gravy. Mine never turns out the way she did. Maybe I'll make bologna and cheese roll ups and pretend I'm sitting on the pier with my Snoopy fishing pole.

Gonna Do Better

So I've made a New Year's Resolution. I know, I know, it's a little late in the year. I've decided to do better by myself. I mean, take better care of myself and take time for myself. I've recently gotten back into doing puzzles and scrap booking. My goal is to make time for myself at least 3 times a week to work on something I enjoy. I decided that when Ayron plays playstation, I'll work on my puzzles or scrapbook. I've also decided to start walking more. I walk all over up here at work since all of my offices are spread out, but at home, I have become vegetative. I've decided to get out and actually walk the dog. He needs to walk and so do I. I had been taking him on short walks because he was so little and his stubby legs wore out quickly. Last night he and I walked from out house down to McIntyre. Not a long way for a normal human. But in the frigid cold, with no hat, and asthmat was good for me. Once it begins to warm up more, I want to take walks in the morning as well. I've decided that I'll start out at our house, and walk down to McIntyre, then turn around and walk up to 7th street, then turn around and come home. That should make a nice walk, and if I do that twice a day, hopefully my energy level will go up. I'd love to join gym, but money is tight, and right now so is time. I figure that once it gets nice enough out, I'll even walk on my lunch breaks.

I'm also going to start eating healthier. If you see me out, and I'm not eating healthy, feel free to point it out to me. I'm also cutting back on portions. I've been doing that for some time now, and I'm finally to the point where I'm not hungry all the time. I've stopped drinking pop, and have taken up the fine art of water, lots and lots of water. Which means, I've also taken up the fine art of constantly walking to the bathroom.

Hopefully I'll start to feel better soon and I'll be able to lose the winter weight I've put on and then some.

Something Funny

Here's something funny for all of you pet owners out there.

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Simpletons! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously stupid. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

You've Got To Be Kidding Me!

So, I woke up early, took the dog for a walk, and settled on the couch to watch some "Good Morning America." Ayron was up with me and we were both appalled by what we saw. They did a short excerpt from something that is going to play on "Primetime: Outsiders." There is a guy in Texas claiming to be Jesus Christ. Sure, his names is Spanish for Jesus, but that doesn't make him THE Jesus. He is an ex con to add icing to the cupcake! He has a tattoo of the mark of the beast, and also wears it on his vest. He has convinced people he is Christ. How dumb is America that they believe him? Do they really think that Jesus would come back as an ex con wearing the mark of the beast, a Rolex, and driving around in a pathfinder? I am going to watch the episode of the show though. I'm curious as to what he is saying and how people are falling for it. I want to know what this guy is "feeding" his flock. Is anyone else bothered by this? I don't know what bugs me more, the fact that this guy tells people he is Jesus Christ, or the fact that ABC is going to devote a whole hour to his crap? I know that ABC would retort with some comment about, "Well, the show is called 'Outsiders' and we're merely trying to report on what is out there....blah blah blah." I'm just disguisded.

Totally Creeped Out!

As I was sleeping early Sunday morning, I had this feeling that something wasn't right and that I need to wake up. I opened my eyes to see Ayron leaning over me, about 4 inches from my face, eyes wide open, with a big grin on his face. I asked him if he as awake, to which he replied, "Yeah." I looked at the clock, it was 4:38. He just kept grinning at me, I asked him what was wrong, to which he replied, "Nothing." I told him, "It's 4:30, go back to sleep." When I asked him about our conversation the next morning, he couldn't remember a thing. I knew that he used to sleep walk, but that didn't occur to me until after we talked about it. Turns out he was asleep, but you could have fooled me. It was very creepy though! He was 4 inches from my face, just grinning! Can you imagine if I had found him walking around the house!

Feeling Broken

It's been one of those weeks, and as the clock slowly ticks closer and closer to 4, I'm feeling worse and worse. I feel very broken, very vulnerable, defeated, exhausted, and just plain grumpy. I just want to run. Not physically, cuz let's face it, I'm not physically fit. I want to run away for awhile. Let me clarify that, I want to temporarily leave, go some place far away and relaxing. It's not that I want to avoid the problems in my life, I just want some time away to gain clarity.

I was attempting to drive to a school to meet with the guidance counselor about a student. It had started to snow, and was calming. The calm turned to panic when I realized that outside of town the roads were a mess. I got about 1/4 of the way to my destination when I decided to turn around and admit defeat. I was tempted to take the left and head out of town, but I took the right turn and ended up back at work.

We were going to go bowling tonight with a group of friends from church, but Ayron is feeling ill so I think we're gonna stay at home. That won't do much for my "wanting to run" urge, but at least I won't be at work.

Am I crazy? Does anyone else experience these urges to leave adult life and all of it's responsibilities for a day or two? To be 5 again and not have a care in the world. To actually enjoy the snow instead of cursing at it while driving home. Maybe I'll go tanning and get some fake sun in my life.

Bypassing Crazy Going Straight To

INSANITY!! I think I've lost it. You wouldn't know it by looking at me, I appear calm, but if people could hear what I was thinking today.

I lost it on my "aide" who hasn't been an aide, just a bump by the laptop. I asked him to work on a grant. He flat out told me, "Well, with all of the students......." I tuned him out. I looked at him, stuck my hand out and said, "Fine, give me the grant to do and you start actually working with the kids." I think he got the point. When I had calmed down and ventured out of my office. He was glancing through the grant AND helping two students. Maybe he finally understood!

I still feel very frazzled and while I'm excited the weekend is here, it will not be long enough.

Something that has been cool lately is reconnecting with old friends. I had an old friend over for dinner last night, and we are getting back to normal. We sat on our new furniture (yeah me!) and talked for close to 3 hours while our dogs sniffed each others hind ends.

To top it off, I got an email from an old friend of mine (we haven't talked for about 5 years). She was surfing the web and googled my name. She read my blog, and emailed. It's cool to discover what's going on with her.

Well, the kids break time is almost up and I still need to finish planning next weeks work for 3 of the students.

1st Thunderstorm

The first thunderstorm of the year is happening outside my office windows right now. What is odd, is that out one of my windows, I can hear the chirping of birds. It's an odd, yet cool thing. I was amazed on my drive to work. I watched the storm roll in from the West on my drive, and while storms scare the crap out of me, I was eerily calm. I'll admit that I am now not as calm. There is lightening and thunder and rain, OH MY! Well, I should get some work done before my meeting.